the first time taekwoon met sanghyuk was actually simple. they were on a long train ride, with taekwoon occupying the window seat way before sanghyuk claimed the seat right next to him.

when taekwoon reached his stop, he called for the unknown passenger right beside him to give a way for him to get out of there.

but the other didn't respond at all, which slightly annoyed him. so he patted the other's arm and he suddenly jolted out of his reverie.

"can you stand up first so i can--"

the boy widened his eyes and held up a hand that made taekwoon pause. then the boy took out a notebook and a pen and wrote something on it.

"sorry, i can't hear. what did you just say?"

taekwoon stared at the boy who looked at him expectantly. he took the notebook from the boy and scribbled down something on it before giving it back to the boy.

"this is my stop. i'm getting off so can you please let me out?"

the boy snapped his finger and wrote something again.

"what stop is this?"

"gwanghwamun."

"oh, okay. my stop is after this one. see you!"

the boy offered him a smile while giving way for him to get out. taekwoon wasn't used to smiling back at anyone, so he just nodded his head in gratefulness and got off the train.

they were supposed to stay as strangers.



but hakyeon decided it was time to break into taekwoon's rented apartment and even brought a company with him. he recognized the person who was still standing at the door hesitantly, knowing that the place was unfamiliar to him, but when his gaze finally found taekwoon, there seemed to be sparkles in his eyes that told him that he was really happy to meet him again.

"taekwoon, meet han sanghyuk, my cousin."

hakyeon snatched the notebook from sanghyuk's hand (he seemed to have never leave it out whenever he went) and scribbled taekwoon's name on it and gave it for sanghyuk to read.

"he's deaf and mute, so excuse him for a little bit, okay? oh, and he also came from daejeon all by himself before he arrived here. can't you believe that?"

taekwoon decided that hakyeon talked too much, and decided to focus on sanghyuk instead. sanghyuk gave him the notebook, and he could read the words on it, which prompted an unexplainable warmth to blossom inside his heart.

"nice to finally know you."



for some reason, sanghyuk now seemed to show up at his door often. at first, he'd bring along hakyeon with him ("he always asks when we're coming to your place again.") but after a few visits, he came alone at last.

the first time sanghyuk came alone, taekwoon didn't know absolutely nothing about what to say to him. he just let him into the apartment and walked him to the sofa in the living room.

"is it alright if i come alone here, right?" sanghyuk showed the notebook to the elder.

taekwoon took the notebook from him, but he nodded to the question.

"why are you coming here though?"

"hakyeon hyung is always busy with his dance practice, so i figured i better come here instead."

"i'm sometimes busy too."

"so does it mean that i'm not welcomed here?"

taekwoon looked up at the younger boy, who seemed to always have the smile on his face. his hand moved to touch the part under his eyes and his lips curved in a pout.

"it means i'm sad."

the elder looked at the younger for a while before scribbling on the notebook.

"i'm not saying i won't welcome you."

"then what?"

taekwoon didn't have the intention to answer it, but he still wrote something on the notebook anyway.

"do you want to watch a movie?"

sanghyuk chuckled when he read the note.

"you know i wouldn't be able to hear what the actors are saying."

"i'll put up subtitles for you."

sanghyuk chuckled again, his smile grew wider.




from hanging out with sanghyuk, taekwoon learned a few things about sign language. he could do a little bit of conversation with sanghyuk using the language, and he found himself enjoying it, since he never really was a man of words.

and sometimes, from learning the sign language, he learned how sanghyuk conveyed messages through his eyes, his smile, his gesture. he slowly learned how sanghyuk actually looked when he was truly sad (which he could only tell from his eyes, because sanghyuk was strong. he'd still smile even though he was sad) and he slowly learned to open his own heart to someone.

"we've moved on from the stranger terms, haven't we?" the note on sanghyuk's notebook said. he left it during his last visit, and taekwoon wasn't really expecting the note on the last page.

unknowingly, a smile formed on his own lips, as he recalled the moments he had spent with sanghyuk for the past few weeks.




when sanghyuk came the next day, the first thing that taekwoon did was to give his notebook back.

sanghyuk was frozen for a while, but he quickly regained his composure. he wriggled his index finger as a sign of thankfulness.

taekwoon didn't smile, but the slight crinkle of his eyes was enough for sanghyuk, and he even reached out to his arms, which was something out of ordinary. taekwoon was never the man to initiate skinship, even though it was just a hold of someone's arm or something like it.

but at that time, he just wanted to say, "you're welcome." he just hoped that the younger would somehow be able to hear it.

when taekwoon left him to cook something for the younger, sanghyuk looked through the notebook that he left the day before, and he smiled instantly at the last page.

"we've moved on from the stranger terms, haven't we?"

"ding dong."




taekwoon came out with a nicely prepared kimchi jjigae and ramyun, enough for two of them. sanghyuk picked out the movie again, and he chose a really sad movie because as described by sanghyuk on his notebook, it's "the only movie that can make me cry buckets."

because really, there must be a reason why sanghyuk wanted to cry at that particular night.

and when the movie finished, sanghyuk really cried buckets of tears. taekwoon was on the verge of tears too, but he was still better at holding it in.

when sanghyuk cried, he made voices, but nothing could be understood. he seemed to want to say something, but they just came out as incomprehensible.

so taekwoon patted his shoulder.

sanghyuk turned to him with glassy eyes, like a puppy that had just gotten kicked by someone.

taekwoon made that motion sanghyuk used the first time since they met, the one meaning sad. and then he shook his head, telling him that he shouldn't be sad just because of the movie.

but sanghyuk's incomprehensible whine got worse and he leaned in straight into taekwoon's arms.

other than words, taekwoon was never the man for skinship. but strangely, he felt the younger's body fit well inside his hold, that he actually didn't want to let go forever.

he patted the younger's shoulder again, hoping that he'd stop crying.




that night when sanghyuk left, he bore a pair of swelling eyes, but nevertheless, he was happy.

he just hoped that the elder could tell from his whining, his smiling a little brighter than usual when he met him, and the tears that he was only willing to share with him, that he was madly in love with taekwoon from the first time they met.

back in his room, taekwoon was smiling serenely as he looked up at the moon shining down the city in the middle of the night.

he hoped the younger could tell just from the fleeting touches, the reassuring pat on his shoulder, and the slight crinkle of his eyes he only wishes to share with the boy, that he was also madly in love with him.