"Am I better off dead, am I better off a quitter..."

'Waiter! One more round please!'
'Really Donghae, you dragged us to the bar again?'
'I need to be drunk Hyuk. I want to feel numb.'
'Let's go now hyung. This isnt helping at all.' Yesung backed Eunhyuk up.
'No, no I want to drink more. I need this so I can stop thinking of her.'
'We've been here almost every week Donghae, but it's always the same. Maybe you're better off without her.' Siwon said.
'Shut up Siwon!'
'Let him be guys, he wants this right? Let's enjoy the night.' Heechul smirks smugly, and started drinking his beer.
The boys sighed and just followed what Heechul said while still looking out at me. They think I'm crazy, but crazy isn't the proper way to describe me. More like broken. As the waiter brought our drinks I started drowning myself to oblivion and forget this stupid ache in my chest.

*****

"And my mates are all there trying to calm me down, coz I'm shouting your name all over town."

'Come on guys, time to help the fish out.' Heechul commanded.
'Aist, I hate tending to drunk people especially Donghae.' Siwon retorts.
'Just keep moving Siwon!' Eunhyuk said while guiding me out of the bar.

As they helped me out the bar, I feel the coldness of the night air and that's when all the pain and hurt starts flowing out of my system.

'Dara!!!!! Dara!!!!!! Dara!!!!!!' I shouted her name hoping she'll hear me.
'Donghae stop making a scene!' Yesung holds me to prevent me from falling.
'I have to see her Yeye, I need to go to her. She'll listen to me right? I know she loves me.'
'This may not be a good time Hae, it's already late, she may be sleeping already.' Eunhyuk tried to reasoned out.
'I'll just call her. I want to talk to her.'
'Hyung!' Kyuhyun tried to stop me but I already have my phone speed dialled to her.

Ring
Ring
Ring

'Hello, who's this.'

'Babe, it's me. I still love you. I love you baby. I love you so much. Please believe me.'

She was silent on the other line. And then the line got disconnected. And I feel my heart break for the nth time.

"So I dialled her number and confessed to her. I'm still in love but all I heard was nothing, nothing, nothing.."

'Let's go Hae, I'll take you home now.' Eunhyuk said, now pulling me to his car.
'I'm fine Hyuk, you can go. Just leave me alone.'
'But Hae....'
'I said go Hyuk, please?...'

*****

I'm parked outside her apartment. Her room light is still open. I'm contemplating about coming at her door or just watching her from here. I know she will understand if I'll explain to her everything. If I tell her the things I've wanted to say and the things she wanted to hear. I saw her room gets dark so I decided on the latter and just drove home.

*****

"Oh sometimes love's intoxicating
Oh you're coming down, you're hands are shaking
When you realized there's no one waiting.."

I am now in my apartment, which didnt help me relax at all. Every part of it shouts her name - the couch where we cuddle while watching her favorite movies, the kitchen where she tried cooking for me, the bedroom that's covered with lots of pink and our pictures, the bathroom with all her stuffs and scent. The silence of it all was mocking me as I can't help but recall that night when my life came crushing down.

--- Flashback --

The past few weeks had been hectic due to our recent activities. I just finished all my schedules for the day when I received a call from Jiyeon begging me to meet her coz of some problems at work. She had been a close friend and more like a baby sister for some time so I agreed to meet her. Dara doesnt really like her but to me its just friendship. I texted Dara about it and told her to just meet me at home for dinner. I meet Jiyeon at a cafe and she started crying telling me her problems with her co-models and some directors. I can relate to her being in the industry and started giving advices. We just talked and talked and I didn't realized it was almost 10pm. I just looked at my phone and saw all her missed calls and messages. I immediately called her.

'Baby I'm sorry I didn't notice the time. I'm already on my way home.'
'You still with her?'
'Yes baby, I'll just drop her by the station.'
'You know how I feel about her right?'
'I know babe but..'
'Forget it Hae. Its always like this when it comes to her. I'm tired of it. This is too much.' and she hangs up. I apologize and left Jiyeon then drove the fastest that I can to our apartment - only to be met by silence.

'Baby? Baby? I'm home.'

No answer.

'Dara? Babe?'

I went to the kitchen and saw the dinner she prepared for the two of us - along with the cake that's already been crushed into pieces but I can still make out the writing.
"Happy Anniversary Baby!"

How can I forget? Of all days?

I immediately went to our bedroom to find it empty. And all her things gone.

--- End of Flashback ---

I started crying and crying, like I've always been for the last couple of weeks.

'Dara, Dara...'

"I wanted words but all I heard was nothing..
She said nothing, nothing, nothing.."

A/N:

Thank you for reading! :) I know it's kinda sad but I just want to let it out there coz that song really gives me the feels. Sorry for any grammars, typos etc but I hope you like it! I'm thinking of doing one-shots based on some songs that's been bugging me lately but I'm still trying to get more inspiration. Thinking of doing requests too! Let me know what you think :) xoxo.