Every day is a brand new beginning. The sun never fails to rise to the sky and spreads its warm light to the world. He should feel optimistic about it. He used to love the sun so much, but now, it was nothing but a symbol of broken dreams and fading memories. No matter how bright the sunlight was on his skin, it still felt inexplicably dark. Coldness grips his heart. It freezes his insides and claims his soul. He barely feels like he is alive. He’s breathing but yet, he’s not. Perhaps, Junsu wonders, this is how you feel when you watch someone you love die each day.

He does not know what to do. He is fast running out of ideas. Being in this industry, he knows he is supposed to be used to the sight of depression. In all rights, he should know what to do. He certainly has seen friends succumb to that mental disease. He should be experienced but Junsu is clueless and he does not know what to do.

He sees it each day, consuming Jaejoong till there is nothing left of him. He looks at the dead shell of his friend. He sees the pain hidden beneath his eyes. He wishes he could tell him that everything will get better but he knows it would not. Instead, he keeps his silence and lets the words choke him from within.

Days bleed into months and months bleed into years. Jaejoong shows no sign of getting better. In fact, he is getting worse. In the past, Yoochun’s beer sharing sessions with him would earn Yoochun a weak smile on Jaejoong’s face. Now, the act has dropped and Jaejoong does not smile anymore.

It is those days that Junsu feels like screaming. The rage explodes from him and he belts his voice out till his throat is raw and sore. He lets the sweat drench his skin as he dance furiously, his heart pounding with each musical beat. It is only when he is performing that he feels remotely alive, like the energetic Junsu he once was. The bubbling laughter rises to his chest and his pride grows at the increasing applauses he receives from the fans, his face beaming at their cheers. It is all good, until the cheers fade into silence and he notices the empty spaces beside him and the pride he feels vanishes instantly as he gulps to hold his tears back, barely suppressing the sob within. Yes, Junsu thought ironically, only he knows, he is dying inside with each performance done. Performing on stage has now turned into a nightmare instead of a daydream. Bowing on stage, Junsu looks down at his shadow; the only one formed on the stage. The sinking feeling returns to his chest as Junsu laughs with all his might, ignoring the tears that are rolling down his cheeks. Perhaps Jaejoong isn’t the only one. Perhaps they all are.

They all are going crazy.

It is the only explanation he can give and the only reason the phone card is trembling in his hand right now. He sees the number printed on the card but his vision goes far beyond that scrap of paper. He sees it as an exit, as a means of escape. Junsu shakes his head. No, it was their only means of escape, the only way they could get out of this endless cycle of grief. Thanking Eunhyuk with a faint nod of his head, Junsu got up, pushing the chair back by a few metres. The door closes behind him as he leaves the café, the coffee still warm in his hands. Smoke from the coffee fogged up his spectacles as he peers at the phone card through his blurred vision. Right there and then, Junsu decides he will not back away from this again. Clenching his fists, Junsu strides into the carpark and marches to his car, turning the key in its ignition site. He will not let his pride get in the way of this. Nothing was going to stop him until he gets the reunion Junsu knows they all deserve. Stepping on the gas pedal, Junsu drove away, never noticing that for once in his life, the sunlight filtering through his car windows did not make him cry. Instead, the light illuminated his face, revealing the faint smile tugging at the ends of his lips.

Perhaps everything is really going to be alright.

“Junsu,” Jaejoong utters, bringing Junsu’s attention back to the present, “What’s going on now?” Behind him, Yoochun stays silent, his eyes staring blankly at the café in front of him.

Junsu smiles, holding out his hand to Jaejoong as he opens the door and jostles the bells hanging on the door handle.

“A miracle is what’s going on now.” Junsu replies, his hand still out as an invitation.

And as the trio enters the café with a silent Yoochun tagging behind them, Junsu’s smile widens as flabbergasted looks spread across the room, the fading sounds of tinkling bells echoing in the distance.

“Hello Yunho hyung and Changmin,” he speals, breaking the tense silence among the five men that were gathered together, “I bet you weren’t expecting to see us here.”

“You see, I wasn’t expecting this meeting either you know,” Junsu shakes his head at the disbelieving stares he is receiving, “I may have been the one who orchestrated this reunion but that doesn’t mean that this does not surprise me at all.”

Gesturing for them to sit, Junsu pours coffee for all, ignoring the glares directed at him, “I’ve thought about it for a while. Will we ever meet one another again? Will we even acknowledge one another’s presence? I feel conflicted, knowing that we’re near each other but we’re never going to meet. I know I’m not the only one who wants this. We may have been separated but I believe the hearts we have are still as one so I...”

“Don’t even start.” Changmin interrupts immediately, “Don’t you dare speak like the separation hurt you. You all started this. You all left without reasons so don’t go blaming us.”

“And you would know everything huh?” Yoochun shouts back, “How can you be so sure we don’t have a reason? I don’t believe for a second you can even comprehend what’s going on in our hearts.”

“Yes, I don’t know. I don’t know a damn thing. But how can I know when you never said a single word hyung? How am I supposed to know that you’re suffering inside if you never did say a damn thing?”

At that, the table turned silent. Changmin’s lips purses in irritation while Yoochun’s face flushes with anger. The tense silence returns and Junsu feels his heart pounding wildly in his chest. For the first time in many years, Junsu sees hope. The band was broken beyond belief but it was not unsalvageable. With enough time and patience, Junsu believes they are really going to make it through. He can actually see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Smiling, Junsu is just about to break the silence when Yunho clears his throat abruptly, glancing at Jaejoong’s pale pallor as he did so.

“I’m going to order us some food before we talk,” Yunho speaks as he looks through the menu on the table, “What would you all like to eat?”

They all stare at him blankly in response.

“I’ll just order the usual then.” Yunho remarks as he signals for a waitress to serve them. Junsu gapes in shock. He does not know what to be surprised about; the fact that Yunho got all their orders correct or the fact that they even had a ‘usual’ menu when it came to cafés.

Or perhaps he got it all wrong, for certainly, Junsu thinks, nothing can be more surprising than this. Goggling with eyes wide open, Junsu watches on as Yunho places a strawberry cake on Jaejoong’s plate when the food arrives, his eyes showing concern as he did so.

“You still don’t remember to eat breakfast huh?” Yunho comments as Jaejoong’s eyes widens in shock, “Don’t forget to take care of yourself, boo.”

The water works starts the moment Yunho utters those words. Uncontrollably, Jaejoong starts to tear, much to the horror of Junsu and the other four band mates. Like a broken water tap, Jaejoong’s tears flow freely, interrupted occasionally by the soft sniffles of his sobs.

At that sight, Junsu’s jaw drops to the ground. He will not lie. Junsu fully anticipates Jaejoong’s tears. It is a reunion long awaited after all. Knowing his hyung, Jaejoong is sure to get emotional over this, especially when Changmin and Yunho mean so much to him. What Junsu did not expect, however, is the reason that would be behind Jaejoong’s tears. Despite knowing that Yunho and Changmin still care about them, Junsu cannot help the doubts in his mind that perhaps, just perhaps, the last few years were just folly on their parts and them believing in a love that was unreal. Yet, to see it being proven to him (and them) through Yunho’s actions and to realize that the love among them is so steadfastly true, it is mind-blowing. It stirs up something in him and just like that, Junsu finds his world shattering as it explodes into light, shining through every dark corner he never knew existed in his heart.

“You idiot,” Changmin admonishes Yunho immediately, startling Junsu out of his reverie as he turns to Changmin in shock, “Now you’ve made Jaejoong hyung cry.”

To Junsu’s astonishment, Yunho nods in acceptance of Changmin’s criticism. Yunho did not even seem displeased by Changmin’s remark. Instead, the tentative smile on Yunho’s face disappears and Yunho reaches out, holding Jaejoong’s hands in his left hand as his right one gently brushes Jaejoong’s tears away.

“Don’t make Changmin scold me, Jaejoong ah,” Yunho jokes as he stares intensely into Jaejoong’s eyes with concern, “He’s a scary person when he’s angry.”

At those words, Jaejoong’s tears come to a stop and are replaced with a faint smile instead, chasing all lingering sadness away. Simpering, Junsu watches the four men around him with contentment in his heart. Yes, Junsu thinks as he looks at Changmin ferociously gorging on the food before him and the firm hold Yunho has on Jaejoong’s arms, they are really going to be alright. Interlacing his hands with Yoochun’s, Junsu smiles, leaning his head on Yoochun’s shoulder as the sunlight filters through the window and illuminate the smiles on their faces.

“Oh my God, sun!” he whispers to himself, sticking his tongue out as Changmin glares at him for the butchering of his favorite language. For the first time in many years, Junsu greets the sun with happiness as he soaks up the warm light it has to offer.

He doesn’t want to jinx it but for once, Junsu really thinks that they have found happiness once again.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading my story. :) Kajima Yunho yah will be updated soon~ :DD