"No!"

"Yes, Donghae!"

"No, I don't need to."

"You've been on those crutches for four weeks. You need to go to the doctor to see if it's healed or not. You don't have to walk around on crutches if you don't need them."

"I'm sure I'm fine. My ankle feels fine, I'll just walk. No crutches. Who needs a doctor?"

"Shut the hell up!" Eunhyuk shouted, frustrated. "We're going to the doctor."

I growled, trying to fight against him as he dragged me out of the room. "Your hurting my ankle," I mumbled, pouting.

Eunhyuk swooped me up bridal style, raising a brow. "Better?"

"Now your just embarrassing me," I told him quietly, my cheeks getting pink although I wasn't sure why. I had a boyfriend and Eunhyuk was only a friend.

"Plus, you didn't grab my coat so now I'm cold."

"It's October. How in hell are you cold?" Eunhyuk asked, laughing. 

"," Eunhyuk muttered, causing me to slap his chest. 

"Put me down."

He ignoring me and continued carrying me around campus, earning odd looks from everyone. "Wait, where are we going? The gates are that way."

Eunhyuk gave me a knowing look. "What kind of school would it be if it didn't have an infirmary?"

I blushed, feeling stupid. "A bad one," I muttered under my breath, avoiding the smirk currently taking over Eunhyuk's annoying face.

"Ah, Eunhyuk. What can I do for you?" a nurse asked, smiling politely.

"Is Dr. Ong in? Donghae broke his ankle a long time ago and he's been in a boot for a while. I was wondering if you could give him a check up and see if he's good to go."

She nodded, "Sure, I'll go get Dr. Ong. But he needs X-rays, so follow me down the hall first."

He nodded and brought me down the hall and to the X-ray room, watching them remove my boot and twist my ankle around uncomfortably to get the X-rays they needed to get a good idea of how I was healing.

"Alright, Eunhyuk will take you back to room seven and the doctor will be in shortly."

Eunhyuk swooped me up in his arms again, causing me to grumble out, "You don't have to carry me now, you know."

"Considering you left your crutches in the room, I'd say it's completely appropriate to do so," Eunhyuk replied, setting me down on the hospital bed thing. "I bet you're healed."

"I bet I'm not," I countered, narrowing my eyes.

"If you're healed, I'm taking you out bowling tonight."

I burst out laughing. "Bowling, seriously?"

Eunhyuk frowned. "What? What's wrong with bowling?"

"Who actually likes bowling?" I asked rhetorically, snickering.

"Me!" Eunhyuk defended, looking upset. 

Now I felt ing guilty. "Yeah, um, well bowling can be fun. Um, I-"

"Donghae," Eunhyuk started, grinning. "I was kidding."

My mouth popped open in shock, a surprised laugh forcing out of my throat. "Oh," I finally said, feeling like a ing idiot.

"But if you are healed, I'm seriously going to make you suffer through bowling."

"Fine, but if I'm not I'm taking you to a scary movie," I informed him, giving him a smug look. Despite the hurt of our past, it was so easy for Eunhyuk and I to fall into friendship over the past few months since school started in August. 

Friendship, huh, who woulda thunk it?

Eunhyuk gulped, looking worried as he glanced down at my boot, almost begging my ankle to be healed.

"Well," the doctor said, causing Eunhyuk and I to both snap our heads towards him, anxious to hear the news. "Here's your X-rays," he announced putting them up on a screen so that we could see them.

"What does this mean?" Eunhyuk asked, frowning at the X-rays.

"Well as you can see, Donghae's ankle seems to be completely healed. However, you're just taking it out of a boot so it's probably going to be really sensitive and you'll have to be careful."

"So he's healed?" Eunhyuk concluded, not bothering to hide his grin.

"Yes, he is."

I groaned, throwing my head back. "But I hate bowling!"

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

"Can you believe it's almost Christmas?" I asked, grinning over at Eunhyuk.

"Can you believe we got snowed in here and weren't able to go home for break?" he countered, sipping his hot coacoa.

"Yeah, I miss Daesung . I haven't see him in a while," I commented, nibbling on my bottom lip.

Eunhyuk, who was sitting in a chair and looking out of the window, suddenly looked over at me. "Do you really miss him?" he asked me, frowning a little.

"Why wouldn't I?" I wondered aloud. "He is my boyfriend."

"Why should you miss him? He hits you," Eunhyuk spat, his fingers gripping his coacoa mug tightly. The mood in the room suddenly changed really ing quick. That's how it always was. One second things were fine, the next they were blown up.

"He's sweet when he doesn't though," I defended softly, wishing my chair wasn't so close to Eunhyuk's as I, too, watched the snow fall. I wanted to avoid this conversation really ing badly.

"I was sweet and I never hit you," he told me, making me feel overwhelmed. What was he trying to say? Why does Eunhyuk always say stuff meant to confuse the out of people?

"We were like a ticking time bomb," was all I could say in response, unsure if it was even fully true.

Eunhyuk stayed silent, an upset look on his face as he gazed at the white snow in the dark, night sky, his jaw clenching. "I didn't mean that in a bad wa-"

"Don't worry about it," Eunhyuk cut in, unable to look in my direction.

"Look at me, Eunhyuk. Please," I pleaded, feeling guilt swim around me. I was not about to up again.

He looked over at me, an odd bewildered look on his face as tears welled in his eyes while he took deep, painful breaths. "Why are you upset?" I asked carefully, not wanting to anger him.

"I cared, Donghae. Don't you get it? I cared about you. I never ing cared about anything after Sungmin and I actually had feelings for you. , Donghae. I'm ing crazy for you and you're so blind to it. It hurt me enough that you couldn't even tell a ing stranger that we were together before, but it hurts even more now because you've moved on to a guy that ing beats the hell out of you."

Eunhyuk was now standing, an incredulous look on his face, his coacoa mug long forgotten on the windowsill as his chest rose and fell with quick, hard pants. Eunhyuk was trying so desperately to control his emotions.

"Eunhyuk-" I started, feeling swarmed with emotions of my own.

"And it hurts me so bad, because I feel like I'm so close to finally having you, and then you mention him. The guy that gives you black eyes and broken bones. Damn, what makes me so bad that I'm worse than that? You've hurt me, Donghae. ing hell, you don't even understand the pain you've caused me. I just want you. Is that too much to ask?"

I didn't know what to say. I had no idea this whole entire time that Eunhyuk felt that way. He was always so unemotional and calm and how in hell was I supposed to know he felt like this? 

I gave him a shocked expression as hot tears rolled down his cheeks. I couldn't even explain how I felt. I just wanted to hug Eunhyuk or something, I don't know. I just felt so oblivious, so guilty, so ing terrible for hurting him.

"Good ing night," he whispered, his voice cracking as he turned away from me, collapsing on his bed.

I bit my lip and closed my eyes.

Lee Donghae s up again, on Christmas Eve.

________________________________________________________________________

Shaking Eunhyuk gently, I prepared to wake him up on Christmas morning. I was nervous, though, considering things didn't go so well last night, but I was prepared to apologize and hope for the best.

"Hmm," Eunhyuk grunted, peaking one eye open.

"Merry Christmas," I whispered quietly, giving him a timid smile. 

"If you don't have a gift for me, then go away and let me sleep," Eunhyuk replied, his voice laced with sleep.

I fought the urge to laugh. "I do have a gift."

Both of Eunhyuk's eyes popped open now, curiosity swimming in the depths of his golden brown irises that were still rimmed with red from his tears. 

"You do?" he asked, his voice peaking with interest.

"Yeah, an apology," I said with guilty eyes.

Eunhyuk sighed, his eyes closing once again. "It's fine," he said slowly, still not looking at me. "How would you have known anyways?"

I frowned, unhappy with his reply. I should've been very happy. He forgave me and understood where I was, but still. I wanted - what did I want? I don't know.

"Can't I get like...a hug or something?" I blurted, feeling embarrassed for saying something like that.

A humorless laugh escaped Eunhyuk's lips, his eyes once again opening. "Um, yeah, I guess so," he replied, sitting up. 

His muscled arms opened, showing me a good view of his hot tattoo sleeve, before wrapping his arms around my neck and pulling me to his chest.

I rested my head in the crook of his neck, my arms slipping just under his own to hug his torso. Had Eunhyuk and I ever hugged before? If we had, I didn't recall it.   

It was slightly awkward considering he was sitting and I was standing, but I was content with any hug. Especially a hug this long.

I stumbled over Eunhyuk's foot as I went to hug him tight, falling into him instead, sending Eunhyuk falling back as well, both of our cheeks pink. We stared at each other wide-eyed as our noses brushed.

Count on me to be a ing klutz and make things awkward.

"Sorry," I apologized quickly, scrambling off of him.

Eunhyuk closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. "No, it's cool," he finally spoke, laughing a little, but I could see I was only making things harder for him.

"I'm taking you out tonight," I decided aloud, my guilt pushing me towards things I would regret.

"What?" Eunhyuk questioned, giving me a shocked look.

"Not like, um. What I meant was, as friends. Like a Christmas dinner," I fumbled with my words, feeling like an idiot.

"We're snowed in," Eunhyuk told me slowly, laughing a little.

"Well we're having dinner in here tonight then. Just the two of us, as friends," I told him with fake confidence.

"Donghae, you don't have to keep reminding me that we're just friends. I get it, I'm not going to jump you or something," Eunhyuk told me, smirking.

"Right," I mumbled, feeling embarrassed once again. I always seemed to be saying stupid stuff around Eunhyuk and totally humiliate myself.

_________________________________________________________

 

"Ew, how do you eat that?" Eunhyuk questioned, frowning.

"Eat what? What's wrong with what I'm eating?" I replied, confused.

"Salad. How in hell can you stand eating salad?" he asked me, a disgusted look on his face.

"Nothing's wrong with salad," I defended, looking down at my bowl of salad.

"Lettuce is so nasty!" Eunhyuk exclaimed, making a scrunched up face as his body shivered with disgust.

"You're being way overdramatic. Lettuce has like, no taste at all. When was the last time you had it?"

"When I was six, and I'm never eating it again," he told me, watching me as I ate it. 

We were currently sitting on the floor, faced across from each other with the food in between us. Obviously we didn't dress up for the occasion considering I was wearing red basketball shorts and a white T-shirt and Eunhyuk was only wearing grey sweatpants without a shirt on. 

It was a casual Christmas dinner, but I was loving every second of it.

"Here, just try it," I offered, extending my hand with a piece of lettuce in between my fingertips.

"No," Eunhyuk replied stubbornly, refusing to take it.

I sighed and rolled my eyes, moving over our food until I was sitting next to his Indian-style folded knees. "Try it," I whined, waving it in his face.

He slapped my hand in attempts to shove the lettuce out of it. Instead  the lettuce flew out of my hand and my hand continued to fly into his cheek. It wasn't hard like a slap or anything, but my hand was on his cheek nonetheless. 

Surprised by my hand touching him, Eunhyuk jerked back all the while he tried to pull my hand away, a tight grip remaining on my wrist. Unfortunately for me, his grip on my wrist sent my body jerking forward with his as he fell back.

Eunhyuk was able to catch himself with one elbow, remaining propped up, while I had nothing to grab onto as I was becoming dangerously close to knocking my head right into Eunhyuk's.

Luckily for me, Eunhyuk noticed this also, and his other arm that wasn't supporting our weight wrapped tightly around my waist to hold me back.

I panted, trying to come to the sense of what clumsy thing just really happened to us. My hand somehow still remained on Eunhyuk's cheek, my chest against his as he supported my weight with just one ing elbow.

Holy .

Staring into Eunhyuk's eyes brought, well, I don't know what emotion it was exactly but it was overwhelming as . Eunhyuk's eyes slipped closed, his head craning up towards mine.

Realizing what he was trying to do, I whispered out, "No."

Eunhyuk heard me, freezing in his motions. His eyes popped open, holding curiosity and concern. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not cheating on another boyfriend with you, Eunhyuk," I told him firmly, my heart racing. What was I about to do, make a huge mistake?

"What boyfriend?" Eunhyuk asked, a sly look forming on his face in the dim lighting.

My heart was racing before and now it was all but flopping wildly in my chest. I took a few deep breaths, trying to control the emotions I was feeling. But what emotions were I feeling?

I couldn't even describe the feeling that took over me. It felt like my whole chest was swelling up, a pressure in my eyes like I was going to cry or something. A cold sweat broke out on my skin as the sensation took over my body. What was it? Was it happy or sad? Did I like the feeling or not? I couldn't ing decide. It was all so confusing.

"I can't do this with you, I don't want to get hurt," I whispered, fear adding into the mix of my emotional whirlwind. I was afraid of what Daesung would do when he found out about something like this.

"That's not something you need to worry about when your with me, baby," Eunhyuk promised in a low voice, his lips nearing mine.

The rational part of me protested and fought against Eunhyuk, but the moan that violently erupted from my throat the second his lips touched mine screwed rationality in every single ing way.

I wanted this.

No matter how hard it was to understand, I wanted this.

Holy ing hell, it felt so damn good to have his lips on mine again. 

It just felt right.

My hand that wasn't on his face cradled Eunhyuk's other cheek, his face now in my hands. I eagerly kissed him, a hunger for Eunhyuk the only thing on my mind.

His arm that was around my waist pulled me impossibly closer, his heat radiating off of his body and onto mine as my heart soared with joy and the feeling of completion washed over me.

Whimpering helplessly against his lips, I pressed my body as close as possible, needing more.Craving more. 

, I want all of him.

Eunhyuk pulled his lips away from mine, driving me nearly insane, until his hand that was around my waist left it's position and moved down my chest slowly.

"Eunhyuk, please," I panted, my hands sliding tightly around his neck as I begged to be touched by the guy who lit my life on fire.

His hands slid down to the spot I really desperately wanted him to touch, causing me to whine with pleasure. "Merry Christmas," he said against my lips, grinning madly. I grinned too, finally content for the first time in a long time.

Tonight, I learned something. 

I'm not complete if I don't have Eunhyuk.