[A/N: just wanna say that if you want your heart to clench even more (lol whut) listen to VIXX's Memory while reading this, idk why but my stomach twist once I did. Yeah readers, I re-read my stories. Kbye]

 

N's POV

 

"Congratulations sir! It's a boy!" The nurse said as she approached me with the little baby in her arms. I took him in my arms and hold him tightly.

 

I tap his little quivering lips, "sshh baby... daddy's here..." I whispered while rocking him gently. I glanced over to my wife and walk towards her.

 

"Look Nakyeon-ah... it's mommy" I said while smiling. "Nakyeon huh? That's a good name..." Chanmi said while smiling slightly.

 

I smile and walk to give Nakyeon to the nurse.

 

Suddenly, a loud alarming sound was heard from the monitor. I looked behind and Chanmi was almost unconscious. I gave Nakyeon to the nurse quickly and ran to her side, "no, no, no! Baby, open your eyes! Stay awake! Look at me!" I screamed.

 

She smiled and touch my face, "take care of our baby..." she said. "NO! DON'T SAY THAT!!!!" I screamed hopelessly.

 

Then, a loud beeping sound was heard and her hand limp and fell to the bed, "no... No... NO!!!!!" 

 

Suddenly, the operating room became a ruckus and in the back, Nakyeon was crying loudly due to the noises and the nurse who was holding him quickly took him out.

 

"Sir, you can't be here!" A male nurse said as he grab my arm and tried to drag me out, "she's my wife! I have every right to be here!!" I screamed.

 

the nurse ignored my words and continue to drag me out with the help of 2 female nurses.

 

"N-no... W-wait!! NO!!! CHANMI!!!!!" I screamed as they drag me out.

 

The other members were waiting outside and quickly came to my slumping body on the floor that the nurses just left.

 

"Hyung... are you okay?" Hyuk asked softly.

 

"N-No.... everything's ruined... sh-she... she won't make it..." I mumbled while tears stream down my face non stop.

 

The others console me, trying to made me at least crack a smile.

 

*a couple hours later*

 

I went back inside the operating room only to see my lifeless wife on yhe stretcher, face covered with a white fabric.

 

That moment, my whole world came crashing down as I slumped on the floor and cry hard, sobbing and shoving everything in sight.

 

The 5 tried to restrain me, holding me back from taking any sharp object and plunge it to my chest.

 

I spent a solid 4 hours of weeping in the operating room. My body felt super drained, exhausted from crying and pushing everyone around and destroying things.

 

The 5 helped me walk to my passed wife's hospital room. There, we passed the baby room and I could see Nakyeon on the bed, sleeping peacefully.

 

"He has noona's eyes..." Hyuk mumbled.

 

"And also her eyebrows..." Hongbin added.

 

"But look, he has N hyung's lips!" Ken chirped.

 

"And his dark skin!" Ravi joked.

 

Leo just nod but a smile was plastered on his face as he watch Nakyeon squirm around in his fluffy blanket.

 

"He's not my son..." I mumbled darkly.

 

Everyone moved their attention towards me.

 

Not surprisingly, Leo was the first one to lunge on me, "what.did.you.fcking.said!?" He said through gritted teeths.

 

Daringly, I look right into his eyes, "he's not my son!" I said, louder this time.

 

"He killed my wife!!" I continued.

 

"It's not like he did that on purpose!! Your wife gave her life to give you your heir!! And now that you've got your heir you don't want him!? The fck's wrong with you Hakyeon!?" Leo replied while gripping my collar and threw me back towards a wall.

 

He stomped away from the scene along with Ken and Hongbin who tried to calm him down.

 

I won't blame him though... he's a fatherly person and I may know how he feels when he heard those words... especially from his friend...

 

Hyuk and Ravi helped me up from my slumping position on the ground. We were about to walk, but I stopped to take a look at Nakyeon.

 

I put my hand on the glass and sighed.

 

*3 years later*

 

I got remaried when Nakyeon was only 2, and now he's turning 3.

 

___ was so sweet, she love Nakyeon as if he's her blood-rblood-related son.

 

I was working in my office in our apartment when suddenly Nakyeon came running in, "ppa! Appa!" He squealed as he waddled his way towards me and rest on my lap.

 

I looked at him with cold stare, not answering him at all.

 

Nakyeon seems to ignore my cold stare as he point at his loose tooth, "appa! Tooth!! Tooth!" He squealed excitedly. Again, I ignored him.

 

Nakyeon pouted as he kept on bugging me to get my attention, "appa, what's that?" He asked, pointing at the computer that has the new music arrangement on the screen.

 

"My arrangement" I simply said.

 

He wasn't satisfied with the answer so he tried to climb up to my lap. I freaked out as he tugged on my shirt, I'vI've never held him for the past 3 years of his life except that one time in the operating room.

 

Luckily, ___ quickly came into the room, "Nakyeonie! What did mommy tell you about disturbing daddy?" She exclaimed while lifting Nakyeon up to carry him.

 

"No no no!" He squealed while wiggling his little finger. ___ smiled at him and peck his cheeks, "that's right, now... let's play in your room!" Nakyeon wiggled free from ___'s arms and waddle out to his room.

 

I sighed deeply and threw my pen to the desk. ___ came over and massage my shoulders, "don't thinj about it too much Hakyeon... it'll be okay hmm?" She peck my cheek and went along to Nakyeon's room.

 

once she left the room, I stood up and took the album from underneath my desk. I scan the photos and saw fetus pictures of Nakyeon and more pictures of Chanmi during her pregnancy.

 

I took Nakyeon's fetus picture out and held it againts my chest, "appa's sorry..." I mumbled as I held the picture closer.

 

 *several years later*

 

Nakyeon's already 9 and he got a little sister, Hanna and she's only 3.

 

 

They both have a great relationship. Nakyeon trully care for her, always backing her up whenever she needs it.

 

My love grew for Hanna and also for Nakyeon, but I can never seem to show my affection towards him over these years. The only way I can show my affection is by giving him everything that's best for him.

 

I was in the living room with Hanna, she was watching pororo on my lap while on her thumb, "Hanna! What did daddy told you?" I exclaimed as I took her thumb away from and wipe it with a tissue.

 

Hanna blinked in confusion, "no, you can't on your thumb!" I sighed but a smile linger on my lips.

 

She giggled and bury her face on my chest while wiggling around.

 

Then, the door opened and in comes ___ with Nakyeon holding her hands in his soccer attire.

 

"Aww! Look at you two, all cozy and stuff!" She exclaimed. Nakyeon then came up to me and tap my legs. I uninterestedly looked at him, "I score the winning goal! The whole team and coach Leo was so proud of me!" He said while showing his medal. 

 

"Mhm, yeah" was all I answered to him. "Look daddy! The medal is pretty right?" He asked while shoving his medal to my face, "yeah yeah sure"

 

"Coach Leo said he'll be so proud if I'm his son!" My face stiffened at his words. I put Hanna on the couch and stood up, "and would you be his son?" I said as I glanced at him with an icy cold look.

 

I saw him biting the insides of his cheek while thinking. Then he showed me a toothy grin, "mhm! Of course I would! He's the best!" I was taken aback at his words.

 

It hurts me bad hearing that from my own son.

 

Yet again who am I to say that he has hurt me? I was the one who treated him like as if he'she's not my own.

 

Without replying him, I walk to my working room and close it  I took my phone from my pocket and dialed Taekwoon's number.

 

*beep* *beep* *pick!* "Hello?"

"Taekwoon, can we meet?"

"uh, yeah... sure... why?"

"Just wanna talk to you about something"

"o...kay?"

"Great, we'll meet at 5 pm at the cafe accross from our company, sounds good?"

"yeah, sure"

 

Then I hung up the phone before shoving it back to my back pocket.

 

I open the room and walked out to see Hanna and Nakyeon playing together on the couch. "Yah, take a bath first... you'ryou're all dirty" I said as I walked to them and proceed to lift Hanna from the couch.

 

He blinked and checked himself, "oh! thanks for reminding me daddy!" He grinned widely and ran to his room to get himself a new set of clothing then take his bath.

 

___ came out from the kitchen with her arms crossed, "you shouldn't be so harsh on him..." she said with her eyes narrowed at me.

 

"Who?" "Nakyeon! He's just a boy! He didn't know his mistakes and what his birth had caused!" "But he's still the reason that she's dead!" "Oh, so now you're saying that you still hasn't moved on?"

 

That shut me up.

 

She had a hurted look on her face, she stormed back to the kitchen, releaving whatever anger was in her.

 

"Daddy, what's wrong?" Hanna asked as she place her little palms on my cheeks.

 

I smiled a little and peck her cheeks, "nothing's wrong sweetie"

 

Soon, it was time for me to meet Taekwoon. I took my car keys and wallet then I went out.