A/N: We're sorry for the late update. All of us were busy for these past couple weeks. Please do enjoy this update. Thank you~

Taking in a long deep breath, Junghyuk steadied himself in front of the paper door that would lead him to the familiar room—the room he must enter in a few moments, although he wanted nothing but ran away from it right now. Trying to calm himself didn’t work that well, Junghyuk sighed. His heart still sank a bit, knowing the kind of conversation that would take place inside said room—the same conversation between him and his father which would happen whenever the elder had some time to spare. Junghyuk already knew that his father wanted to remind him about his responsibilities, still so important for the old man in the middle of all the his own heavy duties.

Although he was born from a concubine, Junghyuk was still the eldest son of the family. He had to admit he was quite lucky for that, but this situation was also frustrating at the same time. He was lucky because people inside the house still respected him despite his parentage at face value, but it was vexing because the same people also belittled him for not being the ‘true’ son—of course, not in front of him. As per usual, people were always talking behind him.

Still, people in the house could not shove him away from his place because of one reason: his father and his ‘true’ wife had struggled in trying to conceive a child for years, the real successor for the Mun Family.

As much as it was unfortunate for his father, it was a blessing for Junghyuk—because it made him felt that he belonged, that he had some status at least. However, a few years after he was born, his father’s wife finally gave birth, to a boy even. That baby was the only and one true heir to the family name. It was a joyous moment for the Mun House, everybody celebrated the birth of its true successor. Even though he was young at that time, Junghyuk had already understood and accepted that he would not be the heir of his family. He didn’t bear any grudge, nor did he have any ambition to take away any title from his younger step brother. However, the joyous situation didn’t stay for long, because it became apparent to his father and the family that Sunho had a frail body. Ever since he was born, the young heir had always fallen ill every now and then, especially when the weather was changing.

Therefore, with the current situation, it was impossible for Sunho to be Mun family’s successor. Which was why, despite his maternal history, his father still relied and paid more attention to Junghyuk. He was given so many tasks to finish and so much expectation so that he would not disgrace the family’s name—especially with the burden of his status. Since then it was clear for him that he was trained to be the family head. The pressure around the house slowly made the relationship between the father and son to become distant. It was unpleasant, but being on his toes, always reminding himself of his place had become a second nature that stuck on Junghyuk’s every move ever since he was young. No matter what the case was, he was still an offspring who came from a concubine.

Ever since he started learning how to read and write, Junghyuk had realized his tenacity might help him escape from this suffocating life. He had to pass the official exam. He had to become a high-ranked official like his father—for the sake of both his mother and himself. There was no other way to live comfortably without needing to be on their toes all the time—although much later, he came to understand how complicated and tiring the life of a high-ranked official was.

As he grew up, the young master found out that being a government official was out of his character. He was definitely not the type to be an official—he preferred books and nature more than authority and luxurious life. Rather than being in grand banquets, he would choose to indulge his mind on books and poetries, under the shade of the oak tree while listening to the birds’ chirping.

But, it’s not as if he had the leisure to choose what he wanted…

After hesitating for a while, again he let out a deep sigh, fixing his robe to look more presentable in front of his father.

“Father. It’s me, Junghyuk,” standing before the intimidating door, with a low clear voice, he announced his arrival. Holding his breath, he waited for permission from his father to enter the room.

“Come in,” the deep voice that flowed out through the paper door was filled with charisma.

Junghyuk took a deep breath for the last time before sliding the door open quietly and letting himself in. After bowing deeply to his father who had seemingly been reading a stack of official papers before he came, he stood still and lowered his gaze to the floor.

“You can sit down, Junghyuk.”

Only after hearing the permission from his father, he strode towards the older man and sat himself down in front of the reading table, facing his father.

“I have been very busy recently, so I haven’t been able to talk to you. It’s been quite a while since the last time we saw each other. Well, how’s your study going Junghyuk-ah?”

Glancing at his father who sipped the tea after talking, he let out a quiet sigh. As he had expected, they were going to talk about this matter again—about the official exam, about the expectations of his father of him.

“Study is going well, Father. I’m trying my best…”

He knew it was a cliché answer that he always used, but it was not like he had other available choices to reply. It was no wonder, especially when he had lost his interest to take the exam and be an official. He had not stopped reading and studying though—he still did them for enjoyment. The problem was he wanted to postpone taking the exam for as long as possible, although he knew he could not run away from it forever.

“I have no doubt on you trying your best. I know you’re not the type to slack off.”

Raising his eyes to take a short glance at his father, he found out that the elder was staring at him all this time with the trademark calm and steady look in his eyes. Even though he did not have the best relationship with his father, Junghyuk had to admit his father had always had that charismatic aura around him—it was one of the things that he admired from his father since his childhood.

“But, Junghyuk-ah…”

His thoughts were cut off at his father’s words which came along with a sigh. Somehow, he got a feeling of what he was going to say—learning from his previous experiences.

“You’re not that young anymore. You’ve been studying for years and I think you’re ready to take the official exam. Don’t waste your time just on reading books.”

He looked up firmly at his father this time—not just a quick glance he threw from time to time. He had racked his brain for a much better excuse, but in the end he could not manage to come up with anything but the usual one.

“I want to study more, Father. I want to have more confidence that I could make it the first time on this exam. I’d like to ask you for one more year.”

Actually, he did not expect his father to give in easily this time, because he had already declined his father’s suggestion to take the exam for countless times over the years. But to his surprise, the elder man just stared at him for a few long seconds, looking like he was deep in thoughts. Not long after, the elder Mun finally nodded firmly with a soft sigh.

“Well, you’re different from the sons from other families. At the very least, you’re not playing around or wasting time with useless activities. But Junghyuk-ah, studying hard without any concrete action won’t get you the results.“

He took in a deep breath to prepare his mind for his father’s next words—he knew exactly what was coming.

“Next year. You cannot run away anymore. You need to take that exam. Will you promise me?”

                                                                     *****

Junghyuk did not notice that he had been holding his breath all these time until he slid the door to close. He realized that he had to take the exam even though it was not due to his own his desire, but at least he secured a little bit more time for himself.

Tracing his way back to his room, Junghyuk’s steps stopped at the sight of a familiar man who looked like he had just come back from somewhere. Several servants that he recognized from their house were carrying his luggage behind him. After a much better look, he realized who the man was.

Sunho…

Before the older had time to avoid the younger, Sunho had also noticed him and stopped in his track. After staring at each other for a while without any sound, Sunho shifted his eyes along with his legs away from Junghyuk—walking in the opposite direction.

As usual, there was no words, no greetings between them.

Junghyuk was so used to this situation by now, and he thought that it might apply to Sunho as well. It was a very common situation between the half-brothers—especially when one was born from the first and official wife, while the other was born from a lowly concubine.

Sunho was the one who’s supposed to be the heir of Mun’s Family. But due to his weak body he could not concentrate on his study as much as he wanted to. Almost every few weeks his health would deteriorate and he would need to be in bed rest for the next two days or so. Most of the time he would spend time in his room. The other times, he would retreat in the mountain temple where he could get fresh air for his health.

Junghyuk had always thought that their distant relationship was due to their lack of meeting although they lived in the same house. That or maybe Sunho just truly hated him to the core—although he never openly showed any aggression, just coldness. Junghyuk was the eldest son although his mother was a concubine, not to mention he was far stronger and healthier than Sunho and therefore got their father’s attention more than he should have. The older had everything that could make Sunho and his mother, the ‘true’ wife, hate him and he could not really blame them for that. Because if he was in their place instead, he would probably feel the same.

Since the beginning, their fates were entangled in all the wrong ways and it did not seem like it would get better soon. As he trod back to his room, Junghyuk sighed for the umpteenth time, blowing his heavy breath away accompanied by the chill of winter wind.

                                                                         *****

Winter visited the town and the temperature were dropping with every coming day. It had been snowing since yesterday, not too harsh but falling so agonizingly slow instead. It was almost as if the snow was trying to cover the whole city little by little, but also making sure it would pile up on the next day—and sure it succeeded, for the snow had piled up high.

It was a typical morning in the gibang—everything was quiet and calm, opposite to the lively and noisy atmosphere of the night time. The courtyard inside the gibang had been painted with white. Hyesung felt like he was in the middle of a monochrome world as he stood in front of the frozen small pond at the gibang’s grounds. It was a great scenery to admire—he loved that everything was clearly divided, either black or white.

His mood was good as well. He didn’t have any clients to entertain on the previous night, so he had gotten a good night sleep and could even wake up early. He enjoyed spending his time alone once again near this pond, his favorite spot in the gibang, breathing in the crisp air of winter morning.

Looking down at the frozen surface of water in front of him, Hyesung then shifted his eyes to the book in his hand. He gently touched the cover of the book he was holding—the one he had received as a gift from the two young masters just a few days ago. Again, he was reminded of the dark eyes of Young Master Mun.

Why are his eyes so different from others?

Ever since that meeting on the market, Hyesung had often caught himself reminiscing that last smile from the young master—particularly the twinkle in his eyes. It was a brief meeting, barely more than a quarter of an hour, but Hyesung had seen many different expressions from that encounter alone. The fierce and determined look when they were quarrelling while trying to hand over this book to each other, the apologetic look the young master gave because of his best friend’s over-excitement after meeting him, particularly the kind smile at the end...

All of those little moments caused a smile to bloom on the haengsu’s face from time to time. Hyesung wasn’t exactly sure why he felt this way, but his lips spontaneously did it without his conscious permission.

“You woke up early…”

A sweet voice appeared from behind, breaking his pleasant daydream apart. When he turned around to find out who that voice belonged to, he found a girl with an unfamiliar face standing a few steps away from him, smiling so brightly. He had to admit that he was quite flustered seeing her smile because usually there was no one in this gibang who would show a smile like that to him.

“Looks like you still haven’t remembered me well. Of course, I just moved here a few days ago. My name is Seonhwa, nice to meet you.”

Ah! That new kisaeng who was bought from another gibang…

Hyesung felt a little sorry for not immediately recognizing her. He had been introduced to her by Madam Jung when she first arrived here not so long ago, but he never had much interest in his colleagues in the first place. He knew for sure that most of them did not like him and he had the similar sentiment against them in reverse, so Hyesung had never actually paid any attention to any of them. It was peculiar to himself that he could learn the name of all the clients’ who had ever stepped foot into this gibang in no time, but he could only remember a few names out of all the courtesans who lived in the gibang, and he was sure he could count those names only with his fingers.

“Ah, nice to meet you again Seonhwa-ssi. My name is Hyesung,” although he knew it was an unnecessary introduction, he did it anyway.

“I know you of course, Hyesung-ssi. Who doesn’t? No one can miss the beautiful and popular haengsu like you.”

To be honest, this particular kisaeng was too friendly and her words were too sweet for his liking. Maybe he felt this way because cold shoulder treatment from other kisaengs was what he kept getting almost all his life, but he couldn’t help but feel a little suspicious. Hyesung certainly wasn’t used to being treated warmly, not that he would want to get used to it—he didn’t need it either way.

“Thank you, Seonhwa-ssi. You’re very pretty as well. I think you’ll get popular among clients in no time.”

At his words, the girl smiled a little more brightly and lowered her head, probably feeling shy due to his praise.

“Thanks for your kind words Hyesung-ssi. Not only you’re beautiful on the outside, but also in the inside as well.”

Hyesung felt a bit uneasy hearing all those honey-coated words, especially from a girl he barely knew. The haengsu could not guess what was the intention behind all those sweet words—after all, living in this gibang where backstabbing and betrayals happened all the time, he had learnt not to believe anyone so easily. You never knew whether somebody was hiding a blade behind an innocent smile. No one was actually anyone’s friend—friendship was nothing but a convenience. Never fully trust anybody, trust them only when it was necessary and with caution—he made that his motto.

“Oh. Hyesung, here you are. I was on the way to your room.”

Another voice entered their conversation and this time he knew whose voice it was immediately— Madam Jung.

Hyesung immediately bowed—a sign of impeccable manner that was drilled into him. When he looked up, he noticed instantly that the madam of the house was in a good mood.

“Good morning, Madam. Did you have a good sleep last night?”

The latter just smiled faintly as she gave him a soft nod. Hyesung did not miss her small hand gesture at Seonhwa the next second, hinting her to leave them alone. Seonhwa excused herself in no time and walked away, allowing him and Madam Jung to talk in private.

“Is there something you need to talk to me about, Madam?”

He asked calmly because he knew, based on Madam Jung’s expression, there was no way that Madam wanted to deliver some bad news.

“There will be a banquet at the house of the Minister of Taxation the day after tomorrow. They had invited us to accompany the lords. They have specifically demanded you to be there as well.”

No wonder she’s in good mood.

“I understand, Madam. I’ll just have to prepare as usual, won’t I? Or is there something in particular that they ask for?

Madam Jung gave a soft pat on his shoulder before replying his question, “Nothing particular. Just prepare yourself as usual, everything needs to be in perfect state. But knowing you, I don’t need to be worried, do I? Because you’re always perfect, Hyesung-ah…”

Hyesung nodded and weakly smiled at her words, staring blankly beyond the pond in front of him, focusing at nothing.

He had already sacrificed all of his life and dignity to the point that there was nothing left. At the very least, he should be ‘perfect’ at what he had to do—even if he did not want to.