There is not a day that goes by that Joonmyun doesn't think about Yixing. How the chinese male liked the day instead of the night. How his lips would purse when he was confused and in deep thought. Joonmyun founds himself laying in bed at 3 am wondering what Yixing would say to him if he saw how much of a mess Joonmyun was now. 

"Pick up your clothes, brush your hair and eat an apple."

Joonmyun laughs softly, yeah Yixing would say eat an apple. The Korean born turns on his side, eyes focusing on the empty bed side. In a way he can still feel Yixing here with him, if he thought hard enough he could imagine him right beside him. If he listened long enough he could hear the sweet voice singing him softly to sleep. But Joonmyun knew it was just his mind trying to fill in the empty holes in his life. His mind wonders now, hands gripping at the vacant pillow that used to be Yixing's. His scent still lingered on the fabric and it made Joonmyun feel completely depressed once more.

It's now 3:30 am and he knows he should be asleep but he can't really sleep now and days, his mind is filled with Yixing, his dreams are invaded by him. Sometimes he his memories become dreams, he relives the sweet memories of him and Yixing, but they always end the same with the other leaving. Fading, disappearing within a blink of an eye.

And other times he dreams that Yixing is still here, but that too comes to an end. Leaving Joonmyun feeling like every morning or night.

Joonmyun tells himself Yixing hated when they stayed up past 12 and that he should really go to sleep now but he can't because silently he is waiting for the other to walk in through that bedroom door, apologizing for being late and panting because he ran all the way home from work just to save a few extra bucks.

The sound of the wall clock ticking was the only thing keeping him from going insane now. 

Joonmyun wonders what Yixing would do if he knew that Joonmyun hated living without him. How much he hates the stars now. What would Yixing tell him then? He would probably say some wise chinese thing about life and people and the history of mankind, then smile cutely as he looks at Joonmyun. "Life has a certain course it must run, we shouldn't interfere with it." 

In all honestly the only reason Joonmyun sleeps is because he tires himself out with the thoughts of his lover. 

There isn't a night that goes by that Joonmyun doesn't cry himself to sleep. Burying his face in the pillow of Yixing, sobbing about how cruel the world was for taking such an angel from him. How much he wished he could die as well.

Joonmyun really wants to smoke.

But he can't because he remembers - Yixing hates it when he smokes. 

I wrote a short part two because a few people wanted one. Lol so I hope you enjoyed it. I didn't really like how it turned out. ;;