There’s nothing better to Yoongi than getting a little high and ing Jimin right into the mattress. That’s how they always do it. They share a joint, if they’re lucky Yoongi’s’ dealer feels good one day and he gives him an extra for free and they can each do one. The boys inhale the harsh chemicals at Yoongi’s rundown apartment, smoke filling the bedroom up quickly. He knew the horrible smell would stick to his clothing and his sheets, but he couldn’t care less.

Quickly enough Jimin began to giggle uncontrollably. Quickly enough Yoongi started craving Jimin’s lips more than usual.

Jimin started getting touchy, cracking bad jokes and laughing at every little thing like a kid. He was having the time of his life and Yoongi knew so. Yoongi laughed too, not quite as high as Jimin, preferring to stay a little bellow cloud 9, he always gave Jimin the most hits.

Sometimes Yoongi thought he shouldn’t waste his money on weed to get him and his boyfriend high. Sometimes he thought it was immoral to give such a young kid something as dangerous as a drug to play with. But Yoongi always remembered he lived in a rundown apartment, worked too many jobs and had no family left in his life. He thought he deserved a little happiness once in a while. As for Jimin, he didn’t have a particularly bad life; a good family and a couple of loyal friends, but he was too daring for his own sake. The first time Yoongi mentioned doing drugs Jimin seemed everything but scared. He was curious and, as he put it, nothing bad could happen if he was with hyung.

Yoongi’s favorite part was coming, when Jimin’s high was less of a happy trip and more of a lust-filled one. He stopped giggling but a smirk remained on his lips.

“Yoongi…It’s getting hot.” Jimin moved closer to Yoongi.

The first time they got high together Yoongi didn’t expect anything but high pitched giggles and Jimin’s adorable eyesmile. When Jimin stopped laughing and began kissing Yoongi roughly he was taken aback. The first time they had while high was messy, either of them able to control themselves and just craving each other.

Now it was almost like routine.

Now they were able to handle themselves better. They grinded into each other until Jimin couldn’t take it anymore and begged Yoongi to him as roughly as he could. Yoongi never complained and always fulfilled his boyfriend’s request.

But now the good times are over, and Jimin’s daring personality got the best of him.

It’s no longer fun for Yoongi because one day Jimin shows up at his house with bloodshot eyes and a look between absolute panic and supremacy. Yoongi can’t ignore the white trail left behind under Jimin’s nose and he knows he did this to the innocent boy.

Jimin rapidly looks around Yoongi’s house and smiles brightly. The smile never reaches his eyes the way Yoongi likes it thought.

Yoongi walks toward Jimin and puts his arms on his shoulders. He lowers his head and tries to follow Jimin’s dilated eyes.

“How many lines?” Yoongi asks, terrified of the answer he will receive.

Jimin acts startled, like he hadn’t noticed Yoongi until he asked him the question. “What are you talking about hyung?” Jimin laughs, “I can’t even begin to describe what I’m feeling!” Jimin grabs onto Yoongi’s neck and closes the distance between them. Jimin was sloppy and his teeth kept colliding with Yoongi’s.

Yoongi pulls away.

“Jimin you need to calm down. How long ago did you do it?”

“Do what hyung?” Jimin laughs so much he nearly runs out of breath.

Yoongi holds him in his arms, doing his best to keep the boy under control for as long as it took for him to come down from the high. When he finally does he isn’t the same.

Yoongi tries to convince him to stop using it. To stop going to parties only to go into the bathroom and do a couple of lines off the edge of a stranger’s toilet. A couple of times Jimin complies to his request; whenever he gets really afraid because the police is near his dealer’s track or when Yoongi threatens to leave him.

Yoongi can’t decide what’s worse;  Jimin so high on coke that he can barely distinguish the feeling of euphoria and pure panic, or Jimin breaking a cold sweat, his eyes unblinking, barely being able to breath and flinching to every little sound as he fights the crave for one more line.

Yoongi isn’t sure what terrifies him more. It takes three times for Yoongi to realize that Jimin is too weak for withdrawal because he doesn’t do it because he truly wants to stop, he does it because he can’t imagine living without Yoongi in his life.

It takes an overdose from one of his best friends for Jimin to want to stop his addiction.

Yoongi finds Jimin curled up in a ball, digging his nails into his knee so deep that bruises are starting to appear. Yoongi takes the boy in his arms and pulls him into his house and into the bed.

“He’s dead hyung. He’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead, he’s dead. Jungkook is dead hyung.” Jimin crawls from the bed to Yoongi, snot and tears mixing on his face. He reaches up, “Help me hyung. Please help me, I don’t wanna die.” His sobs fill the room.

Yoongi kneels down and wipes Jimin’s face.

“It’s alright baby, we’ll get through this together. This time for real.” He hugs Jimin and carries him over to the bed once again.

Jimin doesn’t sleep that night.

The crave for another line is so strong he considers stealing Yoongi’s money and using it all on coke. Then he remembers Jungkook’s sweet, innocent smile and the how he will never get see it again. He cries through the night.

When Yoongi wakes up Jimin is curled up next to him, he’s sweating, and his breathing is too quick for it to be normal. Jimin looks terrified, but he closes his eyes and holds his arm.

Yoongi can’t decide what terrifies him more, seeing Jimin curled up in a ball going through withdrawal for a third time, or waiting the day Jimin does one too many lines.