Anonymous asked you: What camera do you use to take your photos?

 

Anonymous asked you: follow back :3

 

Anonymous asked you: selfie?

 

Jongdae sighs at his anon messages and deletes those that he has already answered more than a million times. He contemplates doing a FAQ, but people are already streaming into the lecture hall and he swiftly closes his tumblr dashboard. He’s been running his photography blog for more than a year now after he stumbled across the website while researching for his school project. It was fun in the beginning, when his own photography posts gets a few thousand notes. It’s been getting mundane though, merely reblogging and answering to anons. Jongdae has lost his spark in taking “hipster and notes-worthy” posts, claims a few of his anons when he posted a photoset of trees (which he also deleted after reading the anons’ messages and scrutinising them but in all honesty, trees are just ing trees; it’s not like he hasn’t posted cooler trees before). Jongdae’s a perfectionist, and it shows in his blog, with everything neatly tagged and replies all in standard English with punctuations and capital letters.

 

The professor marches into class, and Jongdae reverts his attention back to lesson.

 

It wasn’t until much later into the day when Jongdae opens his tumblr again. He stares out the bus window as he waits for the app to load and frowns as the high-schoolers at the back of the bus get louder by the second. He left his headphones at home and he wants to stab himself with a rusty fork for that. The bus stops outside his school and a huge bunch of students climb on board. Jongdae is silently grateful that he took the trouble to board the bus at the interchange just to secure his favourite seat: the row behind the back door, next to the window with the bell right beside him.

 

The little grey squares on the mobile app are gradually filling up with pale and monochrome pictures as more tired and zombie-like students take their seat on the bus and the bus is just about to leave the stop before it suddenly lurches to a stop again. Jongdae gets jolted forward and he looks up in annoyance as one young man thanks the bus driver profusely for waiting and stumbles to the remaining empty seat beside Jongdae. He smiles lightly at Jongdae as he settles down with his bag on his lap. Jongdae’s gaze lands on a tiny badge on his bag which was given out at the last day of orientation. Freshman.

 

Jongdae is usually oblivious to his juniors, he doesn’t appreciate how most of them are a tad too enthusiastic and loud.

 

A few reblogs later, the kid beside Jongdae falls asleep. The thing is, Jongdae doesn’t really care if anyone is sleeping or not, but this guy, is sleeping on his shoulder. Initially, he was just swaying side to side but now, he’s resting his head fully on Jongdae. It’s slightly awkward and Jongdae freezes in action when he realises that the weight of the head isn’t lifting off of him anytime soon. A few hard nudges from Jongdae proves to be useless in waking him up, so Jongdae relents and decides to just try to ignore the sleeping boy. Jongdae is mostly stoic and detached, but he isn’t completely unpassionate and the young boy seems really tired, with deep blue hues under his eyes to prove it. And he isn’t a drooling idiot or a stinking weirdo so Jongdae decides that he’s not too much of a bother.

 

Sleepy freshman finally wakes up a few more stops into the ride. “I’m so sorry oh my god, I wasn’t supposed to fall asleep on you,” he rattles frantically.

 

Jongdae looks up from his phone and turns to face the fully embarrassed junior. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Gee thanks! Here’s my stop, “ the guy says before waving goodbye to Jongdae, who merely nods in acknowledgement.

 

That night, Jongdae logs into his account on his computer and he gets a whole new bunch of anon mails.

 

Anonymous asked you: Hello... I’m a huge fan of your blog and your photography. Please keep at what you are doing and... yea, I’m just a huge fan.

 

-anon osh

 

Anonymous asked you: follback?

 

Anonymous asked you: wats ur fave color

 

Jongdae is numb to ordinarily nice anons ever since he hit a formidable amount of followers but he still finds himself obliged to reply to them. If anyone can like his blog enough to take the time to craft a short sentence of praise, he sure has the time to reply.

 

Anonymous asked:

Hello... I’m a huge fan of your blog and your photography. Please keep at what you are doing and... yea, I’m just a huge fan. -anon osh

 

Hi there anon osh, thank you for enjoying my posts. Have a nice day.

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Jongdae enjoys bus rides alone, his favourite music pouring into his ears as he looks out of the window, thinking or doing nothing at all. Sometimes you’ll find him asleep and other times, he’s probably on his phone or doing bits of reading. He thinks of bus rides as time for him to regroup and regardless of how noisy or packed the buses are, he is unfazed.

 

Early morning rides to school though are his least favorite kind of rides. Jongdae is barely awake by the time he boards the bus and he sometimes wonder why the heck his family decided to move away from their old house beside the school again. Today morning was decent, the monsoon season finally living up to its name and gracing the dry Seoul weather with some rain after a month-long drought. Jongdae appreciates the rain more than most do, and much of his photography involves the rain in one way or another. A few stops after he boards, Sleepy Freshman gets onto the bus as well and Jongdae only notices this because the water from his foldable umbrella drips all over him. “I’m so sorry!” He says, quickly keeping his umbrella in a small plastic bag and fishing out napkins for Jongdae. Jongdae watches on, slightly amused and significantly more awake than usual. “It’s alright, the air-con is so strong it’ll dry in no time.”

 

Less Sleepy Freshman smiles again, and Jongdae finds his smile incredibly likable, despite he being quite a nuisance on two separate occasions. He is about to go back to sleep, until he hears the man beside initiate a conversation.

 

“You go to Seoul University too?”

 

“Yea, I’m year 3 this year.” Jongdae says.

 

 

“I’m Sehun by the way,” Sehun good-naturedly replies.

 

“I’m Jongdae.”

 

“So you take this bus everyday?”

 

“As long as I’m going to school. What are you majoring in?”

 

Sehun stifles a yawn. “Business. Well then, I guess we’ll be riding the bus together for now!”

 

“You sound extremely happy.” Jongdae yawns too while noticing how Sehun’s eyes crinkle into crescents.

 

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

 

 

The bus ride passes by quickly as they small talk, Sehun ecstatic after learning that Jongdae majors in Business as well, as he’ll get to “copy all your homework and ask lame questions I don’t dare to ask the scary-as- professor”. He also learns that Sehun is a dancer and likes his bubble tea as sweet as possible. It is one of the first bus rides Jongdae spends talking to someone in a few years. It wasn’t too bad, and Sehun is bubbly and talkative,  clearly able to keep a conversation going even with Jongdae’s one word answers and Jongdae doesn’t find himself too reluctant to give up his serene bus rides. This is kinda shocking to him because Jongdae isn’t the most sociable person ever and Sehun isn’t the kind of people Jongdae normally hang with. He’s a tad too tall and noisy but Jondae can’t bring himself to say no when Sehun jumps off the bus and says, wind blowing his overgrown bangs off his forehead, “Let’s take the same ride home today!”

 

Jongdae thinks it won’t kill him to go home with Sehun once.

 ________________________________________

 

As it turns out, Jongdae doesn’t just go home with Sehun once. It becomes a daily thing, and after a few months, Jongdae somehow gets used to reserving the seat beside for Sehun and eating the breakfast Sehun brings for him every morning after he told him that he skips breakfast just to get to school on time.

 

Sehun claims Jongdae is short because he missed out on drinking milk and eating well for breakfast. Jongdae pinches him angrily, because no one is allowed to call him short. At least he’s taller than some of his friends.

 

“Besides,” Jongdae retorts as he munches on a chocolate donut, “ I’m way past the age to grow taller.”

 

“Hyung, just eat and don’t talk. Brown isn’t a flattering color on your teeth.”

 

“Look I’m -”

 

 

“Yea two years older than me blah blah don’t be so rude. Hyung, do you know you say that like five times a day? Just eat,” Sehun chants, eyes rolling as he hands him a bottle of banana milk.

 

“I’m just making a point, kiddo,” Jongdae mutters. He wonders when Sehun got so comfortable with him, and when he started to be okay with the fact that Sehun laughs about his not-pathetic-at-all height complex and joking with him.

 

“Point taken, hyung. Oh, remember the last time I told you that I’m in the dance club?”

 

“Uh huh. Why though?”

 

Sehun smiles a little shyly, fingers fidgeting,”We have this little dance recital coming up...”

 

“I’ll be there. Message me the time and date and venue.” Jongdae agrees promptly.

 

“Wow hyung, you’re totally easy,” Sehun winks and Jongdae pokes him in the ribs.

 

 

Truth is, Jongdae isn’t usually the kind to immediately agree to things like this. Especially dancing. Dancing isn’t his thing. Watching people dance is not exactly his favourite pastime either. Jongdae can do many things but one thing he absolutely cannot do is dance. The last time he attempted to dance was in middle school, and the memory haunts him till today.

____________________________________________________

 

Anonymous asked:

 

I’m anon osh and I’ve noticed you’ve stopped posting much...

 

Thank you for noticing, but I may or may not have lost the inspiration I used to have. Sorry.

________________________________________

 

Jongdae gets to the school auditorium on the Monday afternoon and he sees Sehun with some other guy he doesn’t recognise on stage. They look pretty close, Sehun saying something apparently funny and the other tanner guy laughs and kicks him in the .

 

“Hyung!” Sehun catches sight of Jongdae staring at him and he waves brightly.

 

Jongdae waves back, and waits as Sehun leaps off the stage, running towards him. “The show is starting soon, I didn’t actually think you would come, considering your hermit crab personality.”

 

“I hope watching some real pros can help with my two left feet,” Jongdae hums. “Is that your friend?” Jongdae points to the guy he was hanging out with a moment ago.

 

“Uh-huh, he’s Jongin, the one I’ve been telling you about,” Sehun looks over. “I gonna go get ready, see you later hyung!”

 

Jongdae watches as Sehun runs off and settles down with a bunch of other seniors he deems as friends. They include Junmyun, Kyungsoo and the freakishly tall Chanyeol. Jongdae can’t make up his mind about his friends. Does he hate them or just want to kick them in the balls? He doesn’t know.

 

“Ayy Jongdae,” Chanyeol shouts, “Didn’t know you were interested in things like this.” The others nod in unison as Jongdae sits down beside them.

 

“I’m not, but you see that guy on stage? The one in the denim jacket and sneakers? He asked me to come so I did.”

 

“You mean Sehun?” Kyungsoo chirps with his usually huge eyes looking even rounder when Jongdae nods. “How the hell do you know him?”

 

“We take the same bus, why? Who is he?” Jongdae is genuinely intrigued.

 

“He’s just the most popular new kid ever, dude, he’s like the best dancer other than Jongin and he’s been in the club for, like, two months.”

 

“HE’S THE DREAM MAN,” Junmyun states. He sounds pretty serious about it. Jongdae gives him a look. “Hey, no one needs to know you are thirsty for young boys, Junmyun.” Junmyun huffs loudly.

 

“So you guys are surprised because I know a cool new kid?”

 

“Yea, I mean you’re usually on your fancy tumblr and not socialising. Especially not with the cool people,” Kyungsoo says, matter of factly.

 

Jongdae scoffs at the term “cool people”. If it refers to people like Do Kyungsoo, he’d rather not be one.

 

“I guess he’s an exception then? Anyway, do these things happen often? This is a hell of a crowd.” The auditorium is slowing filling up. Sure, Jongdae knows how popular the dance club is among the school population but if this is only a small recital like Sehun said it was, the amount of people that turned up is pretty spectacular.

 

“Not really, sometimes they do open their dance practices to the rest of the student body but that’s it. They are all here for the triple threat of the team. Jongin, Luhan and most recently Sehun. You should see that Sehun kid on stage. He’s the only one that can hold his own next to Jongin. And he’s almost as good looking as Luhan.” Chanyeol gushes.

 

“So you guys have this embarrassing crush on him?”

 

“No, it’s admiration. You know we like supporting school clubs. Very supportive,” Junmyun stutters while the other guys discreetly look away.

 

“Yeah,” Jongdae chuckles, “No homo.”

 

Junmyun doesn’t get the chance to hit him because the auditorium dims. And the spotlight lights up the stage. Standing there is that kid Jongin that he’s heard so much about. It turns out that Jongin is really hell of a dancer. Jongdae doesn’t know enough of dancing to be a judge, but the way he moves on stage is almost mesmerizing and impossible to look away from. As the song fades out and the audience roar, Jongin runs off stage and Jongdae sits up a little straighter and claps a little louder as Sehun takes the stage.

 

What Jongdae notices first is the obvious difference in song choice. Jongin went for some dubstep song that really isn’t Jongdae’s cup of tea but Sehun is dancing to something a lot slower and melodious.  Sehun’s dancing is different and he’s amazing in his own way. His moves are fluid yet controlled. He has a graceful air to him, and the dance seems so effortless. Jongdae is too happy to hear the cheers for Sehun no softer than Jongin’s when he was done. He claps so hard for Sehun that his hands are stinging and he rubs them as other dancers he doesn’t recognise fill the stage. There’s this other guy, Luhan or something, who’s also pretty good and dances a while later, but Jongdae couldn’t care less because Sehun told him that he had two dances prepared for this recital.

 

“Is Sehun gonna dance again?” Jongdae asks Chanyeol, stifling his yawn.

 

“I think he’s closing this thing with Jongin?”

 

As soon as Chanyeol answers him, Jongdae sees Sehun and Jongin on stage again. If it was nice to see either of them dance individually, it was unreal to see them dance together and despite how different their styles were, they work perfectly with each other. It was another one of those noisy music and Jongdae doesn’t really like it, but he doesn’t complain because he’s too caught up in watching them dance. Mostly Sehun, though.  

Jongin is so precise and sharp, almost mechanical and Sehun’s slightly more relaxed, looking a little lazy next to Jongin but there’s something in that laziness it’s so darn attractive. Sehun likes to bite his lips as he dance, Jongdae notices, and there’s something about that that makes Jongdae’s heart tighten too. He swallows dryly at the insane number of hip s in a two minute long choreography.

 

The applause is thunderous when the curtain finally calls and Sehun rushes off stage to be mobbed by girls and he good-naturedly takes all the flowers and notes.

 

“Why have you never told me how popular you were in school?” Jongdae asks when the crowd disperses and he finally can talk to Sehun without a bunch of girls in between them.

 

“Um... It never came up in our conversations. Besides, does it really matter?” Sehun is still panting a little and Jongdae hands him his bottle of water.

 

“Not really. It would have been nice though, to flaunt to people that I knew a really cool junior who dances exceptionally well.” Sehun takes a sip of water and chuckles. “Thanks, hyung. I really appreciate it.”

 

“So, shall we go?”

 

“I can’t go home yet. Jongin wants dinner together. Sorry, hyung,” Sehun says really apologetically.

 

Jongdae shrugs and reassures Sehun he’ll be okay going home alone- he’s a ing twenty three years old- and he leaves for home. On the bus, he realises that he’s left his headphones at home again. It’s been a while since he needed his headphones anyway, Sehun always talking louder than his music and complaining that Jongdae wasn't listening to him. Habits are funny things. For the first time, Jongdae feels lonely on the bus without the smiley kid beside him telling him about his day in school. He's still got his favourite seat and the bus is nice and quiet, but he will gladly trade all of that for Sehun's mindless chatter and company. He wonders what Sehun could be doing at the moment, probably eating junk food with Jongin, talking about girls and dancing.

 

I'm a dignified twenty-three year old with a life and is considerably well known on the internet, Jongdae reassures himself, I'm not feeling pathetic because of them. Jongdae considers slapping himself, because ugh. He’s not obsessed with Sehun.

 

Not really.

 

Sehun is handsome by any standards, a great dancer and is extremely eloquent and fun and puts a smile on Jongdae’s stoic face in the morning but that doesn’t mean Jongdae likes him, right?

 

Right.

_______________________________________________________

 

Sehun is trying not to kill himself at the amount of workload he has for midterms. It’s his fault anyway; too much dancing and too little studying has made Sehun pull countless all-nighters for the papers. It’s his third one this week and he thinks he could actually collapse and die.

 

And Kim Jongdae isn’t of much help, because he’s done with his papers and right this moment, is snuggled in Sehun’s freshly-laundered sheets, reading some psychological novel he grabbed off Sehun’s bookshelf a few hours ago. Sehun invites Jongdae over to his house regularly, because Sehun’s parents are people with high-flying careers and are rarely home. Sehun insists that he feels lonely in a big house with only a maid around and that’s where Jongdae comes into the equation.  Jongdae usually comes over and they watch movies and eat whatever the maid cooks but today Sehun is too busy trying to survive the exams. The room is dead silent besides the sound of flipping pages and violent paper crushing when Sehun gets too annoyed at his economic diagrams.

 

“God, no one told me university life was gonna be this tough,” Sehun groans when he looks up at the clock. It’s two.

 

“Maybe the people you asked actually tried to stay awake in lectures and studied during the term.” Jongdae replies slowly, putting the book down and standing up. “Need help?”

 

“I was waiting for you to offer,” Sehun mumbles sleepily while resting his head on Jongdae’s shoulder.

 

Jongdae laughs and pushes Sehun off himself. Sehun’s warm breath on his neck isn’t doing anything good for his sanity and he can feel his heart racing a little. “Come on. Last paper. At least I’m here to help.”

 

The duo spends a few more hours tackling sample questions and somewhere along the way, Sehun falls asleep, his head landing on the table with a muted thud. Jongdae pauses mid-sentence as feels Sehun’s soft brown locks brushing his hand. He throws a blanket over Sehun before climbing into Sehun’s bed and closes his eyes.

 

Sehun barely makes it through the day after a groundbreaking number of seven cups of coffee. He manages to scribble reasonably coherent answers for the paper. The invigilator collects the paper, and he’s done for the term. It’s summer. Before that though, Sehun’s last thoughts before blacking out was oh god i need sleep sleep here i come

 

_____________________________________________
 

Jongdae decides to revive his blog after a long and unannounced hiatus. He logs in, and is unsurprised to find the number of followers drop. His ask box is still flooded and he ignores it. He has taken quite a few pictures over the summer break, some at the beach, others when Sehun dragged him out to the amusement park to play (Jongdae vows never to give into Sehun’s requests of taking the rollercoaster thrice ever again). The photos come out decent enough for his blog after playing around with the color settings and he posts them after slapping on some song lyrics beside the photos. The notes increases quickly, and he opens his ask box.

 

Anonymous asked you: SENPAI YOURE BACK

 

Anonymous asked you: Those photos are really nice

 

Anonymous asked you: ure from seoul? wow

 

Jongdae scrolls down his dashboard and his own posts appear, and he looks at them again. His favourite one of the lot is this one of the ferris wheel. It looks pretty against the clear blue summer sky and pristine white clouds. Very tumblr-esque.

 

When Jongdae snapped this shot, Sehun was at the foot of the ferris wheel, staring intently at it with squinted eyes . Sehun was dressed in light blue shorts and a white polo t-shirt that day, and Jongdae almost tried to sneak in a  photo of Sehun but Sehun turns around with a smile brighter than the sun. “Hyung, let’s go onto the ferris wheel. It looks like the one in Divergent, the one they climbed. How cool is it to actually climb a thing like that?”

 

Oh, Jongdae forgets to mention that Sehun is has an undying love for overrated novel franchises for teenage girls. It’s embarrassing.

 

“You can climb it yourself and I sure won’t catch you if you fall.” Jongdae mutters as he captures the ferris wheel using his phone and lets himself get dragged to the ticketing booth by Sehun.

 

Sehun laughs. “Oh but you will, hyung.”

 

Jongdae doesn’t quite know what to feel about Sehun. He’s more possessive of people and things than average people, but when it comes to Sehun, it’s a whole new different level. When Sehun bailed on him once to hang out with Jongin, he almost choked kitten out of anger. Jongdae knows he has no rights to be angry, because Sehun has a life and he is merely one friend out of the many he has. Still, it does not stop Jongdae from being sour. Maybe he likes Sehun as a friend just a tad too much. Maybe Sehun means more than a friend to Jongdae. Jongdae is very confused about his feelings.

 

Summer holidays means that he has a lot of studying to do and a lot of time to think about life and whenever his thoughts drift to Sehun, Jongdae sees Sehun scrunching his eyebrows when he’s deep in thought. Sehun dancing in sweatpants and white shirt that’s translucent with sweat. Sehun falling asleep on his shoulder. Sehun stuffing his face with sips of bubble tea and chunks of fried chicken. Sehun doing everything and anything.

 

god, Jongdae cries in his mind, i thought i was better than Junmyun

 

_________________________________________

 

Things look bleak for Jongdae when lessons resumes, and Sehun is busier than ever with dance and as much as Jongdae hates to admit, Jongin. He even starts doing this tiny list in his head called “What Kim Jongdae Can Do And Kim Jongin Can’t”.

 

The list ends up pathetically short. Because Jongin sounds like a pretty decent guy with many talents. It angers Jongdae. He barely knows Jongin, for god’s sake. All he knows is what Sehun has told him. Jongin doesn’t like wearing socks and he digs his nose in his sleep. Trivial facts about Jongin that don’t matter in his battle plan to become a person that Sehun will pick over Jongin. Who cares if Jongin spilt coffee all over his own dog? As long as it didn’t help Jongdae win in his stupid little competition that is exists only in his own mind, he doesn’t care.

 

Jongdae feels like ever since he met Sehun, he has gone against everything he stood for. He was a composed and grounded senior in school and now, he’s just an over-sensitive loser with a hopeless crush on a species he used to despise. But he can’t stop himself from falling deeper into the abyss of this ridiculous crush, especially when Sehun is still as attractive and crush-worthy as ever.

 

“Hyung!” Jongdae spins in the hallway when he hears Sehun. Sehun comes running down the hall. “You wanna have lunch?”

 

Sehun is wearing this light pink shirt that overly accentuates his broad shoulders and black jeans that makes his legs look like they go on forever. It’s an ‘almost paradise’ moment. Jongdae curses Sehun silently about his clothing choices. Jongdae is so upset about the way Sehun looks, but in a good way.

 

“Sure,” Jongdae replies.

 

“The thing is, Jongin has his lunch break now too. Can we eat together?”

 

 

Jongdae freezes a little at the mention of his rival’s name. And out of nowhere, Jongin appears behind Sehun and looks expectantly at him. Jongdae’s eyes narrow.

____________________________________________

 

Somehow, the trio ended up in the cafeteria because Jongdae knows better than turning Sehun down. The awkward silence is painfully noticeable and all Jongdae can do is munch on pasta and try not to scowl at Jongin.

 

“You know, Sehun always tell me about you, Jongdae hyung. He spends like 90% of our time together talking about you. You don’t mind if I call you hyung, right?”

 

Jongdae looks up, and Jongin smiles hesitantly. Jongdae stabs on one of his meatballs a little too hard and Jongin’s smile wavers. “Nope, I don’t mind.”

 

Sehun elbows Jongin and says,”Dude, I don’t talk about him that much.”

 

Jongdae smiles for the first time since his encounter with Jongin. “Really? That’s nice to know. Sehun talks about you a lot too.”

 

“He does?” Jongin chuckles. “Well he should. We’ve been spending way too much time together. Luhan almost wanted to break up with me.”

 

Jongdae chokes on his meatball, pasta sauce hitting Sehun on the face. “Hyung, you okay?” Sehun asks and passes him his cup of milk tea while wiping his face.

 

“Luhan is your boyfriend?” Jongdae coughs out. “You have a boyfriend?”

 

Jongin nods, “We’ve been together for a year now.”

 

Suddenly, Jongdae thinks Jongin isn’t as bad a person as he made him out to be after all. “That’s really cool, Jongin. You should spend more time with him, you know. So that he doesn’t want to break up with you again.”

 

“Believe me, hyung, he’s trying,” Sehun pipes in, “Last night, he called me for dinner because Luhan ignored 5 of his calls and 8 messages. He spent all night asking me for advice.”

 

Jongdae silently thanks all the gods that he likes Oh Sehun, not Park Soo Ha or something. He’d be so embarrassed if Sehun knew what he was thinking.

(a/n: park sooha is from the drama i heasr your voice, and he basically reads people's minds)

_____________________________________________
 

Anonymous asked:  

 

will u ever reveal ur true identity or name? and ure a guy right

 

As long as I remain active, I will not be revealing my identity. And yes, I have a .

 

Jongdae’s reply receives a lot of attention from his followers because the seemingly boring and proper blogger actually possesses some form of humour. Jongdae wonders if it’s the effect Sehun has on him. Somehow, crushing on Sehun feels a lot like his passion for photography when he first started. The urge to snap a photo of everything he found vaguely interesting, the constant late nights spent on figuring photoshop out and churning out edits even when he had various assignments due. It was the reckless, all-out feeling that Jongdae finds himself missing when photography slowly become a less important part of his life. Yes, photography is something Jongdae can’t live without, but it is also something he no longer prioritizes.

 

But Sehun makes Jongdae want to do crazy things all over again. He’s willing to get out his comfort zone for Sehun. Heck, he’s willing to climb the stupid ferris wheel, kill and Griever and sparkle in the sun for Sehun. Except, climbing the ferris wheel is illegal and the other two options are fictional. Sehun has become the reasons for his late nights as they spend hours playing FPS, killing zombies with katanas. Sehun seeps into Jongdae’s mundane life and fills up little pockets of Jongdae’s free time.

 

Jongdae realises only when it’s too late that Sehun has already occupied his heart.

 

________________________________________________

 

“Hyung, do you want to take it from the top?” Sehun asks as he walks over from the stereo, hand moving along to the beat of the music.

 

“Um, do you want to show me the steps again? I can’t exactly remember.”

 

At this point in time, Jongdae really regrets his decision of agreeing to learn dancing with Sehun. First, he didn’t think he was truly horrible at dancing. Second, he didn’t think Sehun can be so serious when it came to dancing.

 

Unfortunately, Jongdae is dead wrong.

 

Words can’t describe how ungifted Jongdae is when it came to dancing. He has zero hand-eye coordination and when he finally gets the moves, they come out looking nothing like the way they are supposed to look like. Jongin once commented that Jongdae looks like cross between a zombie and an electrified kitten dancing. Not that such a creature exists, but you get the point.

 

Jongdae is frustrated and angry with himself because he desperately want to be good at Sehun’s hobby. Everytime he tries to stop dancing, Sehun encourages him and buys him a frozen yoghurt with all the toppings and extra chocolate sauce because that’s Jongdae’s kind of comfort food. And Jongdae finds himself trapped in the vicious cycle of (trying to) dance and attempts at escaping practices only to be back dancing again due to immense guilt.

 

As the sun sets outside the studio, Jongdae manages to get the first 20 seconds of the choreography.

 

“I feel like someone rearranged all my bones,” Jongdae comments as he gulps down a cup of water.

 

“Not too bad for someone with two left feet,” Sehun compliments, and Jongdae knows for a fact that Sehun is trying to boost his confidence.

 

“You know what, you should show me the rest of this dance and I’ll video it down. Maybe I’ll even practise it at home.”

 

Sehun nods,” sure, why not? Although I’m highly suspicious if you’ll actually practise it. But I do want a recording of this choreo.”

 

Jongdae gets his phone and sits beside the mirror in front of Sehun. Sehun plays the music and starts dancing but Jongdae yells,” STOP. I’m not recording yet.”

 

Sehun rolls his eyes but he waits till Jongdae gives him a nod before starting again. It’s a two minute long choreography and Senhun has sweat dripping into his eyes when he’s done. His face crinkles at the irritation and he sits down beside Jongdae to watch the recording.

 

Jongdae stares at Sehun as he watches the playback. He sighs inwardly at how impossibly attractive Sehun is, especially when he looks serious and his eyebrows are slightly scrunched together.  And when the video ends, Sehun chirps brightly,”That wasn’t too bad but I’m kinda unhappy with the way the rap part turned out. Can we film that again another day when I figure it out?”

 

“Y...yeah!” Jongdae stutters, trying to pretend that he’s been watching the video and not staring at Sehun’s face. Sehun smiles and stands up to get water.

 

“Great! Say, hyung, why don’t you have a girlfriend?” Sehun suddenly asks from the water cooler, backfacing Jongdae. “I mean, you’re smart and eligible and everything...”

 

Jongdae gulps, it’s weird to be asked this, and he doesn’t know how to put it in a way that isn’t weird. What if he freaks Sehun out with the fact that he’s gay? “I don’t really have time for a girlfriend,” Jongdae finally mumbles. “I’m not really interested.”

 

“You’re... not interested in girls?” Sehun asks again, turning from the water cooler to face Jongdae.

 

“What?”

 

“I’m just fooling around hyung. You must be busy.” Sehun laughs it off and Jongdae laughs along weakly.

 

Jongdae is thankful Sehun doesn’t notice the way his face turned red and he wonders how terribly wrong things will go if Sehun found out he was gay. He isn’t willing to jeopardize their friendship for anything else in the world.

 

Jongdae fails to notice, however, the way Sehun stared at his shoes uneasily and his lips nervously as he asked Jongdae about his relationship status.

 

___________________________________________________

 

Jongdae finds it increasingly harder to pretend he only has friendly feelings towards Sehun. He himself is getting busy as graduation draws near and Sehun is constantly drowning in his commitments so all Jongdae looks forward to all day are the bus rides he share with Sehun. It’s the only times in day he gets Sehun to himself, and he notices himself getting touchier around Sehun, but he can’t seem to stop. Thankfully, Sehun is fond of excessively touching and contact and he seems to smiles extra brightly when Jongdae leaves his hand on Sehun’s lap for too long. Jongdae wonders if it is his imagination doing weird things to him.

 

Jongdae is preparing himself for the worst and he may just regret his life choices for the entirety of his existence but he is trying to find the courage within himself to tell Sehun how he actually feels. It is difficult, especially when he sees Sehun mindlessly flirting with girls like an expert and talking to almost everyone on campus as if he’s known them for a lifetime. Sehun is the popular kid that everyone loves, and Jongdae is so afraid that he’s merely another friend on Sehun’s endless list of friends.

 

There is someone that occasionally takes Jongdae’s mind off Sehun. It’s the anon he’s gotten close to on tumblr. Anon osh is surprisingly understanding and when Jongdae tells him (or her) about his predicament (albeit, without real names and identities), anon osh tells him to follow him heart. He has tried to get anon osh to get off anon multiple times, but anon osh has refused.

 

you know, chen, if you really like him, you’ll tell him how you feel. if he is as great a person as you described him to be, he’ll not judge you for being gay. good friends don’t do that

 

What if he doesn’t like me? I’ll look like an idiot.

 

or you could regret not confessing your feelings all your life. just tell him, be a man bruh

 

__________________________________________________

 

 

“Sehun?”

 

“... Jongin I swear to ing god... Yes, hyung?” Sehun answers from inside the dance studio.

 

“Are you done with practice? I wanna talk to you.”

 

“ off Kim Jongin- Coming, hyung!”

 

Jongdae waits patiently for the younger man outside the studio. It’s late and the campus is mostly empty.

 

“Hey Jongdae hyung. Sorry it took a while, Jongin was being a as usual.” Sehun scratches his head apologetically and takes a sip of bubble tea that Jongdae bought for him as they stroll towards the bus stop. The bus arrives as soon as they get to the bus stop, and they board the bus.

 

“It’s ok. Sehun, I-”

 

“You know at practice today...”

 

“Sehun. Please. I have something to say.” Jongdae says, as serious as he can possibly be.

 

“Ok?” Sehun looks at him hesitantly.

 

“The thing is... I like you.”

 

“I like you too, hyung.” Sehun smiles, bemused.

 

“No. As in. Like. I like you. More than just a friend.” Jongdae holds his breath as he watches Sehun carefully.

 

“You’re gay.” Sehun finally says after a pause.

 

“Yeah.” At this point in time, Jongdae is pretty much ready to run home alone and hide under his sheets forever so he would never have to face Sehun again.

 

This is it, Sehun is judging him. Jongdae feels like crying.

 

Sehun chuckles. “Well, I’m gay too.”

 

Jongdae is stunned. He can’t believe it. The Sehun that spent hours talking to the popular girls on campus is into too. Unbelievable.

 

“I probably don’t seem like it, but I’ve never been interested in any girls. Befriending them is cool, but that’s it.” Sehun explains, as if he read Jongdae’s mind.

 

“And hyung, I’ve kinda been waiting for you to say it.”

 

“Say what?”

 

“Say you like me?”

 

Jongdae chokes unceremoniously on his saliva. “What.”

 

“I’ve kinda had a crush on you since the day I fell asleep on your shoulder.” Sehun mutters, toying with a loose thread on the hem of his shirt.

 

“Really?” Jongdae asks. "Like in those lame shoujo mangas?"

 

 

“Really.” Sehun replies softly. "Like in those mangas."

 

“So... Are we a thing now?” Jongdae asks, visibly relieved. He is not the only stupid lovesick fool here. “Since I like you and you like me.”

 

“We could be. ” Sehun beams and nuzzles Jongdae’s neck. Jongdae hears his heart skip a beat and raises his hand to slowly ruffle Sehun’s fluffy hair. Sehun is like a cat. Jongdae loves cats.

 

Most importantly, this cat belongs to him now.

 

The bus rumbles to a stop near Sehun’s house and he hops of the bus, but not before pecking Jongdae ever so slightly on the cheeks. He runs of the bus and waves the blushing Jongdae goodbye as the bus drives away. Jongdae is all smiles for the whole way home.

____________________________________________

 

“Admit it. You were waiting for me, the senpai to notice you.”

 

“Hyung, you watch too much anime.”

 

“Shut up.” Jongdae punches Sehun playfully as he drinks his coffee.

 

“Fine. Jongdae senpai, thank you for finally noticing me.” Sehun laughs from across the table and chews on his tapioca pearls.

 

The small cafe they’re sitting in has great lighting and sunlight is pouring in from the huge glass windows. Jongdae has always found Sehun ridiculously handsome, and under the sun, with a cup of chocolate bubble tea in hand and smiley crescent eyes, Sehun is blindingly attractive. Jongdae takes out his phone, and while Sehun isn’t looking, snaps a candid shot of him staring intently at his cup of bubble tea like a little kid with his favourite toy.

 

“Sehun ah,” Jongdae sighs as he looks at the photo, “You are so good-looking you don’t even need filters in photos.”

 

“I know, it’s unfair for peasants like you, hyung.” Sehun laughs evilly and earns himself a kick underneath the table.

 

Sehun eventually moves to the seat beside Jongdae and falls asleep on Jongdae’s shoulder, and Jongdae knows Sehun is probably all he needs to be happy for a long, long time.

 

_________________________________

 

 

chen? i think we have a problem - anon osh

 

What is the problem?

 

ARE U KIM JONGDAE.

 

How do you know who I am?

 

ING HELL HAHA HYUNG ITS SEHUN IM ANON OSH  OH SEHUN IM SO EMBARRASSED YOU POSTED A PHOTO OF ME FROM THAT DAY IN THE CAFE OFC I KNOW ITS YOU OH MY GOD THIS IS SUPER FUNNY I WANT TOC RY

 

___________________________________________

 

Jongdae can’t believe he never realised osh stood for Oh Se Hun. What the heck.

 

What the actual heck.

 

“So I basically got relationship advice on a dating from the person I was going to ask to date.”

 

“Yup, hyung.”

 

“God, I can’t believe it. I never asked you for your surname. Since when were you an Oh?”
 

 

“Since 12 April 1994.” Sehun replies nonchalantly.  

 

“You .”

 

“What did I even do?”

 

“You refused to come off anon when I asked.”

 

 

“You should be glad I didn’t. Imagine how awkward that would have been.”

 

“I don’t care.” Jongdae huffs, blushing.

 

 

“Wait, hyung. I thought I was the brat in this relationship.” Sehun pokes Jongdae’s cheeks playfully.

 

“You owe me froyo for toying with my feelings.”

 

 

“I never did that.” Sehun puts his hands up and looks all innocent. “But if you ask me nicely, I will consider treating you.”

 

Jongdae looks at Sehun, all bright-eyed and pleased with himself, and he can’t be blamed for the need to kiss Sehun right there and then.

 

“I want extra chocolate sauce.” Jongdae mutters breathlessly before kissing Sehun harder.  Sehun grins against his mouth before pulling Jongdae closer.

 

“Anything you want, Jongdae Senpai.”