Title : Jet Lag
Summary : Because Yoonji felt tired. 
Genre : Angst? 
Pairing : Daehyun x Yoonji 

01.15 AM

Yoonji shifted her body on the empty bed. She felt so tired yet she couldn't sleep. Her hand still gripping her phone. Hoped it would vibrate eventually.

When finally her phone was vibrating, it was already 3 in the morning.

"Hello..." She greeted huskily.

"Yoonji-ah... It's me" a solemn voice heard and Yoonji could feel her heart ached and fluttered at the same time.

"Daehyunnie..." She whispered weakly. 

"I'm here, Yoonji-ah..." His voice was clear and Yoonji's heart ached even more.

No. Her heart answered. You were not.

"I miss you..." Another whisper from Yoonji.

"I know..." Yoonji guessed Daehyun was smiling now.

"I miss you too..."

Yoonji tried to blink because her vision was getting dangerously blurry.

"Yoonji-ah... I know I suppose to be home tomorrow..." Daehyun started with a guilty tone.

And Yoonji knew what would he say next.

"But the company decided to extend our concert to Dallas and Chicago."

"I'm sorry..."

Come back here. Yoonji's heart screamed.

"I need to rest, Daehyunnie." Instead, she said that. 

"See you soon..." But Yoonji didn't know how soon was that soon.

"I love you..." Daehyun spoke sincerely.

But it only made Yoonji's tear finally fell.

****

When Yoonji said yes to dating Daehyun, she never thought it would be that hard.

She meant, although Daehyun was artist, she trusted the latter that what they had was real. His love for her was real and vice versa. 

But as the time passed, when BAP became one of the most valuable kpop artist, Yoonji backed to questioning her decision.

BAP's tour concert was unavoidable and what made things  worse was because it was America tour since their fans were mostly from western.

It wasn't that she didn't grateful that Daehyun got all that popularity. It was just... When the nights turned too cold and the missing became too torturing. It was just too much for her.

And yet Daehyun was still not there. Hugged her when she was cold or kissed her when she missed him so bad.

And when finally Daehyun returned after one full month being away, Yoonji couldn't help but feeling scare for being left again.

"I won't leave you anymore." He firmly stated as they lied on their bed one night. Yoonji was lying on Daehyun's arm as a pillow.

Yoonji knew it was a lie. It was definitely a lie because sooner or later, he would leave for another concert. 

But as Daehyun stirred his body, topped her and his eyes stared at her lustfully, Yoonji knew she believed that lie.

****

BAP's next concert came again after 8 months. Yoonji actually had expected it but it still hurt her inside because it wasn't only an America's concert.

"They said it is continental concert." Daehyun said with a hint of happiness in his voice.

Yoonji couldn't return with anything because she scared when she said something it would be bad.

"Okay." Finally she responded. She was making them dinner -fish soup and fried egg- when Daehyun told her that.

Daehyun approached her and sat on the pantry table.

"Just... Okay?" 

Yoonji still didn't meet his eyes. "What should I say, then?" She said a bit annoyed.

Daehyun looked at her in distaste. "You seem so pissed. What's wrong?"

Yoonji shook her head. "Nothing's wrong." she replied.

Us. That what's wrong.

Daehyun jumped and hugged her. "You know I love you, right?" He muttered and Yoonji could smell his scent.

Weakly, she nodded.

"So..." He released her but still gripped her shoulders, poked her nose sweetly. 

"Just have a faith in me." He seriously said. "Okay?"

Yoonji nodded absentmindedly and let herself to be hugged again by Daehyun. She closed her eyes as she lingered her arms around him. Scented his musky smell.

Because the problem was not because she didn't have faith in him. It was certainly because she didn't have faith in herself.

***
Firstly, everything was just fine. They tried to communicate as soon as Daehyun possible to call her or even he was too tired to call, he always tried to text her frequently.

And a month passed by like a breeze.

In the second month the missing was getting too strong for Yoonji liking and it frequently made her crying until she sleep in Daehyun's pajama. 

From as soon as Daehyun could phone call it changed to be a daily phone call. And the result of that was a very miserable Yoonji because heck, she missed him so much. Her campus was pretty boring these past weeks so she just particularly had nothing to do except missing Daehyun too much 

Oh. Maybe, thinking about Daehyun too often, too.

But the phone call didn't always work as they hopefully thought, too. 

That was because that ty thing called time differences. Because it was so hard when Daehyun woke up in the morning and in their apartment was one in the morning. Because it was so maddening when Yoonji had nothing to do after classes in the afternoon but she couldn't get to call Daehyun because in there was almost midnight.

It made her feel jet lag.

She felt jet lag as she couldn't see him waking up. She felt jet lag as she couldn't say good morning to him (of course, it was midnight when Daehyun said good morning). She felt jet lag as she couldn't do anything to change it.

And even though Daehyun didn't say it out loud, he felt the same tiredness too.

As more as Yoonji tried to understand at their situation, as more as her chest hurt and ached.

And as more as Yoonji wanted to hold on, as more as she wanted to give up and leave.

****

Today was supposed to be the day he returned home but Daehyun didn't.

The concert was extend for the couple of the days (Daehyun texted her) so the latter wouldn't be home until then.

And Yoonji once again tried to understand even though she knew her heart was torn apart between staying and leaving.

Unfortunately, the lecturer just gave her an essay by tomorrow. Great. What such a bad day.

Yoonji was still writing about how bullying could effect personality in the future when her phone finally vibrate. She looked upon the clock, it strike 2 past several minutes.

"Hallo." She exhaustingly greeted.

"Yoonji-ah... It's me." How funny Yoonji thought Daehyun was because of course even she didn't recognize the number, she recognized his voice.

"Daehyunnie..." She mumbled.

"You haven't sleep, have you?"
Daehyun asked tried to sound casually but Yoonji could sense something was wrong.

"What's wrong, Daehyunnie?" She asked demandingly.

"Ah.. Hm..." He mumbled incoherently.

Yoonji didn't respond. She was just waiting.

"About... My concert..." He finally said it.

Yoonji could feel something awful was going to be uttered but she tried to compose herself. 

"Your concert. Right." She mumbled. "You are coming back the next day after tomorrow, aren't you?"

Please. Say yes.

"They... Said it would be Singapore, Japan and some other countries." 

Yap. Something awful.

"How many countries?" She tried not to sound so broke.

"Around... 7 or more."

Yoonji curled her fist. The disappointment turning into an anger.

"How long?" She almost gritted her teeth.  

Daehyun didn't answer. He took several some seconds to finally mad Yoonji explode as he said.

"A month."

"Aren't you tired, Daehyunnie?" Trembling, she snapped.

"T-tired?" 

"Yeah." She shot. "Aren't you tired of this? Of us?"

"Lee Yoonji!" He spatted harshly. 

Silent.

"Lee Yoonji, listen to me-"

"No. Jung Daehyun. You listen." Yoonji interrupted.

"I'm tired. I'm mad. I'm screwed." She sobbed as she managed to say.

"I'm tired of us. I'm mad with you. I'm screwed because you screwed everything!!" She shouted in anguish.

"Yoonji-ah..." Daehyun called out softly.

"I'm sorry." 

Yoonji lowered her head and wiped the cheeks.

"It's not like you could fix it, though." Yoonji mumbled.

And then silent. A deadly silent that no one dared to break.

"Let's just break up."

Finally. Finally Yoonji said those cruel words.

"Yoonji-ah... I know you are upset and all..." Daehyun tried again. "I love you... Yoonji-ah I love you... Please..."

She let a tear fell.

"Let's end this here." She managed to say and not sounded too broke.

"Goodbye, Daehyunnie. I wish you a great life."

And klik. She hung up.

And Yoonji couldn't help, as she hugged her knee, sobbing hard, to think that it was bitterly funny because their 2 years of love stories ended with just a ing phone call.

*****

Daehyun was still hanging his cellphone even all he could hear was just that steady corny sound.

"Daehyun-hyung..." Zelo's voice sounded a bit worry because the blankness of his hyung.

"Daehyunnie.... Daehyunnie...." Himchan now was trying to shake his body but nothing was getting responded.

Daehyun only stood there and suddenly his phone slipped away and fell.

Almost broke if Youngjae didn't skillfully catch it in the right moment.

"She... Left." Finally he voiced out.

Everyone turned silent. Even Bang Yongguk, who usually just stayed away from their trouble and always reminded them for being professional was now looking at him with a concern look.

"Are.. Are you okay?" Jongup, hesitantly asked.

Daehyun didn't answer. His hand trembling. And he couldn't do anything when Youngjae, pulled him into an embrace.

"It's going to be alright...."

Everyone hugged him and said those words.

But Daehyun didn't know anything but broken heart.

******

Yoonji sobbed and sobbed until she felt like her tears were all gone. She looked at the clock. 4 in the morning.

Absentmindedly, she tried to get up, and walked to the bed room. She took put her suitcase and started packing her stuff.

She did it really quickly but her body were frequently stiffened and stopped packing. Wiping her tears and moving again.

When finally Yoonji finished with her belonging, she dragged her suitcase to the door.

She gazed to the entire apartment. It still smelled like a home to her. The fragrance scent was still calming. 

Sighing sadly, she put the envelope at the table near the rack where she usually put the letters. 

Slowly, she opened the door and stepped out from Daehyun's apartment.

But for Yoonji herself, it was like stepping out from Daehyun's life.

******
Dear Daehyunnie.

If you read this, it means I already somewhere and you shouldn't look for me.

And that's mean I left you.

Actually, I didn't hope we would be apart ever or I had to go somewhere without you.

But I just felt like writing this. Just because.

Today was our first year anniversary and you were just sleeping soundly at our bed when I was here facing your sleepy peaceful face while writing this.

Daehyunnie....

I don't know what will happen next after you got your debut 2 weeks later. You probably won't have much time again.

You would busy practicing, encoring, and doing concert or promoting your song.

That's mean I will be miss you a lot. 

Like, really a lot.

But... Daehyun...

If... Just if.... One day I can't be beside you.

One day I no longer be with you welcoming you at home or hugging you while you sleep, I just want you to know.

I want you to know that even I leave or I am not here anymore, that does not mean I am not love you or stop loving you. (Loving you is the rightest thing I've done and there is no way back.)

Because when I leave that's mean I love you... A way too much until it hurts me.

Because when I can't be here with you anymore, that's mean I expect you to be mine.... A way too much until it damages me.

So... If it (i hope not) really does happen, please... Just don't blame yourself for my leaving.

Because you had loved me the way I never imagined to be loved.

But it was just me who couldn't get enough of it.

Goodbye, Daehyunnie oppa. 
I love you.

 

 

P.s ; happy first anniversary, mr. Cheescake. I woof you!!!

-lee yoonji.

 

END