it’s 4:30 and time doesn’t move

everytime i think about you

fear consumes me

and i feel sick

………….

“thats good, taekwoon. you really put your emotion into the painting” the instructor said as she walked around inspecting the class’ similar yet varied paintings of a woodland scene

i stared intently at my painting,letting the brush hit the canvas freely

i’d never been a painter but somehow wine made me into some sort of renaissance artist

“very soulful...it’s like your heart is in your fingertips “ a voice from over shoulder said

i tilted my head towards the voice to find a raven haired male, he held his glass wine in one hand and hips in the other

“is that really what you think?” i asked him, intrigued by his comment

“i really love how you juxtapositioned the trees and the night sky.. its eerie yet serene” he said taking a sip of wine

“hongbin, by the way” he took his hand from his hip and reached it out towards me

“taekwoon”

I  don’t think i regret any day in my life more than that one.

“are you coming, taekwoon? I really want to grab a coffee before work today.” Hongbin said as he put on his jacket and reached for the door

“coming” i shuffled towards him

walking out the door of our studio apartment, i wrapped my arm his waist and pulled him closer to me

i knew he wasn’t the overtly-affectionate type but i couldn’t help it

i just felt like everyone needed to know he was mine

or else

he wouldn't be in my arms the next day

“skinny caramel espresso with extra foam please” hongbin said naturally, he’d been ordering the same drink ever since we met, it had been months

“ black coffee for me” i said flatly

i heard hongbin sigh next to me

“ what a boring drink. what happened to all the excitement in your life?” he said in a joking tone but somehow i knew he wasn’t entirely joking

“ you’re all the excitement i need” i replied with a smirk

he turned towards me and gave me a weak smile

i felt my chest  clench