Mark Tuan made one tiny mistake that basically screwed up everything he had.

And that was, looking at someone else that wasn’t his boyfriend. At first, it wasn’t intentional or anything of the like. He just thought of them as someone good looking, someone nice with really, like really persuasive words. However, the more time he spent with them, the more he found himself leaning towards the dangerous temptation. There were far too many occasions it happened that he couldn’t bear to see his boyfriend smiling at him like he was the only one for him. The guilt was too much for him sometimes that he sought refuge from alcoholic beverages and stayed out later than he should have.

The one time he actually gave in to the god forbid temptation, Youngjae caught him in the act and he hated himself ever since then. (He wasn’t really sure why he even gave in the first place because it’s not like his boyfriend was lacking anything. He certainly wasn’t lacking anywhere near the ual department (Mark likes to think his thighs are a blessing) or anywhere else for that fact.) They’ve been together for a little too long now that he knows Youngjae like the back of the hand. All of it; that smile, that confidence, that sassiness he had was all a front.

The truth was that he was really close to crying and Mark hated every bit of himself for that. He was a scum for making his sunshine make that type of face, for making him go through that type of thing… Youngjae actually deserves someone so much better than him. Heck, Mark would even go as far as to say the cutie deserves the world because he actually does. The problem was that Youngjae was his world and now he’s gone, and now he’s not sure of anything at all anymore. He completely cut off ties with the one that caused everything, tried calling his cell phone one hundred times and even asked around his friends if they knew anything about him.

But it was like Youngjae had turned into a ghost.

No one knew anything about him because no one had seen him since the morning of the day it happened. They kept telling him the same thing over and over: that he should ask his best friend, Park Jinyoung. Mark was running out of options but there was no way in Hell that he would ask that person about Youngjae. They didn’t get along exactly and he knew why. The only reason why he didn’t tell the cutie to stay away from him was because they were childhood friends. He couldn’t possibly do that to him…

He was lying down on their used to be shared bed, sighing for the one hundredth time as he rolled around in his bed. Life without Youngjae around was particularly boring, he noted, because the cutie was always b with life everywhere he went. There wasn’t a day that passed that wasn’t boring at all and he smiles, a little bitterly, at a passing memory of the first days they moved in together. The cutie was a mess of nerves, blushing at every skin contact they had and squealing like a girl whenever he sneaked up on him. Mark remembers how Youngjae used to slap him in the arm, pouting adorably and retreating to their room only to comeback like nothing happened. “I forgive you for now.” He used to say to him in a playful matter, but now he wasn’t joking.

Mark was well aware earning his forgiveness would not be easy.

Or trust for that matter. Especially since the cutie already has issues trusting people easily from the beginning. He groaned; his hands on his face, “Why did I do that? Why am I so stupid? Why, why, why, whyyyyyyyy!!!”

It’s not like he was expecting an answer from God or anyone else. He knew the answer well already even if they did manage to answer him (which he seriously wonders how that would happen). Lying down on his bed like this was pessimistic and not good for his mental state so he got up and tried distracting himself. He tried cleaning the apartment a bit and found two or three things that he thought he had lost and a couple of unwanted guests. It wasn’t his first time cleaning but it was his first time cleaning alone. For some reason, Youngjae loved cleaning with him; said it was fun because it also relaxed him and got his mind off things. Mark always wondered what he was always thinking about that he needed to get his mind off things, but he never questioned him about it and instead, let him clean with him. For one thing, it was a lot easier than doing it alone and like Youngjae said, it was a lot more fun doing it with someone else.

However, that day he found that having no company for once was nice. For some reason, not once during his quest to clean the apartment did he think about his worries. He guesses this is what Youngjae meant that time; he was so focused on cleaning that he forgot what was bothering him for a moment. It actually felt liberating for the first time in weeks to not be worrying about something, and surprisingly, he enjoyed cleaning (except of course, when he had to deal with the nasty guests). His legs hurt at the end of the day from squatting too much during cleaning and his arms feel like noodles from how much he used them. His forehead was dripping from sweat and he cringed whenever he wiped some off. A bath was in order now. After catching his breath a moment or two, he gets up and grabs his pajamas and strips his sweaty clothes off. The cold air still bothers him; it just reminds him of how warm Youngjae kept him, and he quickly gets in the bathroom.

He’s in there for a long time. Mark’s not sure of how long he’s been but all he knows is that it’s not enough. Ever since that day, he’s been scrubbing his body twice as hard as he could. He can’t stand the thought of having touched another person other than Youngjae, and he feels as if the water can purify him from his sins. There’s always a moment when he thinks its enough, that he’s washed most away of his sin when he’s instantly reminded of the person underneath him. The guilt is too much that he spends more time in the bathroom than needed. Mark has seriously considered going to the psychiatrist because this isn’t normal behavior, but he never goes because he believes he can get over it. He breathes in unevenly and closes his eyes, washing away everything…

Mark finally opens his eyes as he finally gets out of the shower. He feels light headed and hot for some reason, and he’s not entirely aware that he steps out into his bedroom , looking for his phone. He dials a phone number that he knows by heart and waits for the person to answer his call… and waits… and waits…

And he continues to wait like an idiot until he’s finally re-directed to the voice mail. “Hello, this is Choi Youngjae!” the voice continued. “If I didn’t answer your call, I was probably busy! Leave a message and I’ll call you back later!” A loud beep is heard on the other side and Mark doesn’t debate much whether he should or shouldn’t even be doing this. “Uh, hi. It’s me, Mark. Listen, we really need to talk and I would appreciate it if you would call me back. See ya later.”

A couple of minutes pass when it finally dawns to him that was the first time he’s heard Youngjae’s voice for the first time in weeks. He never realized how much he missed it until that moment and the tears naturally fall on cue.

♦♦♦♦♦♦

Jinyoung was contemplating whether to bother Youngjae. That morning when he woke up, he was surprised to see the cutie sleeping for once. Usually he was up before him and while he was happy about it, he was also very pleasantly surprised to see him with his head on his shoulder. He remembers bits of last night; both of them laughing like there was no tomorrow and pausing the movie whenever they couldn’t stop laughing. He remembers thinking that it was very nice to see Youngjae laughing like he used to and he was once again tempted to take a risk; to kiss him. The thought has crossed so many times through his head that he has to slap himself out of it.

But just maybe, one of these days he has a chance.

It fills him with a glee unlike before, his eyes crinkling at the corner because of how much he’s smiling. It’s starting to hurt a little but he doesn’t care. Jinyoung wants to relish this happiness for as long as possible and he stays still with the cutie still sleeping on his shoulder. When Youngjae sleeps, he’s quiet. He doesn’t make any sounds at all except when he breathes quietly through his mouth. To be able to listen to it, you need to be quiet just like how he was now. His eyelashes also seem longer when his eyes are closed and Jinyoung holds himself back from looking closer than he already was. He brushes a couple of hair strands that fell out of place and gently puts them back where it was, his eyes fond and soft at the sight.

It’s only then that he decides to wake up the latter by shaking him lightly. “Youngjae, wake up.” He whispers. “It’s morning already.”

The cutie was knocked out. On most days, he tells Jinyoung to knock it off and to go bother someone else, or he just grumbles something in his sleep. He never does knock it off except for that day. He stops shaking Youngjae and sighs as he goes to the kitchen. “I’ll let it slide today.” He murmurs as he eyes what he has in his pantry.

When he sees nothing, he checks his refrigerator for some eggs he could make. He takes some of them out, along with some milk and butter. The fry pan is already out but he takes out some of the other things he will need. Jinyoung stops for a moment, trying to see if he forgot something when at that moment he hears the annoying ringtone from the one and only. His peachy mood takes a 180 degree curve, and his face is now impassive as he looks for the source of the disturbance. It doesn’t surprise him when he sees Mark Tuan’s name flashing, but what does piss him off is the fact he’s calling Youngjae again. When he finally answers it, he’s in his room so he doesn’t disturb his best friend from his sleep. “Hello, Youngjae?” Mark Tuan’s voice flows into his ears and he hates it so much that he’s unaware of the anger building up inside of him.

“Youngjae isn’t here.” He replied curtly, trying to refrain himself from starting a fight so early in the morning.

“Wait, what are you doing with his phone?” Mark Tuan sounded confused and maybe a little pissed, but Jinyoung didn’t really care if he was. “Don’t tell me he’s staying over at your house?”

“And what if he is?” He snapped. “It shouldn’t really matter to you because you guys broke up already. Besides, you cheated on him if you forgot.”

There was silence for a moment and Jinyoung wondered if he ended the call. To his surprise, Mark Tuan hadn’t ended the call just yet. “I-It was just one mistake…” he whispered and if he didn’t hate the guy, he would think he was being sincere. “I swear… it was just that one time. I didn’t mean for it to happen…”

He scoffed in disbelief. “*Hablando claro Mark, deja de ser pendejo, y habla con Youngjae. No me estes diciendo estas cosas si ni soy el.”

And he was suddenly very glad he took that Spanish class because Mark didn’t understand what he said at all. With that, he ended the call without hearing what he had to say because he’s had enough of his for one day. He sighed, thinking back to their conversation just now and how Mark Tuan’s voice genuinely sounded apologetic and crushed. It really shouldn’t bother him, but it did because what if there was some truth in his words?

But what if it just another lie?

Another lie to make Youngjae crawl back into his arms. His heart race fastened at the thought and for a moment, he thought it would burst from how fast it was. The possibility enraged him and he couldn’t possibly risk his best friend going back to that rat. While a part of him was worried for his best friend, another part of him was equally selfish of him. It made him feel confused over his own feelings; should he sacrifice his own happiness or go for it anyways?

(He thinks then that maybe that was why Mark Tuan was able to snatch him away from him, because he dwelled too much the pros and the cons, and what would happen afterword.)

He bites his lower lip in thought, not realizing that the cutie had woken up already. There was some noise coming from the kitchen and he briefly wonders if he had left something cooking already. Jinyoung snaps out of his thought when his best friend peeks into the room from the door and smiles adorably at him. “’Morning. Want some eggs?”

“I was actually about to make some for us.” He smiles as he hides Youngjae’s cell phone in his pocket.

Youngjae chuckles, his eyes turning into crescents. “Awesome, telepathy.”

Awesome, indeed.

♦♦♦♦♦♦

Youngjae feels like he’s in high spirits ever since the moment he woke up. He’s not sure whether it has to do with the fact he ignored a certain someone’s call or if it was because of the great time he spent yesterday or if he slept awesome last night. Maybe it was all of that but he decided not to dwell on so much as to the why and instead, focus on the now.

Like how he got the job at the café anyways.

It seriously surprised him because he thought he failed the interview with his vague background, but he’s ecstatic either way. When Jinyoung received the news and told him, he hugged him immediately, happiness bubbling all over inside of him. Youngjae couldn’t help but laugh at loud and tear up a bit at all of the excitement, but his best friend didn’t hold it against him. Instead, he stopped hugging him for a brief moment and looked into his eyes and for a moment, the cutie couldn’t properly breathe because all of the adoration he saw in his best friend’s eyes. “You did well, Youngjae.” Jinyoung said fondly as he ruffled his hair, making it into a mess but he didn’t mind it so much. It made his cheeks feel warm and his stomach all fuzzy so he just nervously chuckled, murmuring a low thank you.

Shortly after that, Youngjae looked into his closet and wondered what he should wear for his first day at work. His best friend explained to him that they had to change into uniforms later, but he figured wearing something appropriately wouldn’t hurt for a first impression. It feels as if it’s almost been a while since he felt this excited to do something, and he wonders for a while when was the last time as he takes time looking at his clothes. The last time, he thinks, was when he was preparing for his late date with a certain nobody, which was maybe a month ago or something. His smile freezes and he looks at the ground for a moment, before he breathes in and out steadily. “You can do this…” he whispers and repeats it to himself for a couple of more times before he hears a knock. He’s aware it’s Jinyoung and he grabs whatever he sees first, and quickly starts to change into some clothing. “Y-Yes?”

“We leave in a couple of minutes so hurry up!” He said.

He looks at himself in the mirror and to his surprise, he didn’t look half bad. Youngjae was wearing a simple button t-shirt with some black, skinny jeans that hugged his thighs perfectly. The cutie grinned, feeling his confidence boosting up as he styled a bit his hair. Once he finally gave himself the okay, he grabbed his bag and made a mental note to return to the university tomorrow. He probably has lots of homework piled up already and while he’s not entirely sure if he’s looking forward of what’s in store to him, he doesn’t mind it so much. The load of work for once seems appealing to him and he’s willing to dedicate as much time as possible to catch up again.

The café wasn’t far. It was farther from the university and his old apartment, but it was close to where they were living at the moment. Youngjae wasn’t as nervous as he was before when he was interviewed, but he certainly couldn’t help but feel awkward with everything. Jinyoung seemed to fit in perfectly with the café with his casualness and friendliness towards his coworkers, and they seemed to be equally as friendly towards him. He walked around in familiarity while the cutie walked behind him with insecurities clouding his mind, his tail practically in between his legs. His new coworkers seemed to be amused by him and a couple of them even offered him a smile, and he returned the smile with a small bow before disappearing from their sight.

If Jinyoung’s noticed his distress, he doesn’t mention of it and instead hands him his new uniform. “Change into this.” he said before turning his back to him and start stripping his clothes off. A new worry is added when Youngjae notices his best friend’s back muscles a little too much and he quickly looks away somewhere, desperately praying for him to have a shirt on again. The cutie gulps nervously as he s his shirt one by one and he takes it off with shaky hands. For some reason, seeing his body like that was different than all the other time he’s seen it and he wonders if it’s because of how hot it suddenly feels in the room. He breathes in and out steadily, trying not to take another peek at Jinyoung’s body, when he finishes dressing up into his uniform. Youngjae is quickly distracted by the knock on the door and he instinctively looks over to see who it was. It was a handsome guy that looked more or less around their age, with sharp eyes and an intense stare that had him squirming a bit. “Oh, JB!” his best friend called, smiling at the stranger. “Next time knock, will you?”

“I did knock though,” This JB person rolls his eyes and gestures to the cutie. “Are you the new employee?”

“Y-Yes!” Youngjae blinked a couple of times before bowing properly. “I’m Choi Youngjae! Nice to meet you!”

“Im Jaebum.” He replied curtly before gesturing him to follow him. “I’ll be the one taking care of you until you learn the ropes.”

The cutie nodded, sparing his best friend a glance and a small wave before he left. Jinyoung gives him two thumbs up with a smile in return.

There was nothing relatively complicated about his job and nothing he hadn’t done before except maybe being a waiter. That was one of the jobs; whoever was a waiter or waitress needed to greet the customers and get their order. It’s not that he couldn’t do it; he was just a little more awkward at interacting with people than the rest were. Thankfully, his specialty lied somewhere else (meaning behind the counter) and he didn’t need to interact so much with the customers unless there was no choice and they talked to him personally. The other job belonged to a kid named Kim Yugyeom and he was the pastry chef on most days. When he wasn’t around, the pastry chef was a girl named Park Choa that was pretty popular among the customers.

The rest of the day went by smoothly without any major slip ups. Youngjae was already used to his job and was making coffee for a couple of customers, while Jinyoung was one of the waiters. It was as if the cutie had worked there from the very beginning because he had no trouble in getting along with the rest. Maybe the introductions were awkward but because they had something in common, it made it easier for both sides and before they knew it, they were chatting and joking around. He no longer felt insecure and like an outsider, and felt comfortable with his surroundings. The café was like his third home after his temporary shared apartment with his best friend (his shared apartment with his ex was still first), and to someone like him, that meant a lot. As he grinded the beans, Youngjae thought back to his dysfunctional house he grew up in when he was younger and smiled bitterly at the memory.

It was strange how the familiar scent of coffee instantly made him think back to the big tree house he used to play in, making secret spy plans to grab a snack without getting noticed. That was back when things were still pretty good; back when his mother loved making some coffee for his nanny and father. He remembers the wind blowing through the trees and him lying down in the tree house for hours, getting lost in his own little world and the hypnotizing smell of coffee. He also remembers the first appearance his best friend made into his life, calling out his name from somewhere and Youngjae peeking out his head from the tree house. He doesn’t remember exactly what their first conversation was like but after that, they hung out in the tree house for hours. Somewhere along the way though, Youngjae found himself hiding in his tree house from the harsh reality and pretended to be okay…

He finally finished up the orders and gave them to Jinyoung so he could take them back, sighing as he waked back into the changing room. His shift was finally over and he was tired, the most tired he’s been in a while, but he doesn’t mind it so much. Instead, he finds some pride in it and happily strips off his uniform so he could leave. It’s suddenly colder than it was a second ago and Youngjae grabs his shirt, just about to put it on when he hears a knock. On a reflex, he quickly puts it on before his best friend comes in smiling. “Wait for me, okay? Let me change quickly.” However, from past experiences, he nods and leaves the room for a moment so that the incident from the morning wouldn’t happen again.

“Oh…” he murmurs quietly as he saw Jaebum on the phone, looking somewhat distressed. It looks like the call isn’t going through, and the male sighs before putting it away and going back to work. Even though they’ve only known each other for a couple of hours, it was weird for him to be like that. All day long, the latter had been nothing but hard working and firm, smiling only once in a while when Jinyoung made a joke. They’re relationship was a curious one and Youngjae would be lying if he said it didn’t make him interested whether there was more to it or not. He was snapped out of his thoughts when he felt an arm around his shoulders and looked up to see a wide grin from his best friend. “Let’s get going, yeah?”

Pink painted his cheeks and he brushed away the latter’s arms away from him, suddenly embarrassed and shy. “L-Let’s get something to eat.” Smooth. “I’m starving.”

“Sure! What do you wanna eat?”

(He thanked the gods Jinyoung didn’t notice his voice cracking slightly, which again was ridiculous because he should be over this. They were best friends for God’s sake…)

♦♦♦♦♦♦

The next few days were relatively peaceful. Youngjae was switching between university and his part time job at the café, and it was stressful up until certain points. For one thing, he leaves the university in between classes because he has the longest break ever. During that break, he does his homework and studies for his other classes in their apartment. His last class of the day was later than the rest so he had to go back to the university to get it over with so then he could finally leave the university and start his shift at the café. The café during the evenings is peaceful and there are hardly any customers so he can relax a little. Not for too long though because Jaebum doesn’t let anyone slack off. After that, he leaves the café with Jinyoung around 7 o’clock and helps his best friend with the cooking. They eat, relax, take a bath and he studies some more before falling asleep around 12 o’clock. Besides that, Youngjae found it pretty peaceful.

There had been the calls that he received from the one that shall not named anymore, but he ignored them successfully (though a little doubtful before doing so). He likes to think that he’s moving on from him, that he’s slowly getting over the whole thing, but the reality of things is much more complicated than that. His heart still aches for him whenever he sees his name flashing on the phone screen, when he unconsciously thinks of him, when he’s moments from falling asleep… It’s like I’m in some sort of rehab, Youngjae thinks one day as he’s writing down something for an assignment with a cup of coffee on the side, because I was clearly too addicted to a certain male and Jinyoung just took pity on me. He quickly snapped out of it when he realized he actually wrote that down on the assignment and groaned because he’ll have to start all over again. He wrote it with sharpie pens. Yes, he could use some liquid paper but it’ll look ugly otherwise.

(He made a mental note to never use sharpie pens when he’s doing an assignment.)

Coffee reminded him of many things and not necessarily all of his memories were pleasant ones. However, as he began writing his assignment again, Youngjae couldn’t help but think back a little when he was still dating a certain male. He remembers the first time they met was over a cup of coffee in a café similar to the one he was working at. He was cramming for an exam he had the next day when he noticed someone had left him a cup of coffee with a note that had a number and a nicely written “good luck”. It made his heart skip a beat because those kinds of things simply didn’t happen to him or at all in real life for that fact. The fact that it did happen though made him curious and intrigued enough to text the person that night. Luckily, the person answered quickly and they texted each other all night, and even though Youngjae had an exam the next day, he didn’t regret not sleeping. After a couple of more texts, they finally met in person and he knew he was in love. It turned out they were going to the same high school and that made everything a whole lot better than it was already. The rest is history.

There’s a smile by the time Youngjae finished his assignment, and it’s a strange thing how there’s warmth all over his chest. His gaze is soft as he looks over his papers, a small smile is gracing his lips and a tint of red painted his cheeks. It’s silent in the apartment; the only things heard were his occasional scribbles and his movements when he moved some papers around. Then there was his erratic heart. It felt like it was going to explode from how fast it was beating, from how happy he was, from how the certain male made him feel all over again. It was ridiculous that a mere memory from like a century ago made him feel like he couldn’t breathe properly. And although he wanted to be angry at himself for being so wishy washy, he just couldn’t. Because the truth is…

It was useless at this point though. Mark (he was gonna stop referring him to “the one that shall not be named anymore” because it’s ridiculous) was probably way over him at this point and was having the time of his life with his lover. If he was having a great time, then why shouldn’t he? He has just as much rights to be happy as he was so what was stopping him from being happy? Youngjae nodded firmly at his thoughts, trying to calm his heart beating, and then stood up abruptly. He walked away from his assignments and grabbed a coat, heading to the door when there was a knock. He stopped on his tracks, surprised by it for a moment before he opens it without hesitating. He really should’ve hesitated because in front of him was the one and only, Mark Tuan.

Mark Tuan was breathing, alive and very much standing in front of him, except it’s not quite how he remembers him. The Mark Tuan he remembers is a much more confident one, his gaze intense and hot, a perfect smile on his face and a much happier one. This Mark Tuan looked like a lost puppy with big uncertain eyes peering into his, his smile nowhere present. He was nervous, Youngjae could tell with the way he looked away from his eyes and looked somewhere else. It was unsettling to see him like this because the resolve he made just a couple of minutes ago was starting to crumble. All he really wanted to do was to take him into his arms and make him forget about everything bad that’s worrying him. He had a couple of issues to solve himself, but Mark Tuan had never been a strong either when it came to strong topics.

They stood there, silence engulfing both males until one of them spoke up. “W-What do you want?” Youngjae stuttered and cursed inwardly for it.

Mark Tuan looked taken back that it was the cutie the one that spoke first, but he swallowed thickly before answering. “I, you, uh…” he struggled over his words and Youngjae would’ve found it endearing if it wasn’t for his heart breaking into pieces. “You wouldn’t answer my calls.”

The cutie didn’t answer and instead opted to continue looking at him as he spoke. This apparently made him more nervous as he avoided looking into his eyes again. “And, uh, I really wanted to talk about what happened t-that day.”

“Look, we both know what happened that day. There’s no need to explain to me how you two started to get it on or anything.” Youngjae growled back, surprised at his own sudden change of attitude and courage. “I was actually going to do something before you appeared so let’s act like this little bump into each other didn’t happen, Okay? Okay.”

He lightly pushed Mark out of the way, closing the door behind him and started to walk away when the other male grabbed him by his wrist. “You’re doing it again.” He murmured quietly, but loud enough for Youngjae to hear him.

“What are you talking about?”

“Not hearing me out.” Anger boiled inside of the cutie as he struggled from trying to get away from Mark’s touch. It was familiar and yet so alien at the same time because he knew he had touched someone else with those hands of his. His touch wouldn’t be the same anymore because it just reminds him of the horrible memory. It sickens him knowing that Mark even had the guts to hold his wrist like this… “Let go of me.” He demanded.

“No. Not until you hear me out.” His hold on his wrist was firm and all of a sudden, his previous nervousness was gone. The Mark Tuan that was holding him back was one that he was used to seeing whenever they fought about something. “I don’t want to.” Youngjae narrowed his eyes at him, a deep frown forming on his lips. He was starting to get tired of this when Mark’s hold on him started to loosen up a bit, his gaze softening and a tiny, almost bittersweet smile on his face now.

“Please.” The funny thing is that it made him stop struggling. Youngjae’s eyes were still narrowed, not out of anger or dislike or anything remotely similar to that, but they were searching for something. He wasn’t entirely sure what he searching for; maybe any traces of dishonesty or a sign of cracking up like this was some big fat prank, but when he saw nothing of that, he figured that maybe he could listen to what he had to say. (He tried to suppress the sudden flame of hope blooming inside of him, by convincing himself that Mark just wanted to say sorry things didn’t work out, that he hopes the best for him…)

When Mark saw that the cutie wasn’t making any signs of struggle anymore, he took this as a sign to keep going. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, mentally preparing himself for whatever outcome this could end with. He ignored the thumping of his heart in his ears and went for it. “Okay, so I know that the last time we met, I was with someone else.” He started off slowly, waiting for Youngjae to encourage him further. The cutie nodded slowly as if unsure where this direction was going to. “But I swear it wasn’t like that. I mean, it happened that one time only. After you saw us like that…” He paused, inhaling and exhaling again. “I couldn’t bring to look at myself at the mirror again. We were friends but I broke off all kinds of connections with them.” He his lips before meeting half way Youngjae’s gaze again. “I guess what I’m trying to say is that… even though all of this happened… I still want to be with you.”

And that was the final emotional straw for Youngjae.

He looked away from his eyes, unable to hide his feelings anymore. His eyes were glossy from all kinds of emotions he was feeling, his mind a mess with thoughts and questions, and his stupid heart wouldn’t keep calm. He was speechless for a moment, lost as to what to say in return, his feelings contradicting one another. “I…” he started to say, surprised at how even and calm his voice sounded even though he was all over the place. “I, I’m sorry, Mark, but if you wanna be with me again, you gotta win me over again. I wanna be with someone that truly loves me, that won’t look away from me even for a second, you know?”

The other male nodded timidly. “I’ll, uh, take that as your giving me another chance?”

“Pretty much, yeah.” Youngjae shrugged a little too casually, smiling a little at him.

Mark smiled widely now, the way he always used to when they were together, easily taking away what’s left of the cutie’s breath. His smile had more damage on him than usual because he hadn’t seen him in a while. It was one of the things that made him so madly in love with him before after all… “You better look out for me then. You’ll be falling in love with me all over again.” He had leaned a little too close than what Youngjae would’ve liked, the flush evident on his face.

“Yeah right…”

And then, he felt it. Soft familiar lips were against his for a fleeting moment and before Youngjae had time to register what happened, Mark escaped, winking at him mischievously. The cutie stood there dumbly, his whole face bright red and his hand going to his lips. There was a red siren going on and off in his head, meaning that he was already screwed before anything else went down. “No. No. What happened to that resolve of moving on? You still have a chance to move on, don’t give up.” 

A/N: SO MANY THINGS WENT DOWN IN THIS CHAPTER LIKE HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN

I swear writing angsty!Mark is so easy for me to do now like it scares me a bit LOL ;;;;;;;;;; but yeah, in this chapter, a lot of things are mentioned like how Mark will forever be traumatized by his own decision. I kinda accidentally took that on a psychological level so I'm sorry about that ;u; did anyone notice the subtle reference to one of my fics Dearly Beloved 

Then there's Jinyoung's & Mark's first confrontation, which by the way this *“Hablando claro Mark, deja de ser pendejo, y habla con Youngjae. No me estes diciendo estas cosas si ni soy el", means stop being a and talk to Youngjae instead of me in rly simple words. :)

More 2young action, then Youngjae trying to move on with his life, some little insight of his past, and them bAM! The final dramatic scene between Youngjae & Mark. Honestly, Idk where this sudden inspiration came from. I continued writing this today, but like out of feeling responsible. Then... Idk I wrote paragraphs after paragraphs and before I knew it, it was the last scene like sjadciweui ahahaha

But anyways, I hope I keep you guys guessing. Jinyoung isn't out of the picture just yet ;)

Feel free to comment, subscribe & upvote! Hope this was worth the wait! :D  

[8/27/15] fixed some typos.