You turned around, trying to brace yourself for what you were about to see, but nothing could prepare you for this.

Jongin stood right in front of you with his eyes wide in shock. A couple of tears dripped from his eyes, only to slide down his cheeks as an equally shocked Kyungsoo, Baekhyun, Joonmyun and Chanyeol ran out behind him. Jongin stepped forward slowly. Each step made more and more tears fall from his beautiful eyes, trying to deal with the idea that it was indeed you.

He was there right in front of you, so close, like some sort of dream.

“STOP! You can’t do this again! She doesn’t even remember falling in love with you.” Grabbing your hand, your friend pulled you away from the new arrivals.

“You don’t love me?” Jongin asked.

Your heart was beating extremely fast and the only reaction you could only blurt out the only thing on your mind.

“I don’t remember.” You stuttered, feeling like a useless disappointment in the scene you had always wished to come true.

“You will love me again.” Jongin said. Moving closer to you, tears continued to fall from his face. You could feel the sincerity dripping from his voice but you just didn’t know. You really didn’t know.                                                      

“NO, SHE CAN’T! YOU CHEATED ON HER AND YOU ARE THE CAUSE OF ALL OF THIS!” Your friend shocked Jongin and Baekhyun into jumping with her loud, booming commands.

Some bodyguards ran out with some fans following behind, to see their perfect idols up close. Before you knew it you and your friend had been dragged backstage with the EXO members themselves. However, not without convincing. The bodyguards immediately spotted you both and hurried to usher you out of the building, but Jongin had insisted we were close friends of theirs.

In all the commotion, everyone had finally stopped crying. Which you were thankful for, until you realised that they had instead decided to redirect their attention to you. They may have thought you were dead but their piercing stares were so intense you could psychically feel yourself squirm on the spot.

“I’m sorry _____. It’s all my fault and I just wish I could make it up to you.” Jongin pleaded, “I missed you so much and I’m not going to stand here attempting to explain and defend my actions because what I did was completely wrong. I’ve never regretted anything as much in my entire life. I’ve never regretted anything much as I did losing you, the person who meant - and still means - the world to me. I love you so, so much, ____, I really do. Could you find it in your heart to give me one last chance to make it up to you?”

Jongin looked at you with promising eyes and you couldn’t help but break down some of your defence. One chance wouldn’t hurt, right?

“NO! They’re no way you can make it up to her! Don’t you think you’ve done enough?” Your friend wanted the best for you. She didn’t want you to get hurt again but you believed it wouldn’t. One chance.

“Wait,” You said, causing everyone to turn their eyes to you, “I want to remember. I just can’t forget such a big part of my life. In fact, I don’t want to remember, I need to remember.”

“But-” Your friend began, only to cut herself off with a sigh, “Okay. You can remember, but promise me one thing.”

“What?” You asked.

“If you get your heart broken, I can say I told you so.” A small smile tugged at the corner of your friend’s lips and you could feel your own do the same. Nodding in acceptance you turned back to Jongin.

“Well, the first plan of saving your memory is meeting up with you tomorrow. Would that be okay? This is the address and- oh! My phone number is on there too for emergencies.” Jongin handed you a slip of paper, scribbling of his name, address and number.

You nodded again with a final smile before turning to walk away. Just before you left the room you felt arms wrap tightly around your waist.

“ One final thing, I love you ___.” Jongin mumbled against your neck.

But, you just couldn’t force yourself to say it back.

~

‘This place must be nearby’ you think, as you searched for the address Jongin gave you the day before.

Because your friend refused to cooperate, you were made to wander the streets and find it yourself. She was always the best with navigation but you couldn’t convince her to help you. It was easy to say she was still in a bad mood from yesterday, you believed you should have been the moodier one but you weren’t going to start saying that as she ranted on and on about how you shouldn’t go today. It was good enough that she didn’t lock the door and barricade you from leaving the house.

“A corner shop?” You muttered as you arrived at the address.

An old lady stood at the till and greeted you without looking up as you suspiciously stepped into the store. ‘Am I in the right place?’ you asked yourself, flicking your eyes around the store. The lady finally looked up, meeting your confused gaze. Eyes widening in shock, she drops the money causing you to rush over to help you pick it back up.

“____?”

Your confusion grew more. How did this woman know your name?

“Yes? I’m sorry, but do I know you?” You asked.

“_____, is that really you?” The old lady retorted, now matching your confused eyes with an equally confused expression.

“Grandma!” Says a voice from behind you. Turning, you see Jongin with a big smile on his face.

“Hello, Jongin. How is _____ here? Am I seeing a ghost? Why doesn’t she know who I am?” The old lady was clearly panicking. Question after question left her lips until it got to the point she looked like she would have a heart attack.

“Grandma! Calm down. It’s ok. _____ is real. She never died, she just lost her memory.” Motioning to you, you stepped forward to help Jongin move the old lady to the nearest seat.

“Sorry.” You said, somehow feeling guilty of making this lady worry so much. You bow to the old lady and she seemed to be calming down. Jongin rubbed her back and reassured her that everything is okay.

“It’s ok, you didn’t know.” Jongin said as he tried to reach for your hand. You pull away.

Silence.

A moment later, the lady speaks up.

“What do you remember? Why were we told you were dead?” Mostly happiness filled the grandmother’s face, but flickers of anger and worry still remained.

“I don’t remember anything about Jongin or meeting EXO. All I remember is coming to Korea and some sort of boat accident, but I didn’t know that I was involved in any of that. I guess my friend was angered with the relationship between Jongin and I, so she and my mum thought it would be a good idea if you didn’t know.” You looked at your feet the whole time, not wanting to make eye contact with the old lady.

“And why would they be unhappy with your relationship? You two are perfect for each other! Jongin was so happy with you, like madly in love. I was even jealous!” The old lady said, looking at you with disbelief.

Looking at Jongin with a worried look on your face, you pleaded him to continue.

“Grandma, it was my fault. I kissed another girl and before I could explain or regret what I did, _____ was already in the water. I know I did a really bad thing. I guess when I’m drunk I get a little out of control. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.” Jongin didn’t know how his Grandmother would feel about this. He looked up to meet his Grandmother’s eyes before-

SLAP!

Shock stretched across your features a you just witnessed the sudden action of Jongin being slapped my the old lady. Breaking out into tears, his grandmother stood there in utter fury.

“How could you do this?! Your relationship was perfect! I am so sorry _____.” She said suddenly.

Grabbing your hand, she held it tight like she never wanted to let it go. Or perhaps it was with the fear you were going to leave again. You had no clue but you held back equally as tight.

“It’s not your fault. I’m sorry that I don’t remember you.” Your eyes cast downward again before returning back to the woman’s face. You wanted to know more.

”Were we close?” You asked. The old lady relaxed at your voice.

“Yes, of course, dear. I only knew you for a short amount of time, but you felt like a daughter to me. Jongin really messed up with this one, do you love him anymore?”

Honestly, the answer caught in your throat. You just couldn’t say it.

“...No, I can’t right now. I mean, he’s good looking and everything and I would be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him, but I don’t remember falling in love with him. We met today to try and regain my memory.” You said, trying to sound as nice as possible. The old lady accepted your answer with a nod.

“Jongin! Stop looking so surprised, I didn’t hit you that hard!” The old lady huffed as Jongin still had his hand on his face in shock.

“Grandma, can you help us regain her memory?” Jongin asked.

“Of course I can. First of all, why don’t I get you two some ramyeon. Like the old times.” The old lady now sounded more cheerful and you felt yourself perk up alongside her.

Sitting down on the seat Jongin ever-so-kindly pulled out for you, you listened as Jongin recalled your past memories at this spot.

“We always sat here. It gets just the right amount of sun and if you look really closely on a clear day, you can see the Namsan Tower. I always argued with you that it was too cold near the door, but this was your spot.”

“That sounds nice. We must have really liked each over.” A mournful smile grazed your lips. You didn’t remember any of this.

“Of course we did. I never introduced anyone to my Grandma but you.” Jongin had said it in a way that it seemed like the most natural thing ever.

“This is really hard for me. You know that, right?” Jongin just nodded, also losing the smile on his face as he agrees with you.

“I really don’t know what to believe anymore. My family and best friend lies to me, you, the apparent love of my life, cheated on me.” You could sense Jongin was about to interrupt, but you stopped him.

“Don’t say anything until I finish. Even though I’m not in love with you, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt to know that when we were meant to be in love you cheated with another girl. I guess I’m just scared that if I gain my memory back, it’ going to hurt so much more than this. If I don’t gain my memory back, how can I trust you? It’s not like we can just start over again.”  Sighing, you ran your hand through your hair in frustration.

“It hurts me too, you know? Don’t get me wrong, having you here right now is a dream come true already, but you don’t look at me the same way you did. Having everyone focus on the one hurtful thing I did and not look at all the good times we had together pains me so much. I wish I could take it all back but it’s too late, this is all I can do. You and I told each other everything. We were there for each other with everything and just like that I lost you. I lost you and I didn’t even have time to apologise. Now that you’re back trust me when I say I’m going to make it all up to you, okay? I’ll always love you, so please just give it a try. Please.” Jongin pleaded.

You had already agreed to giving Jongin a second chance and you didn’t want to back out now. Sure, knowing the truth will hurt, but somehow you felt as if not knowing the truth and missing out on love will hurt more.

“Okay,” You said, “I’ll try.”

“Two ramyeon, here you go.” Jongin’s grandma slides two, steaming bowls of ramyeon in front of you both.

“Thank you.”