Im Jaebum is one of the most eligible bachelors on his home planet, JYP. Regrettably, he lacks any urge for reproduction. The extent of his lacking is so great that he has recently officially been classified as a eunuch, despite his mother’s protests to the contrary.

Jaebum himself finds the matters of eunuch-hood and marriage and reproduction about as important as a pile of amoeba’s droppings. He is the beloved commander of a very famous starship, GOT6. To divert his focus to lesser matters would mean the end of his career--this is what he tells his mother, anyway.

And so, on the eve of the end of the sixth moon cycle, Jaebum kisses his mother good-bye without having so much as blinked at the multitude of batted lashes and exposed bits he had been subjected to on his home-planet. He plans to leave immediately--Jinyoung, his lead researcher, has discovered a new planet.

GOT6 is a starship devoted to vanilla endeavours. While 2PM, its brother-ship, might seek out danger and spoils, GOT6 merely seeks to understand the universe. Jaebum himself is not a scientist, but he is an emotionally-attuned and commanding military man: he keeps his crew in check.

The moment Mark finishes his repairs on GOT6, Jaebum commands his crew to blast off to a planet called Earth, leaving his fearsome mother and multitude of fans behind. His chastity remains intact.

--

Half an Earth’s revolution later, his crew arrives.

“Hyung, it’s so hot!” Youngjae whines, patting his Earthling clothing. He and Jaebum are wearing “sneakers,” hideous flat-bottomed contraptions designed to wring the sweat out of Earthling feet.

“Youngjae, set the equipment down. Let’s take a break.” Jaebum mercifully hauls some black luggage from Youngjae’s hands, setting them on a nearby park bench.

He and Youngjae are out to find a suitable specimen in China, one of the most densely populated Earthling countries. Unfortunately, Youngjae--the designated blackhole in GOT6--injected both Jaebum and himself with Korean language serum. So far, they have been unable to convince a single Chinese-speaking Earthling to return with them to the starship.

“This might be a bust,” Jaebum says, keeping his temper in check. Youngjae’s lower lip quivers. “However, I think Jinyoung will be able to provide an antidote to your language serum in a few days. Then we can try again.” Jaebum tries his best to look encouraging and leader-like: “Do better next time.”

Youngjae looks devastated.

They both sit on the park bench for awhile, Youngjae awkwardly removing his sneakers while Jaebum pretends to think. The sun’s rays are so hot that Jaebum begins to believe that they are actually far-away lasers. Either that, or part of some large-scale convection oven. Jaebum is too afraid to take off his own sneakers, for he fears his feet have become roast meat.

Suddenly, another pair of earthling sneakers appears before them. Youngjae looks up with wide, hopeful eyes.

“Mei shi ma?” the earthling asks, grinning beatifically. It must have adapted to the heat, if it can look so happy while sweating as heavily as it is. Jaebum thinks it is a particularly cute specimen, short and broad, with white teeth and an unusual head decoration.

“We are lost!” Youngjae yells in English. Jaebum wants to hit him.

“Are you?” the earthling responds, also in English. “I’m actually just visiting Shanghai from Hong Kong, so I’m a little bit lost too, haha.” The earthling then goes off on a little tangent, gesticulating and enthusiastically relating its petty adventures to Jaebum and Youngjae. Jaebum’s feet are roasting, and his temper is running short.

“Do you speak Korean?” Jaebum interrupts. He doesn’t bother with English, since that particular language serum had barely worked. The earthling looks even more excited, and hesitates. Then it speaks:

“Uh, I, uh, learn Korean very good!” It bows deeply and then swings back up. “My name is Jackson.” It pauses. “College, beginner, ha-ha!” It ends its sentence with a high little laugh. Youngjae holds his hand out for a high five. Jaebum wants to hit them both.

“Actually my friend,” Jaebum says slowly, pausing, “has a house near here. It’s very cool, and we were going there to have fun.” Jaebum puts on the charming smile that he uses for government broadcasts. “You can come with us.”

Youngjae suddenly remembers the mission. “Yes, come with us!” He holds the earthling’s hand, already chummy as can be. “Please!”

The earthling doesn’t even think about it. “Of course!” He yells, fist-pumping. “Let’s go have fun!” He runs off in the opposite direction, not knowing where GOT6’s starship is. Jaebum has felt less exasperated when dealing with children.

“Yes, this way!” Jaebum calls, using his commander’s voice. He grabs the earthling’s hand and leads him away.

“What is your name?” the earthling asks with great interest, keeping up with Jaebum’s quick strides.

“Hyung’s name is Jaebum,” says Youngjae, noticing Jaebum’s shortening fuse. “My name is Youngjae. We are definitely Korean.” Youngjae looks at the earthling very seriously. “From Earth, the country that is on Earth.” Jaebum sighs.

“And I am Jackson, from Mars!” Jackson says. “Just kidding, I am from Hong Kong.”

“Oh my god!” Youngjae replies in English. “Your Korean...so good!”

Jaebum makes a mental note to put Youngjae on kitchen duties for a week.

The walk to the ship is only supposed to be fifteen minutes, but Youngjae and “Jackson” begin to engage each other in an utterly inane conversation about female interaction. Youngjae nods sagely. “Yes, when you go on a date, you have to touch her a little. Then she connects with you on a biophysical level.” Youngjae puts his hand on Jackson’s shoulder. “Like this,” Youngjae says, before Jackson pushes him off.

“I do this,” Jackson says, turning to Jaebum. “Hey, JB, you be the girl.”

“Ya, who is JB,” Jaebum replies, peeved. He’s still holding Jackson’s hand. Suddenly, Jackson smacks his thumb onto Jaebum’s cheek. Jaebum stares at him, but Jackson maintains intense eye contact. He then places the offending thumb in his own mouth, expression unwavering.

Jaebum blushes.

“Oh, my god!” Youngjae yells, again in English. Jaebum removes his hand from Jackson’s and wipes his face. Jackson beams, and it reshapes his face into something horrifyingly cute. He shakes a fist near his face and simpers “Jaebum-hyung, Jaebum-hyung,” in some attempt at mollification.

Jaebum is a little bit reminded of his pet Nora. But he still smacks Jackson upside the head.

---

“We’re here,” Jaebum announces, only a few feet away from their camouflaged ship. “Jinyoung, come out!”

“I don’t see anything,” Jackson replies cheerily, craning his head this way and that. “Why are we in the woods? This is a weird place to have a house. I really need to pee, so can we go in now? Where is it? I-”

He falls to the floor, unconscious.

“Good job, Jinyoung,” Jaebum says curtly, bending over to pick Jackson up. Jinyoung smiles, still in his lab coat, tranquilizer held elegantly in his hand.

“Here, let me help,” Jinyoung says. He grabs Jackson’s sneaker-clad feet. Jaebum pushes him away. “Let me,” he insists, carefully resting Jackson’s head on his shoulder. “You’ve done enough.”

“Well, this one’s not bad,” Jinyoung eyes Jackson’s sleeping countenance appraisingly. “He’s just your type.”

Jaebum snorts, one arm under Jackson’s shoulders and the other supporting his legs. “I have no type.” Jackson’s head falls into his neck.

“You were totally macking on that one intern,” Jinyoung says, activating the de-camouflager. “This specimen’s the same: cute and loud.”

Youngjae decides to chime in: “Jaebum blushed.” Youngjae looks a little bit scared, and also in awe. “Jaebum-hyung can blush.” Jaebum makes a mental note to assign Youngjae kitchen duty indefinitely.

“That’s the equivalent of popping a ,” Jinyoung says, smirking placidly. “For a eunuch.” At this, Youngjae makes a sad noise. “Jaebum-hyung is a late-bloomer,” he protests, shooting Jaebum a sympathetic look.

Jaebum honestly could care less about governmental designations. He’s fully aware of his own functionalities. He enters the ship, Youngjae and Jinyoung in tow, where Mark is waiting for the signal to take off.

“Yugyeom!” Jaebum shouts, waiting. No Yugyeom is forthcoming. The young ones are quite disobedient. “Kumpimook!”

Jinyoung and Youngjae exchange glances. “Why don’t you just strap the specimen in yourself?” Jinyoung asks boredly. Youngjae nods. “Yeah, I think you would enjoy it anyway.” Jinyoung examines his nails and Youngjae belatedly laughs. Jaebum stares at them, wondering why he ever agreed to commandeer this group.

He sets down the ship’s hall, Jackson’s face firmly planted in his neck. He mumbles in his sleep, and Jaebum feels a soft set of lips brushing his skin. He definitely does not blush.

Along the way, he passes Kumpimook eating jellies and fiddling with his communicator. Usually, Jaebum would send him to scrub every deck for ignoring orders and lazing about on the job, but Jackson’s light breaths on his shoulder and warm weight quell his anger a bit. He insists to himself that it’s just like holding Nora--just the sort of calming effects that interacting with an animal might give.

Jackson nuzzles him. Jaebum does not blush.