Where Are You Now?

You said it’ll be okay. I tried my best to believe you, Jiyong-hyung. But then, I don’t. I can’t. I won’t. Because everything that’s happening right now is the exact opposite of your promise to me.

Seungri-yah, it’s just for publicity. I need this to tear their eyes away from us. Please, believe me when I say it’s just you. It’s only you.

I can hear it over and over in my voice mail. That promise you gave me. You told me, hyung. You told me, tomorrow will be different. Things will go our way, too. You told me it’s just me. It’ll always be me.

But where are you now?

I’ve been waiting for you only to find out you arrived with her. You said, it’s marketing strategy. You said she’s just in on it for her career and that you’re in on it to hide us….

Is there still an us until now, hyung?

When was the last time I saw you? I can’t even remember the last time we held each other. I can’t even recall when was our last conversation.

Where are you now?

You’re with her. You’re with her and you haven’t given me any word of assurance since that promise. Your promise which is very much nonexistent by now.

Everything changed, hyung. You said it’s up to you. I don’t have to worry about anything. But no, it’s the polar opposite of what you said.

Kwon Ji Yong, you said I’m the one. Did that change now, too?

I want to believe you when you said everything will be fine. I want to believe in you because you use to never fail in whatever promise you’ve given me. Did that change now, too? Can I still trust your words, hyung?

I love you, Seungri-yah

And as I cry my eyes out repeating this recorded message from you. Of how everything will be alright, my heart was torn into two. Because everything isn’t alright. I’m here all by myself listening to this goddamn voice message of yours while you hang out with her of all people.

I don't know how I'll feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day

And we’ll never be the same….