The smell of coffee welcomed me as I stepped inside the small café. I often came here to relieve the stress my boss loaded on my back. Today was one of those days. The clock struck 10 in the morning as I ordered my usual cup of coffee. I spotted you in the corner, coffee cup lifted midway, eyebrows furrowed, obviously frustrated by the events that followed in your book. Sensing eyes upon you, you looked up. Our eyes made contact and, as cliché as it sounds, my heart skipped a beat. I diverted my eyes to the floor and shyly turned away, my hair conveniently falling to cover up the pink tinge crawling to my cheeks. I briskly walked away with a warm cup of coffee in my hand. A few days later, I stepped up my game and approached your table. Your eyes sparkled upon my presence, as your sweet smile begun etching itself in my mind. By the time the clock struck 12, I learnt that you were a consultant working a few blocks down from my firm. We exchanged numbers and went our separate ways.

The next time we met you were happily smiling with a twinkle in your eyes as we walked through the town fair. It was a cool night and you only had a thin layer of clothing. I shyly draped my jacket over your shoulders to keep you warm. The wind playfully nipped at my skin, stimulating my rapidly beating heart. As we walked through the fair, my eyes would not leave you. Your luscious locks blew in the wind, intoxicating me with your perfume. I could feel the heat radiating off your hands as I inched mine closer to yours. My thumping heart was beating a nervous mantra, loud in my ears. Taking a leap of faith, I intertwined our hands. Finally. Your soft hands in mine. Blood rushed to my ears as I silently thanked whatever god that was out there for lending me that courage. The moment you turned your head towards me, beautiful smile in place, it felt as if all of time stood still.

Everything froze around me as you walked down the aisle. You appeared before me with the vale covering your face. Little by little I lifted the fragile material, revealing that gorgeous smile I loved. Staring lovingly in your eyes, I swore my eternal love to you. With the two words “I do” your lips sparked a wildfire in my heart as it sealed our marriage, our love contract. We parted with silly grins on our faces as we began on our journey together. Our family applauded us and your smile grew wider. That day, I swore to myself to never let you go.

I opened the door to a dark, empty house… again. The stale air overwhelmed me with desolation. Ever since your boss had offered you a higher position at work, we’ve been spending less and less time together. You spent most of your days cooped up in the office, sorting through papers, trying to impress your boss. Every night I’d hear the door open as you walked in, just as I was on the brink of unconsciousness, only to wake up in the wee hours of the morning to cold sheets beside me. I missed coming home to your warm embrace. I missed seeing my favourite smile. I missed going on our early morning strolls to the beach together, talking about anything and everything. Now our conversations never stray from Hi , Coffee? , No . They always seem to lead to fights, ending with heavy sighs or slamming doors. I’m tired. I’m really tired. Our paths are unravelling fast and I seem to be the only one putting in the effort to support our relationship. It’s frustrating to know that our love is no longer the same as before. It’s frustrating to me that you’re so focused on your work that it’s like you don’t even notice me anymore. It’s frustrating to think that what once was is now no more.

I sensed things were going downhill for you at work. You were coming home earlier now. You would give me a small smile but the bags under your eyes told a different story. You would tell me you were fine, that you were just tired, but I could see right through your façade. Our relationship had come to a point where we only acknowledged each other’s existence. You lifelessly told me you were going for a late night stroll before giving me a kiss on the cheek. Something felt off as we hadn’t shown each other that kind of affection for a while, but I quickly dismissed the thought. As you stepped out the door, regrets began flowing in. My body stood frozen on the ground as I heard a loud bang 5 minutes later. I knew it was coming but I didn’t stop it.  I couldn’t stop it. My feet stood rooted on the ground and my body had grown stiff after not moving for so long. I felt absolutely nothing. My mind was bustling with the thoughts of nothing. The blanket of silence around me was suffocating.

I sit here now at our coffee table, questioning myself. How did our relationship come to this?  I’m reminiscing about how our love blossomed in the past but the butterflies in my stomach have all sunk to the bottom now, along with all our other memories. The cold surface of my stale coffee cup brings comfort to my soulless body as I aimlessly stare at the wall in front of me. The clock struck 10 and I called it a night.

Soooooo that was my first fic... How'd you guys like that? Yay? Nay? Too cringe-y? Constructive criticism or a hi or anything, really, is welcome :)