A/N: I wrote this because somebody, I am not saying any names, (Kim Jong Hyun) is trying to mess with the bias list Plus I made a new friend if your reading this hi.

My dearest reader,

It is the case that I have been lying to you, not all is black and white. I am not as honest as you are lead to believe. I live in a dangerous state of my own perpetual coquetry, as I write to you and live for another. Away from you my love and I have been exploring a place where dreams are as light as feathers. Despite all this I still love you.

                                                                                                                                                    With greatest care,

                                                                                                                                                 Monochrome Scenes

Duplicity

A dark shadowy echo in the quiet hall I walk alone and think of you. Wrapping my head around the utter disaster that is we, and the beauty and danger of what we have become. In the quietness of the tiled cold room I breath out the truth, I am a liar and a cheat. It’s shameful to say but that doesn’t stop me from repeating it over and over again in my head.  I am the being whom has gambled away a love and not yet made the declaration of a loss. I cheated on my husband with you a friend, or at least you were a friend. But now you are a perfect paramour, my shining example of glorious sin.

The December cold is comforting in comparison to the burning of my grief and longing. My shame for stabbing him behind the back and my desire to see you again cause me to sweat. And now I find myself at your place of work, waiting to have coffee with you. It makes me wonder if I love you more, if that is the case should I just leave him. But I couldn’t leave him because I love him as well. Underneath all my sin is still someone who truly loves her husband.

When I came home that night after making love to you I cuddled in his arms and cried. He didn’t ask me why, he never does but his silence and his warmth were like heaven to me then. I don’t know how I could ever cheat on him but I don’t know how to ever stay away from you.

Sometimes I wish you were both the same man. But there is something that always stops me from holding that thought to long. It is this small flicker in my stomach of disdain. Secretly I enjoy this, the feeling of being loved by both of you. I can’t lie anymore at least not to myself. In me exists a terrible thrill in the state of duplicity. A strange wonder I can’t stop, like looking into a jagged abyss as you fall down to the bottom. Even though I know I will crash I can’t help but be awake when it happens.

You come out of your office your light-colored hair to one side and a smile like a thousand suns and a smell so divine I can’t imagine breathing without it. You slowly close the gap between you and me your brown puppy dog eyes all a glow. I breathe out your name shivering form your stare not the cold. You laugh pulling me under your arm and whispering a quiet warm hello. Placing a kiss upon my temple, and now I am on fire. Happily burning form your dangerous flame. Then he texts me as you ask me if I am ready to go.

Dubu_Husband: Sorry about the fight earlier do you still love me?

You kiss me ear prompting me to answer, you question. I giggle a yes, as I send my husband a simple heart text. As we walk away with your arm around me and a good man’s love in my pocket I feel the small butterfly wings of sweet duplicity.

A/N: Thanks for reading I hoped you like it has been way to long. I also wonder if you caught some of my secret hints if not oh well. Much love to you all M.S.