AOM

The pain in my heart gradually became more and more unbearable as I tried to fight back the tears. I tried to open my mouth to speak but a tear threatened to fall from my eyes. I couldn't let him see me like this; we're only best friends. Best friends are not suppose to desire anything outside of the friend zone. So despite the fact that my world is crashing I'll hold it in. I will hide this pain for his sake and give him the support he needs.

 

“...” I couldn't talk still so I just smiled and listen to the good news he was sharing.

 

“I think she's the one. When I'm with her I just can't be cool.” he blushed lightly and his hair shyly. “Aom..”

 

“Mmm..” I forced myself to utter the sound from my lips. A smile still was plastered on my face and I was thankful he couldn't see that it was fake.

 

“You know you're my bestest friend in the world right?” he grabbed a hold of me and hugged me tight before pinching my cheeks. “Could I ask of you a tinie tiny favor.”

 

“How tiny?” I chuckled. That was the magic of Mike. One minute he made me feel like crying then the next melting. His smile was too hard to resist and the hurt I had somewhat faded.

 

“Super microscopic..” he took his thumb and index finger with an added squint to his right eye and made a hand gesture to symbolize how small his favor was.

 

I copied his hand gesture then nodded. “I think this actually might be more like this. “I stretched out both my arms to express how big his favor probably actually was. Which caused him to crack up in stitches.

“You know me well.” he pinched my cheeks again. “I really need you for this though. Can you please find out how Margie feels about me?”

 

An instant stab this time to my lungs and I felt it hard to breathe. I don't want to do this. It hurt enough knowing that Mike was in love with another woman but going to that very woman and asking about her feelings. I dreaded what I would find out. I didn't want to be the person that brought them together.

 

“Aom..will you do it for me?” he made the most adorable puppy dog eyed look ever . The word 'no' was just at the tip of my tongue and I tried to get it to come out .

 

Aom say no.

 

“Pretty please...” he enlarged his eyes more and even added a head tilt.

 

Aom just say no.

 

“I'm going crazy and I haven't been able to sleep. You'll be my freaking knight in pink glittered armor if you do this for me.” he puffed out his cheeks now and even went as far as to get on his knees to beg.

 

Aom...don't fall for his charm..say no for the love of God.

 

“Yes..”

Crap, why do you do this to me?

 

He picked me up in his arms and spun me around then did a little jiggle like a 5 year old who just received some candy.

 

“You're the best. Love you.” he kissed my cheek which caused me to blush. I playfully pushed his face away from my cheeks.

 

“Mike, put me down boy.” I squirmed in his arms. To be honest, I wanted this moment to last. It felt so nice being in his arms and so close to him that I could smell his sweet cologne. I wanted more kisses all for me. Things could have been perfect right now if Margie had not slipped from his lips again. He finally put me down after giving me one more spin.

 

“I need to go to work now. Text me, alright.” he winked before dashing off. He probably was going to be late again as usual. I chuckled as he disappeared from around a corner and finally let my tears flood out.

 

Tears and laughter is what Mike always gave to me. Being a hearthrob, girls always flocked to him but never once did he ever see me as a girl. To him I am like one of the guys, a dude with s and just plain Aom. Oh how I dreamed that he would look at me like how he looked at other girls. It's hopeless now and once again I am playing the love messenger.

 

 

Margie was a coworker of mine at a part-time retail store named Beckies. I decided to make an opportunity to speak to her during our lunch break. My head still hurt from crying last night and I had to wear a ton of make-up to hide my dark circles under my eyes. I approached her with a fake grin on my face.

 

“Hey, Margie.” I waved.

 

“Oh, Aom hey.” she seem pleasantly surprise to see me. “ How are you?”

 

Terrible. I wanted to say that but went with the usual answer.

 

“I'm great and you?” I ask.

 

“I'm good, thanks for asking. So what's up?”

 

“I was wondering if you'd like to go have lunch with me. We hardly talk so I thought we'd bond a bit. Do you mind?” I couldn't help but want to glance at my phone that was vibrating in my pocket. It probably was Mike.

 

“Really? I would love to. Let me go grab my purse.” she replied in a chipper tone then scurried off to get her purse. I checked my phone and found out that I was actually right. Mike had sent me 5 text. I scrolled each one with my finger, hating each and every word.

 

Did you talk to her yet?

Do you think she likes me?

Aom, let me know what happens a.sa.p

I called you why didn't you answer! I need to know what she said!

Have you talked to her yet? What is taking so long?

 

I decided to free him of his misery and text him back. Mike could be so immature sometimes. Did he expect me to not focus on my work and start gossiping with Margie all day?

 

I'm not a slacker like you, Mike. I actually come to work on time and do my job. Anyways I just spoke to her, we are going to lunch together and I'll ask her then, ok. Now stop acting like a teenage girl with a giant crush on the school's popular boy.

 

Aom, are you okay?” I felt a hand on my shoulders and looked up to see the girl of Mike's dreams. She looked concerned and I figure I probably had a nasty look on my face. I quickly smile and chuckled.

 

“Oh, just dealing with a big baby. I'm fine. Let's go.”

 

Then we stepped out of the store and walked to a cafe that was nearby. I was not hungry at all, my appetite was just as dead as my mood right now. I really didn't want to go through this but I know Mike will go insane if I don't. I started out making small conversation with her. We talked about work related things, the latest gossip and lakorns before I finally bought up the big question.

 

“Do you remember Mike?” I asked her while sipping some hot tea. Her eyes lit up at the sound of his name and I knew before she answered that she did.

 

“Of course I do. I wish he still worked at Beckies with us.” she pouted. “I miss Mike.”

 

I hated the way she said his name,Ma-ee-ku . Like it was a little melody or something. I listen as she repeatedly sings his name and hold back the urge to cringe. I remember how they use to give each other long secret glances when they thought no one saw. Mike stolen so many hearts when he worked at Beckies. Sales were at their highest when he was employed and my temper just as high. I was relieved when he found interest elsewhere. Before I even asked her about her feelings it was evidence by the blush on her cheeks that he was in her heart.

 

“Is that a blush I see...hmm?” I poke her cheeks. She chuckled and pushed my finger away.

 

“Aom..can I ask you something?” she caught me by surprise a bit with her sudden question. I nodded for her to go on.

 

“I know you and Mike are really close. “ she paused for a bit biting her lower lip nervously. “I was wondering..are you two d-dating? ” she struggled with the last word.

 

I froze up and I could feel a burning sensation rushing through my body. I open my mouth to respond.

 

“Mike and I..” I looked down at my bowl of soup that I had long neglected. I know what I am suppose to say. I rehearsed this a dozen times but it was just so hard. I know as a best friend I am not suppose to be feeling so jealous like I am right now. This is the moment where I do as I promised Mike and play the love messenger like always. But instead of the right words coming out, a lie slipped out and to be honest I had no feeling of guilt for it.

 

“Yeah..we're dating.” I look back up at her. Her mood did a complete 360,sadness and disappointment clearly killing all her hopes.

 

“Oh...” she half smiled before awkwardly sipping her coffee. Things got quiet for a bit before she spoke again. “You two look good together. I figured you two had to be together...Aom you're so lucky.”

 

'Aom are you crazy what were you thinking? You should fix this right now. Tell her you were lieing.' I scream inside my head but instead I utter out a thanks.

 

After lunch break ended, I rushed away to the bathroom at work. I needed to text Mike. I figured since I lied once..I might as well keep lieing. He'll find another girl...he always does to my dismay.

 

Mike, I found out about her feelings.

What are you waiting for tell me! :)

Sorry, but she doesn't feel the same way. :(

:(

Mike..

Can you come over later?

Sure.

 

I figured he probably wanted me to distract him from his heartache. Another role of mine that I must play, the comforter.

 

 

I smiled as Mike slouched up with me on the couch after popping in a DVD of Supernatural. A show he had become addicted to when he visited the States. There was a ton of snacks all over the table which was shocking to see. Mike is usually a picky eater and health nut but today he had all foods he considered to be the devil opened up for snacking.

 

“I thought you hated potato chips.” I picked up a bag and munched on a chip.

 

“I do.” he stole a chip from the bag I was eating and slipped a few into his mouth. “Absolutely disgusting and greasy.” he stuck out his tongue.

 

“You're so weird.” I laughed.

 

I was a bit relieve seeing him being his usual self but I still knew underneath that smile he was hurting. Mike was really good at hiding his true feelings. Despite how stressful life gets he always keeps smiling. That is what I admire about him.

 

“Aom..watch the TV not me.” he caught me staring and I blushed in embarrassment.

 

“I couldn't help it..that enormous booger in your nose is distracting me.” I .

 

Mike panicked and started sticking his fingers in his nose.

 

“Miiikkeeee ewww.” I screamed. Then Mike reached out his hands towards me after catching on that I told a fib. I freaked out knocking the chips onto the floor. “Don't touch me! I swear you're so nasty!” I threw a pillow at him from a chair nearby at his head. We ran around his house for a while. I threw anything within my grabbing distance.

 

“I'm gonna get you.” he made an attempt to pounce but I slipped away.

 

The house filled with our laughter and sounds of things getting trashed. After our childish little game his house was now a mess and we both passed out onto the floor still laughing and catching our breathes.

 

“Aom...thank you.” he said out of no where. His words warmed my heart and I turned my head to look at him. Our eyes both locked on each other and we both smiled instantly.

 

“No need to thank me. That's what friends are for.” I was glad I could distract him for a while.

 

 

It was our day off and I couldn't wait to check out a new art exhibit that opened up recently. I had been bugging Mike all week about us going there. So here we were walking along the streets as the daylight shun on our skin. We both hide our eyes behind shades, looking like total pop stars. I clung lightly to his arm reading him a brochure about the features there as he navigated us through the crowds of people.

 

“Aom! Mike!” A voice familiar to both of us caused us both to stop in our tracks. “Hey!”

 

I lowered my shades and gasped as I saw the owner of the voice was Margie. My eyes acted like magnets as they move towards the direction of Mike. He had a look of mix emotions on his face as he removed his shades.

 

“Margie, what's up.” he smiled at her. I simply just waved.

 

“Nothing much, just shopping.” she held up some bags from various stores. “What about you two? Are you out on a date?”

 

“No, Aom and I are just friends. We were going to this art thing today.” he responded to her.

 

'Oh please let her not say anything.' I screamed inside my mind.

 

“Friends?” she raised a brow.

 

Crap..she's going to say something..

 

“Aom, I thought you said you and Mike were dating.” she looked as me as well as Mike. I could tell by his expression that he wanted to murder me. In front of her however he still kept his cool instead of going off.

 

“Ah ha ha...Oh I did? Silly me. I was joking around.” I chuckle. “Mike and I are always together and people assume we er...date so I just was playing along ha ha ha.” I felt beyond awkward and worst as Mike awkwardly laughed along with me while giving me a death glare.

 

“You fooled me.” she teasingly hit me. “Aom, you're so mean.”

 

I couldn't handle anymore and made an excuse about having to take a phone call. I quickly pulled out my phone and pretended to talk to someone as I walked away to lean against a wall. To add to my tragedy I could see them both flirting it up. They looked so cute together . Anyone who would had saw them right now would have thought they were a couple going shopping together. I looked away from them because I knew I was going to start crying again. I try to focus on a piece a gum that was stuck to the sidewalk.

 

“That's what I am, a slimy chewed up piece of gum..” I said to myself.

 

“Yeah and I just stepped on you in my new Nikes.” Mike yelled while grabbing onto my arm harshly. I had no idea he had stopped talking to Margie.

 

“Mike, that hurts.” I cried out.

 

“Why would you do that to me?” he questioned me. I could tell the eyes on us were making him uncomfortable so he dragged me to spot that hid us from the public eye. “Answer me..”

 

“Mike..” I didn't want to tell him the truth.It would ruin us.Even though I know he would never love me,I rather us stay as we are then to lose him.

 

“You lied to Margie and to me. Aom, you know how much I liked her. Why would you play a prank like that?”

 

“.....” I looked away but he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.

 

“You call me immature but I would never do that to you.” he just kept going. It was worst then being stabbed and I couldn't hold my tears anymore. The shades that once guarded my eyes had slipped down revealing my ugly face. A face of a liar. The face of a girl who was a green eyed monster. The face of a terrible friend.

 

“I did it...because I love you.”

 

The anger on his face melted away and now he looked at me with great confusion. His grip on me had loosen up and he just stood there like a frozen statue. I took this as an opportunity to flee from him. I didn't want to hear anymore that he had to say. Because I knew that it was over and that blank facial expression was a sign that I crossed the line.

 

Goodbye Mike..