One fine day, Lindsay was walking with her One Direction poster. They were having a romantic date. But when she was about to kiss it, someone snatched it away from her. ‘Hey! Give that back to me!’ Lindsay screamed, her voice with full of anger. The robber ran away so fast that she thought it was a ninja. She almost forgot that she was a sorceress and that she could do about anything in her life. Right about when she raised her wand, she got hit by a bus. (the big red bus and one direction was driving it)

~A few months later~

She woke up, realizing that she has just woken up from a coma. She turned to get the flower from the vase but when she glanced at her skin, she realized that she was growing bumps. She wasn’t shocked at all. She was so happy because she knew that if you had bumps in your skin you could fly. She was so excited to fly. She started taking flying courses online. She passed her online test and begun the rituals.’ohhm bama bama obama’ she chanted, while raising her hands and legs in different positions. People were laughing hysterically at her because they all thought that she was crazy. ‘Why are you people laughing?! Im just getting ready to reach my dreams!’ she hissed at the people. ‘Get out of the street you loco!’ the man with the rainbow-colored beard yelled. ‘No wa-‘ she wasn’t able to continue because she got hit by the big red bus and Obama was driving it.

“Oh crap! I’m so sorry little girl!” Obama rushed outside the car to help poor Lindsay. What Obama didn’t know is that Lindsay was a sorceress and that nothing could hurt her. This was Lindsay’s secret and it was yet to be known by Obama. “It’s okay Mr. Obama.” Lindsay replied, dusting her wrinkled skirt.

“Oh, please. Call me B-dog.” Obama helped Lindsay stand and when their hands touched, a spark ignited and Obama felt as if he was in the middle of eating a pepperoni pizza.

“B-dog for bitc-“ Lindsay started saying but Obama cut her off.

“No. B-dog is for Barack-Dog.” Lindsay blushes and her eyes twinkles. She didn’t say anything but her eyes did the flirting for her. Obama smiles at her and she blushes more. They both flirt with their eyes for five minutes but Obama had to go because he had a meeting with the king of Mars.

“I’m very sorry we met at such an unfortunate incident.” Obama says. “It’s unfortunate but I sure as hell don’t regret it.” Lindsay replies and winks at the (feeling cool) president. This time, it was Obama’s turn to blush. “Will you two please stop hitting on each other it’s gross.” Will Smith says. Obama nods like a true president and walks away. “I hope we’ll meet each other soon!” Lindsay shouts as Obama walks away.

Goodbye, my sweet b-dog. Lindsay whispers.

~THE NEXT DAY~

It was reblogging all of the b-dog’s tumblr gifs/photos/posts/nudes that made Lindsay realize that she was infact inlove with the president. Lindsay had been debating the whole day and now, she truly knew the answer. But she was afraid to tell Obama about her feelings. The b-dog’s reputation might be ruined because of their forbidden love. She didn’t want the b-dog’s presidential career to be ruined. She did what she had to do and stuffed all of her feelings in her heart’s closet of doom. It was hard to do, but she had to do it.

“LINDSAYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!1111111 COME DOWN HERE YOU LITTLE GANKY PRUTESCENT SKANGER!” her mom shouts from downstairs. “What the hell do you want prick?!” she shouts back.

“THE PRESIDENT IS HERE YOU MORON. COME DOWN THIS INSTANCE.” At that very sentence, Lindsay heart stopped. The b-dog was here and she couldn’t run away. Might as well see him right? So off went Lindsay to Obama. She stopped running when she was halfway through her destination so she could calm herself. “Shhhhh. It’s okay Lindsay. He’s here to talk business. Not for you.” She reassures herself then took a really deep breath she almost consumed all the earth’s oxygen. That is what you get for having a crush on the most perfect guy of all, Lindsay. She starts walking coolly like how Justin Bieber does with his swag or whatever and did some swag signs. She entered the room and nodded swaggily at Obama and his goodlooking guard. “Hey.” Obama’s voice was smooth. Just like Elvis Presley’s. “hey. Swag swag on you.” She replied and they both sat down. “Mom. Make us tea. Swag.” She said to her mom and her mom nodded and backflipped to the kitchen. (her mom was asian) “Sooooo.: she says, her voice trailing off.

“Soooooo.” Obama imitates.

“You look nice.”Obama grins. “You too. Swag swag fondue.” Lindsay grins back.

“Ehem.” The b-dog’s security guard removes his glasses and turns to Obama.

That’s when Lindsay saw his face. Oh he’s beautiful face. It was as if his face was the very creation of rainbow colored unicorn manure and chemical x mixed together. It was y, yet cute. It somehow reminded her about Zac Efron. His eyes were the prettiest of him all. It was fanfiction green and had freckles of ocean blue dotted around it. Lindsay was mesmerized and she didn’t realize she was staring until the b-dog cleared his throat. Obama somehow realized that Lindsay was attracted to the Zac Efron look-alike and he was disappointed. “Uh, mam. Why are you staring at me?” the puzzled guard asked her. “I’m sorry Peter. She’s like that when she meets somebody.” Peter. So that’s his name. Lindsay thought.

“Oh. Okay.” Peter chuckles and Lindsay was enthralled even more. Peter smiled at Lindsay and she smiled back. Meanwhile, Obama looked at them like a little puppy who didn’t get a treat after he did 1023528 push-ups.

“STOP!” Obama finally shouted. “I cant handle this! It’s too much!”

“I love you Lindsay! Please. Love me! Don’t love Peter!” Obaman confesses. (obaman is kool I thought of it wow what a genius I am) Lindsay stares in shock at the b-dog. She was happy to hear that but somehow, she didn’t love the b-dog anymore. Her love faded when she met Peter.”I’m sorry b-dog.  I don’t love you anymore. I love Peter.”

Obama broke into a million pieces. He was hurt! He was broken! He did everything to see her! He even missed the international meeting of righteousness for her! And this is how she repays him?! “BUT! I love you! Don’t you remember our memories together? THE EYE ?! THAT WAS BEAUTIFUL!”

“Oh yeah and also that frIGGIN PART WHERE YOU FRIGGIN RAN OVER ME WITH YOUR BUS!!!!!!! YES!!!!! THAT WAS UTTERLY BEAUTIFUL BEYOND WORDS!!!!!!” Lindsay shouts. “I SAID I WAS SORRY!”

“I. don’t. care.” Lindsay’s answer seemed to startle the b-dog. It even startled Lindsay herself.

Obama had no choice but to shoot her. She was a disgrace to the nation. Obama quickly grabbed Peter’s gun.  AND SHOT HER WITHOUT MERCY. PETER AND OBAMA ENDED UP TOGETHER AND THEY ADOPTED A LITTLE GIRL AND NAMED HER LINDSAY SO THEY COULD SHOOT HER WHEN SHE TURNS 16. THE END.