Beep… Beep… Beep…

Yoseop opened his eyes slowly and squinted at the bright light from the outside of the window. He blinked lazily, eyes moving all over the place, too tired to even turn his head.

It was all white.

Where am I? 

He frowned while trying to remember what had happened and clearly failed. It`s either he has been sleeping for so long or he had just being diagnosed with amnesia since it is so hard to remember anything.

Beep… Beep… Beep…

He flinched and slowly looked at his arm. Ah… So I am at a hospital…

But… Why…?

“So you`re awake already…?”

Yoseop looked at the door and saw a man, whom he assumed is a doctor with the long coat and fail in his hand, walking slowly towards him and stopped when he reached his side. He stayed silent, looking at the doctor, waiting for the man to start the conversation.

“My name is Dr. Park Chanyeol. You can call me Dr. Park or just Chanyeol, whichever suits you and I am your personal doctor at this hospital. I will be in charge for taking care of you and release you only when I certainly sure that you are already okay physically and mentally”

Mentally?

 Yoseop frowned again. He opened up his mouth to say something but his voice turned out to be so hoarse, “What… happened?”

The handsome and tall doctor smiled softly at him, “I think I am in no position to tell you exactly what had happened but to be safe, let just say that you acted slightly out of control over something that disappoint you so much”

He sighed softly. Well, since the doctor didn`t want to tell him, he probably had to wait for the next person who will enter the room to tell him what had happened exactly.

Dr. Park wrote down few scribbles on his fail and looked at Yoseop again, “Yoseop-shii, I have been told to let you have all the rest you needed so I think I will take my leave now. There`s someone waited outside for you. Do you want me to call him in?”

Yoseop looked at the outside of the window, watching how the trees being swayed by air and nodded his head.

He was so into his own world until he didn`t realized that the occupant of the room had change. Another man entered the room and walked slowly towards him, taking his seat on the chair.

“Yoseop…”

He said man blinked his eyes and turned his head. He looked at the other and blinked again. He was shocked for a mere second but quickly wiped the expression off his face, leaving a blank one, “Doojoon…?”

Doojoon nodded and smiled softly, “How are you feeling?”

“What happened?” Didn`t want to dwell at all, he straightly asked what was on his mind, “Why am I here?”

The other man chuckled nervously, he inched closer and placed a cold mineral water bottle at Yoseop`s side, “You must be tired and confuse but still, why don`t you just don`t think of that for a while?”

“I am at the hospital and you tell me not to think about why am I here?” Yoseop asked.

“That`s not what I meant. I am just worried about you, that`s all. I will tell you later but for now, just rest, okay?”

“Is it bad? The doctor told me that I am not mentally stable. Why is that?”

“Yoseop-”

“I want you to tell me, Doojoon. If you don`t want to break the news to me, I don`t need you here”

Yoseop looked away, to the trees again and continue to try to remember what had happened since no one will tell him. He ignored the other man besides him and even when Doojoon finally stood up to take his leave, he didn`t take off his eyes of the trees.

Why is it felt like I don`t want him here?

I thought I love him so much…

This is so weird…

~~~~~

“Yoseop…”

Yoseop looked up from the bed and his eyes widened, “G-Grandma…?”

The old lady smiled really motherly and slowly stepped into the room, taking her gently seat on the bed, near her grandchild, “How are you doing, Yoseop”

Hardly, the sick man sits up and looked at his grandmother. He smiled really widely like a kid that had just been given a candy, “I am fine, grandma. W-What are you doing here? How can you be here?”

Yoseop`s grandmother beamed at the man. She touched his shoulder lightly, “This is just a dream, young man. I can`t be real since it has been years when I left already”

Hearing the answer, the big smile on Yoseop`s face fell. “A… dream…?”

“Don`t be upset. I am always with you in here” She said, placing her hand on Yoseop`s chest, “You just can`t see me but I can see you. I listen to everything you said and I feel whatever you are feeling, my dear”

“Then… you must knew what had happened to me” Yoseop said, taking his grandmother`s hand into his, “Can you tell me, grandma? Tell me what had happened. I can`t remember a thing at all and no one want to tell me”

The old lady shook her head, “It takes time and I think it is better if you remembered those moments by yourself”

“Why…? Is it so bad…?”

“It is not bad. You just being so upset and an upset boy can do anything unthinkable, right? You are one of those boys”

Yoseop pouted, “I am big man now, grandma. No need to call me a boy anymore”

She chuckled, “But you acted like one” She teased, “You will always be my baby boy”

Yoseop playfully glared at the woman that he loves the most, “I miss you, grandma. Why do you have to leave me?”

“You know… every time I heard you ask the same question, I have been thinking on what is the suitable answer to give to you and I think… it is because I knew… that you can live all by yourself without me. I knew that you will be just fine and you can handle all the pressure. You are one very strong boy and not only me but God also knew it, that`s why he took me from you”

“But… I am so alone now… no one want me… no one need me… I have no friend now. Sehun is busy with Yifan. Dad`s always busy with business. Mom… I don`t want to even say it… no one want to be with me”

“What about Doojoon…?”

Yoseop looked up, “Doojoon…?”

“Yeah… the boy… Doojoon”

“How did you know about him…?”

“You told me that you love him so much…”

“When…?” Yoseop frowned and he saw the smile on his grandmother`s face widened.

Out of sudden, he woke up…

And he remembers everything.

~~~~~

“Welcome home, Yoseop” Yifan smiled widely and stepped aside to let his small little fiancée to enter the house. The other didn`t reply him and just walked past the door, to the living room. Yifan looked at Doojoon who was the one that picked up Yoseop and took the small luggage in his hand, “How was he?”

Doojoon sighed, watching as Yoseop took his seat on the sofa, “I don`t know what happen but he didn`t say a word to me ever since the day I visited when he woke up”

Yifan shook his head, placing Yoseop`s luggage at the side and gestured Doojoon to come with him towards Yoseop. He took his seat in front of Yoseop who was leaning back against the sofa, probably resting his tired little body. “Yoseop…”

Slowly, the smaller opened his eyes and glanced at the two men in front of him. He blinked, silently asking a question of ‘what?’ without using words.

“Um… Do you want to rest?” Doojoon asked.

Yoseop shook his head and he looked at Yifan, waiting for the other man to ask.

“Are you hungry…?” Yifan asked slowly, “Do you want to take a bath perhaps? Is there anything I can do for you?”

Sighing slowly, Yoseop shook his head again.

“Yoseop-ah”

All three of them looked at the source of voice and watched as Sehun took his seat beside Yoseop, smiling really widely, “How`s my little brother?” He cheered playfully.

Yoseop lazily looked at Sehun and blinked. All the others stayed silent for a moment, waiting for the smallest of them to speak up until Yoseop stood up, rubbing his face slightly and walked towards his room.

Sehun raised his eyebrows and looked at Doojoon and Yifan right after Yoseop closed his door, “What happened?”

“I don`t know…” Yifan shrugged, looking at Doojoon, “What`s wrong with him?”

Doojoon huff his breath, “I don`t… know what to say. I don`t know what had happened to him. I just don`t know”

~~~~~

Yoseop lay down on his bed and sighed as he looked at the empty ceiling. He let his imaginary went wild and out of sudden his parents` face being display on the ceiling in front of him, like on a screen.

That was when he realized that his parents were even here when he was just being discharge from the hospital. He scoffed loudly.

Both of the Yangs didn`t visit their own son at the hospital and Yoseop was there for almost 2 weeks. There`s no sign of any of them. Really…? What kind of parents were they?

Is it so hard for him to feel slight love and attention from his own parents? He thought that was what a parent at least give to their child. He`s the only child and heir, he didn`t ask much at all. He just wanted some love from his parents.

Right after that, the face of Yifan and Sehun being displayed and replacing his parents` faces. Yoseop blinked, clicking his tongue.

Those two… they used to be the most important people in Yoseop`s life, but not anymore. None of them matter in his life any longer. Not that they wanted to be important in Yoseop`s life anyway. They have each other. There is no need for Yoseop to be there.

They were just been there because they pity him.

Yeah… pity…

It is because if it is not for pity and they genuinely care for him, they had been at least once come to the hospital. However, none of them appear.

my life…

Yoseop sighed; sitting up from the bed and immediately saw his reflection on the mirror in front of him. He almost flinched, looking at his own self. How thin he is now. There were no longer chubby cheeks, no longer shinning hair and no longer amusing smile. What`s left was only a reflection of a person that has not been eating and socialize for 2 weeks.

Slowly, he lifted his hand to touch his cheek but then the door`s being knocked.

~~~~~

“Yoseop… say something. Why are you like this?” Doojoon pleaded, holding the other`s hand in his, trying to look at Yoseop deep in the eyes. Yoseop was looking at him but there was an invisible glass in the eyes of the smaller that stopped him from reading the boy`s expression.

Yoseop blinked few times and sighed. He pulled his hand out of Doojoon`s grasp and stood up, walking towards the balcony, letting the cold night wind blew on his petite body.

Doojoon slowly followed the other and stood beside him. “I can`t helped you if you don`t tell me what is wrong”

“I remember…”

“W-What…?” Probably because he didn`t hear Yoseop`s voice for so long, the smaller`s voice sound foreign for him. Doojoon looked at Yoseop, “What is it that you were saying…?”

“I remember what had happened” Yoseop said, slightly louder than before. “I remember that on the night I tried to commit suicide, I overheard my father told everyone how useless I am. I remember looking at my mother`s face. She didn`t even defend me, her own son and only child. I remember how hard I cried, begging for the Reaper to take my soul right there and then. I remember… I remember everything”

Doojoon gulped down his own spit, his lower lips while trying to think on the best word to mutter, “Yoseop… I know that-”

“That`s mean I also remember how much you hate me, Doojoon” The smaller said and this time, he looked straight into Doojoon eyes. The fierce and sharp look in his eyes made Doojoon flinched, “So you don`t have to act all nice towards me. I remember everything. Drop your act already”

“Yoseop… I know that I have been harsh with you before but-”

“What…?” Yoseop cut in, “You sympathized me, don`t you? Is it because you just realized that I am all alone or it is simply because before I yearn for your love so much that I am willing to kill myself for it?” He asked and left the balcony, walking into his room.

Doojoon blinked rapidly and quickly followed the other, “Yoseop, please listen to me. I have to at least explain to you why I acted like that before”

Yoseop stopped his track, making Doojoon almost bumped into his back and turned around, “Then… tell me with one complete sentence why you acted like that before? Am I so disgusting until you didn`t want to even talk and look at me? Or-”

“I was wrong about everything” Doojoon blurted out. He was so panicked that he just said anything came across his head without thinking twice, “I was wrong because I never wanted to try to know you before. I was just so angry at how you practically force yourself on me and that`s why I-”

“So this is now my fault?” Yoseop asked slowly, “Fine… if it was my fault, I am so sorry. I am so sorry that I can`t control myself when I fall in love with you. I am so sorry that I just force everything to you, threatening you and do what so ever that pissed you off. I am so sorry. Satisfied…?”

Hearing Yoseop`s sharp and emotionless word made Doojoon lost for words. The little boy had change. If before, he would act like a child and cry if he didn`t get what he wanted but now, Doojoon can`t even see a single tear in Yoseop`s eyes.

The looked that Yoseop was wearing reflected a very strong look, like he didn`t fear anything at all.

“I can`t do this anymore, Doojoon”

Doojoon blinked, “What…?”

Yoseop shook his head and walked backwards until he reached the bed, sitting slowly on it.  “After everything turned out like this, I don`t think I have the same feelings to you ever again”

His eyes widened, “W-What…? Wait… Yoseop… Right now, you were just tired and I think you need a little bit more rest before you can say something like that, okay?”

“I lay down on the hospital bed, doing nothing for 2 weeks, Doojoon. So I don`t need any rest now. Why are you acting like this now? You should be happy since I will never bother you anymore”

Doojoon inhaled deeply before letting it out with a harsh sigh, “Like I said… I was wrong about everything before. I have learnt to adapt with you and your life now. I think you and I can-”

“Don`t tells me you want me now because I don`t want you any longer” Yoseop said once and for all, “You should remember everything that you have done to me, everything that you have said to me, everything that you have cause me to feel before you said anything resembles us being together or even friend”

“Please… Yoseop… At least give me some-”

“Don`t you get it, Yoon Doojoon? Go back to your house with your grandmother and I will never bother you anymore. We will never meet again. You with your life and so do I. So just go and don`t come back. Don`t make me fall again for you”

~~~~~

“Write it again…”

“But…”

Yoseop took off his eyes from the laptop and glared at the person standing in front of him, “That…” He pointed at the file that he just threw on the floor, “That`s the most simple definition of trash so if you don`t want to be fired only because of a single report, write it again”

The fluster girl trembled slightly and she quickly recovered the file in her hands, “Yes, Mr. Yang”

“I want it on my table before you left the office or you will never see this building again”

She nodded and stepped outside the office, almost crying.

Sehun looked at Yoseop right after the girl left and he took the seat in front of the man, “You don`t have to do that. Just tell her politely and she will write it again if that`s what you wanted”

Yoseop ignored the other and continued his work on the laptop.

“Yoseop…”

“What…?”

“It has been long since the last time we talk”

“We are talking right now”

“I meant… as brothers… as friends… like before”

“You mean like before you worked for my father”

Sehun sighed and he straightened his seat, “Look… it has been a month since you`ve been discharge from the hospital and Doojoon told me that you remembered everything now. But that does not mean that-”

“I don`t want to talk about other thing beside work with you, Sehun”

“Why are you being like this…? This is not you that I know”

Yoseop scribbled down few things on the paper beside him, “People change, so do I and I think everyone prefer this side of me now”

“I don`t… I prefer the childish Yoseop that I knew before. I prefer the crybaby Yoseop, the whining Yoseop, the playful Yoseop that I knew before. This is not Yang Yoseop that I love as friend and also brother before”

“I don`t need your love…”

“I am sorry…?”

Yoseop shook his head, “No one love me before so I think I decided that I don`t need any love now. It is better this way, was it?”

Sehun scoffed, getting irritated that Yoseop didn`t look at him at all, “Look… I am sorry for neglecting you before, okay? I still love you. Your parents love you. Yifan and also Doojoon love you”

“No you guys don`t…”

“Doojoon been-”

“I don`t want to hear his name any longer…”

“Yoseop… Don`t act like this… He`s devastated that you`ve been ignoring him. Doojoon waited for you to at least talk to him. Please…”

“That`s what he did to me before” Yoseop said and finally, he looked up from the computer, “So why don`t you tell him to try to commit suicide first, like I did and that`s when I think I might can forgive him”

“Yoseop…!”

Both Yoseop and Sehun looked up towards the door, revealing the panting hard Doojoon with Yifan trailing behind him.

“What…?” Coldly, Yoseop asked.

 Yifan closed the door of Yoseop`s office and leaned against it, “We heard about you going to China”

“So…?”

Doojoon his lips and walked slowly towards the smaller man. From the corner of his eyes, he can clearly see the plaque written Vice President at the front of Yoseop`s desk. It as if was mocking him, asking him what he is compare to the man sitting behind the desk.

“When will you go…?” He asked slowly, ignoring Sehun who stood up from his seat.

Yoseop sighed, pushing his laptop slightly away from him and leaned on his chair, acting as if he was going to interrogate his workers. Well, Sehun and Yifan are his workers. “Why is it matter to you, may I know?”

“Yoseop…” Yifan called out, “Can you please don`t act like such a brat and give us some room? What had happened to my fiancée that once a cheerful guy?”

The said man glared at his so called fiancée. “Quit calling me your fiancée. It disgusts me, Wu Yifan”

All of the others in the room raised their eyebrows. Sehun looked back and forth at Yoseop and Doojoon and then Yifan. “Look… Yoseop… We were just worried about you. That`s all, okay? I am sorry on the others` behalf and right now, the news of you going to China shocked all of us and-”

“Ask my father… He insisted on sending me there to manage the business” Yoseop said, cutting Sehun`s words.

“When will you go…?” Doojoon asked.

Yoseop looked at Doojoon. He`s going to be the biggest liar ever if he said his heart didn`t bother to care for Doojoon. He loves the man. He swears he`s still love the man. It just that… he felt so hurt from what Doojoon had did to him before. He can`t just simply forgive the man.

Not just yet.

“Tomorrow…” Yoseop said slowly, almost a whispered, “I will go to China tomorrow”

“Will you come back…?”

“Maybe I will… Maybe not…”

~~~~~

“Are you sure this is right?” Yifan asked, looking at the smaller man beside him. He sighed softly and lay down on the bed as if it was his.

Yoseop hand stopped for a while from folding his clothes but then he just shook his head before continued to fold again, “I don`t know…”

One thing about Yoseop and Yifan is that no matter how angry Yoseop is, Yifan will never become bewildered towards him. The taller man will always calm him down and as the result; Yoseop can confess anything to Yifan, even about his true feelings.

“Doojoon really regret it about what he did to you before…”

“Don`t mention his name here”

“But you murmured his name during sleep…”

Yoseop sharply turned his head to look at the grinning Yifan. “What…? When…?”

Yifan shrugged, “Every time I visit you when you were sleeping. You were saying his name over and over again”

“Really…?”

The other just nodded. Of course it`s a lie. There will be no way Yoseop will talk while sleeping. The petite man didn`t have any sleeping habit at all.

Yoseop frowned while his eyes looked at his luggage. Suddenly, he was questioning his decision on following his father`s order. Is it the right decision?

“He loves you”

Yoseop closed his eyes for a moment and then he looked at Yifan. The clothes in his hand had long been forgotten, “He didn`t… He hates me. He told me by himself. I can`t forget the look in his eyes when he said that”

Yifan shook his head, “It was before he gets to know you. Now, he loves you. He told me and Sehun while crying his eyes out, saying how regret he felt of treating you liked a trash before. I think you should at least give him some chance to prove himself to you”

“Is it worth it, Yifan?” He asked like a curious little boy, “Will it worth another chance? He hurt me so much before and I don`t think I can face the same cunning look from him again like he used to give to me before”

“Yoseop…” Yifan sat up, “Everybody including you deserve a second chance. You need to give yourself a break too. I know it`s stressful to act like someone who`s hard and strong like you did now but come on… just admit that you also want that man, right?”

Tossing the clothe in his hand away, Yoseop sighed, rubbing his face harshly, “It is not that easy to forget”

“It is also not that easy to forgive but I am sure that it will worth it. Give it a try and if he dares to hurt you again, I am going to kill him with the butcher`s knife” Yifan teased and for the first time after Yoseop`s woke up at the hospital, he sees the smaller man smiles.

~~~~~

Doojoon sighed deeply; he lay down on the grass of the garden, looking up at the dark sky. It reflected his heart; it was dark since his ‘sun’ had dies. His mind kept on wondering to what Yoseop was doing. How was he?

It hits Doojoon really hard when he know about Yoseop`s going to leave for China. He felt like the air being pulled out of his body and he almost died on instant. He knew about it before since Yoseop`s father always talk about sending Yoseop there but he never thought after the incident, he still wanted his son to be away from him.

He had been trying hard to get Yoseop`s attention but none of his tactics work. The other man simply ignored him. Yoseop didn`t looked at him at all and whenever he try to talk to him, he will just getting a silent as the answer.

Well…

Maybe that is what he did before to the other man. He has been ignoring Yoseop a lot before. That`s stress Yoseop really hard until the man decided to cut his wrist.

Doojoon can`t never forget how scared he is when he find Yoseop`s body with cut wrist at the park near his house almost 2 months ago. He felt so scared until he can`t move for almost 5 minutes.

Maybe Yoseop was getting his revenge. The smaller will make Doojoon feels what he felt before and knowing that fact, Doojoon really regretted it whatever he had done.

Yoseop actually is one very good man. His grandmother`s hospital bills being cleared because of the man. He also had been promoted into higher rank at his job because of the man. Not to mention, he didn`t have to pay for rent anymore now.

Yoseop is a good man; he was just so stupid and blind for not realizing it.

“It`s cold outside…”

Doojoon flinched and he quickly sat up. His eyes widened when he saw Yoseop was walking towards him and like a high school girl, his heart almost burst out when Yoseop sat down beside him. “Y-Yoseop…”

“What…?” Like usual, Yoseop asked back coldly.

“Um…” Doojoon cleared his throat, “W-What are you doing here…?”

Yoseop sighed, “What are you doing here…?”

“N-Nothing… just… I am doing nothing…”

Yoseop nodded and they stayed silent for a moment, letting the cold night breeze flew their nervousness away, “I am leaving tomorrow…” Yoseop whispered.

Doojoon glanced at Yoseop and looked down on the grass dejectedly, “Do you have to go…? Do you really have to go?”

“My father had been telling me to go for over 2 months now and I think there is no use for me to be here anymore. So why don`t I just go there… maybe start a new life… living in China can`t be so bad, is it?”

“But…” Doojoon choked on his own spit, “Yoseop… I can`t… can you please don`t go…?”

Yoseop looked at Doojoon, “Tell me one simple reason why I can`t go” He whispered.

Doojoon blinked his eyes. His mouth opened for a moment and then closed back. He tried hard to force his brain to think on what to say.

One simple reason…

One… simple… reason…

“I love you…”

Yoseop held his breath. Honestly, he felt like he wanted to jump sky high after hearing the sentence that he had wanted to hear for so long but he knew he had to control himself from acting like a complete idiot.

Doojoon sighed, “I love you, Yoseop” He said again, “I am sorry for what I have done before. I am sorry for breaking your heart. I am sorry for ignoring you. I was wrong before. I didn`t even wanted to know you but now… I changed and it`s because of you. I want to be better because of you, for you…”

“Um…” Yoseop hummed, nodding slightly, “You`ve been saying the same thing about your mistake to me over and over again”

“I know… it was because I was stupid. I am an utter idiot because I don`t want to give you a chance at all. But now I am begging you, Yoseop” He said, taking Yoseop`s hand into his, “Please… give me a chance. I will prove it to you that I love you so much…”

Yoseop looked at their intertwined fingers and flowers bloomed in his heart. He almost smiled though. “Are you sure…?”

“I am perfectly sure…”

“Promise me that you will love and cherish me…”

“You are the most important person in my life now, Yoseop…”

Yoseop let his eyes met with the man that he loves. He looked deep into Doojoon`s eyes, trying to find the most sincere part of him. He didn`t want to be left again, he didn`t want to be hurt again, he didn`t want to feel that feelings ever again.

He knew Doojoon is sincere. The man in front of him is the most readable person he had ever met. People can read anything emotion on Doojoon`s face. It was as clear as a day that Doojoon was pleaded, begging for Yoseop.

“Come with me then…”

Doojoon froze as he looked at Yoseop critically, “I am sorry…?”

Yoseop slowly smiled. He caressed Doojoon`s hand in his and chuckled, the first time ever since he woke up at the hospital. It felt so good to be able to laugh again, “Come with me to China. We start a new life together, just you and I”

People said that love is blind. It is blind. Doojoon being blind once again with Yoseop`s love and without thinking twice, with big grin, he nodded.

“Just you and I”

“Together… forever…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The End~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~