He was 2-weeks behind the rest. Just his luck, the exams for the subsidiary subjects he had taken has to be held on the very final day of examination. Woohyun felt a tinge of annoyance seeing photos update of his friends, enjoying their summer break together whilst he was at his ends-wit, studying.

Different schools in separate part of the city, he hasn’t seen any of them since the start of the study break 2 months ago. He misses them. Any bitterness that he felt has melted fully by the warming late June breeze. Woohyun has a little skip to his walk, eager to meet his friends at their favourite rice-cake shop.

He was still about 50 feet away when he catches the familiar sweet-spicy scent that welcomes him and his memories. He sees the shop packed with customers, sees a particular group of young men at the table by the entrance. But sitting at the end of the table, always at his usual spot; a man appears never changing. Okay, maybe he had trimmed his hair a bit, fitting for the upcoming heat expected of this season, but he is who he always was. His style, the way he expresses himself, his smile was still the same despite bygone days.

The end of his lips stretched wider, feet moved that bit faster. There’s an empty seat they had reserved for Woohyun, a seat opposite the unchanging lad.

Yes, it's true, he misses them all. But if he were to be perfectly honest, he misses one a lot more than the rest. Separate universities in different part of town just intensify his yearning. After more than a decade of friendship, half-a-dozen years of wanting more, it was the threat of lessening times spent together that clicked something within him.

Woohyun tells himself to ignore his fear. He had set a deadline, to tell him before graduation and the seconds are ticking; he’ll start his final year soon. Postponement is no longer an option. Another summer, another consideration, “This summer perhaps?” 

“Hey, Woohyun’s here!”

Despite the chaos in the restaurant, a loud-bright voice reaches him as he walked in. Dongwoo, more energetic than the sun itself, bumps his fist aggressively. Others followed suit. It’s an unofficial greeting between the seven neighbourhood buddies.

“Great, he’s here. You should ask him about it, Hoya.”

Not a second too soon, Dongwoo adds, “Yeah. I mean, Woohyun knows this stuff better than any of us.”

Woohyun was confused to say the least. There was hardly a simple hello and suddenly he was into a discussion he wasn’t involved in, “What are we talking about again?”

There were exchanges of giddy glances, unspoken words shared between the five. Woohyun cocked an eyebrow questioningly, feeling slightly left out. Then he heard a sigh from the man sitting across him and Sunggyu, in a playful tone, announces, “We’ve got ourselves an early summer project.”

Woohyun notices Howon’s frown; he directing an exasperated look towards him, which made him smile, because Howon looks like a puppy when he does that. He giggles quietly to himself; the poor man must’ve been pushed around by the guys with whatever this summer project might be.

Then there’s Sungyeol and his unabashedly loud voice. Much like Dongwoo, this one is chirpy too, “Come on, we have the King of Romance here. If anyone can help you, it’s him.”

And it hits Woohyun like a tonne of bricks as his friend keeps him in the loop.

“We’re gonna help him get his man.”

Bang, something cracks within.

That grin he had; the excitement of meeting his good friends, his long-time crush, begin to falter uncontrollably. He heard Howon’s quiet, I didn’t ask for your help, thank you very much. He tries to laugh at the banters thrown by the lads, even putting in a word or two, being playful, as a friend should. Thankfully, he was more or less successful.

He’d never thought he’d encounter this at their small reunion. Howon, the always focused and dedicated on achieving his dreams, young man; the man who was never really that interested in dating Howon; a dear, dear friend of his whom he'd fallen for;

Howon,

is in love with someone.

“So, are you in Woohyun?”

Someone had asked, but he wasn’t paying attention to know who. “Sure.” He had answered mindlessly, with pretense excitement and empty anticipation.

Woohyun was a frail bird, not knowing of its own vulnerability. He was eager to do everything, but would break at the slightest challenge. He felt an endless need to please others, endless need to be liked. In the end, it was always him who was left hurting.

High-school was a battle, a battle to keep face, to keep grades, to please. He was envious of Lee Howon. The man’s practical. When Woohyun would exhaust himself with emotional explosives, he’d see the problem for what it is and would always find a way to solve it.

It became too much one day. Though it wasn’t a secret that Woohyun was the sort to be rather easy when it comes to shedding tears, by no means was it something he enjoys doing in front of his friends. There was a line of pine trees flanking the soccer field; he’d found his escape there, away from the mass of hormone-driven blokes.

He couldn’t hold it back then, head resting on his knees, arms covering his face, hugging his legs; any who would’ve accidently caught sight of him would probably think of nothing much. He appeared like a teenager stealing a nap on that late spring afternoon. Buds of blossoming flowers grew beneath the tree, surrounding him.

He heard a crisp scrunch nearby; someone had stepped on the poor, growing buds. He sensed that that person had settled beside him. For a second, he felt panicked. The last thing he wanted was for someone to see his bloated face, eyes puffed up from crying; Woohyun had bitten down on his lips hard, stopped stuttering sobs from escaping. He had waited, attentive towards the presence, wishing that whoever it was would get up and walk away.

Instead, an arm landed on his shoulder, warmth descended on his left half. He didn’t say a word, his thumb caresses his shoulder, making his sorrow grew larger until it just shattered.

He never did say anything, definitely didn’t ask why.

Woohyun was both embarrassed and relieved; his presence, an unexpected remedy.

That was it. That was the start of it.

Whenever Woohyun felt like he was falling and falling, he would be there to catch him, not needing any request to do so. That taciturn, and awkward, and sometimes sarcastic-as-hell Lee Howon would settled right next to him; a brusque man, gently erasing his tears.

Friendship had turned to admiration and admiration led to something more. And he was constantly breaking his falls and mending his wounds; what resistance, if any, could he have to stop himself from leaping into another fall. Having some made him want more, but the risk of losing what little he has stops him.

Woohyun may or may not have attempted to tell him before. Whenever they were alone, and he was concentrating, or laughing, or doing nothing really, he felt physically compelled to tell him, as if it was his basic necessity to spill it. But he was stopped every time. Hours of practicing gone to waste by a very potent fear of rejection.  

Tracing back the trail of memories, that one spring afternoon was probably the start of it all; where Howon had dug himself deeper, and settled into a bigger space in his heart before taking full control of it.   

And tonight, on this summer night, it should probably mark the end of it. He could already feel the wind billowing in the empty space that cannot be filled.

“Nervous?”

Woohyun’s grin was just short of being genuine, noticing how his companion kept glancing towards the entrance of the arcade, restless. Their friends have scattered around the area, playing games far too young for their age, leaving the two to themselves.

“Was I that obvious?”

Woohyun chuckled honestly; his cynicism, an appreciated familiarity. “It doesn’t suit you,” he adds, after Howon gave him a questioning look, “being nervous.”

The younger shrugs as a response, sipping his smoothie; banana flavoured san whipped cream, his favourite. It’s half-past ten. Though the arcade-slash-diner has quite a number of customers, night-time means its regular patrons, the teenagers, are pretty much leaving.

Woohyun wonders why he chose this place to confess. Maybe the noise and fun-loving environment helps with his nerves. Or it could just be because it was familiar; they used to de-stress a lot in this place, though they haven’t been there for years now. Whatever is the reason, it definitely helps with explaining why he has his friends along, hiding the real reason why they were all there in the first place.

As Sungyeol puts it, “We’re your secret wingmen for the night.”   

“Do I know him?” He feels a certain heaviness pressuring his chest as he asks. But he wants to know, needs to.

“Probably.” Howon considers a while; the smoothie swirled as he mixes it with the straw. Howon would scrunch his face when he's thinking; his lips pressed lopsidedly, its right-end lifting. “He went to your middle school.”

“Oh really?”

Woohyun tilted his head, intrigued. Fact is, they didn’t go to the same middle school; half of them went to the school in the southern part of the district, another, eastern. That’s true for all kids in their neighbourhood.

“I’m sure you’d get along well with him though. Like you, he loves to talk.”

“Yeah?” He had meant to sound excited, to mirror that glitter he sees in Howon’s eyes at the thought of his crush, but his voice was a bit too leveled.  His smile’s dulling into the pitch darkness of a deepening night when Howon’s the sun as it graces earth. “I can’t wait to meet him then. When is he coming?”

 “Soon.” Leaning on his chair, his puffed up cheeks released a long exhalation. “I hope.”

Soon. Woohyun peaked at his phone. It’s nearing 11, the time for it to end approaching.

Howon had initially refused any of their help; it was really due the others’ constant insistence that he had eventually give-in. “Just do it, Howon. Get it over and done with,” so went the endless nag of the wise Kim Sunggyu.

So he did.

Howon had decided.

After four days of seeing him, following the two months they were practically absent in each other’s life; Howon decided to confess to this unknown crush of his.

To be perfectly honest, Woohyun was hoping he’d changed his mind. Hoping that maybe, just maybe, he decided against telling this person. He’d overheard his qualms about it. But he could also tell that Howon was determined. Whenever he started to voice his own doubts, he’d talked himself out of it, in a typical Lee Howon fashion.

Plan was drawn. It was simplistic.

They were to hang out together in a group, to help him ease into things. They’d leave them soon enough and it’ll be time for Howon to make his move. He’d pretty much shooed all their friends away when they kept feeding him ideas, but Woohyun was quieter than usual; it’s probably the only reason why he had let him stay.

“Have you tried telling him before,” surreptitious words, overwhelming curiosity, “that you like him?”

Tilting his head, the younger of the two considers, “I don’t know if you could call it ‘trying’. I thought I was doing things to get his attention, but I don’t think it worked.” There’s a hint of dejection behind his grin as he shrugged.

Howon guarded when he asks, “Do you really think that it’s a good idea for me to tell him?”

It took him quite some time before he could say it with confidence.

“You should. Like what Gyu hyung said, you’re not gonna know how he feels about it if you don’t try. I know you; you’d beat yourself up if you don’t tell him.” Woohyun wanted to add, just like me, but he thought better of it. Instead, he said, “You don’t want to lose your chance, Howon.”

Howon nods in response, eyes scanning the perimeter before him for nothing in particular. Woohyun feels like whacking himself. His breath was caught in his throat, the physical constriction he felt as he says that surprised him.

In all honesty, he wanted to say something entirely different. Like a coward wanting to save his disappearing opportunity, something whispered for him to grapple with Howon’s hesitation, to make him backed out from confessing to this person. But he reminds himself not to do it. Because it isn’t something a good friend would do.

“Don’t you just miss hanging out like this?” Shocked out of his reverie, Woohyun turned to see a wistful grin. “I mean, everyone’s practically doing their own stuff now. We can’t even meet up if we want to.”

An unexpected sadness washes over Woohyun at the thought of seeing less of him in the future - or of seeing him with someone. “Yeah,” he responded solemnly. Howon seems to be deep in his thought, but more than anything else, he seems to be in need of distractions.

“You know, I’d never thought we’d be good friends.” Woohyun cocked his brow at his nostalgic grin. “Our personalities’ too different, and it doesn’t help matters any that I have to call you hyung when you’re hardly a month older.”

“Almost two months older actually,” Woohyun corrected him playfully, “And you were an awkward creature. I embraced you. You should be grateful, little one.”  

His reactions.

That endearing smile that enhances his youthful features, coupled with his low, bass chuckle sent tingles across his senses. He wonders whether the tingle would ever change; Woohyun sincerely grinning at the younger’s amused, “I know.”

Exhaling long, he once again took to glimpsing the entrance. He guessed that the other was just really nervous.

“I’ve never really understood what people meant when they say you’ll appreciate something once it’s gone. Honestly, I’ve never felt this way before, but I really miss being able to hang out with you guys without having to plan things weeks ahead.”

Woohyun nods at the somber truth.

“I get what you’re trying to say… Isn’t it normal for people to take things for granted?” Things, like time and opportunity; overestimating its permanency. “When it’s there, you don’t notice it. Once it’s gone, you realized how much you need it.”

“Exactly.” Howon mutters, looking down upon his laps. His feet tap rapidly in no particular rhythm; his restlessness seemed to increase by a hundredth fold. His fringe covers his eyes in a shadow, so Woohyun couldn’t quite catch what changes.

“Is there anything that made you feel that way, hyung?” He starts slow, hesitantly, “Anything that made you realized how much it means to you when it’s not there.”     

Woohyun considers; Howon timid gaze left him wondering. But not long into his thinking, not long into his wondering, his companion stammering declaration pulls him out of it. “Because I have.”

He was a bundle of nerves with wavering eyes seeking his. “And that something is actually someone.”

A glance again, but this time Woohyun followed his gaze and caught their friends simultaneously turning away as they caught him looking. Woohyun notices that they were all gathered around an arcade game placed by the entrance. Have they been there all along?

“It’s true that I missed being with everyone…” His voice was too quiet and for a second, Woohyun thought his mind must’ve made up what he heard, what he’s seeing. “But I missed being with you most.”

Howon was avoiding his gaze and his rushed rambling attacks him, a rambling that feels like a desperate soliloquy.

“And that got me thinking. I mean, I know that I love you. I thought I loved you like I did the others, but then, I guessed I’ve always known that it was different too? I mean, I always think about you. More than I do the others. More than I do anyone for that matter. And sometimes I’ve thought of telling you that, but I just couldn’t get myself to.”

That glint he sees shines with hope as Howon tentatively matches his gaze. Woohyun didn’t miss his hands’ nervous kneading. “You wouldn’t believe how many times I tried to do it, but you’d always look at me weird and I don’t want things to get awkward. So, for the longest time I was fine with how things were, but –“

Stammer,

“But –“

Easing speed, he is calming. Woohyun could tell he was trying hard not to break apart.

“We don’t get to see each other often anymore, and it feels like we’re practically strangers now. And I thought about how we might not be as close as we were before, and I don’t like that.

I really don’t like it. ”

The words hang in finality; Howon once again looking down upon his lap.

Darkening expression washes over him, his eyes glazed under the light. He has a look that he wore whenever he’s upset; the barely noticeable bite to his voluminous bottom lip, tightly jutted in what appears like a forced smile. Unlike Woohyun, Howon couldn’t bear the thought of getting teary in front of others.

Woohyun though thinks he is most adorable at times like this. It’s probably just the way his facial muscles were formed, but once a baby-face’s always a baby-face. Trying not to get teary baby-faced lad makes for an endearing sight, especially when said man prides himself for being strong-minded.

So Woohyun laughs.

For some reason, he just laughed. In the same old freeing way Howon had always been able to make him laugh.

An unabated sense of relief washes over him, enabling him to say, “Are you really confessing to me? You’re not joking, are you?”  

And that’s probably not the best idea; Howon looks horrified by his reaction, clearly flustered. All colours drained from his face. Eyes widened like he had seen a ghost. “No, I’m not joking,” he utters, barely audible, and he wavers yet again, everything about his being crumbling.

“I’ve thought hard about it, and I’ve always wanted to tell you for the longest time, but I was just…” Howon’s eyes met his, leaving his speech stalled, lips mouthing words, but no sound’s forming. “I mean; you don’t have to accept it or anything. I’ve just made up my mind to tell you about it… the fact that I care about you as more than just a friend.” 

“So…” a shudder to his breathing, “Please, don’t feel burdened by that or anything. I thought it was time for me to get it out of my system, which was what Gyu hyung has told me, but...” voice disappearing, regret clouds him, “guessed that’s not the case. And you… you don’t have to respond to it… I mean… ehm..”

Words.

Words.

Words.

Too many words. Woohyun stares at him blankly, not particularly interested in his useless rambling. Honestly, he’d stopped thinking, long before at …missed you most… Woohyun observes his dramatic hands movement, an attempt in confident-sounding prosody to carry his speech. The frown that threatened to annihilate any brewing assurance.

His moving lips.

Those lips demand appreciation over its visual aesthetic; its volume in the centre isn’t too heavy, just the right amount of thickness. The beautiful curves to the drop of Howon’s philtrum appeals to Woohyun’s carnal needs. Often, Woohyun caught himself gawking at them, wondering how they’d feel against his own lips, how they’d feel between them.

Words. Words. More Words.

He needs to stop talking now.

Woohyun feels alive, more enlivened than ever, so he gets a bit bold. His hand reaches for the younger’s shoulder and rests on his neck. It wasn’t the easiest of angles, but nothing else matters as he guides him, leaning. Not a moment of doubt exists when he connects their lips together. Not even his tensing body, or shocked expression. Clumsy, the initial contact was a rough one, but warmth and tenderness he'd always imagined encased him immediately.

Gentle pressure, hesitant swipe of tongues against lips, the tentative placement of Howon’s hand against his chest; he doesn’t want to stop, but he pulls a part anyways. A hazed gaze met him, and Woohyun grins, that dimpled-unabated grin, “And here I thought I’d lose my chance tonight.”

Blinking absently, Woohyun’s expression answers his concern. Smile gradually graces him, a hint of red colours Howon’s cheeks, yet still he is unable to look straight at him. Being shy caused him to stammer, “You… you…”

“Yes. I care about you more than ‘just friends’ do.”

He made sure their eyes meet; his hand on his jaw supporting. Woohyun bit his bottom lip to stop it from stretching too much. Gentle, reassuring words given to the younger.

“Like you, I missed the others too, but I also missed being with you most.”

“I think about you more than I think about anyone, about anything else. And I’ve thought of telling you that countless times before, but I’ve always chickened out.”

“And yes, I really loath not being able to see you and I’d honestly cry if we were to talk about being like strangers to each other. I detest that thought. I don’t ever want that to happen.”

A deep breath, cue for honesty, “But unlike you, I was always sure of my feelings.”

He’d never doubted it. From the first time he laid eyes on him, the physical attraction was real and he recalls the very realization he had that the attraction was too strong of a force, and it pushed him into falling in love.

“I’ve had a crush on you for the longest time. I’ve liked you, no… I’ve love you in a way that I know you’re the only one that truly matters. That you’re the only one I want to be with.” The shy smile carries a sense of relief. Woohyun reaches for his hand, caressing it. Ecstatic grin sets free as he felt Howon squeezed his fingers, tightening his hold ever so slightly.

He thought it was ironic how none of what he said follows the script he had prepared, yet he is a million times more at ease. Call it genuine intend or a physical need, it flows through him. Woohyun had his sight glued on Howon, grin inerasable. That made the younger look down, his fingers nitpicking on Woohyun’s sleeves.     

So he teases him, in the way he always does when he gets like this, “Hey, being shy doesn’t suit you.”  

Howon finally matching his gaze; a knowing lopsided grin shines, “Well, being bold doesn’t suit you either.”

He was no longer hiding and Woohyun gets to see that relieved, uninhibited grin similar to his. That welcomed sense of sarcasm. His reddening ears. But maybe they could use a little less of this sense of awkwardness.

“So, this whole confessing fiasco was all for me, huh?” He said proudly, making Howon roll his eyes at his antics. “But you do realize you’ve never actually confessed to me right? As in, there’s no “I like you, Woohyun”, “I had a crush on you, Mr. Perfect”, “I’m into you, babe – “

“I love you.”  

Antics halted. Noises in the diner muffled into silence. ““I love you, Nam Woohyun. There, I’ve said it. I love you.”

Confident tone, assured being; Howon’s grin was probably due to the astonishment on his face. It’s happening. The scene he had replayed in his head as he practiced his line, a director in his own wish.

Howon is closing in on him. Gaze fixed unto his trembling eyes, hand electrifying his neck, warm breath descending upon him. His lips felt light to the touch, tasted sweet from the smoothie he has been drinking. How long has he’s been thinking of this? Too long for it to matters now he has it.  

Woohyun takes one shuddering breath after another. Eyes closing shut, tongues hesitant no more, coquettish moves heating his entire being, and he may or may not have grinned into the kiss; hands travelling to his back, pulling him close. Woohyun couldn’t believe it.

Because that night, the summer night he thought would end it all, was really a beginning after all.

And the fun-loving environment of the venue was fitting. Everyone was busy doing their own thing, leaving the two lovebirds concealed in their own private world, enjoying how their senses get to know each other in ways they haven’t before; concealed and private,

except for a handful of observant men standing a few metres away,

 at an arcade game,

 by the entrance.

“Say it, I’m a genius.” He declared.

Unenthusiastically, but not cheaply, Sunggyu has to give him the credit, “You’re a genius.”

“I told you he wouldn’t know about it. He’d be too upset to bother about figuring who this ‘crush’ was. I told you, hyung, it was a deceptively simple but brilliant idea.” Sungyeol beams, the others pushed Sunggyu aside to make their way to high-five or fist-bump him, showering cacophonies of praises.

But their herd-mentality caused Sunggyu to collide into a teenager, who quite literally glares at him for it, even after he had apologized. He shook his head disapprovingly. If he isn’t happy, he’d give the teenager a piece of his mind.

“Tell me why he chose this place to confess again?”

“Oh, you haven’t heard?” The eldest of the group shook his head, responding to Sungjong’s question. Apparently, he was the only one who didn’t know, because his four companions glance towards each other before sharing a giggle.

“It was kinda sweet actually. Howon said it’s where he’d first met Woohyun. I mean, you still remember the day you introduced us right? Yeah, the day we first started hanging out together. We came here, didn’t we?”

Sunggyu nods in confirmation. “Well, that’s why he wanted to tell him here. First place he’d met him became the place where he wins him over.”

He tilts his head, intrigued by the info he received. Howon was more of a romantic then he thought, but he is pretty sure he got it wrong though. Sunggyu was tutoring a few middle school kids to earn extra pocket money. The 8^th grader had come to his place to borrow a few books, and Howon was waiting for him in a living room as he went upstairs to find them.

A very covered up Woohyun was seated on the couch in that very same living room, working on his assignment. For whatever reason, he was into mask and hoodie then. Sunggyu recalled introducing them,

“Oh Woohyun, this is Howon.”

“Howon, Woohyun.”

A raise of hand to acknowledge the other’s existence and Sunggyu was sure they didn’t even exchange any words, but he remembers Woohyun bothering him about the other for days afterwards. Sunggyu chuckle at the thought of it; if not for Woohyun pushing him to introduce them, those two might not be friends in the first place.

So Howon has gotten it all wrong.

The day where the seven kids living in the same neighbourhood gathered as a group, was actually not the day where he had first met him. But who’s to blame for that. Why would it matter anyways? On that moment, the two is sharing a new first; in a place and on a day Sunggyu’s sure the two will remember clearly.

The arcade-slash-diner is where the two admit honestly; the long-time secret crush revealed.  

-----

A play on Lovelyz's Hi lyrics.

In (coincidental) celebration of Bad2ndWin!! And the plethora of WOOYA being thrown to us in this era. God, please keep this going *prays hard*

In a more important note, please support INFINITE for this comeback (stream, votes, etc). INSPIRITS fighting!!