A/N: This is the very first chapter of our brand new fic. As a reminder, this story is not a fluff but not a pure angst too. It is more like a romantic drama. :D We also put meanings of the several terms we have in this story, since the story is written in Joseon Era. You can find the meanings below the chapter. Hope you all enjoy it!

Glancing outside the window of his quarters, he saw the leaves falling down one by one along with the autumn breeze. They were hanging so beautifully on their branches, painting the scenery with their various colors only a few days ago, but now they were lying pitifully on the ground—being swept away here and there by the cruel wind, crushed under the soles of people walking over them without any care.

Hyesung sighed.

Nothing is forever.

He stared into the mirror in front of him, his self-reflection looking back. His fair complexion, his small, delicate and pretty features were going against his male gender. Everyone called him pretty. He was born pretty, not handsome, although he was a man.

It was a curse, rather than a blessing—at least, for him.

He fixed his silk robe—a gift from one of his clients, one of his “Lords”. Dabbing jasmine oil on to his nape, neckline and behind his ears, he glanced at himself once again on the mirror, looking for any imperfection. He must not show any flaw to Lord Kim, whom he would be seeing in a few minutes.

Lord Kim had always been fond of the jasmine scent emanating from his body. He was the only one out of the few lords he had served, who always treated him with a little more kindness and gentleness than the others. Whether he liked it or not, his professionalism would not allow him to show a shabby side nor an imperfect image in front of his clients. Moreover, because it was Lord Kim, he wanted to make himself more presentable and prettier for the other.

Then, he heard the footsteps outside of his room, and a moment later a familiar voice appeared. Madam Jung. The guardian of this gibang*.

“Hyesung-ah, Lord Kim has just arrived.”

Letting out a deep breath for the last time, he replied while giving the final touch to his long black hair.

“I understand. I’m coming…”

*****

“Hyesung-ah… Come and sit here…”

As soon as he saw Hyesung entered through the door, Lord Kim’s face brightened up at once. On his way to the room, he heard from Madam Jung that the lord had seemed to be in a bad mood, which was a rare sight for Lord Kim. That was why Hyesung even gave a rare soft smile when he entered the room, hoping to make his lord feel better. He bowed and sat down gently beside Lord Kim. As soon as he did, an arm fell upon his shoulder, arranging his body to lean on the other.

“Hyesung-ah, you’re so pretty, as always…”

He smiled while pouring out some rice wine for his lord, who was caressing his silky hair so softly.

“I’ve been waiting the whole day to meet you, you know, Hyesung-ah?”

Replying with a faint smile, he handed the cup to the other before carefully touching the charming lines around Lord Kim’s eyes.

“You look tired these days, my Lord. Has something been bothering you?”

Then, without any warning, his hand got captured by the strong grasp of the older. Soft kisses started pouring down all over his soft palm down to his wrist.

“My Hyesung wants to know what’s bothering me? It’s you, Hyesung-ah. I have been so busy lately and I can hardly see you.”

Being used to Lord Kim’s mushy lines, he just drew his hand back—pretending like he hadn’t heard what the other just said. He turned his body toward the table and poured out another cup of rice wine while Lord Kim just whined as usual.

“Hyesung-ah… Look at me.”

He kept on doing what he was doing, ignoring his lord. A few moments later, he felt Lord Kim burying his face in his neck, inhaling Hyesung’s sweet scent like he always liked to do.

“Hmmm… My Hyesung smells so good. You used jasmine oil for me?”

He gave a soft nod while touching Lord Kim’s jaw, letting his slender fingers travelled along his jawline up to his ear. With his long experience in meeting with Lord Kim, he knew exactly where to touch to make the other feel relaxed.

“Hyesung-ah, too bad I can’t spend the night with you tonight. I have to go back...”

“Oh…”

A soft sigh—almost disappointed—escaped from his this lips. It was the first time Lord Kim wasn’t going to stay the night here. He had always spent the night with him whenever he came to their place and Hyesung had thought that today would be the same.

“What? Did my Hyesung get disappointed? Hmmm? I didn’t know you’re waiting for this…”

He pulled himself apart from Lord Kim, and giving a soft pat on his chest he said, “Please stop it, my Lord. I’m just relieved, thinking that I can have a good sleep tonight.”

If it wasn’t Lord Kim, he surely could not say those kind of words even as a simple joke. With Lord Kim, he could joke back and the said man would still laugh his heart out at the younger’s sarcasm. It was actually very rare for him to make a joke or sarcastically speak if he was to entertain the other lords. Most of the time, he just acted cold and did the things he only absolutely needed to do to engage his guests, never more than necessary. However, with Lord Kim, he could become a tiny bit more lighthearted and comfortable just by sitting beside him. Maybe it was the influence of the other’s brightness and warmth, changing the cold aura around him, warming him up even if just a little.

“Hahahahaha… That’s right, if I stay the night here, there’s no way I’ll let you sleep the whole night. You got lucky today, Hyesung-ah.”

As expected, Lord Kim just laughed his joke off while placing soft pecks all over Hyesung’s face, neck and the small patch of skin of his exposed nape. Hyesung caressed the other’s back gently and decided to ask again.

“My Lord, are you having a problem? You really do look tired and stressed out.”

The older stayed silent, never stopping the shower of pecks he placed on the younger’s alabaster skin. A moment later, he looked up at Hyesung’s face and pinched his soft cheek with a little force, hard enough to earn a soft groan from him.

“Only you who would ask me like that and worry about me. Thank you, Hyesung-ah… But don’t worry, I’m fine.” Lord Kim replied with his trademark smile, showing the wrinkles decorating the corners of his eyes. Despite being concerned, if his lord said that he’s fine, Hyesung couldn’t press the matter further. All he could do was to trust his favorite lord’s words.   

*****

“Junghyuk-ah, come on…”

Without moving his eyes away from the book he was reading, he shook his head, earning a sigh from the other man who was sitting right next to him.

“Yahhh, Mun Junghyuk! Why are you reading all the time? We’re young masters. We should play around like others sometimes too,” the other whined.

He gave a short yet hard glance towards the short man who kept poking him on his waist, Lee Minwoo, the son of the most famous poet in town and Junghyuk’s best friend. Despite being a scholar himself, Minwoo wasn’t really the diligent type. As a matter of fact, his best friend often used his intelligence to gain friends from different circles and social status, and additionally to charm girls and women around the city. Junghyuk was sometimes baffled that his outgoing and party-lover friend could be smarter than him.

“Lee Minwoo, you know I’m not like you. I am not a real “Young Master”. You know me right? My background? I have to study more to gain my own status and you know exactly why I never go to a gibang."

His patient, yet firm-toned explanation caused Minwoo to go silent for a while, idly pulling out the dry grass around them. Predictably, his best friend was sulking again, and Junghyuk could only roll his eyes and continued his interrupted activity. But then, they heard a loud cheerful voice from afar, calling their names.

“Junghyuk-hyung! Minwoo-hyung!”

They lifted their heads to the direction of the voice and saw a young guy in light green silk robe running towards them, smiling widely.

Ah, Choongjae… I’m doomed… Junghyuk let out a deep sigh while murmuring these words in his mind. He wanted to snap the head of the short man beside him when he saw that he was grinning so widely at him, a 180 degrees turn around from the pout he sported before.

“Haaahhh… So tired… What are you doing here hyung-deul? Sitting under the tree and reading? Ehhhhh… Why are you two so boring? Let’s go and play around, come on!” Sighing for the second time, Junghyuk pretended like he could not hear what the younger one was saying.

Park Choongjae was a year younger than him and Minwoo, but because they had studied under the same teacher ever since their childhood, he talked to them comfortably like how friends usually did. Choongjae was even more outgoing and sociable than the older ones, being the popular guy among the girls from both the yangban* class and gibangs due to his good looks and quick wit. His status as the only son of one of the biggest merchants in their city, of course, didn’t hurt his popularity.

“I want to play around Choongjae-ah, but Junghyuk keeps saying he’s not going,” Minwoo answered, Junghyuk knew that we was pouting again without even needing to look at him.

There it was. It came, Minwoo’s ultimate tactic to drag him along with them. The short man knew that Junghyuk had a soft spot for the youngest. Junghyuk had always taken care for Choongjae as if he was his real younger brother and very rarely rejected the latter’s requests.

“Hyung, why don’t you want to go? It’s just the gibang. We’ll just drink and play around with girls, that’s all. I’ll even pay for all of you, of course! Ah...”

As soon as he finished talking, Choongjae abruptly covered his mouth, his expression a little guilty as he just remembered something. Junghyuk’s lips curled into a faint smirk knowing that the younger had just realized the reason why he didn’t want to go.

“Ah… I’m sorry hyung. But… But… If you don’t want to play with the girls, we’ll just call two girls for us. Hyung can just drink and talk with us. How about that? Hmmm???” he reasoned.
 

“That is not the point, Choongjae-ah,” Junghyuk replied calmly.

“But hyuuungg…”

Being attacked with Choongjae’s puppy eyes, Junghyuk sighed again, “I told you, I can’t g—...”

“Hyuuunnnggg… Please?”

I really couldn’t say no, now could i?

*****

Junghyuk let out a sigh for umpteenth time today as he reluctantly entered the gibang. It was the first time in his life coming to this kind of place, although he could not say that he had no connection with this place—after all his mom had lived under the roof of a place similar to this many years ago.

Yes, his mother was a kisaeng* before taken in to be a concubine of his father, the Minister of Taxation. That was the reason why he did not want to come here, playing with girls who led the same life as his mother used to. It felt weird for him even just by being here, but he was the only one. Beside him, Minwoo and Choongjae were all smiles, accompanied by two young pretty kisaengs, walking towards their private drinking room. He could only shake his head when he faintly heard the younger’s jokes, successfully making the two kisaengs softly laughed.

Shifting his focus away, he looked around the place aimlessly, lagging behind his two friends and the girls. Despite being uncomfortable, he was a bit in awe seeing how gorgeous the place was. In the courtyard, he could perfectly see the signs that autumn was coming to its end, the crimson and golden leaves fluttering down leaving the trees’ branches , ready to greet another winter. But then, his eyes stopped at a sight of the dazzling figure only a few meters away from him. Different from the other kisaengs, this girl was wearing a more boyish attire, although it looked like it was made of pastel-colored silk just as fine. And instead of styled in complicated buns and braids, her hair was let loose down the waist without any single ornament. A high class nobleman was talking while walking beside her, smiling in adoration.
 

Then, she turned her head towards his direction and their eyes met.
 

Oh…

It was a man.

A very beautiful man, not a girl as he first thought.

Yet, his facial features were so delicate. His fair skin was smoother, clearer than the make-up covered faces of the kisaeng girls. His silky black hair was flowing down dreamily, like a waterfall of finest ebony.

He could not help but to stare at the beautiful man, wondering what a person like him was doing at a gibang. The latter also fixed his stare at Junghyuk for a moment, until he his head was gently caressed by the nobleman beside him, demanding his attention. He bowed deeply at the nobleman and remained still at his spot, standing until the man left in his palanquin. Only after the last dust of the palanquin carriers’ footsteps disappeared from his sight that he dared to walked away, but not before glancing at Junghyuk for the last time.

He might be imagining it, but he thought that he saw a tinge of sadness in the depth of those cold eyes of that pretty man.

“Yah... Are you watching Hyesung?”

A soft pat from Minwoo brought him back out of his daydream. “Hmmm?” he gave a questioning look at the short man, not really understanding what he just said.

“The one you’re looking at. His name is Hyesung. The only male kisaeng in this gibang... Or maybe in the whole city? Whole country? He’s a man but he’s pretty, right?”

Junghyuk was so startled that he couldn’t reply to his best friend for a while. He looked back at the empty spot the pretty man had just left.

“Oh… He’s also a kisaeng?” he mumbled, recalling those dark eyes filled with sorrow.

“But he’s not in our reach. He’s a haengsu* whom only the top-ranked officials and richest merchants could request to meet. He received guests only by choice too… Ah, what a pity! Hahaha… Come on, let’s go!” while laughing, Minwoo entered the room, following Choongjae and their pretty companions, leaving Junghyuk alone outside with his own thoughts.

“Hyesung…” he murmured the name into the cold evening air.

*kisaeng: officially sanctioned korean female courtesans

*yangban: traditional ruling class or nobles of dynastic Korea

*gibang: principal buildings associated with kisaeng, the highest-class drinking house during joseon dynasty, where kisaeng entertain upperclass customers.

*haengsu: kisaeng of highest tier, each gibang might have tens of them