“Ryo-chan, don’t cry, onegai….” Chinen holds Yamada cheek between his hands. He caressed and wiped the tears.

“Sorry yuri, it’s just.. I’m too happy. Finally I found you.” Yamada put and caress Chinen’s lips with his finger. “You know, 2 months is like hell when you’re disappeared.”

“Gomen…I just, I think you’re still love her. I don’t want to be your burden.”  And now, tears fell from Chinen’s eyes.

“Shhh, honey, don’t cry, it’s me who should apologize. Sorry for make you misunderstand. I promised you, she just my past. You are the present and future for me. Comeback with me, kay? Please…I don’t want to separate from you again.” He hugs Chinen and whisper in his ear.

Chinen could only nod and reply to hug Yamada. He missed Yamada a lot. During this 2 month, Chinen always thinks if his decision is right or not. He left the other without telling anything. He just leaves a piece of paper in their apartment. He doesn’t give the older chance to explain. 

For 2 months he tried to forget his lover, but useless, the cubby cheek boy always appeared in his dreams and disturbing his sleep. Chinen could do was cry and cry. And suddenly there he is, appeared in front of him and beg him to forgive his deed.

One month before Chinen leave, Yamada ex-girlfriend came and ruined their relationship. She is Yamada childhood friend, and they became couple for 8 years before break up.

People says, first love is never be forgotten. Chinen think Yamada still love her, and beside, person who decided to break up is her when she found another boyfriend. During the Yamada depressed days, it’s always Chinen who encouraging him. He take care the older, hug him when he cried, and listen to his story. One day, Yamada ask him to be his lover. Chinen knows that he is like substitute for Yamada, coz the older never say ‘I love you’ to him. It’s always Chinen who told ‘I love you’ to Yamada. But he doesn’t mind. He thinks time will make the cubby cheek boy loves him. And without realizing, one year has passed without Yamada told him the sentence.    

Therefore, when Seina (Yamada ex-girlfriend) come, Chinen became so scared. He scared that Yamada will break up with him and back to her. Yamada slowly but sure pulled away from him. He always comes home late, and Chinen saw many massages from Seina. Well, that’s can’t be categorized by cheating, because Yamada always ask permission from him. He said that Seina still his best friend, and she needs him because she just broke up with her new boyfriend. But, Chinen still feels insecure. And the worst thing is finally come.

### FLASHBACK ###

That day, Seina call him and want to meet up in her apartment. Chinen was actually hesitant to see her. He was frightened by what she would say. But Chinen also wants to know what happened.Seina welcomed him and seated in the tidy and fairly wide room.

“Did you come alone?" She asked.

"Yeah, I thought you told me to come alone and do not need to invite Ryo-chan?" I frowned.

"Yeah, I'm just not sure you'll keep your promise. Well, since you're here, I want to talk.”

Seina sit beside me and took both my hands. "Please Chinen kun, I want you broke up with Ryosuke. You can no longer together." She looked at me directly.

Chinen surprised. 'What is this?' He thought. Chinen pulled his hands and stand up. "What do you mean? Why are you suddenly asking me to break up with him? Are you two has made up?" Chinen shouted. His eyes were red with anger. He didn’t believe Ryosuke cheating him.

"No, we don’t make up. He didn’t want to break up with you." Seina sighed. 

"But we still love each other, Chinen kun. This is my fault, I was too quick to take decisions. 8 years is not a short time. I'm too used with Ryosuke's presence, so I think my love for him has faded. But that's not true! I just realized after we broke up. I can’t live without him. Ryosuke told me you're too nice to him. He could not ask for break from you, because it will make him feel very guilty. Because of that, please, let him go. You two can’t be kept together, because he doesn’t love you. "

That words pierced Chinen’s heart. This was what Chinen feared. Sure enough, Yamada had never loved him, he just felt sorry for him. Chinen thought his love is not enough for both of them. But Chinen don’t want to give up. They've been together for 1 year. Although it can’t be compared with the 8-year relationship earlier between Seina and Yamada.

"I don’t believe you. Ryo-chan loves me, he was always caring and kind to me. We were happy before you came and ruined everything." Chinen hands trembling, he fought back tears that would fall into his cheek.
"Oh yes, if so, whether he ever told you he loves you? Because he always told me that when we were dating." Seina smirked.

Chinen speechless. Yamada never said that to him. Chinen squeezes his chest, suddenly felt sick. He felt difficulty in breathing.

Seina regard Chinen’s silence as an answer. "It's what I thought. He just needed an escape when dating with you. And after that he felt guilty to you and he doesn’t have the heart to break up with you. I do not know what's in his brain at the time, but when talking about you, he always talking about how good and concern is you without ever tell me that he loves you."

Again, that words make Chinen’s chest pain increased. He sat back on the couch, and bowed his head. Seina knelt in front of him and holding his hand.

"Please, let Ryosuke free. He won’t be happy if you continue this relationship. You love him, right, Chinen kun? So you definitely don’t want to see him suffer. "

"Even so, he also not loves you too." Chinen looked up and looked at Seina. "You've really hurt him when you guys split up. As long as he still wanted me beside him, I would not leave."

"Fine then. What if I could prove that Ryosuke still love me? Do you want to leave? "Seina stand.

Again, he considers Chinen's silence as an answer. After that he took her handphone and contact Ryosuke.

"Moshi-Moshi Ryosuke. Ano .. can you come to my apartment? I want talked to you about something important. Hai .... I'm waiting. Bye .." She closed her phone and talk to Chinen.

"You'll see, he always granted my request. Every time I ask him, he always comes and never refuse my request. "

Chinen could not deny. Even when they're dating, Yamada always go when Seina called. Yamada always said it was an emergency and asked Chinen to allow him to go. Chinen always allowed and give him his sweet smile. After Ryosuke gone, Chinen cried. He know that Seina is always more important than him.

"Soon Ryosuke come. Maybe you want to hide. Better in the near of entrance. I'll leave the door open so you can get out whenever you want. Take it easy, I won’t let Ryosuke seeing you." She pointed out the room near the entrance.

Chinen walk into the room. There he waited. His heart skipped a beat, he was afraid of what Yamada says. He afraid what if Seina is correct.

Not long after, Yamada came and greeted Seina. She pulled Yamada into the apartment, away from the hiding place of Chinen, but Chinen still be able to clearly hear their conversation.

"What is it Sei-chan? I tell you, better not be too often called me. I don’t want to make Yuri sad. I don’t like see him cry." Yamada's voice heard clearly in the Chinen’s ears. He smiled. Yamada really care about him. Chinen almost out of the room when he heard Seina’s. He thought better of it.

"But you know I can’t Ryosuke. I still love you, I can’t let you go again. First, it was my fault that broke up with you. I'm very sorry, Ryosuke. Please, we still loved each other. I'm sure you still love me." Seina voice sounded pitiful and almost cried. Chinen doesn’t care anymore. He wants to end all of this and take Yamada away from her. Chinen out of the room and approached both of them. Yamada was sitting turned away, meanwhile Seina sit in front of him. But before Chinen approached them, Yamada’s answers make him stop moving.

"Of course I still love you ... Sei-chan." Before Yamada finish his words, Seina kiss him on the lips. Her eyes looking towards Chinen's with victory while Chinen still shock. Chinen who saw it immediately turned and run away from that place. He run and run, not caring surroundings. His vision blurred by tears that kept flowing from his eyes.

Without realizing he was already in front of their apartment. All of this is useless, Ryosuke really still love Seina. Chinen has taken a decision, he would leave Yamada so they both can make up. Chinen loved him too much. Chinen only want Ryosuke to happy, even though Chinen therefore have to suffer with the part of it. Chinen packed all his belongings, write a letter and left the apartment for good.

### End of Flashback ###

And now they were sitting on the couch at Chinen’s home in the village. Yamada’s head leaning on his lap while Chinen the older hair.

"Ne, Ryo-chan, where did you know this place? I never told you about my family or my grandfather who lived here." Chinen looked to Yamada who busy playing with his hands.

"Yes, for 3 years I've known you, two years of a friend and a lover for one year, you never tell me anything about your life. It took 10 detectives and 2 months to find you here." He frowned and looked at Chinen.

"Well, you never asked." Chinen giggle. Suddenly he paused. "What about Seina? Did she let you go looking for me? Wouldn’t you two have made up?” Chinen confused.

Yamada suddenly wake up and sit beside him. "That's exactly what I want to know. What does Seina do to all of this? Why in your letter you said you wanted us both make up and be happy together? How can you draw conclusions like that?" Yamada hold tight the little shoulder.

"Uh, Do you still love her? I heard you ... ...." Chinen suddenly silent. He was not sure whether it's better told him everything or not.

"Tell me!" Yamada holds his cheeks and forcing Chinen to looks his eye." What do you mean? When you hear that I still love her?"

Chinen’s heart still hurts every time he remembers the incident. Without he realize, a tear fell down his cheek. "That afternoon, the day of my departure, when you come into her place, I was there. I hear you say you still love her and kissed her." He began to sobs.

"Oh honey," Yamada kissed his cheek to wipe tears that already falling. "So therefore you go?  Honey, why don’t you stay longer? Seina is the one who kissed me, and I really had the silence of shock, but after that I just pushed her."

"But you said you still love her! I couldn’t have heard wrong." Chinen brushed Yamada’s hand from his cheek and turned away.

Yamada forced his back in his cheeks and looked into his eyes. "Yeah, I did say it." Chinen glared at him. "But, just as a friend. You didn’t hear the rest. After pushing her, I said that I just love her as a friend. My love to her had already lost because I love my squirrel." He smiled and wink to Chinen.

"But you don’t love me. You just feel sorry for me. You never returned my love. You didn’t say 'I love you' to me." Again, Chinen began to sobs.

"Yes, I admit, it was my fault. I was too afraid to you, I'm afraid the words of my love will tie you up and it drove you away from me. You know my relationship with Seina. She's the only love of my life before you came." Yamada hold Chinen’s hand. "Eight years is not a short time. In fact, I've loved her since we were child and only a friend. For eight years, every day I always said I loved her. But all was useless, right?" Yamada smiled bitterly. "She's still left and choose someone else. I swear I will no longer love someone. Those feelings will only make me suffer. But you are different. You loved me and always show it. I admit I don’t love you when I asked you to be my lover, but I always like you. Because of that, I don’t know when the feeling changed. I guess I’m selfish and think if it's just affection. When I realized it, it was too late. Suddenly you're left with the reasons which I think is no sense, and made me suffer." Yamada closed his eyes. 

Chinen could see the agony on his face. His heart ached to think that his decision was only made his lover more suffer. He touched and kissed the older cheek.

"Gomen .... Ryo-chan." He caress Yamada's cheek. Yamada open his eyes and smile weakly.

"But I can’t give up. With you, I don’t want to give up. I must found you, ask for an explanation, even if necessary I will force you to come back to me. I can’t lose you Yuri, not before I say that I love you so much." Yamada peck the squirrel’s lips.

“I love you too my Ryo-chan.” Chinen smile widely.

Yamada leaned over the smaller and give him a long, sweet, passionate kiss. They smiled each other.

 X O X O X O

Well, what do you think? *worried*. Let me hiding first.. *run*

I hope this fic doesn't fail....ahhh...this is the first time i write fic..*embarassed*

Thanks for reading this fic...*bows

Sorry for wrong grammar and any mistakes..... enjoy....XD