a collection of words shim changmin  never told her

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i. hello.

He wanted to greet her. 

Sometimes when he caught the sight of her from the corner of his eyes, Changmin wanted to jump from the place where he stood and ran to her side. Like that day after Linear Algebra class when she walked away with her circle of friends. Or like that day when she sat in the cafeteria, surrounded by laughter and loud chatter.

She was always such a bright presence even without trying to be one. She just standing there, and people would automatically come to her, offering their greetings and friendly smiles. She would reply them with an equally bright smile and cheerful tune. Even for him who's always trapped in the shadow, watching her from afar strangely made him lighter.  

ii. beautiful.

Pretty was never enough to describe her.

Long black hair flowing like a curtain of silk, sun-kissed skin, lips daubed in pale pink. Her eyes were big; dark in colour, long eyelashes under perfect groomed eyebrows.

She was beautiful. Even he thought beautiful wasn't enough. She was otherworldly, one of a kind. It was not just her appearance for him, but also her down-to-earth personality. One day some of her friends were involved in some kind of fight, and it was her who acted as peacemaker. The other day when a girl got bullied, she was the first one to befriend her. Then some other day, she volunteered to help two classmates who're struggling with their study. She always did everything she can to help others, yet she stayed humble. That was what made her beautiful, all and whole.

iii. tomorrow.

See you tomorrow. He would whisper to himself.

His routine of sending her off from the hallway of department building at the end of each day was a silent one. He would stand far from the front door, making sure the distance between them left him unnoticed by her. He would lean his body against the stairs railing, his eyes would tail her until her slender figure vanished from his field of vision. 

One day, he thought. One day I'll walk to her and say it.

iv. dreams.

He dreamed of her a lot.

It would be a big lie if he said he didn't have any lewd dreams about her. But it wasn't always that kind of dream. His dreams about her mostly were fragments of a meaningless chronicle. Her face was there, with her radiant smile. He didn't care whether it had some kind of meaning or not, he just wanted to see her. It never got anywhere near boring, even when he saw her every day at the campus, seeing her in his dreams made him beyond happy.

v. name

Hey, Sooyoung. 

The first time he called her name was back at the freshmen orientation. 

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