I'm a hard person to love. I know that since I was a child. I was the kid who the others don't play with. I was the child who eats on his own at the farthest end of the room. I was that child who was abandoned by his own parents because life is harsh and I'm nothing but a load of burden. I was that child that no one gives a to. I was that child.

Well, until a couple came with their bright smiles and warm eyes. They took me home. I was accepted, fed, clothed and loved. Everything was perfect. Then a year later, I met you, precious beautiful perfect you.

You were so so fragile. Skin white as milk. Eyes round and big like the moon. Lips red as cherries.

I loved you then and I have the feeling that I will love you still in the far future.

"Isn't he beautiful?" Mother asked me and I nodded without hesitation. Mother turned to me, eyes bright and full of love. "You'll protect and look after our little angel, right?"

I smiled widely. "I promise, Mother. That's what big brothers are for."

Years passed and I was doing a great job fulfilling my promise. I was the perfect brother - our neighbors and your friends said so.

I was eighteen and you were twelve when mother and father died. It was an accident. The house beside ours caught fire and our home too and four more were burnt to ashes. Seven people died in the incident, our parents included. We moved out and bought an apartment unit near the central city.

For months, we struggled so badly but it brought us closer - too close. Every night, you would knock on my door and ask if we can sleep together because you were afraid that I'll be taken away from you too. And like every night, I would smile and scoot closer to the wall to make space for you. "C'mon, it's getting late. We have school tomorrow."

I was twenty-four and you were eighteen when I met Krystal. She was alluring, matured, sweet and just everything a man can ask for. I brought her home one night so you could meet her. I expected for you two to get along well because we like -love- the same things so it threw me off to the wall when you cried and ran up to your room. I turned to apologize to Krystal and say that you were not usually like that and that we caught you in a bad time but none of that left my mouth when my eyes landed on the kimchi spaghetti, cake and 'happy birthday' pasted on the wall.

It was your birthday and I totally forgot.

You ignored me for days.

I broke it off with Krystal.

You never knocked on my door again.

I was thirty and you were twenty four when you told me you wanted to move out, have your own place and live on your own.

I could only nod and see