Chapter Ten

Suho whipped the sheet through the air, letting the howling wind catch it before he pulled it over the wire to dry with the others. At another line only a few feet away, Amber was hanging up clothes. “It’s getting really discouraging.”

“Hm?” she asked, distracted for the moment.

He hunched over his knees, looking for words. “We have no sense of direction from here. We came to Suju looking for answers. It doesn’t appear we’re gonna find any.”

Amber didn’t answer him right away, instead hanging more clothes to dry. He waited for her response his gaze full of anticipation.

“I don’t imagine you’ll find answers anywhere, to be honest. Not right away. If you were looking for answers, I think you would’ve been better off staying at the Capitol. That is where the root of the problem is, don’t you think?” There was an ironic grin that caught her lips, a pun having slipped from without her planning on it. Suho chuckled a bit, nodding.

“I suppose you’re right. We’ll probably have to go back after a while, but I think I’d rather see if we can’t find a cure for Sehun’s infection first. Let Kai heal emotionally. Besides, I think it was good for us to find others… survivors, I mean.” He fell silent, swallowing as darker thoughts captured him. “Even I didn’t realize how badly we needed to know we weren’t the only ones left in this world.”

Hanging the last of the shirts, Amber grabbed the empty basket, swaddling it on her side as she made her way towards Suho. With an encouraging hand on his shoulder, she said: “We appreciate you all coming out, too. As they say, the more the merrier, right? We have a stronger chance of surviving this way, anyways. And don’t take my words wrong; you guys can stay as long as you want to. You’re always welcome here.”

Suho smiled, though it almost looked forced. His exhaustion was leaving him a mere shadow of himself. “Thanks, Amber. I think we can all appreciate that.”

They made their way back to the main street of the city where they had left the others. Only two weeks had passed since they first arrived in Suju, yet they already had a sense of belonging with the native survivors. They came to find a cure for the Tree, and instead it seemed they’d found companionship and togetherness. It wasn’t what the world needed and it wasn’t going to help them progress in healing the planet, but it was the most refreshing feeling they had experienced in a long time.

The others had just finished clearing up the debri in the streets, piling the sticks and any other scrap wood they could find into the bed of a truck with Xiumin behind the wheel and Minho in the passenger seat. There was something about quietly living their lives and cleaning up the town that was healing. Comforting, mostly. The boys and even the survivors of Suju found doing work, carrying on as normal, was the best kind of meditation.

As Sehun threw the last bit of scrap into the back of the truck, Xiumin droff off towards their bonfire, leaving the rest of them to follow behind on foot.

“I see you lookin’ at Sulli like you think she’ll disappear,” Minho started out of silence with a half-grin, catching Xiumin off-guard.

Xiumin glanced Minho’s direction a few times, his gaze fidgety. “What? What do you mean by that?”

“Just be careful with her, alright? She’s had a lot of demons after her since she was a little girl. If you’re interested in her, you need to be prepared for that.” Minho looked ahead past the windshield and the road ahead of them. As though he’d been pulled into a distant memory and wasn’t seeing anything passing them by.

Hesitantly, Xiumin prodded. “What kind of demons?”

“One that called himself her dad. And another one that was mom. She’s been in and out of homes for as long as I can remember. People don’t usually say these kinds of things about themself, but,” he took a breath, brows furrowed, “I’m sure I’m the only family or friend she’s ever had. I mean, now she has Krystal and Jessica—all of us have sort of become family and we lean on each other but… I don’t know that she’s ever been close with anyone else like me.”

Xiumin was very quiet, even more so than what was normal for him. From what he knew of her, Sulli seemed like such a sweet little thing. Someone that was like a light in a cave. He couldn’t imagine anyone would ever want to hurt someone like her.

“So, I guess you can understand if I’m a little protective of her, right?” Minho’s voice was soft but Xiumin could definitely hear the implication of a threat in his voice. It wasn’t that he was intimidated, just that he understood.

Pulling into the grass just beyond the bonfire pit, Minho jumped out of the car even as it was still in motion, Xiumin positioning the truck to back up as close as he could get to their wood pile with Minho’s guidance. The others came straggling in, D.O. making his way to the pile to break up some of the sticks for the fire. It was the most useful he’d felt since Chanyeol had been taken away.

~  ~

Everything had dried up, shriveled and withered into this gray and barren void. His world had become unrecognizable and more so as each day passed. He couldn’t even find a familiar landmark to tell him the way to the Glow Trees. It was a moment of absolute fear, frustration and exhaustion. He bit down on his lip as it quivered, hands still clutching tight to his waist as the tears made his vision blur. Chanyeol could barely even support himself, weak and hungry. And alone.

He didn’t even know why he continued on; he was completely lost with no sense of direction at this point, and there wasn’t a sign of anything edible for miles. It was likely he would die of starvation or dehydration if his wound didn’t get infected first. And yet knowing his odds of survival, he could not give up. If he had to die, he wanted it to be in the arms of the Glow Tree. He had to at least make it that far.

Shaky and weak, Chanyeol continued forward, vision still blurry and throat dry. In his moment of determination, he could have sworn he saw a tree-line not too far into the distance.

~  ~

“ing Forces align, take that brat outside! One of these damned days he’ll take the whole Tree forsaken house with him straight into Hell!”

A woman made her way to the curtains with a bowl of water, dousing out the flames that were creeping their way from the bottom. She had the same red hair as Chanyeol, whose older sister snatched him up from the floor and ran him outside and far away from the house. “What’s the matter with you, Chanyeol? Ain’t you got any sense, why do you always gotta ruin everything!” She could barely yell at him through his sobs, little fists balled up and tears flooding down his face.

About four yards from the house, his sister set him down hard on the ground. “You sit right here and think about what you did. You’d better stop, don’t you have any sense? Only a monster would set his own house on fire, Chanyeol, you ought to be ashamed.” She stormed off back towards the house to help their mother with the damages.

At only four years old, Chanyeol had managed to set their house on fire at least ten times and he didn’t really know how he did it. He only knew that it frightened him terribly and that it made his family hate him.

~  ~

Baekhyun stared into the bonfire, seeing the faces of an old friends gone. It was painful and yet he couldn’t seem to pull himself away. He wanted to be near that warmth. It was the most familiar thing he had, the closest thing to still being with Chanyeol and even Nana, who had her own sort of fire. The crackling embers almost sounded like laughter at times, like the sound of a fond memory ringing in his ears. It almost made him wonder if Chanyeol were calling to him from somewhere. Calling to be rescued.

The Light Force wasn’t the only one captivated by flames tonight. The entire lot of them seemed to be in worlds completely of their own, struggling to be near to those they once held so dearly.

“You went off by yourself for a long while,” Luhan said softly so only Sehun could hear, still looking into the flames. “Did you find it?”

Sehun meant to ask what it was he was supposed to find, but realized Luhan knew exactly what mystery had plagued his mind since they all arrived at Suju. “Yeah… I did.”

Luhan waited, but Sehun remained silent, words caught in his throat. “What?” Luhan asked, “What is it?”

An ironic smile made it’s way to the younger brothers’ lips. “She liked me back.” Luhan turned his head to Sehun, eyebrows raised. Sehun hunched over his knees, his emotions unable to let him look his brother in the eye. “At least, that’s what she told her sister just before the war. In a letter…”

“Sehun…”

He reached into his pocket, holding out the photo for Luhan to see. He grabbed it, looking it over as his brother explained. “She sent this with it. I think it might be the only thing… the only picture left in this world of the two of us.” There was a silence.

“It’s nice you’ll have something to remember her by,” Luhan added softly, handing Sehun the picture back.

Chen glanced their way, having overheard the last bit of the brothers’ conversation, and it suddenly occurred to him that he wasn’t the only one suffering at the loss of the girls. Not that he thought the others had no care at all, just that Chen seemed so strongly affected, he didn’t have time to notice that others had become heartbroken as well.

Subconsciously, he reached over and touched the hand-woven bracelet on his wrist as if he thought it weren’t there anymore.

“You’d better take care of it.”

He flinched, turning his head over his shoulder. But there was no one.

Lay put a hand on Chen’s shoulder. “You doin’ alright?”

Chen’s brows furrowed, face contorted in confusion and even a little fear. He was so sure he heard her voice just then. “Yeah,” he barely spat out. “I’m… alright.”

The healer didn’t take his gaze off Chen just yet, however. In the past few weeks, Chen’s mental and emotional condition only seemed to worsen. The dark circles under his eyes only seemed to grow darker with each passing day, and there was nights Lay was sure Chen didn’t go to sleep at all.

“You need to relax, Chen. You hear me? Just relax.” Before Lay removed his hand, Chen felt a sweep of calm brush over him and it almost brought tears to his eyes.

On the other side of the bonfire, Tao had been watching Chen. He’d had his eye on the Lightning Element for the past few weeks, intrigued by his behavior to say the least. Besides the insomnia and depression that seemed to have taken over him, Tao noticed intense paranoia welling up inside. It was clear Chen was suffering from hallucinations, but there were moments Tao thought he saw them, too.

~  ~

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

Xiumin turned and found Sulli standing a few feet away with a shy smile on her face. “Oh, hey, Sulli.”

“Mind if I sit down?” She was already making her way by his side in the grass before he could even answer that no, of course he didn’t mind.

“What were you looking for me for?” he asked, leaning on one hand with the other awkwardly fixing his hair.

Sulli smiled, looking up at the stars. “Because I didn’t see you at the bonfire, and it’s so quiet over there it started to make me sad. I hope I’m not intruding or anything, if you wanted to be alone. I’ll leave if you want me to.”

Xiumin shook his head. “No, you can stay.” I’d rather you stayed.

Sulli’s smile seemed to radiate now. “Okay,” she replied softly, wiggling in her place a bit and making herself comfortable as she continued her passionate gaze at the stars.

He watched her, again wondering how anyone could ever want to hurt someone as precious as her. He couldn’t imagine an ounce of evil temptation ever grabbing onto her pure little heart.

“I remember when our world was as beautiful as the stars. Now it seems like there’s nothing but tragedy and loneliness.” Her eyes fell into deep thought. “My favorite thing was to walk out into the woods and see the glowfish swimming between the trees and listen to the ponyflies whistle to the flowers. It was so magical and made me forget about how worthless I always felt. It gave me hope that maybe I could have a magical life someday.”

It became silent as Xiumin thought of what he could say to comfort her. Before he could think of something, though, she blurted: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to get so open with you. There’s just something about you, it makes me want to tell you all my secrets.”

He smiled warmly, looking up at the stars now with her. “You don’t have to be sorry. It’s nice to finally have someone to talk to.” He finally thought of something. “The world might not be a beautiful place like it used to be or anything but… you definitely don’t have to be alone through it.”

She looked at him, though he was too shy to return her gaze right away. “Then you’ll stay with me? You’ll stay by my side?”

“Of course. But, only if you want me to.” Xiumin turned has gaze back at the stars, suddenly too bashful to look in her direction again.

Nervously, she put her shaking hand on top of his. “I do.”

The touch of her little hand on top of his turned his attention back to her, and he then realized just how closely she’d moved in to him, almost near enough to feel her breath on his face. He went to turn his hand, but in her self-consciousness she pulled her hand back and he grabbed it again, lacing their fingers this time. The intense eye contact was almost uncomfortable and yet they couldn’t bring themselves to break the gaze, afraid that the other might disappear. Sulli could tell Xiumin was getting nervous, the palm of his hand freezing against hers, sticking her skin to him almost painfully.

Conjuring up every ounce of courage he had in him, he went in, though Sulli had done the same and beat him to it, bringing them together hard and almost smacking their teeth. But they were too nervous to turn back now. Their hands were shaking and they forgot to breathe, but the more Sulli could feel the frost building up in his hands the more she realized they were feeling the same way. She wrapped her arms around him, fingers still trembling. And despite the frost in his hands, it was the warmest Xiumin had ever felt.

~  ~

Kris wasn’t usually one who preferred solitude. He was more of a social butterfly, actually, so this was a much different scenario than he was used to. No, he wasn’t used to actually thinking over his problems. He didn’t like to focus on them at all. Maybe that’s why Kris enjoyed the company of others so much; they were the perfect distraction. He didn’t have time to think about his own fears and failures if he was caught up socializing.

Honestly, Kris wasn’t even in the woods to be alone. Not entirely. During the last couple of bonfires, he always noticed that Jessica would make her way over to this area all alone, and so far, she seemed to be the only person he was remotely comfortable holding a conversation with. They didn’t have any special connection, they barely knew each other, but he couldn’t handle the guilt of being around his brothers or any of the others.

Out of the dark, he heard her feminine voice echoing in the trees. He decided to call out, knowing he would only scare her if he waited for her to come any nearer. “Jessica?”

She didn’t respond for a moment. “Yeah? Who’s there?”

“It’s Kris! I’m over here,” he waved an arm and she made her way over to him. “What are you doing out in the woods so late at night? And alone?”

Jessica gave him a look. “I could ask you the same thing, sir. Besides, I can handle myself, you don’t think I can?”

He chuckled. “No, it’s not that.”

They started walking deeper into the woods, conversation coming relatively easily.

“I really like going for walks through here. It let’s me think about things in peace. It’s almost like meditating,” Jessica started, looking through the dark as he eyes began to adjust to the light of the moon.

Kris shook his head. “I don’t really get that, I hate being alone.”

She stopped. “Then why were you out here alone?” He didn’t really need to answer, her hunch told her he was waiting on her. They didn’t know each other well, but Jessica was good at reading men like him. She changed her question. “Why don’t you like being alone?”

He leaned up against a tree, hands in his pockets. “Too many ty things to think about.” Kris chuckled weakly. “People always say I have the perfect personality, right? Outside of socializing I’m not good at anything.”

Jessica walked over to him, standing closely. “What makes you say that?”

He sighed, “It’s my fault Sehun got infected. And I just… I’m not very close with my own brothers and you see how inseparable they are, right? And even you and Krystal… I can make friends with anyone in this world and yet there’s this… this bigass in’ wall between me and my family. On top of all that, I’m not talented or smart or anything. I’m an embarrassment.”

“Do you really think Krystal and I have such a perfect relationship? And do you really think your brothers don’t care about you?” She moved a strand of hair out of his face, one hand on his shoulder.

“Nah, I don’t think they don’t care it’s just… I’m not close to anybody. And I look around and suddenly it’s like… I’m all alone.” He moved his face in closer to hers, tucking her hair behind an ear. “You can’t see how jealous I am of all the people around me.” Kris stopped, dropping his hands back down to his sides, Jessica tilting her head to try and look him in the eyes again. “I’m sorry, this is weird. I’m… not really good at this… this whole talking and thinking thing. I prefer distractions.”

“Then don’t talk and don’t think. To be honest, I’m always thinking way too much.”

Feeling her long hair brush against his arm, he smashed his lips against hers, Jessica’s arms pulling up over his shoulders and fingers entangling in his hair. It was a sudden collision of bodies. He grabbed her waist and turned them around, putting her against the tree as she wrapped her legs around him with hands making way under clothes. She grabbed the button of his pants and fought with the zipper as he moved under her bra and kissed her neck, his other hand undoing her pants.

This wasn’t something Jessica made a habit of doing, so it came as a surprise to her that she found herself in such a passionate encounter with someone she barely knew. But it was nice to feel something other than fear. If this was the kind of distraction Kris needed, she didn’t mind being the one to distract him.