This was actually supposed to be part of last chapter, but I kinda wrote this after posting it.
Sooooooo, I'm posting it as a short chapter. :v

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When Junmyeon entered the room, it was dark. There was still a little light outside but the blinds were closed and the light was off.

“Yixing?”

“Don’t turn on the light” was the immediate response he got.

“Are you okay?” Junmyeon asked making his way to where he knew Yixing bed was, he was taking cautious and slow steps trying not to bump into anything.

“Yes… don’t come” Yixing didn’t sound like himself, he sounded somewhat sad.

“Why? Is everything okay?”

“Yes… I’m just… tired and I have a headache”

“Oh… I was hoping I could talk to you, but I guess it can wait” Junmyeon didn’t want to feel disappointed because Yixing felt ill but he couldn’t help to feel slightly disappointed. Maybe his confession could wait until the morning, after all his surgery wasn’t until 3 pm. He could wait.

Junmyeon walked to his own bed and laid there in silence. Something happened to Yixing while he wasn’t there and he felt useless for not being able to do anything to make it better for Yixing.

On the other side, Yixing knew he was acting like an idiot. His consult with Doctor Wu had went well… all too well. The skin in his face had actually healed enough for him to not wear all those bandages on his head and face anymore and give it a chance to “breathe”, as Doctor Wu said. So now, he laid there in the darkness feeling miserable because he couldn’t face the only person he felt he could trust the more at the moment. It was stupid but he didn’t want Junmyeon to see him like that.

When he found out that Junmyeon liked him a part of him felt a flattered. Junmyeon was a great person, he was sweet, smart, and attentive and while he didn’t really like him Yixing could see himself falling for the other guy. He thought about it all day. Junmyeon actually liked him and if they weren’t there in that exact moment, on a hospital sharing a room, maybe Yixing would have rejected Junmyeon because he didn’t really know the guy. But in only just a couple of days he had been able to know the real Junmyeon and to trust him. Now Yixing could say undoubtedly that he would love to give Junmyeon a chance and try to see where things went.

But things weren’t that simple. He knew that as soon as Junmyeon saw him he would not like him anymore and he didn’t even want to know what he would think when he finds out what actually happened to him. There was no way Junmyeon would like someone like that, someone like himself, who now had too much baggage to carry.

That night they both fell asleep with an uneasy feeling on their chests. Junmyeon didn’t get to confess and he was still nervous about his surgery, while Yixing was just feeling sorry for himself and was hoping that his nightmares left him alone that night.

It was a beautiful night, Minseok could see it from his place on the bed. He loved that exact spot on the bed. From there he could see the window, which allowed him to see the stars during the night (the couple of them that the light pollution could let them see) and he was close enough on the edge to leave space for Jongdae to hug him from the back. It was his favorite spot and it felt wrong to be there just hugging a pillow with Jongdae’s scent on it and wetting his own pillow with his tears.

He stopped his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door. He didn’t lock it when he went in but he was glad that Jongdae gave him space and didn’t try opening it.

“Hey, Minnie... I know you’re mad and you probably don’t want to see me right now but it’s been a couple hours and you haven’t even eaten… I brought you something... you don’t have to talk to me, just… eat something… please”

“It’s open” Minseok said while he sat on the bed and made himself comfortable in the new position. He was mad, yes, but he couldn’t say no to Jongdae. It didn’t happen before and it looked like it was not going to happen soon.

“Hey” If hearing Minseok crying already made him feel miserable, looking at him like that, whit red and puffy eyes, just made Jongdae feel like the biggest bastard in the world.

He got close to the bed and silently handed Minseok the bowl he had in his hands. He sat on the bed watching as Minseok eat. The latter had given his permission for him to go in, but he wasn’t sure if he should talk or if the other would even listen.

“Thanks” Minseok answered with a raspy voice. He ate in silence, he was the one who was eager to get everything done with but he wasn’t so sure anymore. He now wanted to push back the moment they would have to talk because Minseok knew. He just felt it in himself that this was the beginning of the end for them.

When he was done, Jongdae took his plate and placed it on the bedside table.

“I know you probably don’t want to talk to me right now. But please, just listen” Jongdae took a deep breath to give him some strength to keep going “I’m sorry. And I’m not saying that to try and get you to forgive me because I know it doesn’t work like that. I lied to you and I broke your trust and, believe me, I hate myself for it” He sat himself next to Minseok and grabbed one of his hands. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure Minseok or himself.

“I never told anyone about us and I didn’t want anyone to find out, but that doesn’t mean I was ashamed of you. Min, you don’t know how proud I am of being able to call myself yours. Because you are perfect. You are funny, smart, kind and strong. So strong. And I’m not. And that’s the problem. I let everything and everyone get into my head and I did what I thought was the best for us. But I never stopped to think if it was what you wanted. I love you. I love you so much and I don’t deserve you, I know that. But please don’t leave me, Min. Please, let me try and be the man you deserve because I know you deserve so much better than this”

At some point during Jongdae’s speech, Minseok started crying again.

“And in the meanwhile what am I supposed to do, huh? Stay here every single night alone while you go and play a part for your mom?”

“No, Min… I… Just give me some time and I’ll make everything better again… I swear”

“And how long is that gonna be? A week? A month? A year? How long am I gonna be here waiting for you?”

“No… It’s not like that… I just… need some time to get used to it and…”

“It’s been two years, Jongdae. We’ve been together for two years” Minseok moved the hand Jongdae was holding and stood up “I can’t do this, Jongdae. I can’t live my life being the skeleton in your closet… I don’t… I don’t even know you right now. You are not the person I fell in love with”

“It’s still me, Minseok. I told you that. Whenever I say I love you I mean it. Nothing’s changed.”

“No, everything changed” Jongdae was looking at him again with does eyes that made him look like a kicked puppy and Minseok wanted to hug him but there was still that little voice in the back of his head telling him that the man he had in front had lied to him. He resigned himself to slowly caressed Jongdae’s face with his trembling hands.

“Min…” Jongdae said in almost a whisper. His eyes became watery and he started to feel desperate. He couldn’t let Minseok go. Not like that. Not when they could fix themselves.

“I’m sorry, Jongdae… but I can’t” Minseok allowed himself to lean and give Jongdae one last kiss. He only gave him a short peck, since giving a little more would make him want to stay, but he gave all his love in that sole kiss.

“No… Minseok” Jongdae tried to stop him holding his hands, but he couldn’t do much when the other really wanted to leave the room as fast as he could. Minseok couldn’t stand there and watch Jongdae crying his eyes out begging him to stay, his heart was too broken already.

“Goodbye” Minseok said finally releasing himself from Jongdae’s grip.

Minseok closed the door, leaving a distressed Jongdae behind. The latter didn’t even try to go after Minseok. He couldn’t. The love of his life was leaving him behind and he couldn’t find it in himself to stop it. Not when Minseok didn’t even want to stay, and that was entirely his fault.

Jongdae broke his own heart.

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If you are sad because chenmin broke up, you can go read my chenmin one-shot:
What the lady said
It's fluffy and it might ease your heart (yes... shameless self promotion)

And I wanna give my biggest thak you to those of you who subscribe and comment.
You make me really really happy. n_n
And you might notice that I'm actually trying to get over my awkwardness and reply the comments.

I already love all of you (づ￣ ³￣)づ