I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

- Roy Croft

*  *  *  *  *

Jongin marched up the stairs as he fumbled through his pocket, fishing out his cellphone which had been shut down along the journey home. Or had it been died since yesterday? He couldn’t remember since he was too busy with his works. He turned it on, continued his walk as slowly as possible because he was too worn out after spending his days beneath the sun, visiting sites.

However, he stopped abruptly at the middle of the staircase as a large numbers of messages and miscalls appeared on the screen. Most of them were from his secretary and workmates, which weren’t a surprise. What he did not expect at all was the message and phone calls from Sehun. To be honest, it was quite shocking, but at the same time, a little amusing. Who was he kidding? Oh Sehun, the little egoistic prince, texting him? What a rare day.

‘Where are you? Why don’t you answer my call? I need to tell you something.’

As simple as the text seemed to be, Jongin was glad that Sehun was the one who sent it. The younger never bothered to message him before, unless something really important occurred. But judging from the text alone, he could tell that Sehun was nervous and frustrated; it seemed to be written in a rush. Jongin was curious as well, referring to that something that Sehun wanted to inform him.

Unconsciously, his lips formed a small smile. Perhaps he could poke fun from the message. It had been so long since the last time he had ever heard Sehun’s laughter filled in the empty space. It wasn’t that he often heard it anyway. The younger male would not laugh at his own text message for sure, but he would probably be embarrassed if Jongin brought up the topic.

He walked leisurely towards their shared bedroom, a playful grin etched on his lips. The grin, however, was quickly wiped away from his face when he saw Sehun’s condition. He rushed over to the bed and sat beside the brunet.

“What happened to you?” He asked gently as he lightly touched his husband’s ankle which was wrapped in a bandage. He was away for only two weeks and Sehun had hurt himself during those limited time. He should have known how careless the younger one could be at times.

“No… err… that- I- It was nothing. I just fell down… and injured my ankle.” The brunet whispered softly. His eyes were anywhere but Jongin while he kept fiddling with his slender fingers. It clearly seemed as if Sehun was hiding something from him, but Jongin did not want to stress him further. So he let the matter past.

It was still a little awkward for them to communicate to each other as a normal married couple, though it had been almost a year. How could they when they barely knew one another? Marriage is supposed to bring two persons who are madly in love together. It is meant to bind them in a string of everlasting relationship. But instead, Kim Jongin and Oh Sehun were married because they were expected to satisfy their needs. No extra care, no feelings and no string attachment. Jongin seemed to cross the barrier between them though, and he didn’t even realize it.

Jongin shrugged as he loosened his tie. He may seem unconcerned, but deep down he was still thinking of Sehun’s weird behavior. Never once the brunet had ever lost his ability to speak. And he was stuttering just now – it was far from the Oh Sehun he knew. Jongin acknowledged the fact that he was supposed to care, and he actually did care, but he was afraid that he might press the brunet too much with his curiosity.

He placed his cellphone on the desk at the corner, and the text was forgotten.

—

Jongin had only been sleeping for an hour when he felt the soft bed dipped with the weight of someone. As soon as he finished washed up earlier, he’d gone to sleep. He hadn’t seen Sehun anywhere, maybe he was in the kitchen or watching television. Jongin concluded that his injury wasn’t so bad after all, because he could still walk without having anyone to help him.

He ignored Sehun’s presence as he tried to get his sleep back. Perhaps Sehun thought that he was already in a dreamland because he got neared Jongin, to the point where he could feel the brunet’s heat collided him – it was a gesture he had never done before. Sehun draped his arm over him, and hesitantly wrapped his arm around Jongin’s torso loosely.

Jongin’s breath started to go a bit uneven as he was too surprised to think of what he will have to do. Should he return it? Or was it better if he pretended as if he did not feel anything? He stayed quiet for a while, confused of what was happening at the moment.

When he thought that Sehun was beginning to fall asleep, he knew he was wrong. Jongin could feel the younger tightened his hug as he buried his face at the crook of Jongin’s neck. His heart almost jumped out in surprise. Sehun was never the type to show his affection to anybody, especially to someone like Jongin. But soon enough, when Jongin felt the wetness on his skin and the quiet sobs escaping Sehun’s mouth, he knew that something was definitely upsetting the younger male.

It was something that he couldn’t quite pinpoint why. Was it his mistake? Had he hurt him? Jongin could feel the guilt building up inside. Or had he been too oblivious that he did not aware of the reason of Sehun’s sadness? The older wanted to touch him so bad, to wipe the tears away, but he was not supposed to ruin this moment. Sehun thought he was asleep, and it better be that way.

Silently, he wished he could dry Sehun’s tears with his fingers, and let him knew how much Kim Jongin cared for him. But he was too scared of invading Sehun’s personal space, and that was why Jongin let him cried, but did not bother of sharing his sorrow.

—

He put a mug of lukewarm coffee on the kitchen’s counter. It wasn’t his routine to make coffee early in the morning. But since he couldn’t get a proper sleep last night after what had happened, he decided he needed some caffeine to get through the day. He must go to work. How could he face it when his eyes could hardly open?

He took a small sip from the cup as he focused his attention on his paperwork. Though he had check it up for numerous times, and he knew that nothing seemed to be out of place, he couldn’t stop himself from examined it again and again. He just wanted things to be perfect.

Jongin sipped again and choked on his drink when a loud sound of door being slammed was heard. Sehun had woke up? Why was he so loud? He mildly wondered.

Just a few minutes after that, Sehun appeared. He seemed to be unwell. His face was as white as sheet, while his steps were unstable and wobbly. But he did not say anything as he walked past Jongin. The older eyed him from his seat as the younger went to grab a mug. He almost thought it would fall, judging from how weak Sehun’s grip on it. Thankfully, it didn’t.

He tried to pretend that Sehun wasn’t there. Obviously, it was a futile attempt. How could he when the brunet was clearly sick, as if he would collapse in a matter of time? Needless to say, Jongin was worried. His eyes might be on the paper, but his thoughts were wondering elsewhere.

“Urgh…” the younger one groaned weakly as he held his aching head in his hand while his other hand was pressed up on the kitchen’s counter, supporting him. Sehun’s face scrunched up in pain. He noticed that Sehun’s hands were trembling. Well, not only his hands, but his body was shaking all over. Now, seeing the brunet in such state, Jongin couldn’t pretend as if he did not see anything.

“Sehun, are you okay?” He asked as he walked towards Sehun. 

“No. Don’t you dare to get near me.”

It sounded cold, surprisingly. Sure, it was very different compared to how he acted yesterday. But Jongin could not keep still anymore.

“What’s wrong?” Jongin clutched the younger’s shoulder, and he could feel at his fingertips how the muscles tensed under his touch.

“Nothing. It has nothing to do with you. Why would you care anyway?”

Jongin thought he was going to shout or scream at his face – which Sehun often did whenever he was furious. Strangely enough, he didn’t. But Jongin was grateful because he seriously did not want to get into a fight with his husband. It’d been a while since the last time they fought. Nonetheless, he realized that the tone of Sehun’s voice was oddly shallow, as if he was extremely exhausted and dejected.

The flash of hurt in Sehun’s eyes was visible, and that rendered Jongin speechless. He was very confused right now. What had he done wrong? Aren’t they were fine yesterday? Jongin didn’t think he had ever committed a sin to trigger Sehun’s wrath.

“Sehun—”

The younger did not let him finished. He pried Jongin’s hand off of him and turned his back to him. He stumbled a little before he gained his balance.

“Go to work. I am no one to you, right?”

That last sentence, however, was enough to make Jongin’s blood boiled.

“You’re someone to me, Sehun! You’re my husband.” Jongin almost yelled in defeat.

Sehun hadn’t noticed how much he cared for him, did he? He never knew how worried Jongin was whenever Sehun hurt himself. And those moments when he got the urge to pull the brunet into his embrace, and told him how much he meant in his life. But Jongin had to seize his desire, because he knew Sehun hadn’t expected that kind of relationship between them. All Jongin wanted was only for the younger to be comfortable around him.

But all of his love and care for Sehun was displayed in his eyes. Hadn’t the brunet realized Jongin’s wordless confession?

“You’re lying! If you do care for me, you would’ve asked how I got myself injured. But you didn’t. Why don’t you answer my call? Why don’t you reply to my text? And once you got home yesterday, even after you’ve received my message, you never bother to ask me what is that something that I wanted to tell you. Last night, you went to sleep early. And you weren’t waiting for me at all when you already knew that I couldn’t walk properly. You’re ignorant, aren’t you? Isn’t that enough to prove everything?”

Jongin froze in his spot. So, Sehun wanted his attention?

“You never told me anything. Only now do I know that you’re seeking for my attention. I was afraid that I might annoy you before. And I thought you don’t want anything to do with feelings?”

“Why would it annoy me? And yes, I did say that I don’t want romance in our marriage. But I’ve been living with you under the same roof, in the same room, and sleeping in the same bed for months. Don’t you think everything between us would have changed? Can’t you see it?”

Sehun sounded weak, and when he started to sway, Jongin caught his arm and pulled his frail body into his embrace, supporting Sehun’s weight with his own.

“I never knew because you hadn’t told me. Why don’t you tell me earlier?”

The brunet did not answer him; instead, he planted his face on Jongin’s shoulder and cried, just like how he did last night. The older wrapped his arms around Sehun’s thin waist, holding him tight.

“Things would have gone better than this if you told me sooner.”

He let Sehun cried on his shoulder a little longer. The younger nuzzled closer as he rubbed his face on the crook of Jongin’s neck. And Jongin couldn’t help but to laugh wholeheartedly at the affectionate gesture. The brunette was unpredictably bold. But he decided that he liked this new side of Oh Sehun better.

Jongin took Sehun’s face in his hand and wiped away the tears on his cheeks, like how he wished the day before. Jongin gave a light but passionate peck on the pink lips. Certainly they’d kissed few times before when they were having , but that was mere , without feelings but lust clouding their minds. This kiss was utterly different. It felt different when it involved feelings.

“I love you.” Sehun uttered out his confession out of the blue. And this time, Jongin did not need to confess his love through words, because Sehun already seen his love in Jongin’s bright eyes. Jongin landed a kiss on his lips one more time.

“Don’t you think you have to explain something to me, dear?” Jongin pointed out his index finger at the bandage on Sehun’s ankle.

“Oh… that was nothing. I was feeling dizzy yesterday, and I accidentally tumbled down the stair. No harm was done though, I just sprained my ankle.” Sehun smiled, and the older was more than happy seeing it. But then, he got worried again when Sehun mentioned of his health condition.

“Have you been sick lately?” Jongin furrowed his eyebrows questioningly, but at the same time, concerned of the younger’s wellbeing.

“Nu-uh. I’m not sick. Luhan hyung said that it was normal to experience those sicknesses during early pregnan—”

“What?”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you that something that I wanted to tell you. Well, Kim Jongin, you’ll be a dad in eight months from now. I’m pregnant.”

Perhaps the house wouldn’t be so empty and soulless anymore.

(2332 words)

a/n: okay, i know i kind of left it hang just like that in the end, but i think i’ll let you decide the ending yourself. yeah, whatever is it in your imagination of kai’s respond of the news. the title is weird, tbh. i don’t know why i chose it. and the ending is a little rush, so i’m so sorry :’( i don’t want it to be too long. so, what do you think? is this okay? or do i need to improvise anything? thank you for reading! :D you can drop off some comments! :3

(note: this my very first mpreg story, so i don’t know if i’m doing this right. criticisms are always welcome if you think i’ve done anything wrong here.)