Donghae held the phone to his ear, pausing a moment before speaking in a voice almost too low to be heard; “Tell me Kyu, How do I get Hyuk back?” 

This was a cycle. Donghae would fall off the wagon and call his brother Kyuhyun. Kyuhyun made it his job to talk Donghae back onto the wagon.

“Donghae! No. You don’t want that. Don’t forget all the rubbish that he put you through. Have you forgotten already?”The disappointment in his voice was hard to miss.

“But Kyu…” 

“But nothing, he hurt you so much.”

“I love him,”

“And yet there were still lies Hae,” 

“He loved me.”

“And what about the cheating? He hurt you too much. Could you really trust him not to do that again?”

There was a pause as Donghae reflected on the question, “No. I could never trust him again.”

“That’s true, I couldn’t let you. I’m never going to let you get hurt like that again. And think about Yoona.”

Donghae took  a moment to think about the girl who had helped him get through the final destruction of his relationship with Eunhyuk. The girl who was perhaps his final chance at love. 

“Maybe it’s time to move on Hae, and I really think that Yoona can help you do that.”

When the conversation ended Donghae seriously considered moving on for the first time. 

***

Eunhyuk had a good life. He really did. It wasn’t a lie that he had to tell himself each morning to make himself go on. Eunhyuk was happy. He really was. It wasn’t a lie that he made up to avoid facing the fact that he may have sent his only hope for happiness away. Eunhyuk had no regrets. How could he have regrets when he hadn’t destroyed the core of his life with his lies and cheating. Eunhyuk had a half empty bottle of Donghae’s aftershave in their apartment. There really was no reason why it should be there at that moment, Donghae had been gone for months and the chances of him coming back were slim. But if he threw away the bottle then Donghae’s scent would leave the apartment permanently. He was going to throw the bottle away. Eventually. Eunhyuk spent every night in a different person’s bed because he wanted to. It wasn’t an attempt to find a touch that replicated Donghae’s touch. He was going to move on for real one day. To be honest there was a new dance instructor that he could imagine himself dating. There were times that he could swear that she smelt like him. That there was the ghost of Donghae around her. Either way he was going to get her, whether or not she claimed to have a boyfriend. 

***

“How was class.” 

“It was great, everyone has been so welcoming.” Donghae had just picked up Yoona from her dance class. There was something about the scent on her, something oddly familiar.

“You ready for dinner?” Yoona nodded her reply as she reapplied her makeup using the mirror in the car.

“Yes.” She turned to look at him, “How do I look?” 

Donghae stole his eyes from the road to glance at her for a moment, “You look good enough to eat.”

She laughed at his response; “ I should hope so. Now hurry  up and drive to the restaurant. I wouldn’t want to become dinner.”

Halfway through dinner, Yoona got a phone call. Looking at the caller ID she thought twice about answering,  “Who is it?” Donghae asked.

Yoona thought about lying, “It’s a coworker of mine,” she thought about leaving out the controversial part of the truth, but decided that the whole truth was better than a half truth, “he’s been trying to flirt with me. I keep telling him that I have a… that I have someone I like but he won’t take the hint.” She couldn’t lie to him. Not after knowing the havoc that lies had done to his last relationship. Eunhyuk was hot, it would be a lie to say that he wasn’t somewhat of a temptation. But he wasn’t Donghae. That was the problem with him and everyone else, they weren’t Donghae. She had fallen for him the moment she met him six months ago. He was drowning in alcohol after having just gotten out of a long term relationship. She loved him and she wasn’t going to do what his ex had done to him. They never talked about this mysterious ex but from what she had heard of him from Kyuhyun, Donghae’s brother, and Sungmin, the brothers boyfriend she knew that he had really hurt Donghae. That’s why she was willing to be patient. Willing to wait for him to love her back. Nothing was going to distract her, not Eunhyuk not anyone. 

“Do you want me to come in to talk to him for you. To tell him to stop bothering my girlfriend?” Yoona, smiled at that. He had never called her that before. 

“No. You don’t have to. Let me just answer the phone, see what he wants now.”

Donghae played with his food until Yoona was done on the phone. “I guess he has a schedule for tomorrow’s studio times that I can only get from him tonight.”

Donghae nodded quietly, still picking at his food quietly. Yoona knew about the insecurities that their relationship had inherited from his last relationship. “Donghae,” He looked at her, “Can you go pick it up for me from the studio. I’m a little tired tonight.” Donghae smiled softly at her. This way he could see that she could be trusted that she was opening her life to him, no section separated. Keeping a thick wall between the personal life and everything else was one mistake that Eunhyuk had made in their relationship. “Sure. I can do that. Do you want me to drive you home first?”

They finished dinner and she called Eunhyuk to tell him that her boyfriend was going to come pick the schedule up for her. After dropping her off Donghae drove down to pickup the schedule.

***

Eunhyuk laughed into the phone after Yoona had dropped the call. Her boyfriend huh? If he was coming to pick the schedule up himself, it meant that he was insecure. If he was insecure then surely the relationship wasn’t that secure. This would be a great opportunity to make it even less secure. He looked in to the mirror in the dance studio to make sure that he still looked good. He needed this boyfriend to confirm his own fears that Eunhyuk was much better for Yoona than him. 

He heard a car approaching and so he went to the entrance of the studio ready to intimidate the boyfriend. 

Eunhyuk saw Donghae before he saw him. His heart stopped like the time in-between them had never passed. Donghae got out of the car and came to the door. He looked good. His hair was longer than it was before. A warm chocolate brown and brushing over his eyes. Donghae headed straight for the door, once he got there he finally noticed Hyuk right behind the studio door. He stopped short.

“Donghae…” Eunhyuk whispered, shaking them both out of their shock. He was back, he came back. Eunhyuk smiled as his hands itched to hold Donghae. That’s when he noticed the frown currently coloring Donghae’s face. Eunhyuk suddenly remembered why they had been apart for all this time. Donghae shook his head laughing, “So you’ve been the one bothering Yoona. I should have guessed.” 

“Yoona?” Eunhyuk thought it over for a while. Yoona? It all made sense now, why Eunhyuk could smell Donghae on Yoona. “You’re Yoona’s boyfriend.” His heart dropped. “Oh.” The words escaped his head for a while before he quietly said; “I’ll go in and get the schedule for you.” He walked back into the studio not even thinking about the fact that he had left Donghae at the door. He took his time getting the schedule trying to prolong the time with Donghae? Or trying to lengthen the time until Donghae would go back to his new life with Yoona. How long had they been dating anyway? Eunhyuk had so many questions that he wished he could ask Donghae.

 “There you go.” He smiled at donghae as he handed him the schedule. Donghae didn’t return the smile, “Thank you.” He grabbed the file and turned to leave but Eunhyuk grabbed his arm before he could go far. “You’re leaving…I mean, let’s get some coffee or something.” Donghae shook his head,

“I really don’t think I …”
“Donghae, please, I haven’t seen you in over six months.”

Donghae looked at him seriously, thinking it over, “I think its best we just leave it at that, I should..”

“Donghae, we were together for six years, I know it wasn’t always perfect but… Its just, can we just, can we just have coffee Hae?” 

Donghae finally gave in, “Okay, just coffee.” He waited while Eunhyuk locked up the dance studio and they walked together to a nearby cafe.

They talked about trivial things for a while, the weather, what they were doing, things that you might discuss with a passing stranger or an inconsequential acquaintance. Eunhyuk had to admit, it was good to see him again. Even if it hurt as well, it was good to see him again. He had enough caffeine in him to now to say the unspoken words between them; “We never really got to talk after the break up.”
“I don’t want to talk about that.”

“You never let me explain myself though.”

“Explain… what is there to explain.”

“Hae, this is the problem, you always jump to expect the worst from me.”
“And why is that, you always do worse than my expectations!” Tears sparkled beneath the surface of both their eyes as their voices got louder and louder. 

“I know that, I don’t mean to but I do, I know that. But I was changing, I had changed, for you!”

“No! You didn’t change.” 

“I did, after Hyoyeon I never cheated again.”
“No.” The passion was gone from Donghae’s voice and he was now just resigned to the situation. “She showed me pictures Hyukkie. Clearly it didn’t end there.”

Eunhyuk’s heart skipped an entire beat, he had called him Hyukkie. No, wait, focus. Pictures? How? It really had ended after Donghae had found out about it the first time. “I don’t know anything about any pictures. What I do know is that after that first time, I never cheated again. I couldn’t, not after knowing what that first time did to you.” At this point tears were flowing freely from Eunhyuk’s eyes. 

Donghae wasn’t so sure about what the truth was anymore. He fought between a need to protect himself and run from the situation and another old instinct to take Eunhyuk’s face in his hands and wipe the tears away with his thumbs. He chose the first option, promptly standing, “Um, I have to… I have to go.” He stood and ran from the cafe. Getting in his car and driving home.

Eunhyuk also left to head to his car. But he was going somewhere completely different. 

                        ***

Twenty minutes later Eunhyuk found himself knocking  on an apartment door that he hadn’t been to in over three years. “Hello, who is…” Hyoyeon paused at the door shocked to see Eunhyuk there, “Hyuk,” she smiled, what are you doing he..” Eunhyuk stormed past her right into the apartment, “What pictures did you show Hae,” The look on his face showed that this man was perfectly capable of committing murder. Hyoyeon gave her tear stained explanation under Eunhyuk’s murderous glare. She had a cousin who was a photo editor, he made the pictures for her. Pictures that showed her and Eunhyuk in a compromising position. She had given the pictures to Donghae, she was still in love with Eunhyuk. She wanted him back. she thought that the only think preventing them from being together was Donghae but seeing as Eunhyuk hadn’t come to her after his break up with Donghae, her dream was shattered. Eunhyuk didn’t stay to hear the rest of her explanation. He ran out of the apartment and back to his car. There was somewhere he needed to be. 

***

Donghae tossed and turned in his bed. Unsure about what he should do. The most important thing was definitely going to be to stay as far away from Eunhyuk as possible. As he finally started to drift off into dream land a loud banging on his door woke him up. 

“Hello, who is…” He didn’t manage to finish his sentence as he felt himself being enveloped into familiar arms. He moved backwards into the lounge and the door closed behind them. As soon as Eunhyuk released Donghae he spoke up, “She lied, I swear. I didn’t cheat. I’ll take a lie detector, truth serum anything, I’ll…”

“I believe you.” and he did, as stupid as it would seem to an outsider, he believed him. “How did you find me?” Donghae sat on his couch staring at the still standing Eunhyuk. “Kyuhyun, I called Kyuhyun.” Donghae’s eyes opened in shock; 

“Kyuhyun told you where I was?” Kyuhyun would never, he wouldn’t, he hated Eunhyuk more than Donghae did; “No, Sungmin did, he answered the phone. I explained it to him, begged, and he told me where you were.”
There was a moment of awkward silence as everything sank in, finally Donghae stood and asked; “Now what?” Eunhyuk didn’t know. When he found out about the picture his first instinct had been to get to the bottom of it. Clear this misunderstanding between them. Now, he didn’t know what he wanted. As Donghae opened his mouth to speak again, it hit Eunhyuk what he wanted. He moved quickly to Donghae and kissed him. He wanted to stop pretending he was over Donghae. He wanted to stop pretending that he could be whole without him. He wanted… Donghae. After a few moments Donghae responded to the kiss, apparently he wanted him too. His hands travelled under Donghae’s shirt as Donghae walked backwards into the bedroom. The rest was pure instinct infused with the urgent passion that you can only get by ignoring a basic craving for so long. It was beautiful. 

As Eunhyuk watched Donghae sleep that night his arm sprawled over his body, he couldn’t help making a vow, that from now onwards he would fight to make sure that he never lost this again. In the early hours of morning Donghae’s phone rang. He reached over to sleepily grab it, “Hello” He croaked, “Oh Yoona!” This immediately woke both of them up. “Yes I, I have the schedule….No, Eunhyuk wasn’t any problem. Yes I’ll… I’ll see you for lunch.” With that Donghae put the phone back down and lay  back down on the bed. He turned to look at Eunhyuk, “What have we done?” Eunhyuk didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know what to say. All he remembered was his vow. So he said the only thing he could say; “I’m not letting you go again.” Donghae opened his mouth to respond, and then closed it again when he realized that he had nothing to say. “Hyuk, let’s talk about it when we wake up ok?” With that Donghae snuggled into Eunhyuk’s shoulder and went to sleep. Yes, Eunhyuk wasn’t going to let Donghae go ever again. Even if he had to fight Yoona, Kyuhyun and whoever else to keep him, he would do it. Hell, he would even fight Donghae himself if it meant that he could go to sleep and wake up with Donghae in his arms every night.

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