I've been in the same class for two years now, this is nothing unusual. So there is nothing out of order with me feeling so sad that I want to throw up.

It's normal.

As usual.

Like every other day.

The other girls and boys in school are passing behind my back while I'm standing in front of my locker.  The school I'm in is known for it's quality when it comes to teachers and education.

The building itself would never win a prize though. It's a small school, the classrooms are rebuilt blocks of apartments. It's right in the middle of town, and yet no one seems to know where it's at.  Ever heard of my school? My school, with it's lack of air-condition (being in a classroom right after a dissection is not a pleasant experience), my school with it's spinach-coloured walls covered in marks from hundreds of students having carved in their names with keys and pens. Yeah, that's the one.

I shut my locker and lock it. The guy above me does the same a second later, hitting my head with the metal door in the process. He pretends not to notice it, of course. It's the same almost every day. He too knows I'm to worthless to deserve anything better that that.

Biting on the inside of my chin, I walk off to stand a few metres outside the classroom that my class is going to be in for the next period. A few girls sit on a bench nearby talking quietly among themselves. The rest of the space in the narrow hallway is occupied be the guys. 

Yup, I'm in a class with almost only boys. You might have thought that having lots of people with the same gender to talk to might have increased the chance of finding a friend, but that is definitely not the case. There are many group formations within my class, and certain people from different groups are allowed to talk to people from other groups. I've had plenty of time to observe this, seeing as I'm more broken than anyone around me. 

Ill will is what keeps my class together, it feels like. They backtalk on each other, gossip constantly. They are shallow, mean and free of any kind of sympathy.  That's what I feel towards my class.

There are of course people who are worse than that.

And people who are better.

Minho, for example, he always smiles and never jokes on anyone else's behalf. I know little about him, but I know that everyone is drawn towards him.

Everyone wants to be friends with Minho, they all get nicer and happier when he is around. Maybe they're drawn to his everlasting happiness and charisma because of their own lack of it.

Well, whatever the reasons, he's obviously the most popular guy in our class. So I'm sure he'll never talk to me. It's not as if he'll ever even notice my existence.

But I sure wish he would.