i never know that i will feel like this...

bored...

suddenly feel bored...

do you ever feel that?

it's killing me....

"Argggghhhh!!!" i scream.Let out my frustration. My head hang low. A cold wind says hello to me. And many pair of eyes looked weirdly at me whispering something about me.

I'm in park with my lovely bike beside me n sat on the grass. wore Skinny jeans, black tank top with grey jacket, mess hair with snapback. earphone in my ear like saying something about songs i play, actually a complain, "why are you not listen to the music? Am i just an accecories in your ear?" people will see me as a crazy person.

"bored, bored, bored..." i murmured. My unnies has their own bussiness and can't always accompany me. My friends too.

when something like this happen to me, i often think, 'When they are need me even though for a silly thing, i always try to go as soon as possible to them althought i'm busy too. Itry to give my time to them although a little. But why, when i need someone, nobody show up for me?'

"although this is my birthday, did they forget about me?" i murmured once again.

Songs just come in to my right ear but go out from my left ear.

suddenly, i see that my cousins and my friends send a wish for me.. it's enough to make me smile...

***

the day after...

same like yesterday... no one show up, no one hug me, no one pat my head, no one wishing me. not anymore... a lonely days...

same like yesterday... sit on same place, with same bike, with same earphone, with same jacket but no hat...

same like yesterday... wind still say hello to me, people look weirdly at me, whispering something about me...

and same like yesterday, my earphone complain at me,"stop using me if you not listen to music! I just make your ear hurt..."

but i don't mind...

i used to dance every time to kill stress, but suddenly, i don't wanna do it....

i just snap a picture, upload, browsing and complaining about someting i don't like.

"Look at you, you look ugly," i said when i saw my face on my instagram.

"Look at you, you look weird!"

"Shut up!!" and i realized, someone stood in front of me. Ilift my head and i got my friend figure with guitar bag in his back.

"Why? Are you disagree?"

"Ouch, shut up! You make my mood worse."

But he is not move. He puts his gutar beside him and he took a sit beside me. He shows his smile.. Ouch, sometimes his smile make me want to puke.

"WHat are you doing seungyoon?"

"Sit..."

"Argg, not that. why are here?"

"Did you not see my guitar?"

"So?"

"Me, guitar, in the park." he try to give me a puzzle. and cling, an answer come in my mind.

"Ah, you just busking. How much you got?"

"Not too much but at least, i can eat for 2 days." i forget to tell you, seungyoon is my friend but not an ordinary friend. He just live with his mom and he has to work twice and harder. sometimes, he is busking. Not only to get the money but he want to sing and let his words in her mind and his feel in his heart out. Lets people know how he feels. How tough his life. Lets world know, how beautiful his voice.

I know him coz i tend to spend my day in park. listen to his songs, share my food with him and share my thought. He shared his life too,...

i wonder why he still can put his smile in his face although his life is not easy. "My mom." he just answer that. He used to be a boy who can't accept why this hard life has to come to him, but his mom came to him. Embraced him and shower him with all her love. He realized, started that time, he want to see his mom smile. everyday, every time. and i know, although from outside, seungyoon who has same age as me look like other teenager, but deep inside, i know, he is already a man.

"Oy!!" he waved his hand in front of me and make me come back to real life.

"What?"

"I asked you, why are you here?"

"Sit.." and he laugh. Am i wrong?

he still laughing and try to reduce his laugh. "Your face... so funny."

i hit him. Hard. til he yelp of pain. "You should be a boxer not a dancer!"

"Heish.."

"~kkk, just kidding. What are you doing here?"

"Bored,"

"It's show on your face."

"SO why are you asking?"

"Ehmm, maybe you will share your problem to me?"

"I can't. You already have a lot of problem in your life. I can't add with mine."

"Why? Thats what a friend for..."

I face him and pat his shoulder. "Yoonie, i can't tell you my problem if i can't find correct words to tell you."

"Then, just dance like you usually do."

"I lost my will to dance..."

"Why?" his face start to worry.

"I don't know, i just... i just... lost it." my head hang low and we stay in silent for a while. And something touch my hair. I look up and he smow me his smile. ANd this time i see his smile is beautiful. "Happy birthday Minji-ah." my eyes widened. "I'm sorry that i didn't show up yesterday coz i have work." he sense that i still lost. He looks shy and then say, "I just don't want you feel lonely in your special day, minji."

"Why?"

"Why? You ask me why?" he chuckled. "Because i know how lonely it feels. Because i know the feel when you need somebody but no one come to you. I just, don't wanna you feel like i used to. The feeling is like could kill you slowly. inside."

i smile to him. this man, sometimes i really adore him. If i become him, maybe i'll often ended up with a bottle of soju in my hands.

"Seungyoon-ah.."

"Hmm?"

"Can you singing happy birthday for me?" he smile once again. He took his guitar and start to sing...

happy birthday to you

happy birthday to you

happy birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday to you

saengil cukha hamnida

saengil cukha hamnida

sarang hanul uri minji, saengil cukha hamnida

while seungyoon sings, i can feel his heart. 

he finish it and look deep inside minji's eyes. "No matter how lonely you are, think about people around you. when you can't find anyone, call me, i'll come for you. I'll sit beside you, pat you, hug you, smile for you, listening what you think, do a crazy thing with you."

"Can i get my hug?" i said. actually i say when i said that, but i really want to hug him. Seems like he need a comfort too. he put his guitar on his side.

He hugs me tightly. "You to, yoonie. Call me when every time espefcially when you need someone. Don't bear all problems in your shoulder.. alone.. cry when you want to cry. I'll dance for you when you down. And thank you." he buried his head on my crook of neck. i could his snift and he whisper, "thank you..."

i pat his back and released the hug. From yesterday, i felt bored but now, i can say 'good bye my bored time. Maybe just for now...'

i see seungyoon wipe his tears. "Look, you make me cry."

"Eyy.. don't blame it to me..." and he start to smile again...

"Seungyoon-ah..."

"Hmm..."

"Thank you and happy earlier birthday..."

his smile ear to ear... "Thank you and happy belated birthday..."

spend my time with friend. chat, laugh, cry, together. and i don't feel bored. 

I should do this often... am i right? ~kkkkk

---

done...

happy belated birthday for seunghoon on 11th, for me on 17th, minzy on 18th and happy birthday seungyoon on 21th

wish you all d'best hehehe

thank you n sorry..

leave a comment... ~^^