I’ve always insulted her. I always tell her how I hate her. I always embarrass her in front of the whole school. I call her names, I break her heart. But she always had that smile on her face. No matter what, she stands up and just smiles.

“Why? Why are you like this?” I asked her.

She came near me and whispered. “Because…”

“Because what?”

She fell down.

“Haeri, w-what’s wrong?”

She shook her head. “It’s nothing. I thought you didn’t care about me, Jeongmin.” She grinned.

I stood up, blushed and walked away. I’ve always hid a secret from her. I do those mean things, because I love her. I love her. I don’t know why I keep on hurting her. I’m just so confused.

But then I looked back at her. She was trying ever so hard to stand up. So I ran by her side and helped her. Just then, she fainted.

 

“It’s leukaemia, Jeongmin.” She says as she reached for my hand. I couldn’t look at her. She was lying there on the bed, looking so weak. But she still smiled. God, I love her smile, but I can’t believe she’s still smiling.

“Stop that.” I said through gritted teeth.

She took her hand away.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, biting my lip, trying my best not to cry.

“You don’t care about me, right?” She said, laughing.

I stood up. “I can’t take it anymore! Haeri! You always keep that smile on your face but you’re sick! You’re sick…” I trailed off; I felt tears trickling down my cheeks.

She stood up from her bed.

“Hey, hey, you lay back there! Haeri…” She touched my cheek and wiped away my tears with her thumb.

“Oppa.”

 

There we were. Playing under the stars. She was hiding behind the tree but I could definitely see her. We were so small then. Like elves. I crept behind her and surprised her. She ran away as she laughed.  Back then, we were so happy. She used to call me oppa.

 

“You called me oppa.”

“You want me to call you Jeongmin again?” She asked, giggling.

She was still holding onto my cheek but then I shook my head. “Call me whatever you want to call me.”

“Oppa, I miss you. Every single day of my life, I miss you so much.”

I was tearing up again. I couldn’t believe all the nasty things I’ve done to her. All those moments I ignored her. All those people who laughed at her. All those days I left her.

“Oppa, you’ll always be my best friend and I’ll always...”

She held her chest and there was a pained look on her face.

“Are you ok?” I asked, panicking.

She smiled. “I-I’m ok, oppa.”

How could she do that to herself? How could she be so strong?

“Haeri, I’m sorry.”

She came near me and she hugged me. That was the warmest hug I’ve ever received.

“I’ve already forgiven you. Oppa, I love you.”

 

For the past three days, I’ve been going in and out of the hospital. Haeri has no family. Her mother and father divorced. Her mother died. But her father continues to support her. That’s how lonely her life is and I made it lonelier. I made it worse.

“Haeri,” We sat side by side on her hospital bed. I held her hand.

She looked at our hands and smiled. “Yeah?”

“Why do you always smile?” I asked her.

“Because I’m sad and I don’t want the people around me to be sad too.” She said. And for the very first time, a tear fell from her eye.

“Haeri.”

“I’ve always tried to be strong, oppa. For you. I thought that if I could show you my smile, you would be happy for me too. Oppa, when I die, promise me, you won’t cry, ok?”

“Y-You won’t die.” I tell her. Why is she asking that of me?

“Oppa, look at me.” I looked at her. Her eyes were lonely.

“Kiss me.” She requested. I drew my face near hers and when our lips touched, my heart jumped wildly.

 

I rested my forehead on hers and we smiled at each other.

“I love you, Haeri.”

“Oppa, you should go now.”

I looked at my watch. It was an hour before curfew.

“Why?” I wanted to stay with her.

“It’s gonna get dark soon and I don’t want you to get hurt on your way home.” And she flashed her big smile. I nodded and kissed her on the forehead.

“See you tomorrow, Haeri.” I waved.

“See ya!” She said, cheerfully.

 

“I’m sorry sir, but Haeri is… dead.” The nurse said.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to kill myself. I sat down on an empty chair and wept silently. I remember my promise to Haeri, but I couldn’t take it. I cried rivers of tears. Just then, a nurse approached me.

“She wanted you to have this.”

It was a letter.

And it said:

 

Hey, I told you not to cry. Why are you crying? I love you, oppa. I have always had. You make me smile. Even though you broke my heart, I still love you. Oppa, I’ve always been lonely. But whenever I see you, the loneliness just drifts away. I know you don’t love me as much as I love you. Oppa, promise me another thing, please? Promise me you’ll forget about me. Please oppa. Forget about me. I’ll be watching you in heaven so don’t you go crying over me.

                                                                                                                           I love you forever,

                                                                                                                                Haeri

 

I crumpled the letter. Haeri… Haeri… why did I do those things to you? Why did I let you go?

I cried and cried. But I felt someone hugging me. I bet it was an angel. I bet it was Haeri.