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Lana's hands gripped each other tightly as she let herself be guided by the wind. Though cool, it felt warmer than her. Her, walking barefoot on the dry sand. Her, in a blue green flowing dress which resembled the ocean waves in front of her. Her, anxious as she kept her gaze fixated on the back of a boy in a pair of navy swimming trunks.

And as if he had sensed her, Heechul turned around. But he didn't know that she was there, making her way towards him, so his face wore nothing but astonishment. "Lana," he said at last. "Hey." Simple, just like that.

Lana took one step closer, close enough. She sighed a little. He could have said that she was pretty. She didn't always dress up but this time, she did put in the time and effort just for him. Lana brushed the thought away and stayed focused. "Hi." She managed to smile. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, I'm just looking at the waters." Heechul turned back to the ocean. "So why the beach?"

Right. Lana was the one who suggested that they went to the beach and somehow due to their friends' cancellations, Heechul was here with her alone. It was a perfect opportunity. She heaved in a deep breath. "Doesn't it smell refreshing?" She asked. "I love the beach, thought you might like it too."

Heechul smiled. "I have nothing against it. I can't stay cooped up all the time."

Yes. He was the type to stay at home for days without venturing out unless it was entirely necessary, like school and now work. Lana smiled. She knew too much about him and yet she didn't talk to him much. How did he get onto her so easily? "I love you, Heechul." She blurted without a second thought. When the second thought eventually came, her eyes widened and she turned to look at him. 

Heechul stared at her, the shock was evident in his eyes. The shock made her flinch and Lana turned away. She was scared. She didn't know what to say but she didn't want to deny it. She had kept her feelings locked up for too long. What will he say? But in a good few minutes he had said nothing. Lana slowly shifted her head towards him and slowly saw that he was looking out at the ocean again. 

A surge of annoyance shot through her but her voice remained leveled. "Aren't you going to say anything?" She asked. 

Heechul looked back her way. His stare stayed on her. He was structuring his words before he spoke. And yet, the next words he said was, "I'm sorry." So plain and simple.

So short and sweet and yet, a feeling of pain slowly crept through the every part of the girl. She could sense it, the heaviness in her sinking her to the ground but she tried to stay upright. Her vision of Heechul slowly blurred as pools of warm water began to well in her eyes. No. She told herself. Heechul must not see her like this. Immediately, her two hands covered her two eyes and she twisted 180 degrees from Heechul's view.

Then her body remembered that she had not been breathing. Suddenly, she heaved in an immense amount of air. The fluid in also made its way down and she coughed and spluttered. Her tears fell. Her face was scrunched up from weeping. Her sniffling were louder than she had anticipated. This time, she literally sank to the ground. 

"Lana." Heechul grabbed her for a second but she flinched at that and looked at him with a terrified tearful expression. At that moment, Heechul released her. He was the guy who had let her go, who had hurt her right here, right now. Who was he to do something at this moment? He had no right.

With her head towards the sandy ground, she spoke. "I get it," she croaked, her voice almost monotonous. "Don't need to pity me. I understand, Heechul." And then she shot up and ran off. 

Heechul watched her disappear into the twilight. And then he watched the sky change from an orange tinge to a mellow lilac. He took a few steps towards the water and soaked his skin to his ankles at the very least. He looked down at the water which resembled her dress. "You don't get it, Lana. You don't understand." He spoke to the sea. "I don't know it myself, how I feel."

to be continued...