"All I wanted was a happy ending, and I'll be okay, if you just stay with me"

Jackson,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry about everything. I never wanted any of this to happen. It's all my fault. If we hadn't gone, if I hadn't been so damn persistent, you'd be okay. We'd be okay. It's ironic really. You were the reckless one, the one who always wanted to do the stupid things for fun, but this time it was me who dragged you into this. You knew it was a bad idea and I should've listened, because if Jackson Wang couldn't do something then that's how I'd know it was too dangerous. I guess I just wanted to prove something to you, like I could handle the thrills just like you. I guess I just wanted to impress you for once instead of the other way around. God, I’m such a coward. I can’t even apologize to your face. I didn’t even have the decency to call you.

I couldn’t even bring myself to stay because every time I’d see you it’d just be a reminder of that night. Your parents blame me too don’t they. I know my own father is disappointed in me, but he says he still loves me. How can he say that? How can anyone say that? How can you still say it after what I did to you? I’m so sorry Jackson. I love you so much, but in the end, I was no good for you. I hope someday I’ll be able to earn your forgiveness, even though I don’t deserve it. How many times have I said sorry in this letter? Regardless, I’m sorry for what happened, I’m sorry I left you behind, but most of all, I’m sorry you won’t even be able to see this letter yourself.

I’ll always love you,

Mark.

~~~

Jackson sits on the couch, the apartment more empty than ever without his lover. The sounds of some drama on tv is the only noise indicating that someone is living inside. Jackson stopped paying attention a long time ago, ever since Jaebum had called him to tell him he finally got a letter from Mark. At first he had been ecstatic, but upon hearing the contents of the letter, nothing but a