No matter how dazzling the sun shines, it’s useless to me.

Only you, the beautiful, will be my light.

 

Kyungsoo awoke to the beating of someone else’s heart close to his ear, and the glow of the late radiance from the moon.

 

He felt the dawn of sleep rising to his eyelids soon again, as he wrapped his arms snugly around the waist of this person beside him and nuzzled his head closer to the other’s collar bone.

 

Kyungsoo noticed they were both lying down.

 

The grass seemed to reflect the glow of the moon, making everything around them appear in a trance-like state.

 

Dewdrops of the departed shoreline edged their way around the tines of soft, velvet turf.

 

The land was holding them, in a way.

 

Almost them lightly.

 

Floating them off into the land of dreams.

 

Jongin yawned, pressing his fingertips on Kyungsoo’s temples, moving them down toward his jaw, softly his delicate features.

 

He woke about an hour ago but didn’t say anything; simply because he enjoyed seeing Kyungsoo this way.

 

The tired side of Kyungsoo that was sweet and cute; all things cast aside when you see a face as smooth as honey.

 

Jongin’s eyes gleamed as he stared at Kyungsoo’s sweet dreams, right in his arms.

 

He couldn’t believe he was holding someone he had grown to love so much.

 

Was the beauty of all the cosmic stars combined ever challenged?

 

Jongin highly doubted it.

 

But as he looked at Kyungsoo tonight, he realized something else.

 

He remembered those distant and hazy days.

 

Those days he spent in Japan; the Paper Lantern Festival, the White Day, the New Year.

 

Along with the fireworks, the dark skies, the endless stars, the countless scents of food being cooked on the streets and the city lamps that seemed to dangle on paper thin thread.

 

That one 7-Eleven that seemed to have no closing hours.

 

All of these seemingly pointless things that only conjured memories as scattered as connect the dots

 

Every last trickle;

 

All of it.

 

Would have been better with Kyungsoo in his life.

 

It would have made his world if the Kyungsoo he held in his arms right now were with him in those moments; beside him, dancing, laughing, smiling, just being Kyungsoo.

 

But for some reason, again, it didn’t matter.

 

Because all of those memories are just memories.

 

Memories to be stored away and forgotten much later.

 

But Kyungsoo was now.

 

And Kyungsoo will continue to be now until forever stops.

 

From this, Jongin leaned down and placed a quick peck on Kyungsoo’s forehead, running a delicate finger through the latter’s soft tresses to comfort him.

 

These feelings were horrifying because Jongin knew that at any moment, Kyungsoo could be ready to break him at any time.

 

What Kyungsoo had taken was more than a gift; it was Jongin’s whole heart.

 

But Jongin was willing to risk it all if it meant being with the other for as long as time prevailed.

 

Maybe even longer than that.

 

“What are you doing, idiot?” Kyungsoo playfully smacked Jongin’s head to the side, aware of the close proximity between their two faces.
“Ever heard of personal space, you Dorito?”

 

“Yes I have and Doritos like to gather in bags, thank you very much!” Jongin argued, hugging Kyungsoo even tighter just to get to him.

 

He loved Kyungsoo so much.

 

It was so stupid.

 

“Okay! Okay! Enough!” Kyungsoo laughed as soon as Jongin trailed kisses up his neck, inevitably tickling him. “I hate that!”

 

“I know you do!” Jongin grinned, placing a quick peck onto Kyungsoo’s nose before propping himself up and leading the latter to lean against him.

 

Kyungsoo retraced the lines that were on Jongin’s palm before entwining their fingers together.

 

Jongin brought their hands up to his lips and softly kissed Kyungsoo’s fingers.

 

“When I first met you, I had a crush on you.” Kyungsoo whispered, shy smile beaming as he was sure Jongin couldn’t see it from the position they were in.

 

“Oh yeah?” Jongin smirked. “Tell me.”

 

“There’s nothing really to tell, exactly.” Kyungsoo began, growing oddly nervous as he recounted their earlier days of alphabet soup and unicorns.
“I just liked you.”

 

“I thought you were annoying.” Jongin flashed back to a few memories ago when he had first met Kyungsoo; doe-eyed and awe-struck.

 

“I know. I remember.” Kyungsoo expressed, though not so fondly. He hung his head low and realized just how much heart he was putting into Jongin already.

 

“I probably still annoy you.” Kyungsoo sighed.

 

“Shut up. Don’t say that.” Jongin cleared, letting go of Kyungsoo’s hand, and wrapping his arms around the other’s waist instead.

 

Kyungsoo backed himself closer to Jongin.

 

“That’s not true. You’re beautiful.” Jongin eased, plucking a stray leaf from a strand of the other’s hair.

 

“No, I’m really not.” Kyungsoo held onto Jongin’s hand and feigned a smile.

 

“You’re cute and intelligent and know more about monarchs than I do.” Jongin seemed to cheer Kyungsoo up a little, the latter cracked a smile.

 

Kyungsoo recounted his life outside of Jongin.

 

“I’m kind of weird.” He began awkwardly. “I wear glasses and study bugs and no one really talks to me all that much. The guys in University tend to shy away from me because I’m strange.” Kyungsoo shrugged his shoulders, thanking his lucky stars how much he could trust Jongin right now.

 

Jongin didn’t think that way at all though.

 

Kyungsoo was bright and creative, with all his sunlight and feeding monarchs; not to mention insatiably sweet.

 

Only an ignorant, arrogant person would ever ignore Kyungsoo.

 

“Well then, you’re my weirdo.” Jongin complimented, embracing the man in his arms once more before thumbing the other’s hair and beginning to braid as much of it as he could. “And I’m your King of Strange.”

 

“I thought you were my Moonlight?” Kyungsoo quirked an eyebrow.

 

“That too.” Jongin dwindled, picking up the crown beside them that he had made Kyungsoo on that first day.

 

Joingin gently set it atop Kyungsoo’s head and noted how the evening light seemed to be attracted to all that was Kyungsoo.

 

The glimmer in Kyungsoo’s eyes as he turned to face Jongin seemed to say all that words couldn’t and would never reveal.

 

Kyungsoo leaned forward and kissed Jongin’s lips slowly, placing his hands on the sides of Jongin’s face.

 

Jongin reciprocated, ending with a honeyed peck of his own.

 

“We can have .” Jongin pushed over radically, only doing it to see Kyungsoo’s reaction.

 

Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows, palms turning sweaty as he tried his best to not lose it.

 

“I’m not ready. I don’t think that’s a good idea Jongin, I just don’t think-”

 

“Shh.” Jongin interrupted, lacing his fingers with Kyungsoo’s again before sweetly pecking his cheek. “I’m just kidding, relax.”

 

“Then why would you say something like that?” Kyungsoo released the breath he didn’t even know he was holding, face beet red as he had just heard the last thing he ever expected to come out of Jongin’s mouth.

 

“I would never force you into it. Plus, I was just kidding.” Jongin winked, blinding smile taking up a part of his face.

 

“Stop.” Kyungsoo grew angry, mad that Jongin had even thought about taking his ity so early in their relationship.

 

“I’m sorry Sunlight.” Jongin apologized. “Bad joke. I just wanted to see you smile.” Jongin held onto Kyungsoo even tighter, in hopes of making it all better.

 

“It’s okay.” Kyungsoo cuddled closer to Jongin, resting his head on the former’s chest. “I freaked out. I’m sorry.”

 

Jongin rested his chin above Kyungsoo’s head, feeling remorse for his overly dumb joke.

 

“You’re really beautiful, okay?” Jongin said, casting a glance over at the moon that seemed to hug the sky. “Please don’t think of yourself as lower because you’re different. I like you the way you are.”

 

“I like you too, Jongin.” Kyungsoo smiled, all worries melting away as he realized just who was holding him.

 

“Do you know what the night version of monarch butterflies are?” Jongin asked curiously as he held onto Kyungsoo intently.

 

“Umm...the stars?” Kyungsoo furrowed his eyebrows.

 

“No crazy.” Jongin laughed, amused at how ridiculous and sweet this whole situation was.

 

“Fireflies.”

 

It was then that Kyungsoo looked up and opened his eyes for the first time.

 

They were all around them.

 

Dancing, glowing, swaying.

 

A little like the monarchs, only much brighter and quite a bit more powerful.

 

Kyungsoo laughed.

 

Jongin smiled.

 

“Oh my gosh!” Kyungsoo jumped up, drawing circles in the air and pretending to be an airplane. “They’re everywhere!”

 

“That’s what you said about the monarchs too, honey.” Jongin grinned as he eased himself off the ground and stood up, studying Kyungsoo attentively.

 

The other seemed so engrossed in the beauty of the night.

 

“Reason number five billion of me liking it here so much?” Jongin said aloud, letting a firefly carefully dip onto his finger and press lithe kisses. “At night, it turns into something of wonder.”

 

One

 

Two

 

Three

 

Kyungsoo twirled amongst himself, amazement growing at the numbers in which the fireflies seemed to bloom.

 

Some fit right in with the stars above.

 

Kyungsoo wondered if he would ever get to dance with them one day.

 

“Did you know-” Jongin turned around and faced Kyungsoo, all but shrouded in smirks and quirks. “They have enough strength to tickle a human body?”

 

“Really?” Kyungsoo turned as well, leaving a foot between him and Jongin. “Which ones?”

 

“The one named Jongin!” At that, Jongin commenced the tickle fight that erupted between the two that same afternoon.

 

Kyungsoo giggled and squealed in Jongin’s embrace, trying his best to stay away from the rabid monster, while at the same time, basking in his gentle touches.

 

Kyungsoo pushed and fought Jongin further and further into the corner of the field until Jongin’s backside hit the trunk of the black walnut tree.

 

The one he used to stay under during rainy days.

 

The one in which Kyungsoo was with him to make pictures out of thin air.

 

The one in which Kyungsoo falls over and Jongin catches him, just in time to hold onto his hand.

 

Kyungsoo blushes.

 

Jongin just smiles.

 

Kyungsoo wrapped both of his arms around Jongin’s neck and stood there, unmoving, unwavering.

 

The tide of the gentle stream rocked them both side-to-side.

 

Instead of clouds this time, the water was whispering to them.

 

The night time was a completely different world from the one they knew.

 

Kyungsoo was clumsy, hastily stepping on Jongin’s foot and occasionally crunching his toes under his own feet.

 

Jongin held him closer, letting Kyungsoo’s head fall on his shoulder blade as he danced the dance of the evening breeze.

 

The breeze that seemed to lift Kyungsoo’s hair in that way, and shift his bangs to the side, and make his eyelashes twinkle.

 

“You’re a terrible dancer.” Jongin giggles, hands enlaced into Kyungsoo’s own as he tries to makeshift an unmanageable waltz with the latter.

 

“I don’t know what I’m doing, Dorito!” Kyungsoo wails, huffing and trying with all of his heart to dance carefully with Jongin.

 

“You’re not listening, Kyungsoo.” Jongin whispered. “Listen.”

 

Kyungsoo laid his head back onto Jongin’s left shoulder and closed his eyes.

 

He let Jongin take the lead and hold his waist, shifting left to right ever so slowly.

 

Like the ebbs of the early morning tide.

 

If Kyungsoo listened hard enough, and breathed just a little bit more lightly, he swore he could hear the silent song that echoed in the field.

 

The sweet din of the dark sky light and the lights of the stars above served as a charming dance floor.

 

The world wanted Jongin and Kyungsoo to dance.

 

Dance together.

 

“You put your left foot here.” Jongin began, lifting Kyungsoo’s arms up and moving him slightly to the right. “And then, you just dance.”

 

Kyungsoo was starting to get it, albeit from the serene aura and the fact that Jongin was holding onto him like he would someone he had married.

 

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo asked from his position on Jongin’s collar, cheek resting against the other’s shoulder blade. “Do you think I’ll still know you tomorrow?”

 

Jongin seemed confused.

 

“Of course you will, won’t you?” He smiled and pressed his nose on the side of Kyungsoo’s hair. “We will be here today and tomorrow and the next day and the next.”

 

Kyungsoo hugged Jongin.

 

“Does this mean you’re my forever?” Kyungsoo felt himself swell up in warmth and adoration for Jongin.

 

Never had he meet anyone so sweet and chivalrous at the same time.

 

“If you want me to be.” Jongin answered back, pulling the hem of Kyungsoo’s shirt down and smoothing it out from the disturbance in the wind.

 

“Does that mean you’ll be here with me until I die?” Kyungsoo wondered again, eyes glazed over as the thought of spending eternity with Jongin crossed his mind.

 

He wouldn’t mind.

 

Kyungsoo wouldn’t mind that one bit.

 

“That’s what forever means, doesn’t it?” Jongin pressed a kiss against Kyungsoo’s temple.

 

“Yeah I know...but...why do you like me so much?” Kyungsoo marveled at the notion that Jongin had grown so fond of him so fast.

 

No one else in this world had really taken to him right off the bat.

 

Why should Jongin?

 

“I don’t know.” Jongin answered truthfully, reflecting on the past few days and trying to come up with a response that made sense to anyone other than himself. “I think it’s because you were so cute and odd. No one really does strange antics like you anymore.”

 

Kyungsoo laughed.

 

The moonlight seemed to laugh with him.

 

The ripple in the shoreline proved him right once more.

 

“You were really mean.” Kyungsoo recounted. He remembered how Jongin would say things that made absolutely zero sense.

 

“I know. I’m sorry. I just wasn’t used to you.” Jongin replied, elevating his fingers and resting them on Kyungsoo’s cheek.

 

“Was I your first kiss?” Kyungsoo moved on, gently pressing his hand against Jongin’s on his face and giving it a quiet peck.

 

“Yes.” Jongin’s one word response.

 

His cheeks turned red at the mere mention of how inexperienced he was.

 

“Why are you blushing?” Kyungsoo asked.

 

“Because it’s kind of embarrassing.” Jongin breathed out.

 

He held Kyungsoo’s hand in his and lead it toward a stray firefly.

 

They seemed to like him just as the monarchs did.

 

Jongin didn’t find it surprising.

 

“Why is it embarrassing?” Kyungsoo’s eyes twinkled in the dark.

 

Jongin swore Kyungsoo was a gift.

 

“Just because.” Jongin began. “I don’t really talk much. I don’t get feelings often. I don’t do stuff like this.” Jongin blushed an even darker shade of crimson.

 

He didn’t know if that was entirely possible at this point.

 

Kyungsoo saw right through his façade, the grinning smirks and sly winks for nothing.

 

“I like you like this.” Kyungsoo wasn’t afraid to admit, looking directly into Jongin’s crystal brown orbs.

 

Jongin wanted nothing more than to take Kyungsoo home with him and sleep right beside him on the living room carpet, struggling to stay awake while watching movies all night.

 

Jongin doesn’t even remember a time he’s ever had feelings as strong as these, if ever.

 

“I think you’re cool. Sometimes funny. Other times crazy.” Kyungsoo smiled, sweetly tucking his head into Jongin’s chest and folding his arms in Jongin’s embrace.

 

Jongin’s only reaction was to hold him tighter.

 

Because he knew he loved Kyungsoo.

 

“I’m not crazy.” Jongin tried to feign hurt, only to end up being bitten on the chest by Kyungsoo.

 

Jongin screeched.

 

“Ow! What was that?!” He deadpanned, pulling Kyungsoo away and eyeing him oddly.

 

Kyungsoo just laughed innocently in his hold.

 

“Yes, you are crazy.” Kyungsoo interlaced his fingers into Jongin’s, leading him toward nowhere in particular as they began a late stroll.

 

“Prove it.” Jongin challenged.

 

“When I met you, you said really off things. Almost like your brain was in reverse.” Kyungsoo fished through his memories and vaguely placed the first sunny morning in which he had met Jongin.

 

 “Where are we going?” Jongin changed the topic swiftly, taking in his surroundings and noting how they weren’t really going anywhere in particular.

 

Just circles.

 

Kyungsoo and all his little things.

 

“Nowhere.” Kyungsoo replied, turning them around once more. “You are my Neverland and we shall go on adventures together.”

 

Jongin caught a hint of where this was getting at.

 

“Wendy!” Jongin faked an accent a little too dramatically, leaving Kyungsoo on his side practically dying of laughter. “Do you see that beyond the horizon? It’s Captain Hook!”

 

Kyungsoo wrapped both arms around Jongin’s waist and gave him a hug from behind.

 

“The moment you doubt whether you can fly, you cease forever to be able to do it!” Jongin quoted directly from Barrie’s novel.

 

He hoped the way he remembered it was correct.

 

Jongin bent over and managed to hold both of Kyungsoo’s legs in his arms as the latter jumped up and onto his back.

 

Kyungsoo was lighter than he thought.

 

“Off to Neverland!” Jongin screamed, harboring precious cargo on his back as Kyungsoo giggled and squealed and hung on for dear life at whatever on Earth Jongin was doing.

 

Jongin rushed toward this direction, then that, and then back again.

 

“Second star to the right and straight on til’ morning!” Kyungsoo quoted back, not entirely sure why this Peter Pan he was riding on was one hell of a terrible navigator.

 

“Yes, Wendy dear.” Jongin obliged, running straight near nowhere in particular.

 

“What are you doing?” Kyungsoo giggled as the gush of the breeze flew over his head.

 

He could hear it in his ears.

 

The winds were so happy.

 

They were so happy they had found the night to love.

 

Just like Kyungsoo had found Jongin.

 

“What are you talking about, Wendy?” Jongin craned his neck and smirked at Kyungsoo from the side. “I’m taking you to Neverland.”

 

“Isn’t that too far?” Kyungsoo played along swiftly in his character.

 

“Nowhere is ever too far for my darling Wendy. I’ll take her through storm and snow if I have to.” Jongin nodded resolutely.

 

“My name’s not Wendy, Peter.” Kyungsoo enacted a stage performance of himself mixed in with the Disney character.

 

“Oh?” Jongin stopped in mid-run, admiring the view from the bend of the river below.

 

“My name is Kyungsoo. You are Jongin. You have been brainwashed into thinking your name is Peter. We live in Neverland together and I love you.”

 

Kyungsoo finished with a light peck on Jongin’s shoulder.

 

Jongin held Kyungsoo’s legs to support him on his back.

 

“Do you mean it Kyungsoo?” Jongin asked, looking up and finding a star that smiled down at him.

 

“I thought you were Peter.” Kyungsoo teased.

 

“Do you mean it, Wendy?” Jongin continued, lifting his head as far as he could backward.

 

Kyungsoo could smell the familiar scent of summer rain on Jongin’s hair.

 

That smell he had come to love so much.

 

“Yes, I mean it.” Kyungsoo retorted, adjusting his posture on Jongin’s backside and clinging onto the latter even tighter.

 

“Let’s go to Neverland, Jongin.”

 

“As you wish, Sunlight.” Jongin straightened out, carefully strolling around the bridge toward the end of the bend and passed the walnut tree.

 

“What is Neverland to you, Peter?” Kyungsoo asked curiously, hiding his true intentions by pretending to still be in character.

 

“Neverland isn’t a place.” Jongin replied, plain and simple.

 

“Then what is it?” Kyungsoo inquired, listening to the crickets chirp in the hours of the evening.

 

“It’s you.”

 

They had stopped talking just in time for Jongin to reach the road that lead over the incline of the river.

 

The complexes were looming just overhead.

 

Kyungsoo didn’t want to say goodbye but he knew he had to.

 

As much as he’d like to pretend, these dates with Jongin were never eternal and he would have to return to the real world again some day.

 

Jongin slid Kyungsoo off his back and proceeded to bid him goodnight.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Kyungsoo.” Jongin lifted the Sunlight’s hand and pressed a honeyed kiss against it.

 

“I love you, Moonlight.” Kyungsoo ran up and captured Jongin in a soft embrace.

 

“I love you more, Sunlight.”