It had taken Hyunjung a while to get used to the city, but going back to Songtan and the countryside, she felt a comfortableness which she didn’t have back in Seoul. Her parents greeted her with plenty of hugs and kisses once she had arrived, and Hyunjung had clung onto them for so long, because it had been so long since the last time she was under their warmth, and she wanted to make the most of it.

The third day she had been there, her brother had arrived from the airport to come home for Christmas from university. “So how’s Japan?” their dad asked when they were all at the table eating lunch. Hyunlim paused from stabbing his fork into a piece of meat, looking up in mock thought as they waited. Hyunjung spooned some rice into , and she caught a glint in his eye.

“Very clean,” he finally replied, scanning over their faces one by one, and obviously pleased by their silence.

Hyunjung tried not to laugh. “But that doesn’t thoroughly answer dad’s question though,” and she looked across at her mom who had her eyes down, chopping at her food with a small smile.

“What do you mean? Of course it does,” Hyunlim replied amusedly. “Oh, but you said thoroughly. But dad didn’t say he wanted a thorough answer, did he?”

“Yeah, but—but—uh…”

“So Hyunjung, who’s this Jeon Jungkook uncle Hyunwoo was talking to me about over the phone last week? Means something to you?” The chinking of cutlery against plates ceased, and Hyunjung didn’t even need to check that her parents were staring at her. She narrowed her eyes at Lim, a look which sent a blatant message: I will get you for that later.

“Hyunjung…” her dad said, “is there something you’re not telling us?”

“Yeah, is there?” Hyunlim teased, even though Hyunjung knew that he knew already.

“Jungkook is my classmate.”

Lim leaned forward on his elbows. “Just your classmate?”

“No.” She thought for a while; Jungkook was more than that, so much more than that. And she finally faced their anticipating stares – she still knew how to answer this question. “He’s a very important person to me.” They stared at her as she dragged the meat around her plate with the tines of her fork.

Lim was only a little disappointed that he didn’t get the answer he was expecting out of her, but he considered her answer adequate enough, and self-explanatory. He grinned over at her before he resumed eating.

Their dad was still surprised at her answer, but he eventually smiled, and patted his daughter on the back. “Soa, didn’t you notice how prettier our little girl is now?” No, no I’m not, far from it, Hyunjung wanted to say, and she hesitated, then looking up at her mother, who was smiling – and only had her eyes on Hyunjung, and Hyunjung didn’t know why, but she sensed that her mom knew what she was thinking, and when it came to mothers and their children, sometimes a spoken conversation wasn’t necessary to understand the other. Mothers and their children often are oblivious to it, and they often disagree with each other, often think they are too different, but they have a connection which they are bound to their mother even before birth—a connection unique to any relationship they have with others as the child grows up.

You’re beautiful.

I’m really not.

Whatever your opinion – in our eyes, you are. You really are.

“Lim, can we watch something else?”

He straightened and reached for the remote on the table in front of him. “Sure, what do you want to watch?”

“Anything.”

Lim looked over at Hyunjung and she saw the corners of his lips playing. “Last time I checked there isn’t a programme called ‘Anything’.”

 “You know what I meant!”

“You’re not being specific.”

Hyunjung’s features gathered into a knot in the centre of her face, and she then inhaled, and then exhaled slowly. “You choose,” she grumbled, and heard him laugh afterwards.

Hyunlim was the typical older brother; he would , trick her, purposely pick an argument with her, embarrass her, steal her food, kick her on the backside or tap her on the shoulder when she wasn’t looking and then blame it on someone else, but he was probably one of the most intelligent and strangest people Hyunjung knew.

One time—before Lim had gone to Japan, and before she moved to the city—Hyunjung had been in her room and was diligently studying, when Lim swung the door open and barged into her room wearing a green bucket hat (which he looked ridiculous in), thick sunglasses with mustard-yellow rims (which he also looked ridiculous in), while waving a rubber chicken in the air and cried, “MEIN LIEBLINGSESSEN IST HÄHNCHEN MIT NUDELN! ICH MEINE, DASS HÄHNCHEN DAS SCHMACKHAFTESTE ESSEN DER WELT IST!”, and had then stared at her with the most serious and deadpanned expression she had ever seen on him, and exited her room as if nothing happened. Hyunjung didn’t and still didn’t know what it meant, but he had looked proud while saying it.  

And Hyunjung remembered when she was nine and the family travelled to Busan and had gone to the beach in the summer, and she had been swimming, very contentedly (even if she did accidentally swallow some sea-water and a little sand, she hardly cared at that age), while Hyunlim was watching her while their parents had gone to get them ice-cream. He was reading a book, and he had called out to her casually; “Did you know you’re swimming in cephalopod and other organism ordure?”

Nine-year-old Hyunjung had never heard such words before—she had wondered if they were even words at all, but Lim had noticed her confused and bewildered expression, and broke it down for her, articulating the vowels of each word: “Fish doo-doo. P—oo—p. C—R—A—” Hyunjung remembered crying and running out of the water to her parents as soon as he had said that.

And then there were countless other times when he would throw her toys out of the window just because he thought it was funny (but he had stopped that once he entered high school, and he had always got her toys back for her anyway).

But despite his antics, Lim, overall, was a good person, and had always looked out for Hyunjung no matter what – whether they had an argument and were giving each other the silent treatment, even if Hyunjung did something which she thought she wouldn’t be forgiven for – it didn’t matter, Lim would always be there, and he would always listen, and Hyunjung couldn’t have been more thankful.

Lim had long already left to help their dad clean out the garden, while Hyunjung remained in the living-room, and her mom had joined her later on, and they watched TV together. Even though her mom barely spoke, Hyunjung never felt that she was distant, or felt uncomfortable when they would be in the same room and she wouldn’t say anything, because there were some people who could communicate what they wanted to convey so clearly without using words. Sora was a loving mother, did all the things a mother did, and did them well. But that didn’t mean she didn’t speak at all, she did, but she usually only did when she was only with one person, but it made Hyunjung wonder what type of conversations she had with other people.

“How’s school over there? When your uncle told us you made some friends, it made your dad and I really happy.”

Hyunjung smiled. “It’s been great, and all my friends are great people.”

“What are their names?”

“Taehyung, Namjoon, Jin, Hoseok, Jimin, Shinae, and Yoongi.” She paused. “And there’s someone called Eunsook, but I’m not sure if she considers me as one. I hope so, but I don’t know.”

“That’s a lot of friends you have,” Sora said, and then propped one elbow on the arm of the couch, resting the side of her head onto her palm, looking right at her as her faint lips pulled into a narrow smile. “And Jungkook is your special someone?” 

Hyunjung suddenly straightened. “Ac-Actually, all my friends are special to me—but yes—I guess you could say he is,” and as she said the last bit, she could see her mom’s smile stretched. That question probably wasn’t even necessary, because even Hyunjung knew her mom knew – there was very little she could hide from her anyway.

“Tell me about him,” her mom asked, her smile remaining. “What kind of person is he? Quiet like you?”

“Not really, he’s actually a really open and easy-going person. He pretty much gets along with everyone.”

“I see, but he treats you well?”

“Of course.”

“I’m glad.” They sat in silence for a few moments, and Sora stared into space, murmuring, “Jeon Jungkook…” Hyunjung blinked, and Soa finally looked up, her eyes meeting hers. “There was someone with the same name in the newspaper recently, featuring in the school sports’ section? It’s probably not him, but I thought I saw his name somewhere.”

Hyunjung’s face warmed. “It probably is.”

She leaned forward in surprise. “Wow, really? He was the one in the centre and had a really nice smile,” she said with a small laugh, “it’s definitely a charming point of his, but he sort of reminded me of a little rabbit.”

“Yeah… that’s him.”

Soa was delighted. “You got yourself a handsome one, Yunnie!”

“Ma!” she whined, squirming in her seat, which made Sora laugh.

“Wouldn’t have mattered if he wasn’t, but you know, it’s a bonus. The important thing is who he is as an individual. Jungkook is a good person as I can tell, but not everyone’s faultless. Though you don’t need someone perfect to be happy.” Soa changed the topic once she noticed Hyunjung’s silence, and how she had shifted in her seat—not really from fear for what could happen in the future, but from how true her statement was. “How about your other friends? Anyone you’re particularly close to than the others? Like a best friend?”

“Ah yes!” Hyunjung nodded eagerly. “I guess I’m pretty close to Taehyung. He’s a little moody sometimes, and negative, but he’s also a good person. But people tend to prejudge him and think he’s rude, but I think he’s just pitilessly honest.”

Soa thought for a while. “Do you remember that child you used to play with? Back when we lived in Daegu?”

“Yeah, I do.”

“His name was also Taehyung.”

Hyunjung’s brows lifted, mildly surprised. “Really? But it can’t be the same one, that Taehyung is too different to my Taehyung.”

“True, a lot of people have that name. But if he was, what a great coincidence that would be.” She paused, until she suddenly chuckled to herself, and Hyunjung wondered at what. Sora turned to her, her face thoughtful and her eyes gentle. “I remember when you were younger, and you and Taehyung were at the park, while me and his mother were watching you. He had climbed up a tree and was asking you to come up with him, but you were too afraid, but he somehow managed to persuade you in the end. But when you did, you ended up falling from the tree. I remember you cried, shouting, ‘Ma! It really hurts! My foot is bleeding, my foot is bleeding!’” Soa smiled at the ground recalling the memory. “You were so small back then.” Hyunjung only smiled at the floor as Sora continued, “And now you’re almost grown up.”

Hyunjung reached over to wrap her arms around her. “We all grow up, Ma.”

“I know, but watching your children grow up is both the happiest and saddest thing.”

Before marrying, Soa had been insecure with herself if she were to be a parent. Growing up with five younger siblings, and having to assist her mother in looking after them; including feeding, bathing, changing diapers, and putting them to sleep (which was the hardest art), on top of doing well in her schoolwork, it was tiring. Her own mother and relatives even commented that Soa was practically a second mother to her siblings, and felt she didn’t have enough time for herself, and after graduating university and getting herself a stable job, Soa just wanted to spend her life in on her own, and not go through the hardships and sacrifices of being a parent.

But she did not expect anything of what was going to come at her. And regardless of the sleepless nights and constant worrying, your children become your reward—watching them grow up into the people they become, and it is hard at first, especially when they are young and almost impossible to control—but your life will reward you back. Soa—who once refused even thinking the idea of becoming a parent—regretted nothing. Her children were the joy and blessings of her life.

—

The last time Taehyung last saw Hyunjung before she went to her parents’, he had taken his childhood photo albums with him to his room, and spent the majority of his night looking through them. He couldn’t believe it, or did he not want to believe it? At first he had been in denial, the odds were unlikely – less than that; close to impossible. But the longer he looked at the little girl with the pink cheeks, wide smile with a gap at the front where a tooth would have been, and the crinkled eyes, the more he saw someone else with pink cheeks whenever she got nervous, and crescent eyes when she smiled.

But the coincidence was too incredible. Perhaps he was mistaken, maybe she had a relative; cousin, second-cousin, a relative she didn’t know about, a doppelganger, perhaps her second-cousin’s sister’s second-cousin? But the more he moulded, stretched, substituted, rearranged, manipulated the story, the further and further it drifted from a likelihood that was even more unlikely than the original coincidence itself.

Some things we find easy to accept, mainly because we have proof, evidence. Take the Big Bang theory as an example; we don’t know if it’s true, but because of evidence, it is a widely accepted theory, and many people believe it. Evolution? Although controversial, is also a widely accepted theory. Science is just theory upon theory upon theory—logical theories which have been proven.

But in some cases there are things which we accept but we don’t have evidence for it, but yet why do we still believe it? For example, x = x; x will always equal x, but we don’t know that, it hasn’t been proven. So why do we still believe x is equal to x? Well, it’s logical.

The number zero – zero is nothing, zero is zero.

Zero apples: you have no apples.

Zero chance: it means your chances are impossible.

But we say the number zero exists, and we apply them in our mathematics, but how can nothingness exist? Nothingness surely must be un-existing, then how can zero still exist if it is, literally, nothing?

But when the equations, the axioms are explained, they seem to make sense, they seem logical enough, don’t they?

But this was different, to Taehyung this coincidence didn’t make sense. It wasn’t science, it wasn’t mathematics, it wasn’t logical.

But since when were coincidences logical? And they weren’t random either, they were unlikely likelihoods – mere chances out of a bigger number, examples would be; Taehyung seeing his mother again in the streets, Jungkook actually being a merciless assassin working for the government of Saudi Arabia, Jimin being a runaway from the circus, or winning the lottery—the point was, they were chances – a juxtaposition of the non-random and (but at the same time) illogical.

But it was no use denying it; it was her, and when Taehyung finally, unequivocally, accepted that, he shut the photo albums, went downstairs, put them back into their original places, and went back upstairs, brushed his teeth, went to his room, changed his clothes, turned off the lights, tucked himself into bed, and then, finally, forced himself to close his eyes to sleep, and eventually, he did.