Jinyoung looks at his plate. Looks but not really seeing. Just like how he is listening without really understanding much of anything his boyfriend, Jaebum, is saying. He could understand a bit of what his boyfriend is saying, probably about their plans after dinner. A movie most likely, following that a stroll along the riverside. That has always been their tradition on date nights. Jinyoung cooks their special meal, Jaebum plans the night ahead. Some days, the plans would be different. Jaebum’s way of spicing things up but he doesn’t do it often. He knows that Jinyoung is the kind of person that is comfortable with routines.     

Which is precisely why Jinyoung is feeling so conflicted right now. His routine might…could change in the future.

A few weeks ago his boyfriend told him what should have been exciting news. And Jinyoung did try to be excited, kind of did and still am for his boyfriend. I mean, he got the job of his dreams at the company of his dreams. What’s not to be happy about? Jinyoung should be jumping in joy, sharing the happiness but…he just can’t. Not genuinely. 

Jinyoung was just putting in the chicken into the oil when he feels a pair of strong arms snake its’ way around his waist. Turning his head, he is faced with his boyfriend who is currently trying to blind him with his bright teeth. 

“What are you so happy about?” asked Jinyoung, responding with a smile of his own.

“What do you mean?” replied Jaebum, shrugging his shoulders like he doesn’t obviously have something exciting to tell.

“I mean, you look like you just won the lottery or something,” said Jinyoung turning back to check on the chicken. As much as he loves looking at his boyfriend’s handsome face, he really doesn’t want to burn his chicken. Again.

“I did win the lottery,” whispered Jaebum in his ears, giving him some really good feelings, “…you.”

Jinyoung couldn’t help the snort and laughter that comes out from him. Hearing his boyfriend’s offended gasp makes him laugh even louder. I mean, not that he doesn’t appreciate the compliment but seriously, he felt greasy just hearing it.

“Yah, I compliment you and you laugh?” growled Jaebum playfully, arms tightening around his waist. Before he knew it, he was raised off his feet and twirled around the kitchen.  “I’ll teach you to laugh when I’m trying to be nice,” said Jaebum as he put him down, only to try and tickle him.

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” gasped Jinyoung from the floor, only managing to hold on to his sanity.

“Say that I’m romantic,” demanded Jaebum, his fingers continuing his assault on Jinyoung’s side.

“You’re greasy!” shouted Jinyoung instead, feeling adventurous.

“You’re really asking for it,” growled Jaebum before doubling his effort. Tried as he might, Jinyoung knew he couldn’t hold out for long, especially when Jaebum managed to find that particular point near his ribs that are really ticklish. After that, all bets were off. His laughter rips from his mouth and rings around the apartment.

“Okay! Okay!” gasped Jinyoung in between laughs, “I give! I give!”

“Say it!” shouts Jaebum, also laughing now. It’s not often he gets to see Jinyoung this wrecked, forgetting to be the perfect person he seems to think he has to be.

“You’re romantic! You’re romantic! You’re the most romantic guy in the world!” shouts Jinyoung, unable to take the tickling torture much further.

“You’re damn right I am,” said Jaebum, satisfied with the words. Gasping for breath, Jinyoung looks up at his boyfriend. He didn’t think it was possible after that horribly undeserving tickling but he feels his face heats up even further. Jaebum is staring at him like he was the most precious thing in the world.

“What?” asked Jinyoung, closing his eyes, unable to face the intense stare much longer.

Instead of an answer, he feels Jaebum leans over and kiss him softly on the lips. Honey. Jaebum always taste like honey.

“Is something burning?”  

Oh .

“So, what do you think?” asked Jaebum, effectively pulling him out of his thoughts.

“What? Yeah, okay,” said Jinyoung absently.

“Are you alright?” asked Jaebum, concern evident in his voice. Jinyoung isn’t sure if he looks concern too since he can’t bring himself to look up. He can’t let Jaebum know something is wrong.

“I’m fine. Sorry, just distracted,” mumbled Jinyoung, taking a bite.

“It’s not me is it?” joked Jaebum.

How was he supposed to answer that? When the answer is…yes?

“I can’t believe you made me burn the chicken,” mumbled Jinyoung angrily. Stabbing at the steak in front of him, he muttered more things that aren’t really appropriate in public. Especially in such a fancy restaurant like this.

“I’m sorry alright. I really am,” apologised Jaebum again, “It wasn’t like I planned it or anything.”

Giving him a death glare, Jinyoung continues to stab at the innocent meat in front of him. My fried chicken would have tasted so much better. If only SOMEONE didn’t make him burn them.

He heard a sigh from Jaebum before a hand stopped his brutal assault on the steak.  Glaring at the owner, Jinyoung lets out a sigh of his own when he sees Jaebum’s face. He could never stay mad for long at him. Especially when he pulls that puppy dog eyes and pout act.

“Fine, but you better not think that a lousy dinner is enough to get you off the hook,” mumbled Jinyoung grudgingly.

“Of course not,” replied Jaebum, a little too happily for Jinyoung’s taste.    

It was midway through their walk along the river, hands intertwined, that Jinyoung remembered what let to ‘the burnt chicken incident’.

“So, why were you so happy earlier?” asked Jinyoung in between at his ice cream cone.

“What?” asked Jaebum, nursing an ice cream of his own.

“When you came home, you were sporting a smile the size of the sun. What’s up?” clarified Jinyoung, glancing to his right just in time to see the same smile return to Jaebum’s face.

“Oh, that. It’s nothing really,” shrugged Jaebum.

“Tell me. If it’s nothing then you can tell me right?” asked Jinyoung again, this time putting a little aegyo in. Jaebum’s not the only one that could use a pout effectively.

 “Alright,” said Jaebum with a little chuckle before leaning in to kiss the pout away, “If you’re so curious I’ll tell you.”

Jinyoung just gives a chuckle of his own before meeting Jaebum’s lips halfway.

“You know the interview for that job at the law firm?” said Jaebum, excitement trickling into his voice.

“Wang and associates? That genius Jackson’s company right?” asked Jinyoung even though he is sure of the answer. His boyfriend had been so excited at the prospect of actually working there that he spoke of nothing else the whole week.  

“Yeah, that one,” confirmed Jaebum, nodding his head, “You know how I’ve always wanted to work there?”

“Duh, you practically worship that Jackson guy,” teased Jinyoung. He knows that Jaebum doesn’t like to be called out on his weird little man crush on the hot shot lawyer Jackson Wang. Having listened to Jaebum practically gushed on what a genius that man is and all his accomplishment, Jinyoung can’t help but tease every time the subject came out.

“I do not,” denied Jaebum, giving Jinyoung and offended look.

“Yes you do” teased Jinyoung in a sing song voice.

“I don’t worship him,” mumbled Jaebum, “Respect maybe…”

“Yeah, you’re right. Obsessively following him on every social site is more like stalking,” pondered Jinyoung loudly, trying hard to sound serious.

 “Jinyoung…” whined Jaebum exasperatedly, cheeks red in embarrassment.

“Sorry, continue,” relented Jinyoung with a giggle, giving his boyfriend a peck on the cheek as an apology.

“You are so lucky I love you,” said Jaebum with a tired shake of his head, “Well, I got a call from them today.”

“And?” prodded Jinyoung, eager to hear the news.

“They want to hire me,” said Jaebum, trying to sound as nonchalant even though Jinyoung could see he was anything but.

“Are you serious? Oh my god, that’s great! Congratulations!” screamed Jinyoung excitedly, quickly stopping and hugging his boyfriend. He knew he was drawing attention but screw it! His boyfriend just landed the job of his dream! He has the right to be excited if he wants too.

“Thank you babe,” said Jaebum, tightening the hug.

“I’m so happy for you! No wonder you were so happy! I’m so proud of you!” said Jinyoung, pulling back to look his now grinning boyfriend in the face.

“Yeah…” muttered Jaebum shyly. He looks so adorable that Jinyoung couldn’t help but give him a long kiss. When he pulled back, Jaebum face is practically shining with happiness. Unlike at home where he practically turns into a cuddle monster, Jinyoung doesn’t really show his affection much in public. So having him actually hug and kiss in such a public venue is a testament on how happy he is for Jaebum.

“So, when do you start?” asked Jinyoung, still pressed against Jaebum, both reluctant to let each other go at the moment.  

“In about two months,” answered Jaebum.

“Two months? Why would it take so long?” asked Jinyoung. He might not work in the corporate world, being a personal vocal tutor, but don’t you usually start work the next day? Or at least the next week?

“They’re giving us time to take care of things here before we move,” answered Jaebum cheerfully.

“What? Move? I thought the office is in the city?” asked Jinyoung. He gave Jaebum a confused look as he stepped back a little.

“What? Oh, no. That’s his brother’s. Mr. Wang wants me at his office in Hong Kong,” answered Jaebum, still oblivious to the conflict slowly making its way through Jinyoung’s face. 

“Hong…Hong Kong?” stammered Jinyoung, not believing his ears. Hong Kong? As in the out of Seoul Hong Kong? Out of Korea?

“Yeah…” answered Jaebum, moving his hands from their previous position on Jinyoung’s back to land lightly on his waist.

“So, you’re moving to Hong Kong?” asked Jinyoung in a small voice, slightly afraid of the answer. He tried to move further away but he hands on his waist tightens, not letting him go any further.   

“Uh…Well…I was thinking that WE would move to Hong Kong?” answered Jaebum softly, voice a little unsure, eyes searching for something in Jinyoung’s, as if he is afraid of the answer too.

“We?” repeated Jinyoung, still hung up on the fact that…Hong Kong?

“Yeah. You and me. We. You didn’t think I wanted to go alone right?” confirmed Jaebum, a small smile on his face. Jinyoung is sure that it’s meant to be reassuring but in his state right now, he doesn’t really feel reassured.

“Hong Kong?” whispered Jinyoung. He wants me to move to Hong Kong with him? Leave Seoul? His family? Leave everything and follow him? His faced must have shown something because Jaebum quickly pulled him into a tight hug and starts talking fast.

“I mean, if you want to of course. I know you love Seoul a lot. So I’m not pressuring you or anything. We could totally make the long distance relationship thing work,” reassured Jaebum quickly.

“Long distance…” repeated Jinyoung softly. Long distance never works. He had seen it with his little brother Yugyeom and his ex-boyfriend from Thailand. He had seen it when his parents divorced after his dad took a job abroad. Long distance relationship never survives.  

“It’s just that…it would really mean a lot if you would go with me,” whispered Jaebum into his ears, voice pleading for him to consider it.

“…”

“Jinyoung? Babe? At least think about it?”

“…Okay…”

And think about it he did. Still do.

Could he just…go? Leave what he had here and follow Jaebum into an unknown future?

Leave his job? Well, he got paid well here for his lessons. But it’s not something that he couldn’t continue in Hong Kong. The language might be a barrier. He isn’t as fluent in Mandarin or English as Jaebum is (he could possibly pass as a native speaker) but he could polish up on that. Those extra language classes they took during their university years had to have meant something.

Leave his family? Ever since he got into university, Yugyeom has practically become his own man. He doesn’t have to worry about him. Last he heard, his little brother has found love with a boy from Mokpo, a rising soccer star of the university. His mother? Well, he definitely doesn’t have to worry about her. That woman could survive anything life throws at her. She would probably tell him to join Jaebum just so she could have a reason to go to Hong Kong. In fact, she would probably call him an idiot for even thinking otherwise, seeing as Jaebum is such a catch.

Leave his home? Looking around the dining room, Jinyoung think about all the memories the place held. All the things it has been witness to, good and bad. Could he just up and leave such a place? But most of all, could he leave his routine behind? His routine is constant. It’s safe.

Consistency. Is that what’s holding him back?

What is consistency anyway? He wakes up by 7, have breakfast ready by 7.30, goes through his schedule for the day and made sure dinner is ready by 7. Even on the weekends, it’s the same routine. He plans every step. He makes sure everything is as it should be. Makes sure everything goes step by step. People call him predictable, boring but he likes the routine. Because if everything is planned and accounted for, then nothing could surprise him. Nothing would change.  

But thinking back, he has gone through changes before and came out unscathed. When his parents divorced, he survived that. When he had to move out of his hometown to go to university, he came out fine. When he decided to move to Seoul and follow his dream of becoming a vocal tutor, he managed it well. He handled all those big changes well, what’s the difference now?

Looking at Jaebum, who is still talking, he realised something. Nothing has changed at all. When his parents divorced, Jaebum was at his side back then as a best friend. When he had to move out to university, Jaebum had followed along even though Jinyoung was sure that he got a scholarship offer to one of the top universities in South Korea. When he moved to Seoul, Jaebum who had become his boyfriend had followed along. All those changes in his life, he was only able to make it because he had Jaebum at his side.

Thinking more deeply, his routines were also based on Jaebum. He woke up at 7 so he could make sure Jaebum was awake. He made sure breakfast and dinner were ready on time so that Jaebum won’t miss a meal. He realised that he had cancelled his schedules more than once whenever Jaebum was involved.

It’s Jaebum. It has always been Jaebum. Jaebum is his constant.

“You know, you haven’t been paying attention to what I said have you?” said Jaebum, a little irritated, “If you did, you would have realised that I called you a dickhead several times already. I know…”

“Yes,” interrupted Jinyoung suddenly, sitting up straight, eyes staring so intensely into Jaebum’s that his boyfriend had to swallow a few times before talking. 

“Uh…You know I didn’t mean that though right? I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. You are definitely NOT a dickhead. You are the most…” said Jaebum, both hands raised as if to ward off an attack.

“What? No. Not that. I mean yes,” said Jinyoung, quickly cutting off the other, hands waving in the air.

“Yes?” said Jaebum, voice rising slightly in confusion.

“Yes,” repeats Jinyoung.

“Yes?” parrots back Jaebum, head cocked to the side slightly, giving Jinyoung a confused puppy look.

“Yes!” confirms Jinyoung, slightly exasperated that he had to say yes so many times.       

“I don’t understand…” said Jaebum slowly.   

Sighing loudly, Jinyoung gets up on his feet and walk towards his very confused and slightly terrified boyfriend. Holding his head in both his hands, Jinyoung gives him a very thorough kiss, hoping that his emotions could be conveyed that way. When he finally ends it (he needs to breathe after all), he could see that it didn’t because although his boyfriend looks quite happy at the sudden make out session, he still looks very confused.

“I still don’t understand,” said Jaebum, slightly breathless.

“I’m saying yes to Hong Kong,” explained Jinyoung slowly, “I’m saying yes.”

 It must be beginning to make sense because a genuine smile is slowly forming on Jaebum’s lips. “You’re saying yes to Hong Kong?” he asked again, as if not believing his ears.

“Yes,” said Jinyoung, a smile of his own forming, “I’ll always say yes to you.”

Because no matter what happens. No matter where he goes. If Jaebum is there, he’ll be fine. Because Jaebum is his constant.