when men cry

life and living it
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Jackson sat in the waiting room of the psychiatric practice waiting for Mark, he would occasionaly look up at the tall lanky teenage boy with auburn hair that was bowl cut and part down the middle to hug the sides of his face. The young man was handsome, yes, but that wasn't what piqued his interest, the boy at first glance seemed to be talking to himself but once he looked closely he noticed the boy was in a coversation with another despite them being the only two in the room. He put down the paper he was reading and moved two seats closer to the boy, leaving a seat between them. He listened and the boy seemed to be asking to be left alone.

"mint?" he smiled at the boy who turned to look at him and offered him some mints, the boy shook his head "i know a way to make them stop... the voices" he smiled.

"I don't hear voices" the boy gave Jackson a sharp look.

"who were you talking to then?" he knew engaging the boy in a conversation would give him a break from whatever was tormenting him, even if it was just for a brief minute.

"I don't know her" the boy looked at his hands and started fidgeting with them "I don't know any of them but i see them all the time, and they try to talk me" he looked up to see if Jackson would laugh like everyone else "everyone thinks i'm crazy but i'm not" he added when Jackson didn't laugh.

"What do they say to you?" Jackson asked

"I don't know, i tell them to go away" he stopped fidgeting when he realized Jackson wasn't looking at him like he was crazy, like everyone did.

"You know maybe if you listened, they would go away" Jackson looked at the boy with kind eyes "is she still here?" the boy nodded "listen to what she's saying"

The boy stared intently at the empty seat between them for a while "she wants me to tell her mom she is sorry, she didn't mean to sneak out of the house, she's sorry she got killed, she wants her to stop crying because she is going to a happy place" the boy said.

"tell her you will help her" Jackson smiled

"Where is your mom" the boy stared into the empty seat "I'll tell her" he said after a while.

Jackson watched as the boy's eyes slowly moved from the chair, to the corner of the room and up at the ceiling "is she gone?" he asked

"she went to the light" the boy's eyes slowly strayed from the ceiling and settled on Jackson and he smiled a little when he met Jackson's kind eyes "thank you" his smile faded and his face whitened suddenly as Jackson nodded his head "you're dying" he blurted out.

Jackson gaped at the boy not able to comprehend how the boy could possibly know, he knew he had a fifty-fifty chance of survival and had chosen to believe he would survive, the boy's words scared him and angered him "I'm not!!" he raised his voice and tears fell suddenly.

"You are, i feel the essence around you, the cold is upon you" the boy's eyes seemed to be looking through Jackson, not at him.

"How dare you!!" Jackson got up to his feet shaking slightly from fear "You're insane!..crazy bastard--" the office door opened and Jackson hurriedly wiped his face when Mark stepped out, he forced a bright smile on his face to hide the tears and fear "Mark!!" he walked over hurriedly and linked his arm with Mark's pulling him along towards the front door without looking up.

"Yugyeom?" he heard the therapist call "come on in"

Jackson looked over his shoulder and saw the boy whose name he heard was Yugyeom also looking over his shoulder at him, their eyes met and he shuddered as he turned away and walked out the front door.

"are you ok?" Mark asked him when he felt him shake slightly.

"i'm great!!" Jackson said a little too enthusiastically to cover up his shattered spirit "let's hurry along now, you have speech therapy in thirty minutes"

"ugh.." Mark sulked "i don't need it anymore, i'm talking alright, am i not? i don't need any of these therapies anymore, I haven't had an episode in three months, i'm off my meds, look at me i'm walking outside, look i can touch him" Mark touched a man walking past them to prove his point and got a nasty glare, he stopped walking and turned Jackson to face him " You're the therapy i need, no really" he giggled when Jackson grimaced " i just want to go somewhere nice and quiet and spend this very nice beautiful spring day with you" he held both of Jackson's hands in his.

"wouldn't that be nice" Jackson smiled up at Mark thinking how many more spring days he would get to spend with Mark before he...he... he shook his head not able to think it "let's just get through it ok? we're going to take it a day at a time" yes, he was going to live the days as they came, each one a gift he would cherish. He let go off Mark's hand and led the way, smiling as Mark whined behind him.

 

"that wasn't so bad, was it?" Jackson asked as they left the speech therapist.

"I told you i didn't need it anymore" Mark slid his hand inside Jackson's and locked their fingers out of habit.

"do you always have to the that?" Jackson squeezed Mark's hand, the comfort was very much needed.

"you know i have addictive and obsessive tendencies, i can't help it" Mark chuckled.

"Maybe we should, get you back on your meds" Jackson chuckled when Mark slapped his chest with the back of his hand "i guess he agrees with you, because today is the last day of speech therapy" Jackson put Mark's assesment sheet in his messenger bag.

"good, I'm starving" Mark pulled Jackson behind him toward the restaurant they always ate at after his therapy.

Jackson stopped at the table top stall infront of the restaurant filled with assorted trinkets, he picked up an old looking ring and turned it over in his hand. Looking at the old ornament made his eyes water, even stupid, simple, cheap rings were growing old so why he couldn't he? "do you want to buy that? it is a good ring, that one, the previous owner had it for ninety two years, he said it was his lucky ring, you should buy it for good luck" he heard the merchant say.

"Um i was just looking thank you" he forced a smile and pulled Mark with him into the restaurant.

 

They decided to take a stroll in the park after lunch before going home, there was a fair going on when they got there and got carried away with the rides, mostly thanks to Mark who seemed obsessed with the viking boat. They were standing in line for the tenth time which Mark promised would be the last one.

"Move it face" Mark said getting irritated at the large guy standing in front of him holding up the line.

"Mark" Jackson nudged his side.

"what" he crinkled his eye brows in confusion at Jackson's wide eyed stare "oh, i said that aloud didn't i?"

Jackson nodded praying the oversized man will let it go when he turned around to face them, Mark had no filter on the things he would say, he didn't know when he was saying the things he was thinking and had gotten them into some unpleasant situations.

"What was that?" the oversized man looked menacingly at the two men infront of him

"nothing!" Jackson exclaimed smiling awkwardly

"Yeah i didn't think so" The man replied

"" Mark rolled his eyes and looked appolegetically at Jackson when he realised he had said it out loud again.

"what?" the big man shoved Mark.

"Hey don't touch him!!" Jackson slapped the man's hand away from Mark

"what are you going to do?" the man pushed Jackson

"bastard" Mark threw a punch to the man's face when he laid his hands on Jackson.

Jackson saw the man's buddies who had already got on the ride begin to get down, he grabbed Mark's hand "run!!" .

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Comments

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lulu104 #1
Chapter 1: That was so sad but such a beautifully written story.
LimJaebumtrash85 #2
Chapter 4: Oh my goodnesss..... my tears wont stop!!
Authonim, u r soooo good at the emo bit in a story , which is every bit in this story. Thank u fir this markson. ♥
cascade7 #3
Chapter 4: wow... this is legitimately the first time i've actually cried reading fanfiction. this was so sad... beautiful but sad...
hyunyeolliemarkson #4
Chapter 4: Heartache! Damn it ninja-cutting-onion everywhere! Great writing author-nim
psicopompo #5
Chapter 4: This is my first time comment in your fics I think that all of the are awesome and I love all them so wow you're a excellent writer and I hope you still doing this in the fandom, for real this needs to be read by everyone and about this fic I love it, I love every single word and I cried a lot but it was so beautiful ❤ thanks for the fics (love)
dolphinqueenKya
#6
Chapter 4: Crying ..... horribly ...omg my tears just won't stop
miuraL
#7
Chapter 4: Love it!!! <3
miuraL
#8
Chapter 4: You know how hard is to make me cry?!!
You broke the record!
This was a Beautiful story, I was hoping for Jackson to survive, but you did a wonderful work there, I just can't stop thinking about how Mark is going to fully live his life without Jackson Q.Q
Thank you so much!!
Jaackk_Jaackk #9
Chapter 4: Thanks a lot for making me cry :'(
I was really hanging on to that single piece of thread that Jackson would survive.
I always cry so much in the end because I always think "What if that would happen to me?" I probably wouldn't be whole again either..
Great story Author-nim
Yeolsspiration
#10
Chapter 4: OMG why author ???
you made me cry OMG ! Markson .