The next autumn day that pursued was an unusual one for many. First thing in the morning, word came around like hurricane that a school thug was beating the crap out of class 1-3’s homeroom teacher. A huge crowd gathered around the scene, yet none even bothered to stop what was happening. When Hayi heard this news from one of her classmates, something wrung her heart with bitter regret as she hurriedly ran along the school corridors. And when she finally made her way through the heavy crowd, what she saw first and foremost was Kim Hanbin brawling with the teacher. The brawl was very one-sided, though. The man beneath Hanbin wasn’t even moving, let alone punching back.

Now, the boy was too carried away with violence to even notice Hayi’s presence. And for a split second, Hayi felt scared. Scared of Spring’s violent nature. Scared of the same boy whose words had led her heart to leap many times, who now had bloodied hands and eyes that shed no warmth. Most of all, scared of the consequences this boy had to face because of her

When she caught a tiny glimpse underneath Hanbin’s bruising knuckles; what she saw was a man choking on his own blood, barely moving. Seeing that man’s face like that, every detail of what had happened in that winter day now sprang vividly to her mind once again.

And then he stopped.

Hanbin saw her.

He saw her amongst the large crowd, and all it took for him was one look. One glance. Something brew up inside the boy. A storm maybe. It was her eyes, those same eyes—scared, lost, confused and staring back at him.

So the boy stood up, threw the teacher’s body aside, and the crowd scurried away from him as he walked out of the classroom.

Rooftop. – Spring

. . .

“Why did you do that?!” she screamed. “Are you crazy?”

Hanbin threw his cigarette into a puddle. “He hurt you. He ing did all those things—and I couldn’t just…”

“Just what?”

“He gets to live normally, while you,” Hanbin sat down on the low table. “While you have to continue living your life this way. Running away from what he did to you. Pretending everything’s okay when it’s not. It’s unfair. I couldn’t just sit and watch, I couldn’t just let the bastard live normally.”

“Unfair. Then how about you? You had nothing to do with this and now here you are. The teachers are looking all over the place for you. They’ve probably called the police. You might even go to jail. The kids will all think you’re some sort of thug. And your father… God, Hanbin, your father. He’ll be angrier than the time you spent his money on gambling. And all of this for what? Just because of something that happened one year ago—something that didn’t even involve you? Unfair on me? Hanbin, this,” Hayi made no attempt to hide her anger. “This is unfair on you.”

“But what can those consequences do to a dying man, Hayi?”

That shut her up.

Hayi had begun to cry. Now that Hanbin stood looking at the tears that graced her cheeks, reddened by the sun. Why was it, he wondered, that he always felt helpless in her presence?

A long silence followed. Hanbin lit a cigarette. The wind had died down. The smoke rose straight up and disappeared into the grey sky. He watched the sky for a while, thinking.

“About that noodle place you talked about,” Hanbin said out of the blue.

“What?”

“I’ll tell the police what happened. They’ll ask me questions. The questions will last until late at night and I’ll be hungry. I’ll probably want to see you, too. But mostly I’ll be hungry.”

“How do you know they’ll let you off?”

“Because that bastard will help me. If he’s got some brains, he’ll know it’s the only way to keep afloat in an ocean of guilt.”

Hayi’s eyes traced Hanbin’s bloodied knuckles. She skimmed through her backpack, found a handkerchief, and tied it around his wound. She held his fingers with both hands for a second, looked him in the eye, and let go—a gesture that made Hanbin’s heart skip a beat.

“I’ll be at the station by nine. And Hanbin, I’m thankful. I really am. Thankful for what you did. Something that I wanted to do for a long time. But I’m also angry, Hanbin—angry that you did that to yourself. And I’m sorry this happened to you,” she told him, before walking away.

. . .

Jiwon wasn’t a big fan of convenience stores, they always had that familiar scent that he hated and something about the idea of eating his dinner there felt ceaselessly lonely.  But seeing as how it was already eleven, his parents were still arguing, and his mother was obviously not going to make dinner, he put his favourite black hoodie on and headed to the nearest convenience store he could find.

When he sat there facing the window, eating ramen out of a plastic cup, his eyes wandered to a few places. A drunk man passed by, and Jiwon entertained himself by watching the man try to press the pedestrian crossing button. He finally pressed it after thirteen tries.

Ahead of him stood a sturdy noodle restaurant, and the boy suddenly felt a pang of regret as he realized he could have gone there instead of that depressing convenience store. He stared at it for a long time, the menu board outside the place, the lights inside and the people, but something else familiar caught his eyes.

It was Lee Hayi.

The girl he could say he fell in love at first sight with. The cranky girl who never talked to him and ignored his presence most of the time. The girl who appeared in his dreams the night before. And three nights before.

Jiwon had to look once or twice, and he even squinted his thin eyes, to make sure he wasn’t in a dream. And now that he realized it really was Hayi, the only thing he wanted to do was cross the road and talk to her. No, screw that, he didn’t even need to talk to her. He could just watch her eat noodles and he’d be content with that!

Something about seeing Lee Hayi in her ordinary clothes felt quite intimate to Jiwon. He was sure that he was the only one to know about this; how Lee Hayi liked going to noodle shops at midnight and how she wore clothes as plain as day. That was going to be their own little secret.

And just as Jiwon got out of the shop, about to press that same pedestrian crossing button the drunk man was trying to press beforehand, he stopped.

And he stared.

Kim Hanbin from his class was there with Lee Hayi. Kim Hanbin who beat the out of a homeroom teacher earlier on that day. Kim Hanbin who has tattoos all over and smokes like there’s no tomorrow. Kim Hanbin who he used to see gambling in pool halls. Kim Hanbin who was now sitting across the girl he liked.

Perhaps Hanbin sensed the intensity of his gaze, because he suddenly turned, catching Jiwon’s stare directly through the window.

So Jiwon walked away.

He remembered the time Hayi told him she didn’t see Hanbin on the rooftop—that she only went there for fresh air. And so each step the boy took, he had started to feel as if something heavy was clutching onto his heart.

. . .

just like the rain // a song i can call my favourite today

some things  happened to me recently, so i wasn't able to update faster. my confidence in writing was kinda shaken. i'd know what to write but as soon as i start writing, words go missing. blank. nothing comes out. and when i finally do find the words, i'd doubt and keep doubting about whether it's good enough or not. i rarely ever did this before, so i have no idea why i'm doing it now.

anyway, thank you--as always--for waiting and for reading. i can't promise an amazing, consistent story with flawless writing, but i am trying. ^^ ♡