Chapter Three

            I walk into the cafeteria and sigh heavily. I take out my drawings and start working on them. I eat the sandwich I brought and take a sip of hot coffee from the can. I got through the day, but it’s hard to do a lot of things without Yamato and there’s two days to go. I’ve told everyone to type to me on Google; I’m starting to be sad… it’ll get better; at least I have a new phone in my studio where I work on Hongbin’s make-up. I’m deep in concentration till I feel the vibration of the table being banged. I look up and Ken waves at me. ‘Hi,’ I mouth. He points at the seat in front of me and I nod. He takes out his iPad and starts typing. He passes me his iPad:

May I see your drawings?

I nod and pass the drawings to him. He gets his iPad and starts typing:

These are really good. Even if I didn’t see him every day, I’d know this is Hongbin’s face. Do all deaf people have this gift?

I giggle after reading what he typed.

I’m not sure. I always drew, even before I went deaf. I think I got better after I went deaf because I had more time to focus on it. Although, I think that’s just me lol.

So where is Yam-yam?

I hold back my laughter and let myself chuckle.

You mean Yamato? Lol what kind of name is Yam-yam?

We gave it to him as joke and it just stuck lol

I smile at the thought of Yamato enjoying his time here. Then I remembered what he told me before he left. I feel my smile start to go away, so I force it to stay on.

Where is he anyway?

He had a family emergency so he had to go, he’ll be back soon don’t worry.

I smile at him when he looks up from the screen.

You know, it’s refreshing conversing with you without Yam-yam having to be in between.

Really, I thought that he made it easier, since I’m such a burden on everyone.

It is easier than typing, but I don’t think anyone sees you as a burden.

Thank you, I needed to hear that.

Can I ask you a personal question?

Sure, I don’t see why not.

Why do you always have your hair either tied or pinned up? Why don’t you ever let it down?

Well first, my hair is really long and straight so, it gets in my face a lot. Secondly, I feel exposed when I have it down, I don’t know, I just like it up.

You should put it down one day, just so we can all see.

Maybe I will.

Yamato

            I have never seen so many lilac flowers in my life. They were my mom’s favorite, but now I think I really hate them. “Hey Yamato,” I turn around and I see Scarlett’s mother. She gathers me into a hug, “I almost thought you wouldn’t be able to make it.” “I would never miss my mother’s funeral Ms. Thomas.” A tear escapes her eye, “I’m so sorry Yamato, first your father and now your mother…” “It’s okay, I still have siblings and you and Scarlett.” “Where is she anyway? Don’t tell me she blew this off for work,” she asks with anger in her eyes. “No, I didn’t let her come, she’s doing so well that I didn’t want to risk her job,” I say, sighing, I feel her smack the back of my head, “Why would you do that? Mei was her family too; she didn’t just want to come for you!”

            “I know…” I feel tears swelling in my eyes. The organ starts playing and I take the seat between my two older brothers and two younger sisters. “What are you doing here?” Kyoya, my eldest brother asks in Japanese. “You know damn well mother didn’t want you in her life anymore,” Kou, my second eldest brother adds. “If you didn’t want me here, don’t reserve a seat for me,” I hiss calmly. “Can you guys just stop arguing for once? This is mom’s funeral, show some respect,” Sakura, my sixteen year old sister whispers. “Onii-chan doesn’t stoop to their level,” Misaki, my seven year old sister tells me. We all nod and continue with the funeral.

…..

            “I’m going to keep mom’s urn. Sakura and Misaki are going to live in Chicago with Kou,” Kyoya tells us after the funeral. “No we aren’t, before she passed she told us that we were going to live with the person who has her will and I know for a fact you don’t have it. Neither does Kou,” Sakura says angrily. “Do you know who has it?” Kyoya asks impatiently. “No I don’t,” she mutters. “Hey guys! Oh, I’m sorry is this a bad time?” Ms. Thomas asks approaching us. “No, we’re just trying to figure out who has our mother’s will,” I tell her. “Oh, that’s what I was about to tell you guys. I have the will.” “You have the will? Why do you have it? You aren’t even blood,” Kou says angrily. “Your mother knew you would all argue over everything, so she gave it all to me. Everything is detailed in the will,” she says confidently. I smile and head out for some tea next door. I order my tea and sit down next to the window. I pull out my phone and call Scarlett. The interpreter answers the phone. “Hey Scarlett, I’m going to fly back in today.” “Okay, you don’t have to check in with me, I don’t own you,” the interpreter says. Right when I’m about to answer, some kid snatches my phone and starts running.

            ‘Hello? Yamato are you there?’ I sign to the interpreter who stopped speaking and interpreting. ‘Scarlett is that you?’ the interpreter signs. ‘Um, yes, who am I speaking to?’ ‘It’s me, Erick!’ I stand from my chair and cover my mouth. Why does he have Yamato’s phone? Why is he talking to me? ‘Anabel...' ‘No! Do not address me by my middle name, give this phone back to Yamato and don’t ever talk to me again!’ I hang up the phone and sink to the ground. Why was Yamato talking to him? What does he want from me? I shake my head. I refuse to stress over this. Someone slightly taps my shoulder and I turn around to see Leo. I have not spoken to him the whole time I’ve been here. What is he doing here? He takes out his phone and types:

Are you alright?

I’m fine, thank you.

You seem hurt, did you pull a muscle?

No, I’m fine, really.

He stares at me coldly, or with his normal face. I feel my frown twitch into a smile when I think of him dancing and singing.

What’s so funny?

I make a point of clearing my throat and I try humming Voodoo Doll slowly so I don’t sound awful. His eyes open a little and to my surprise, he smiles.

That bad; I see.

That wasn’t bad at all.

I wouldn’t know, but thank you. So, what is it that you came here for?

Hongbin is sick today, he took a day off, so you can go home.

Okay, thank you for telling me.

I gather my things and wait for him to step out before I exit and lock the door. I turn around, smile and bow to him before I turn to walk away. I feel my sweater being grabbed and I instantly turn around to look at Leo. He lets go of me and shows me his phone:

I’ll see you at boxing practice.

I nod and walk away. Once I get home, I decide to stay at a hotel for a week. I don’t want to deal with Yamato right now. I find a hotel that’s a couple streets away from the studio and pack my things. Before I leave, I decide to go for a jog. I put on these very expensive earphones for the deaf, turn the music on and turn it up as loud as if goes. I start jogging in a nearby park, then in sidewalks by a bunch of apartment buildings. I still can’t hear anything through the earphones. Not even the beat. I just want to disappear. What’s the point in being around when you can’t even hear anyone? I don’t have friends around to make me feel better; my best friends are in California and the one who came with me is suddenly close to my ex-boyfriend who used to beat me. He doesn’t know, but he knows enough. I run faster, feeling my heart beat faster, but I still can’t hear. Yamato knows that I hate Erick with all my life; isn’t that enough to keep him away?

            Tears well up in my eyes and I look up to keep them from falling because I know, once they fall, they won’t stop. I look up, but I don’t stop running. I trip and fall to my knees in an alley between some apartments. I keep my head up, my eyes looking at the sky. Don’t cry; I’ve worked so hard to be happy and stay happy. Stay strong, please don’t cry. I feel my knee throbbing and warm liquid gushing out. I start feeling light-headed and the world around me slowly turns dark. I fall to my side with my eyes barely open and I see someone running towards me. When I recognize the face, I smile and I feel a warm wet tear roll down my face before everything becomes black.

………

I feel like I’m sleeping on a cloud, but didn’t I collapse on the floor? Did I die? No, I’m not that lucky. I open my eyes slowly and I’m in an unfamiliar room. All the furniture is nice, but it looks like it doesn’t belong to anybody. I stand from the bed and I see my suitcase empty and all my stuff is in the drawers and the closet. I walk into the bathroom and see the big tub that I wanted earlier. Water in the tub is draining down, does it always do that? I look at myself in the mirror and fix my loose ponytail. I put it on top and make it high. I throw water on my face to relax myself. I look around, but I can’t find a towel so I use the blanket. I look at my leg and I noticed it’s wrapped up neatly. Someone tended to my wound. I walk into the living room and I see my savior. I don’t even have to look at his face to know who it is; I recognize the back of him, like I recognize the back of my hand. He’s shirtless; I’ve put make-up on his torso before.

            He’s shaking his leg and I can see him suddenly jolt, so I know he keeps coughing. He looks worried and nervous. I tap Hongbin’s shoulder lightly and he instantly stands and turns around. I smile lightly and he pulls me into a hug. I’m so shocked, I can feel my face turn red; his shirtless body is touching me oh my goodness. He pulls away and smiles. ‘Thank you,’ I sign to him, referring to him helping me earlier. ‘It wasn’t a problem; I’m sorry I didn’t help you before you fell and injured your knee,’ he signed sadly. I shrugged, ‘It’ll heal, don’t worry.’ I stop in my tracks and look at him with my head cocked to the side, ‘Did you just sign to me? Did you understand what I signed to you?’ He smiled widely, ‘I guess the cat’s out of the bag. I’ve been learning and practicing sign language a week after I met you. I wanted to be able to speak to you and understand you without Yamato’s help, so I learned.’ I’m so happy when he says what he did for me. I reach out my hand to touch his cheek, but then I stop myself. I attempt to put my hand down, but he softly grabs it and puts it on his cheek.

            I feel his cheek hot. I furrow my brows and turn my hand over to feel it better. I go on tippy-toes and touch my forehead to his. ‘You’re burning up, you need to rest. Go put on a shirt and get into bed. I’ll make you some tea and soup,’ I sign to him. He closes his eyes and I think he rolls them behind his eyelids. I make squinty eyes at him and point towards the bedroom. He drags his feet while walking to the bedroom. I boil tea and start cutting vegetables into the soup. I put alphabet noodles and let it boil. I walk into the room and I see Hongbin sitting up with his eyes closed. I slowly walk towards him and kneel on the floor next to him. He’s so good looking; is he even human? I get close to his face and stare at his complexion. Oh man, I look like a creeper just staring at him. I look at his lips and he has fuzz on his bottom lip.

            I reach my hand out and brush my thumb over his lips to take off the fuzz. His lips softly twitch into a smile; I slowly back away thinking he might wake up, but his breathing is still soft and slow. I bring the soup, tea and take out a cooling pad from my backpack. I push his bangs back to the side and put a cooling pad on his head. He furrows his brows and opens his eyes. ‘It’s cold,’ he signs, smiling. I put the blanket on him and put the tray of tea and soup on his lap. ‘Thank you.’ I grab the remote for the TV and offer it to Hongbin, ‘Do you want to watch something?’ He puts his soup down and looks at me seriously, ‘I do, but it’s not on TV.’ I my head in confusion, ‘What do you want to watch?’ He points at the corner of the room and I see the green backpack that Yamato found in the storage a while ago. I swallow hard; I have to tell him what they are so he can understand why I don’t want to see them.

‘Those DVD’s are home videos from when I lived in California. Yamato and I decided to film my daily life after I found out that I would eventually go deaf after losing the hearing in my right ear. They’re all most likely stupid; it’s just me singing and dancing and talking a lot.’ I look away and blink away tears before I turn back to face him. ‘Have you seen the videos since you’ve been deaf?’ ‘No, they have subtitles in English, Korean and Japanese so Yamato and I and our families can watch them. He put Korean subtitles because I’m supposed to be fluent right now. They were meant for me to reflect back, but they just hurt.’ Hongbin holds my hands in both of his and looks at me intensely. ‘Will you please watch them with me? I want to know so much about you, and there’s only so much that you can say through sign language,’ he sincerely looks at me. I want to watch them with him, but I don’t want him to see me cry.

 I look at him and he’s softly biting his bottom lip waiting for my answer in anticipation. I smile because he’s here with me; taking care of me when he’s the one who’s sick, making me smile when I just want to cry and now he wants to know more about me. I think I’m falling for the man in front of my eyes; not once have I felt this way for anyone, not even Erick. I feel myself flush at my thoughts and I look at him and nod softly. He smiles widely and thanks me. I put the first DVD in and sit next to him. I put English and Korean subtitles; I take a deep breath and press play.

DVD 1: 100%

“Scarlett, get in here I got the camera!” Yamato screams. I come down and look at the camera; I’m wearing glasses and I have sticks in my hair. “It’s super kawaii! How did you swing this?” I ask happily. “Remember how Kou had a dream of being into the filming business then Kyoya shot him down?” he reminds me. “Oh yeah, he was sulking for a while because of that,” I mutter, putting on my shoes. “Well he never sold the camcorder so he lent it to me,” Yamato says proudly. “Lent? As in, he wants it back?” “Yeah, just in case one day he grows a pair and decides to oppose Kyoya,” he tells me. I laugh and get vitamin water from the fridge. “Where are you going? I just got the camera!” Yamato says disappointed. “I have to go… talk to Erick,” I say, pressing my lips together looking up. “Oh , you’re going to do it today?” Yamato asks. “Yeah, I mean I’m leaving to South Kore