Please read Fine China and Polaroid first! Links on the left under "More Stories"

Hongbin hadn't told anyone about the accident.

Jaehwan sighs, leaning his head against the cool wall of the elevator. It's early July, and the summer heat is stifling and muggy—even the air conditioned indoors feel sticky and hot. It was like Hongbin had dropped off the planet… no calls, no texts. Jaehwan wonders how it didn't occur to him that he hadn't heard from his friend. He looks down at his toes peeking out of his slides. The visitor badge clipped to his front feels heavy, and he wishes he didn't have to be here. The elevator doors slide open and Jaehwan steps out, the hospital hallway lights blinding and sterile. He's clutching his phone in one hand, open to his texts from Hongbin, telling him which room to go to. Jaehwan had texted Hongbin earlier that morning, asking if he'd wanted to go shoot some hoops together when he has spare time. Hongbin had replied saying he wouldn't be able to play basketball for a very long time if not never again. Just those words had Jaehwan's stomach in knots. In Jaehwan's other hand is a bouquet of flowers from the hospital gift shop—Jaehwan doesn't realize he's tapping the bouquet nervously against his leg as he searches for Hongbin's hospital room, leaving a sparse trail of yellow flower petals behind himself.

When he finds the right room, Jaehwan falters for a moment before knocking on the frame of the open door.

"Yeah?"

Hongbin's voice is horribly groggy, and Jaehwan forgets to take a deep breath before mustering up his good humor. He s the bouquet into the doorway, keeping himself hidden. "Flower delivery for Mr. Hongbin!" Jaehwan says in a cutesy voice, pretending like the flowers are talking. There's a weak laugh that sounds like an echo of Hongbin's, and Jaehwan feels a burning in his chest, immediately making him wish he'd taken that deep breath.

"You know you can come in, you big loser." Hongbin weakly chuckles, and Jaehwan pokes his head around the door jamb.

Jaehwan hadn't known what to expect. Hongbin had just said in his messages that'd he'd been in an accident and would take a while to recover, and Jaehwan's stomach falls at the sight of his friend in a tangle of wires and IV drips, practically tying him to the hospital bed. There's a sickly sheen of sweat slicking Hongbin's forehead, and Jaehwan can tell he's in a great deal of pain. Jaehwan tries to swallow back the lump that's formed in his throat. "Hey man," Jaehwan says, but it feels like he's choking. "Brought you flowers."

"Thanks," Hongbin murmurs, cracking a smile as Jaehwan sets his bouquet on a table next to a dying vase of flowers. Hongbin's hospital bed is adjusted so that his back is just slightly elevated, and Hongbin watches as Jaehwan pulls a chair to his bedside.

Jaehwan and Hongbin have been friends for just about as long as the both of them can remember. Not best friends, but it always seemed that they wound up together by circumstance, be it neighbors in elementary school or sitting together at the same lunch table in high school, and eventually they grew to become great friends.

For a long moment, Hongbin and Jaehwan sit together quietly. Jaehwan clears his throat. "How are you feeling?" He asks, realizing after that the answer is probably something along the lines of "not so great".

Hongbin shrugs. "I'm alright," he says. "I wish I could get up and walk around."

Jaehwan swallows dryly as Hongbin gazes at his eerily still legs under the pale blue hospital blanket. Jaehwan wipes his sweaty palms on the thighs of his shorts. "So, uh… what exactly happened?"

"Oh," Hongbin says, almost nonchalantly. "I, uh, I got in a car accident. Well, I actually sort of caused it." Hongbin flicks an exhausted glance at Jaehwan, who's listening with his mouth slightly agape, before continuing. "I was with—with—" –swallows hard, his dry lips— "I was with Taekwoon. The car that his us t-boned the driver's side, and of course stupid me was driving. It cracked my spine and now my legs are paralyzed." Jaehwan studies his friend's face. He can't really believe it. Hongbin's eyes look empty as he looks back at Jaehwan. He his chapped lips again. "Granddad says Taekwoon never wants to see me again." Hongbin adds this as if it were another physical injury he were describing.

The heartbroken silence that follows is crowded with beeping equipment and the hum of machines.

Jaehwan remembers when Hongbin had met Taekwoon for the first time. It was like someone had flipped on all the light switches inside Hongbin, because he'd been absolutely glowing—all dimpled smiles and white teeth. Hongbin chattered constantly about Taekwoon, about the music Taekwoon was writing about how Taekwoon would take him out to dinner and buy him flowers. Jaehwan wonders what went wrong. They were the perfect couple.

Hongbin sighs, looking hard at his hands in his lap. "I suppose it's alright though, because I'm the one who broke up with him. That's why the accident happened. Taekwoon got angry."

Jaehwan can't seem to grasp the right words to reply to Hongbin. Nothing can quite come to rest fully on his tongue, everything he thinks of to say just isn't right. So he changes the topic.

"Wh-when do you get to start moving around again?" Jaehwan asks, his stuttering heavy on his lips.

"Ah," Hongbin says, tugging at the collar of his hospital gown. "Well, my legs will never move again, but I'm supposed to start becoming active again in the next couple of weeks. The nurses have already walked me around the hospital in a wheel chair, but my back still hurts a lot from the surgery." Hongbin fidgets with an IV tube and crinkles his nose. "I still can't believe the surgery lasted for over 10 hours."

Jaehwan nods slowly. He can't believe it either. "How often do you walk about with the nurses? I'll come walk with you."

Hongbin's face lights up, and Jaehwan feels a sigh of relief escape him. "Really? That'd be awesome!"

Jaehwan can't help but let a smile slip onto his lips. "Of course," he chirps.

"Can we start today?" Hongbin looks at Jaehwan with now bright eyes, and Jaehwan nods. He'll be free all summer. "Let's go now before they bring me lunch. I'll call the nurse." Hongbin begins to fumble about, but then points to a little remote on his bedside table that's just out of his reach and limited range of motion. "Could you pass me that?" he asks, rather embarrassedly.

Jaehwan chuckles and passes him the remote, and soon after, nurses are wheeling in a wheelchair and moving Hongbin's IV bag onto the stand on the back of the chair. Jaehwan stands aside as the nurses throw back Hongbin's covers, and slowly and gently help him down from the bed and into the wheelchair. It's almost too hard for Jaehwan to watch, Hongbin's face screwing up in pain and the effort of moving just barely a foot or two from the bed. The Hongbin that Jaehwan knows runs and plays basketball and dances and rides a bicycle. As the nurses slowly lower Hongbin into the wheelchair, memories of playing on the high school basketball team together and running on the track in middle school trample their way through Jaehwan's mind, and Jaehwan has to look away until it's all finished. The nurses make sure Hongbin isn't in too much pain, Hongbin nodding and assuring them that he's fine and that he wants to do this. When Jaehwan looks back, there's a fresh sheen of sweat on Hongbin's face, gathering on his brow from the exertion of moving.

"So," one of the nurses says to Jaehwan as he takes the handles of the wheelchair. "Typically we only stay on this floor for convenience, but if you'd like, it'd be okay to take the elevator down to the ground floor and walk around the courtyard and surrounding grounds for a little fresh air." Jaehwan nods, blinking and feeling the weight of responsibility sinking into his bones. "If anything happens, just call for help. There's hospital staff everywhere who will come to assist if need be." Then the nurse addresses Hongbin while the other calls for Hongbin's bed sheets to be changed and for a vase to brought up for Jaehwan's somewhat petal-less flowers. "Hongbin, you know your body's own limits. Take a break if your lower back starts to get painful." The nurse lays a hand on Hongbin's forearm caringly.

"You got it," Hongbin says, and cranes his neck as best he can to look at Jaehwan. "Shall we?"

Jaehwan nods, and the nurses hold the door for him as he wheels Hongbin out into the hallway. The few doctors and nurses they pass all smile at Hongbin and kindly greet Jaehwan. It's strangely harmonious, Jaehwan thinks.

Hongbin pipes up as they make their way towards the elevator. "I'm going to transfer out of the film department," he says, folding his petite hands in his lap.

"Oh?" Jaehwan's mouth forms a surprised little 'o'. They'd been in the film department together ever since they started college, Jaehwan starting first and Hongbin joining a year later, Jaehwan being a grade ahead of Hongbin. Hongbin had been the one to convince Jaehwan to go into film. "But you love it, why transfer out?"

Hongbin reaches out to press the down button for the elevator. He shrugs. "I've never heard of a physically disabled cameraman, and I don't think I have the right determination to be one." The elevator doors slide open. "So I'm transferring into photography. You know I've always loved photography."

Jaehwan nods once they're on the elevator. It's true.

Hongbin continues. "I want to start documenting how my life's changed now that I can't walk." Hongbin sighs afterward and they remain in silence until they emerge outside—there's a light summer rain drizzling, hot and muggy.

It's Jaehwan's turn to sigh, and they stop under the hospital's overhang that shelters the front doors. "Ah," Jaehwan mutters. "It's been raining so much this summer."

Hongbin nods, watching the rain hit the pavement. There's a few other patients out in the same area, all of them doing the same thing—watching the rain hit the pavement. Jaehwan groans and leans on the handles of Hongbin's wheelchair. "You're telling me," Hongbin says with a laugh in response to Jaehwan's groan. Jaehwan chuckles.

"So hey," Hongbin starts, sounding like he's about to change subject. He tips his chin back in an attempt to see Jaehwan. "How's it going with that Sanghyuk of yours?"

Jaehwan can't see Hongbin's face, but his gut and experience tell him that Hongbin is grinning like a wicked fox. Jaehwan feels a hot, hot blush creep onto his cheeks, and he buries his face on his arms. "It's not going," Jaehwan mumbles.

Sanghyuk—Jaehwan's ultimate crush since middle school, and Hongbin's favorite thing to tease about. Hongbin's always poked fun because of how Sanghyuk is two grades behind Jaehwan, and it's never failed to make Jaehwan flush the most embarrassing pink. But there's just something about Sanghyuk that sends Jaehwan reeling.

Jaehwan tries to rub the blush out of his cheeks while Hongbin casually asks to borrow his cell phone. Mindlessly, Jaehwan hands Hongbin his phone, still flustered and pink, thinking about the way Sanghyuk's eyes crinkle when he laughs, not realizing what Hongbin is doing until he hears:

"Hello, Sanghyuk? Yo, it's Hongbin."

Jaehwan swears his stomach just rocketed into his throat.

"Are you busy? You should come hang out with Jaehwan and I." Now Jaehwan's stomach starts to do gymnastics while caught in his throat, and he lunges for his phone, but Hongbin waves him off, and Jaehwan wouldn't dare get more physical. "Actually I'm at the hospital." Jaehwan rubs a hand over his face, giving up. "Nah man it's a long story, I'll explain when you get here. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet, see you soon!" Hongbin hangs up and hands the cell phone back to a petrified Jaehwan. The last time Jaehwan saw Sanghyuk was in the springtime during spring break, so heaven knows how the kid's changed since he saw him last.

"Now it's going," Hongbin says with a grin.

"You're a jerk," Jaehwan mumbles.

"When are you going to say something to him? You've liked him since your third year of middle school." Hongbin takes a long, shallow breath—an attempt at a deep breath. Pain is radiating from his spine, but he doesn't want to go anywhere just yet. "You should spend as much time as you can with the people you like." The tone of Hongbin's voice drops, and Jaehwan knows who he's talking about. Jaehwan threads his hands into his pockets, and they both watch the rain on the pavement.

"Jaehwan," Hongbin says, quieter this time. "Please don't mention Taekwoon."

"Of course."

The rain is loud, and Jaehwan knows that he'd be smart to pretend that Taekwoon wasn't even in the accident with Hongbin for this particular visit from Sanghyuk. Especially knowing that Sanghyuk has a horrible case of tunnel vision when it comes to Taekwoon.

Before long, Sanghyuk moseys up from the parking lot, keys in hand, smiling broadly. The butterflies in Jaehwan's stomach flutter, but he puts the feeling away, hoping Sanghyuk won't (or will) notice. Sanghyuk pushes his sunglasses higher up the bridge of his nose, but his smile falls off his face as he nears Jaehwan and Hongbin.

"Dude, what happened?" Sanghyuk asks as he comes to a stop before the two of them. "Why the wheel chair?"

Hongbin grimaces, then shrugs. "Car accident. Broke my spine and paralyzed my legs."

Sanghyuk stands with his mouth agape. ", I'm sorry. That really ."

Hongbin musters a smile, cranes his head to look at Jaehwan. "Let's go inside now, hm? It's lunchtime and my back is killing me."

"Of course," Jaehwan says with a nod, and turns Hongbin around to head back inside.

"Hey Jaehwan," Sanghyuk says as the pass into the lobby. He elbows Jaehwan lightly. "How's the summer going for you?"

Jaehwan shrugs. "Same old," he says as Hongbin reaches out for the elevator's up button.

"Ah," Sanghyuk says, nodding and folding his arms. He's pulled his sunglasses off his face, and Jaehwan can tell he's been in the sun, the faintest tan line outlining where is sunglasses were. "Hey, it's a bummer you weren't able to make it to my birthday dinner last week, it was a blast."

"Oh. Yeah." Jaehwan ducks his head, gently embarrassed. He hadn't even had any conflicting plans.

"You were my favorite senior from high school, it wasn't the same without you." Sanghyuk laughs that laugh of his and his eyes crinkle into twinkling crescents, the same way Jaehwan always thinks about. He can feel himself staring blatantly at Sanghyuk—he tears his eyes away when Sanghyuk turns his megawatt smile on him. The elevator dings and the doors slide open. Sanghyuk boards first, holding down the open doors button while Jaehwan wheels Hongbin in and turns around. Normally, Jaehwan would notice that Hongbin is smiling mischievously at Jaehwan and Sanghyuk's exchanges, but there's a fog of discomfort on Hongbin's face and a new layer of sweat on his brow.

"Hongbin, how's it going?" Jaehwan asks, crouching beside Hongbin's wheelchair. His brow knits in concern.

"Hurts," Hongbin mutters through gritted teeth. "Bad."

"Think you'll be okay for just a bit longer?"

Hongbin nods.

When they reach Hongbin's floor, Jaehwan makes extra sure to be careful as he pushes the wheelchair out of the elevator. Sanghyuk trails nervously behind the two of them, not sure of the situation but concerned nonetheless. Luckily, one of Hongbin's nurses is in the hallway, and spies the trio.

"How's it going here?" She asks as she approaches.

"It's starting to hurt," Hongbin says with a sheepish grin.

"Well then let's get you back to your room and we'll see if some painkiller is in order," she says, taking the wheelchair handles from Jaehwan.

Hongbin and the nurse chat about where his pain is and how intense it is on their way back to Hongbin's hospital room, and Jaehwan and Sanghyuk follow behind, sharing an apprehensive glance. The second nurse meets them in the doorway of Hongbin's room, and together they park the wheelchair as close to Hongbin's freshly made bed as possible, and one flips the foot rests out of the way, taking each of Hongbin's motionless legs by the ankle and setting his feet flat on the floor. It's a strange thing to watch, Jaehwan thinks, watching someone else having to move Hongbin's limbs for him. On the count of three, the nurses lift Hongbin out of the wheelchair, and shortly after, Hongbin is settled into bed with the blankets up to his waist.

"How's that back now that you're out of the hard chair?" The nurse that met them in the hallway asks, situating Hongbin's IV bag on its stand. Jaehwan is settling into his same chair as before, but Sanghyuk is standing dumbstruck in the corner of the room by the door.

"Still pretty painful," Hongbin says, and Jaehwan can tell it's embarrassing him, having to be honest about the pain in front of he and Sanghyuk.

"We'll get some painkiller in you, then," the nurse says with a smile. The second nurse conjures a syringe, and makes an injection into Hongbin's IV tube.

After the nurses finish fussing about with Hongbin's machinery and checking his vitals and so forth, the nurses decide they'll call in a pizza for the group of boys, and with kind smiles, close the door behind themselves.

Hongbin leans his head back and closes his eyes. "It to be like this," he says as Jaehwan pulls up a chair for Sanghyuk next to Hongbin's bed. Sanghyuk is still a little dazed, but sits down anyway. "Sorry it's gotta be like this, guys."

Jaehwan shakes his head. "No way, don't worry about us, okay?"

Sanghyuk scoots to the edge of his seat. "So are you gonna be like, alright?"

Hongbin chuckles at Sanghyuk's gripping concern. "Yeah, eventually."

Relief breaks across Sanghyuk's face, and the tension in the whole room relaxes. Sanghyuk slouches back in his chair, and Jaehwan steals a glance at him out of the corner of his eye. As the room begins to feel more and more comfortable, somehow they're all able to fall into comfortable chatter, Jaehwan slipping into his usual animated funny-guy self. They tell each other jokes and laugh about this and that, and Sanghyuk gives Jaehwan and Hongbin what-for for missing his birthday, then puffs up in pride for finally having turned nineteen. Jaehwan blushes at this. Only nineteen.

After a long while of chatting and nibbling on pizza, things begin to wind down as Hongbin starts to look increasingly exhausted. Sanghyuk excuses himself first, giving Jaehwan a firm clap on the back, and waving jauntily at Hongbin. Once he's gone, Jaehwan deflates just slightly, and Hongbin laughs.

Jaehwan sighs. "How much longer do you think you'll need to be in the hospital?" He asks, leaning his elbows on the edge of Hongbin's bed.

"A few more weeks," Hongbin answers, tapping his fingers on his food tray.

"I'll visit a lot, okay?" Jaehwan smiles. "Someone's gotta be here to tell you lame jokes and go outside with you."

Hongbin leans his head back and smiles widely, dimples and all.

"You have to promise me you'll work hard on getting better though, you hear? None of that depressed patient stuff from you. Pinky promise me." Jaehwan holds out his pinky for Hongbin, grinning from ear to ear. Hongbin latches his pinky onto Jaehwan's. "I've seen some pretty cool basketball players play in wheelchairs, so someday we're gonna play one on one again."

Hongbin can only nod, feeling his spirits lift.