„That’s the most stupid love story I’ve ever heard.”

Jung lets out a displeased whine as a response of her supposed to be caring and understanding new friend, Saem. But the latter just sips of her lemonade totally unfazed by the action and continues:

“I mean if you’re that much in love with that guy, why haven’t you made a move yet? You’re not stupid Jung-a.”

“That’s the point!” The said girl sighs. “I didn’t make a move because I knew I should be smarter than that… Seriously, were you listening to me at all?”

Saem rolls her perfectly kohl-lined eyes.

“I was! He was the big oppa who held your hand crossing the road, the big oppa who pushed your swing and blew your nose; and no matter how disgusting most of those actions are you fell head over heels with him in the peak of your puberty… But instead of confessing you chose to live in your childish fantasies longer naming all of it as something platonic or whatever and let him do as he wants, including leaving you behind and going to university abroad. Once again, what a stupid love story.”

Jung averts her eyes shamefully. It’s not like she regrets what she’s done- okay, she regrets it a bit since she can’t see Jongdae anymore but she doesn’t feel shame for what she’s done in the past. But Saem’s words hurt. Stupid? It was romantic. Beautiful even.

She was a graduate student in middle school, Jongdae a graduate student in high school, when things cleared out in Jung’s head. The sudden realization of loving her neighborhood oppa practically hit her in the guts. It was expected since they spent so much time together and wasn’t any other good-looking guy around who could make Jung’s heart flutter save for him… but even so, Jung fell hard and seemingly at a glance.

Suddenly she started dreaming of how it would be to hold Jongdae’s hand a little longer, seeing him smile at her a little differently or most importantly, how it would be if he kissed her goodbye. The last thing has always been the center of Jung’s dreamy scenarios – Jongdae walks her home after a date, they promise to meet tomorrow and just after they said their goodbyes, the boy pulls her back and seals her lips with a kiss. It’s neither passionate nor long-lasting, it’s more like heart-fluttering and sweet but it’s enough since that’s how Jung’s love is for Jongdae. Heart-fluttering and sweet.

However it soon dawned on Jung that it was a mistake to fall for someone like Kim Jongdae. It’s not like he didn’t treat her right or played with her feelings but it was easy to notice that even if Jung is ready to take their relationship to the next level, Jongdae is way far from that. Jung often doubted he realized that she’s not the little girl who has to be pampered anymore (or more like has to be pampered else way). It would have been a silly thing to confess since all she could have got is cooing or worse pity. And as a self-conscious and sensitive young girl, Kim Jungsook could not take any of that so just did as Saem meanly but awfully exactly described it – lived in her childish fantasies longer naming all of it as something platonic or whatever. She shut down the side of her which craved for more and did as Jongdae liked her to do.

“Jongdae oppa is my kiss-me-goodbye.” Jung speaks up after daydreaming. “But I’m afraid if I had kissed him, he would have said goodbye.”

Saem lets out a snort, indicating she’d get drowned in her lemonade rather than listening to this pathetic love story for longer.

“Hadn’t he said his goodbye already by leaving South Korea and you hanging? … Oh my God, Kim Jungsook, put a stop to this nonsense. He left, you stayed, end of story. No need to keep moping because of somebody who wasn’t a man enough to tell you how you are with each other.”

Jung winces. Even if there’s something in what Saem’s saying, she can hardly take that somebody assumes anything bad about her oppa. Kim Jongdae was playful, a bit childish and sometimes even impudent… but he was her oppa. Her oppa with a beautiful and caring heart. The one who showed her how the world works. Not a traitor, not a con artist.

“I’m sure he has his reasons.” Jung says, playing with the straw in her shake.

“Yeah, of course. Reasons which he forgot to tell you about accidentally. Shall I repeat myself?” Saem retorts without missing a beat then her words and face too softens. “From tomorrow a new chapter of our lives starts. We’ll meet new people, experience new things… I’m sure you’ll find somebody who will love you back too. Cheer up, Miss Kim.”

Jung laughs at her friend’s bad pun and with that the topic is dropped.

Yeah, tomorrow means her first college semester starts. That will be definitely a new chapter.

                                               .................................................................                                                         

After a week passes, Jung feels like she’s just opened up a new book instead of a chapter.

She failed to fulfill her parents’ wish which was her becoming a doctor or something with a serious PhD program and decided to go for DLA instead but that doesn’t mean she gave up hard work. On the contrary, becoming an artist seems to be even harder.

“What’s up?” Saem pops down to her bed on a Thursday afternoon. There are spots of clay at the front of her shirt; some are on her worn-out jeans. She has just come from a class but is as energetic as always. Ladies and gentlemen, Park Saemi.

“Not much.” Jung hums as an answer, totally immersed in the sketch she’s doing for hours now.

Her roommate goes behind her and whistles.

“Whoa, that’s what I call a masterpiece. The muse kissed you on the forehead?”

Jung looks at the paper in front of her frowning. Masterpiece? This?

“Um, Prof. Han instructed us to do a sketch which represents our direction in art.”

“You mean you do this as homework?” Saem pouts still examining the picture for Jung’s biggest worry. “It’s the second week! What a .”

Jung doesn’t agree. Prof. Han just does her work, tries to bring the best out of them… homework is a must. But it would be useless to argue over something like this with Saem so Jung just lets it go with a shrug and continues the portrait.

She chose charcoal. The cat in her mind is reddish brown but the black and white works with it being tabby. It has fluffy fur and short legs, almost looks a bit clumsy and oafish with its little stature but Jung finds it lovable. Its eyes are beautifully shaped, almond-like and its mouth curls at the end cheekily.

It’s not the perfect cat but Jung thinks it’s really likable. In her mind at least. Hopefully Prof. Han will like it too on the paper.

She gets so immersed with thoughts like these that she almost forgets Saem is still by her side. Almost because said girl suddenly perks up and points at the paper exclaiming:

“Excuse me but do cat smile?”

“Huh?” The intelligent response comes. Jung stops drawing to rethink. “What did you just say?”

“The cat. It smiles. ” Saem repeats herself, forefinger still aimed at the object. “It makes it look creepier than the Cheshire Cat.”

Jung freezes. His smile is exactly like that and it’s perfect what are you talking about, the words are on her tongue but she realizes in time that it’s an it not a he. What is she thinking about?

“That’s my goal.” She answers with fake composure after a moment or two. “I want to express exactly that. Your problem is…?”

Saem pulls her hand back and goes to change her clothes.

“Nothing. You do your art, I do mine.”

It’s an unsaid agreement between the two girls not to criticize the other’s art and Jung is thankful for that.

She tries to pick up where she left off but the charcoal feels weird in her hand and somehow all the lines waiting for to be drawn seem invisible. Jung concentrates harder but even after five minutes of straight staring she can’t continue.

Jung ends up lying on her bed, arms and legs outstretched. She knows her hands will leave some dark stains on the bright sheets but all she can think of is the cheeky smile of the cat which she knows well belong to somebody else. Prof. Han isn’t a , memories are.

“You gave up for today?” Saem comes back from their bathroom in a shorter than short skirt with a matching revealing top. Her eyes are lined with black even more.

“Yes, I think I did… I’m not curious or anything but are you going somewhere?”

Saem’s eyes light up with excitement. It practically answers Jung’s question in itself (the clothes too) but she gets a proper explanation anyway.

“A party will be held at the other dorm. You want to come?”

A party. A legendary college party which Jung heard so much of from her parents when they recited their “you shall not attend events like these during college” list.

“I don’t know.” She shares honestly.

“What do you not know? Hey, it’s going to be fun.” Saem starts to goad her once sensing she might have company. “You know Byun Baekhyun, right?”

Byun Baekhyun… the name sounds familiar. Jung searches for the matching face and she finds it soon. Dyed blonde hair and a puppy like complexion with an exceptional singing voice – Byun Baekhyun. How could he be not known?

“He invited us.” Saem giggles as soon as she sees recognition on her friend’s face. “I was surprised I mean we’re fresher than fresh underclassmen, what does he have to do with common people like us, but he was so nice I could die!”

Jung is still too unsure to answer. She wants to let down a bit, away from stupid lookalike charcoal cats and such, but at the same time she is afraid too what if something happen. Like too much drinking. Or stripping. She’s happy she could survive freshmen camp without both.

“A lot of people comes from my Shapes and Shadows class too. I heard even some people from graphics like you. Come on, Jung!” Saem just doesn’t seem to give up until she hears yes. She even puts the bait out. “He mentioned you, you know. I quote, “Don’t forget to bring your cute roommate. Jung, right?” You don’t want to let Baekhyun oppa down, do you?”

It does the trick. Although Jung has only seen Byun Baekhyun from afar, walking from one building to another or singing on stage, she can’t help on the attraction she feels towards the senior. She isn’t sure it’s something like what you feel for a famous person, some sort of admiration, or more but Jung is willing to find out.

“Okay. I’ll be ready in a minute.”

Saem has a smirk on her cherry lips but doesn’t say more than:

“That’s my girl.”

                                               .................................................................                                                         

“Somebody pass me a beer!”

Jung squirms. The yell comes from her right, from the mouth of some bulk guy with voice of a salesman. He doesn’t see her - there are too much people in the crowded hall for that – so he obviously isn’t commanding her but even so it makes Jung feel uncomfortable. What is somebody strikes up a similar conversation with her? What will she say? Or more like how will she escape?

“We’ll stay for at least two hours. Don’t look for exit for a while!” Saem half-yells half-whispers in her ear, clearly seeing through her. “And please, try to let loose a bit. You look like a nun visiting a brothel.”

The simile is appropriate. From where the girls are standing, there’s a perfect view at a couple ready to tear each others’ clothes off in seconds not caring about their audience. And even if Jung has an artist’s mind and she is open-minded, she quickly looks back at Saem instead. Some things are better left unseen.

“You forgot to mention the whole campus is hanging out here.”

“Everybody loves Baekhyun.” Saem says matter-of-factly, taking a sip from her glass of something. “His parties are the best… Don’t mind the crowd. If you try, you can enjoy too.”

Jung is about to respond something along the lines of I don’t care about the crowd but I care about my well-being when Saem jerks up with such intensity that she almost spills her drink.

“Look, there he is.”

She doesn’t need to attach a name - Jung easily spots Byun Baekhyun exiting the kitchen. He’s laughing on something. His eyes are crinkling with delight. Even among the sea of people, Jung can’t stop marveling at how flawless he is… until their eyes meet.

She looks away caught red-handed. It’s not like she did something so uncommon, everybody sizes Byun Baekhyun up once or twice (or more) and it’s fully understandable at such perfection but something tells Jung she shouldn’t have done it. How you dared to do, she thinks with strange and sudden disapproval.

For her “luck” Saem doesn’t notice her odd mood. She’s occupied with something else.

“Oh my God, he’s coming here!”

Jung’s eyes widen.

“What?”

“He really is. He keeps glancing at you!” Saem murmurs with a hint of jealousy then gives her drink to her friend. “Come on, drink it up.”

“Why?”

“Just do as I say.”

And blame it on the heat of the moment but Jung eventually does. The drink burns and warms her cheeks up. She guesses it’s something mixed with soju.

“Good luck.” Saem pats her rosy cheeks and disappears in the crowd. Jung stays alone save for the empty glass still in her hand.

It’s one of those times when Kim Jungsook wants to be a different person. Somebody who is brave, easy-going and mixes well with people of her age and a few years above that, not the introverted, dreamy girl she is with no sense of acting normal.

But just like during every other times she can’t. So Byun Baekhyun arrives to the Kim Jungsook she is.

“Hi.” He greets her cheerfully. “You’re Jung, right? Saem’s roommate.”

Jung nods in awe. He really knows her. When earlier Saem said that he invited both of them, Jung thought she’s lying to get her come to the party. “Don’t forget to bring your cute roommate. Jung, right?” Whoa. It can be he really said that.

“Yes.” Jung decides to speak since Baekhyun doesn’t continue. “Nice to meet you Baekhyun… oppa.”

The upperclassman chuckles. Jung doesn’t understand why. That was the less formal version! She initially wanted to say ‘senior’ instead of ‘oppa’. What would have she got then?

“You’re cute.” Baekhyun spokes up, smiling. He has a slightly weird smile but it just makes him more unique and charming. “Jung… Is that your real name? Or a nickname?”

Now Jung smiles also. Here comes the question she always gets first meeting somebody. Baekhyun is a person after all.

“It’s my real name. The shortest version though.”

“How the full version sounds?”

He’s listening to her eagerly and it feels good. It’s almost surreal that Byun Baekhyun is interested in someone like her.

Therefore it’s better if this topic remains untouched.

“It doesn’t sound too good.” Jung answers carefully. “I don’t have a pretty name.”

But all of her common sense vanishes in the next moment because Baekhyun beams at her and says:

“It’s okay. You’re pretty.”

First she’s cute then she’s pretty… Byun Baekhyun is certainly a smooth talker. What did she do in her previous life that she deserved hearing all these compliments from him? Jung is simply too stunned to say a word.

Baekhyun awkwardly scratches the back of his neck.

 “Sorry for being lame.”

The cute action knocks Jung back to being conscious.

“Oh no. You’re not lame.” How could he interpret her silence like that? What nonsense. “I don’t think you could ever be.”

Jung is the type of girl who compliments in the face, without being subtle or ambiguous. She believes if something or somebody deserves a compliment then it’s their right to know how amazing they are.

However saying it directly to Byun Baekhyun is a little different - Jung feels embarrassed and blames the alcohol.

“Thanks.” Baekhyun responds good-natured. It’s easy to see he likes the compliment. “Do you want something to drink?”

The question reminds Jung of her parents oddly again. “Do you want something to drink?” is one of the “questions you shall response with no in every situation”.

But it’s Byun Baekhyun who asks. It can’t be that bad.

They slip through the groups of people scattered around the hall to get to the kitchen. One girl with flashy pink hair collides into Jung on the way - she almost trips but at the end manages to stay on her feet thanks to the sofa nearby. Baekhyun sends her an apologetic look. Jung has no idea what for. It wasn’t his fault, was it? Anyway, Baekhyun holds her wrist from now on. Jung is relieved her blush can be deemed as it’s because of the alcohol.

The kitchen seems more crowded. It’s not possible but it’s relatively little size makes it look like it is. Baekhyun waves to a boy who Jung has never seen with his free hand. The boy waves back.

Baekhyun only lets her go when he pours drinks for them.

“One glass of icy cola goes to you.” He presents the drink to Jung. “You look a bit flushed.”

Look who’s talking, Jung is close to retort because Baekhyun’s cheeks are equally red. She only realizes this phenomenon right then so she wonders – is it because he drank too? Or is it because he’s embarrassed a bit too?

“Thanks.” She takes a sip. It really feels refreshing.

“You forgot to answer me the earlier.” Baekhyun continues. He’s drinking cola as well. It makes Jung smile. “What is your name? Aside Jung. You made me curious.”

Here comes the undeniable truth. Jung would hesitate but she can’t successfully avoid the same question twice. There isn’t such a thing.

“Well, my name is –“

She cuts off halfway. No, she didn’t forget her name. Baekhyun is good looking but handsomeness can’t make you forget something simple as your name is. (Only in ty dramas.) It’s just that Jung’s eyes caught a glimpse of something so familiar that decided her name matters the least at the moment.

Jung watches as the person her eyes spotted makes an entrance to the kitchen with two other people. They look for glasses and pour drinks for themselves.

Jung can’t think properly at the moment. What is this? Nightmare? Daydream? Did she said no to Saem at the end and fell asleep on her bed? (Speaking of where did Saem go?) It must be something because there is no way she sees who she thinks she does.

“Jung?” Baekhyun asks confused.

But the said girl is too busy with brainstorming to hear what he says.

Suddenly the three persons come towards her. They step closer and closer, they talking intently about something, gesturing around wild, drinks almost spilling (except for one of them, he just calmly smiles) and Jung holds her breath back. If they’ll be close enough she can confirm it.

Soon they’re only steps away. Don’t panic, don’t panic, she reassures herself when they are exactly beside her. Jung lets her guard down and steals a look. One of them looks up exactly then.

She can’t help but admit: her eyes are right.

It’s him.

“Guys, you’re finally here!” The boy who Baekhyun waved to greets the three loudly. They all look at him, so does the one who maintained eye contact with Jung. And Jung freaks out.

It can’t be. He doesn’t remember her…?

It… it can’t be, right?”

But the three boys get into a talk with the tall one. They laugh loudly and high five and every other boy thing. He doesn’t even look at her away.

Jung’s blood boils.

“Um, Jung-a.” Baekhyun attempts to get her attention again but it’s all in vain.

Blame it on the alcohol or on the young heart which was broken into pieces but Jung becomes pissed.

“Ya, Kim Jongdae! Have you lost your eyes?!”

For a millisecond the kitchen goes silent. After that everybody goes back to its business but that millisecond was enough to get the attention of who Jung wanted.

Jongdae gapes.

“Jungsook-a.”

A/N: So here it is, the the 1st part. Tell me what you think! ;)

[ Explain Me Corner (for those who wonder)
  - the reason why the female lead is so sensitive about her name is that "Jungsook" sounds pretty manly. It is a female given name but its pronounciation is the same as by "Jongsuk" which is a man given name. For example: Lee Jong Suk ]