He liked watching her.

It was creepy, he even admitted that to himself, but he liked watching her.

He liked looking at the back of her head during bio, counting the strands of dark hair that always seemed so beautifully soft and smooth. He liked watching her walk down the hall, her binder tucked underneath her arm and her eyes downcast, her lips set into a little secretive grin. He liked looking at her during lunch, when she sat by herself and at those apples, the ones that were so perfect in shape and size and color that they couldn't have been real apples, but then again, she, herself, was so perfect in shape and size and color that she could have easily been a figment of his own imagination. 

He questioned it daily, how no one besides himself had noticed her. How could such a beautiful creature walk the halls without even a head turning? How could she smile, that smile that somehow reminded him of a warm day, a day that included a soft blanket and a picknet basket, how could she possibly smile that smile and have not a single person gasp or be brought to tears?

Was it just him? Was he dreaming all of her perfection up? Was she even real?

Sometimes he asked himself why he was so attracted to her. Sure, she was pretty, anyone could see that. But what made her stand out so much to him? He had seen super models, and idols, and everything in between, and yet this girl, this ordinary, everyday girl had captured his heart.

Maybe it was her glow.

Siwon denied ever seeing it. He had asked his friend multiple times, even pointed out the general outline of it, but Siwon never saw it. 

He was the only one who could see it. No one else could see that little halo of light she had around her. No one else saw the way the room would light up when she entered it, how he could see clearly only when she was near. When she wasn't around, it was like he was in the dark, going through the motions of a normal day, never exactly seeing or hearing or feeling anything. Had he lived the first portion of his life as blind as he was without her? Was he a blind man believing he could see?

There were so many questions. And they all centered around her.

He concluded that he would never confess. It wasn't that he was nervous around her, no, it was the exact opposite. The only time he was ever relaxed was when he knew she was there, when he knew if he really needed to, he could look over and see that beautiful face, see the shape of her neck through the dark curtain of her hair. No, nerves, the kind you got around a childish crush, or your boyfriend/girlfriend, those were never present. He could never confess because, honestly, there was nothing to confess.

He was in love with her. He tried his hardest to make it painfully obvious, but truth be told, he was shy for the most popular guy at school. He couldn't confess because everyday he did, because everytime he leaned forward and tapped her shoulder and gave her the homework from the night before to pass up, he was confessing his love for her. He confessed his love in his every movement. He confessed his love with every single breath he let out. He was constantly confessing his love, over and over, but she just didn't notice.

She was the spinster of the quilt that would eventually become his future. He knew he would never be able to let her go. Even if she disappeared off the face of the Earth, even if he got married to a beautiful woman and had beautiful children, he would never, ever, ever let her go. Not because he wanted to hold onto her forever, but because if he did, if he let go, he would be turning the light off in his own life. He'd be erasing the color that she had brought to his tiny, unimportant world. The color that seemed to completely pass by her, unnoticed by everyone, except him.

He realized that she had brought back the hope he had lost, the hope that had been out of him by his attempt to conform to what was called "normal". She was different. She was different because she didn't try to be different. She was quiet, like the wind, pushing and pulling and shaping the sands of his life. She didn't mean to. She was not even concious of what she was doing. It was just what she did naturally.

He was confused by her. She was like a piece of white silk. Simple to the touch and to the eye. She was simple. So very uncomplicated and easy going that he was bewildered as to how a person could be made of so many complicated yet beautiful components, and still be as understandable as she was.

If he closed his eyes tightly enough, he could see her smile, he could picture her as she was everyday during first period. If he could just keep that image in his head, he'd be content forever.

His thoughts were always on her. She was the one thing that never changed when his mind was racing a million miles per hour. 

Like it was right at that moment.

"Hello," he looks up, not expecting anyone to notice him. He is not in the mood to talk to anyone, really. But he knows that voice, and he can't help but glance up and suddenly gasp at her beauty.

"Hello," he responds in a hushed tone. They are in the library and he can't speak too loudly because if he does he might just get kicked out and lose his chance at having a conversation with her. A real conversation.

"May I sit with you?" she speaks like someone that belongs in old day England, not Korea. He doesn't mind, he loves that about her. He loves everything about her.

"Sure," is all he can manage to say. He doesn't want to push his luck. He just wants to be able to see for a short while.

They sit in silence, and he notices that she is perfectly happy with this. He adds that to the list of things he loves about her.

"People say that soulmates are meant to find each other," she says in her old English way, "do you believe that?"

"Sure, I guess," he mutters, although he wishes he could say more. He wishes he could talk to her and talk to her and just be able to listen to her voice for hours and hours.

"I believe in soulmates," she admits, and it feels like a confession. It feels like she is saying that she loves him back. 

"Oh."

She smiles and stands up, and walks away, but before she leaves, she glances over her shoulder and smiles, but this smile is different than all the others. He knows now that she loves him too. 

He watches her. He likes watching her, that's for sure. He watches as she walks away. He watches as with each step, she spins his destiny, his future, his everything.

She is his spinner.

And he loves her for that.