Rewind.

He was surrounded by people. Friends, teachers, curious classmates peeking over the shoulders of the crowd trying to figure out the commotion. His eyes were smiling as he hugged everyone around him, muttering goodbyes. Some shed tears at the prospect of not being able to see him for who-knows how long, others wished him good luck and asked him to get the numbers of other trainees be it male or female. He laughed, giving a small wink before his eyes met mine.

I offered a grin, forcing my smile to stretch from ear to ear. For his sake. He half-smiled, holding his thumb and pinky to his ear to mimic a phone. At that precise moment, my phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled it out to check the message. Meet me outside the gate, let’s hang out at my place before…you know.

I’m sorry, I can’t make it today. Send.

Before I could watch him read the text, I ran.
I ran with blurry vision towards the exit and I never looked back.

If only…

Rewind. Redo.

I looked up from my phone, capturing his attention and nodded in agreement. I watched as he gave a final wave to the crowd before walking up the stairs towards the exit. Every step I took to follow him felt like I was dragging bricks instead of feet. The crowd gave me small smiles, their eyes filled with pity as they watched me follow Bobby outside. If he didn’t know, they all knew. Their eyes said it all. I couldn’t bear to look at any of them, I stared at the steps in front of me trying my best to avoid the eyes on me.

“Ready to go?”

“Sure.”

——

His place was always the same: empty. I removed my shoes at the entrance and placed them on the rack next to the door. As per usual, he threw his backpack onto the sofa and tossed his snapback in a random direction. I took my seat at the dining table, watching him lay down and toy with his phone. The box of chocolates on the table never seemed to disappear, it was only me eating them every time I visited.

We stayed like that, for a while. Both on our phones, far apart, trying to figure the right words to say. The silence was suffocating but brought upon a sense of comfort; neither of us wanted to address the situation.

“I just wanted to thank you, for everything. Helping me apply, listening to me rap, I don’t think I could have made it without you. You’re the best, Sooji.”

“Anytime, Bobby.”

He got up, walking towards me and finally taking a seat next to me. He set his phone down and gazed at me, with the eyes I hated the most in the world.

“I have to go to the airport in a couple hours, can you stay until then?” His gaze never changed, piercing through mine with such intensity that I had to look down. I checked the phone for the time and shook my head.

“I’m getting picked up soon, I don’t think I can stay.” A sigh escaped his lips. He ran his fingers through his hair before getting up and leaving to his room. It had been an entire year and I had never seen the inside of his room but from the corner of my eye, I could see the suitcase hidden by the side of the door. When he came back out, he had one of his jackets in his hand and extended it out to me.

“Wear this. I’ll walk you out to the gate.”

“Thank you.”

I got up to put on my shoes, he followed suit. We walked in silence towards the gate outside of his apartment. He opened the gate for me, we both stopped in our tracks. I removed the jacket from my body as I saw the car I was waiting for approach.

“Bye, Sooji. Thanks for everything.”

“Bye, Bobby.”

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t say it.

Rewind. Redo.

His place was different, a large suitcase was in the middle of his living room, staring me straight in the face. I removed my shoes at the entrance and placed them on the rack next to the door. As per usual, he threw his backpack onto the sofa and tossed his snapback in a random direction. I watched as he began to lay down on the sofa. Gathering up my courage, I quickly ran to sat on the sofa before he could fully put his feet down. He looked at me, raising an eyebrow and tilting his head.

“My back kind of hurts today.” I lied, pressing my back against the cushion. He moved his legs to sit upward and turned towards me.

“I just wanted to thank you, for everything. Helping me apply, listening to me rap, I don’t think I could have made it without you. You’re the best, Sooji.”

“Anytime, Bobby.”

He set his phone down and gazed at me, with the eyes I loved the most in the world.

“I’m getting picked up soon, I don’t think I can stay.” A sigh escaped his lips. He ran his fingers through his hair before getting up and leaving to his room. It had been an entire year and I had never seen the inside of his room. When he came back out, he had one of his jackets in his hand and extended it out to me.

“Wear this, it’s one of my old jackets. I’ll walk you out to the gate.”

“Thank you.”

I got up to put on my shoes, he followed suit. We walked in silence towards the gate outside of his apartment. He opened the gate for me, we both stopped in our tracks. I contemplated removing the jacket but my heart couldn’t part with it.

“Can I have this? As a keepsake, I don’t know when we’ll be able to see each other again.” I braved, hugging the sweater close to me. He smiled, ruffling the top of my head before pulling me close for a hug. Electricity soared through my body, we had never been this close. I took a deep breath, inhaling his scent and sighed in content.

“I don’t wear it anymore, you can have it.”

“Thank you.”

“Bye, Sooji.”

“Bye, Bobby.”

I gave him one last glance before I turned to walk out the gate. My body couldn’t control itself and I turned back to look at him. He was waiting for me to get in the car. He smiled and waved, I could only pretend I was doing the same. I closed the car door and watched as he went back into his complex. The gate slowly started to close and I could see Bobby’s retreating back walking up the stairs.

I have to tell him.

I have to.

“Wait. I’ll be right back!” Before I could fully register what I was doing, my body was leaving the car and running to slide in between the crack of the gate that was almost closing. I ran up the stairs and through the halls, Bobby had just closed the door to his apartment. I raced to his door and slammed on it with all the energy I had.

“Bobby! Open the door!” My body wasn’t used to any amount of exercise and the simple run up the stairs was catching up to me.

“Sooji? Did you forget something?”

“I love you.”

The moment the words escaped my lips, it felt as if my heart was released from the vice that was Bobby leaving. I stared straight up at him, his eyes enlarged but quickly regained composure. A smile creeped onto his lips as he brought his palm to my cheeks, caressing me with his fingers. Then suddenly, he swiftly removed his hands. He backed up and shook his head, staring at me with pain in his eyes.

“Why are you telling me this now? How am I supposed to leave after this?” He whispered, conflict written all over his face.

“I’m telling you I’m going to wait. I know you’re going to be gone for who knows how long but I honestly don’t care. I’ll wait, Bobby.” The words were just flowing out of my lips at this point, everything I had ever wanted to say since he decided he was going to leave…. I was saying them now. I stilled as his arms came around my waist, pulling me towards him. His lips found the top of my head, pressing hard into my hair. Droplets started to fall onto my scalp causing me to pull away in alarm. He quickly pulled me back into his chest, his chin now on top of my head.

“Let me just stay like this.” He whispered, sniffling as he held me.

Play.

“Goodbye, Bobby.”

“Goodbye, Sooji.”

debating to leave this as a one-shot or to make it into a 3-shot, depends on the feedback so if you guys enjoyed this, make sure to let me know!
I am terrible at updating fanfics but this is the kind of writing I usually do (really short angsty things I guess)