Part II/III

“I really like you too, Yifan.”

“I’ll cook your favorite food when you’re coming back for holiday.”

“Yifan, I love you.”

“Please promise me forever.”

“Yifan, call me when you have time.”

“Yifan, are you busy?”

“Yifan, there is some leftovers in the fridge. Goodnight.”

“You want to break up?”

“So you can’t leave her.”

“Goodbye, Yifan.”

His eyes suddenly shot open from his sleep. It was the same nightmare again, your voice kept ringing in his head and his memories with you haunt him at night. He fell back on to the mattress once he started breathing normally again.

What was wrong with him?

He broke up with you almost eight months ago and he had a beautiful, talented girlfriend in his arm, but he couldn’t get rid of you somehow. He wanted to, but something inside of him definitely was clinging on you.

Maybe it was because of the guilt of betraying you. He promised you forever and he broke that promise like it was nothing. . . But that promise was everything for you. He never got the chance to apologize to you, he said sorry that night but that was not enough. He got a lot more to say and he thought you deserved to listen to his explanation no matter what.

Then maybe he could start living a more peaceful life.

~*~

Yifan never thought he would be walking along your street ever again in his life after he saw you walk trough his door. Even after all these years, he still remembered your address. No one around him knew he was gone to visit you, even his own girlfriend had no idea. He literally jumped on the plane as soon as he woke up. After long hours of journey, he still couldn’t find the ring words to say to you. The thought of leaving and coming back another day passed trough his mind, but he stood there unmoving and for the first time after a long time, he was waiting for you.

You came home late from work again. You never knew being a teacher could be this tiring, but it was probably a good choice for you, considering all of the things that happened in your life in the last few months. After checking about a hundred essays within two days, your eyes were exhausted and you just wanted to eat Chinese food on your bed before falling asleep. Yeah, you were tired, but you still recognized the tall form standing in front of your door as you get closer.

“Yifan?” You called his name and asked yourself at the same time. Did your mind is playing tricks on you? Did you miss him that much and you started to hallucinate?

“H-hey. . .” He said rather awkwardly. Now you know he was really there and you weren’t losing your mind. “How are you?”

Worn out. Confused. Angry. Sad. I miss you terribly, but I hate you for what you did. “I’m fine.” You answered simply.

“Oh, that’s great to hear.” He smiled. It seemed that he was genuinely care for you. “Can we talk for a moment?”

You hesitated to say yes. You were still vulnerable but the man came all the way from China to talk to you, you couldn’t refuse. “Sure, but please come inside. We can’t let people see you with me.” And he agreed.

Once inside, you took off your coat and showed him where the living room was. You told him to make himself comfortable before you went to the kitchen to make him a cup of coffee, just the way he liked it.

Yifan couldn’t believe himself. While he was waiting, he came up with the worst scenarios. He thought you would slam the door on his face, but you didn’t. You let him in. Sitting inside your apartment made the memories become more vivid in his head. He wouldn’t admit it but he missed you too.

“Here’s your drink.” You came back with his coffee. He could smell the aroma, and he recognized it immediately. It was the same coffee that you used to make him and also the same one he used to leave it cold. “So what is it that you want to talk about?”

 “I don’t know where to start actually.” Yifan could feel his cheeks were getting hot. “I know what I did to you was horrible but I can’t seem to forget about you.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What I’m trying to say is. . . Now I know that I did you wrong and believe when I say I’m regretting what I did.” He looked at you in the eyes as he said this. “Can you please, please forgive me?”

So this is what it was all about. He was asking for your forgiveness in order for him to move on with his life. He was living with guilt and he had to get rid of it by apologizing to you. “I’m sorry, I can’t.”

“What?”

“I can’t. . . I can’t forgive you, not now at least.” You tried to explain. “I need time to heal, Yifan.”

“But—”

“I know!” you cut him off. “I know you need my forgiveness, but I can’t and I need you to respect that.”

“But you should know that I’m sorry.” There you go again. “I shouldn’t have done that to you.”

“Why?” You asked as tears slowly rolling down your face. “If you knew it was wrong, why did you do it?”

“It was supposed to be a one time thing!” He said frustratingly. “I didn’t know how it ended up like this.

“I really thought we were fine. . .” You said under your breath. “But maybe I was too in love to notice that we weren’t on the same page.” You scoffed. “I don’t even know if you did love me at all.”

“I loved you—”

“If you loved me, your heart shouldn’t waver for someone else.”

Yifan just sat there quietly, unable to speak. You were right. If he did love you, he wouldn’t be in this position.

You wiped your tears from your face as you stood tall before saying your final words to him. “I think it would be best if you leave now.”

“We could start over.” He said so suddenly. “Come with me, we’ll build a life together and I promise—”

“No. . .” You shook your head as you told yourself you were strong enough for this. “You were all I wanted, but not like this.”

Yifan didn’t say anything but he understood. He turned around to see your face for the last time before he left you without a goodbye and the cup of coffee was once again left untouched.

~*~

Author’s note; You asked for a sequel, I give you the sequel. I’ll post chapter 3 later. I hope you like it. I’m not sure if the ending would be exactly what you want, but I’ll explain about it on chapter 3 :)