`02
Nostalgia
It felt stuffy and constricted almost, even though there was plenty of room. Breathing became laborious and I started sweating bullets.
His distant laughs, his beautiful smile and his scent that lingered around me were like sharp knives poking every part of my body. Yeah, it definitely was him doing this to me.
It was killing me slowly the more I stay, so I left the party hastily. No goodbyes or anything. I just drove home.
My energy drained a lot ; I was emotionally tired by the time I reached home. Once I cleaned up myself, I threw myself on bed. However, sleep was far from happening. Tumbling, twisting, I posed every sleeping position there ever is. Soft piano instrumental didn’t worked either.
His voice still lingered in my ear ; his soft, concerned tone that got to me every time. The way he said my name brought back waves of memories. Ones I wished I could keep hidden forever, locked away at the back of my head.
"I can't take this anymore."
There was no other option. Getting drunk is always the best remedy to make me forget about things. Well, up to a certain day though, but it helped for the time being. So I pulled a bottle of red wine and a wine glass from the wine cabinet in the kitchen.
Heading back to my room, I sat on cross legged on the bed and poured the wine up to the mouth of the glass. Then I raised the glass in a toasting gesture.
"To my ex, who decided to pop up when I could finally get over you."
Gulping every drop of wine, glass after glass. As the night darken, I lose myself. When morning came, I found myself lying on the sofa in the living room.
//////////
"Yui, are you all ready?"
I pulled the drawer in my make up table, rummaging through the jewelry pieces finding a matching accessory for my outfit.
Glancing at my watch, I replied, "Give me a couple more minute!"
"Okay, I'll be outside." The door to my apartment slammed shut.
“Come on, there has to be - oh yes, found it!”
It was a silver necklace with a key shaped pendant. The necklace was cheap, got it at a local market but it had this expensive and classy look. It compliment my light blue button down and white pair of jeans. Sometimes cheap and free things in life worth and mean more than expensive ones.
Before the leaving the room, I looked in the mirror. I smiled, grateful I was alive; breathing and living a life I loved. "Good luck, stay positive and mostly have fun, Yui-ah."
It was the day of the first cast meeting and script reading for the movie I was in. Just the thought of big names starring in it lit me up like firework.
The whole night, I prepared myself beforehand. I went through the whole script over again and visualized how the meeting would turn out like. That was how eager I was.
We arrived at CJ&M building half an hour before the meeting commence. It was held on the third floor, meeting room H.
"Can you believe it?" I turned to my manager, who was keeping up with me. "I'm in this movie with A-class profile director and million won casts. Does it mean I’m an A-class actress now? You must be proud of me, right?"
My manager creased his forehead in disbelief. “What? Yui, serioulsy?”
We burst out in laughter after a couple of seconds exchanging weird looks. It was a cheesy thing to say but my mind was not working properly at the moment. Maybe he put something in my coffee. Hmm...
"Oh come on, Yui. You know I'm proud of you." He patted me on the shoulder. Manager Baek had always been kind and caring towards me. Instead of a manger, he was more of a friend to me because we were of same age.
“Yui, I need to make a phone call. You head up to the meeting first, okay?” He said.
I nodded simply and waved him a temporary goodbye. Don’t be nervous, Yui. Stay compose. Act natural. I mentally reminded myself.
When I reached the destination, I lingered outside before going in. It was still early, going in now would probably be awkward for me. Dealing with new people, especially high profile actors made me looked so small. It affected my confidence in a way.
“Yui.”
I snapped my head towards the owner of the voice. Oh my god. Oh no. No, no, no.
He flashed me a smile that I don’t want to fall for. He was next to me in just a couple of seconds. I froze and stared at him with wide eyes with my mouth opened slightly. My feet took a step back unconsciously.
“Hey, hi.” He said.
Yui, say something back. Don’t look like an idiot.
“Hi.”
Doojoon, he dressed up so casually but it still gave out a formal image on him. I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact. That was when I saw what was in his hand. A script. A script with the same title as mine, ‘Rainbow of life’.
I guessed I was obvious eyeing the script. He asked, pointing politely at the script in my handbag. “You’re part of the cast?”
“Yeah. You too?” I replied, gripping my handbag hard.
Although the answer was obvious, it wasn’t wrong for me to hope that he was not a cast, right? A girl could hope. He could probably holding it for his friend or found it somewhere on the floor.
“Yeah. Wow, great.” He grinned. “I’ll be acting as Park Joon. Yui, it’s been -”
“I need to go in now.”
I turned quickly and walked away before he could finished his sentence. There was no need for him to say anything else. My heart wrenched. Things could not get any more tormenting ever since he came back.
The once excited, enthusiastic and bright Kwon Yui was gone in a matter of seconds. It disappeared like dust. I wanted to cry and withdraw myself from the production.
Why? Because Yoon Doojoon was going to play Park Joon. Park Joon; a soccer player and boyfriend to Yang Mijoo. And guess what? Yang Mijoo was me.
//////////
“Eonni...”
So Eun, dressed in shorts and hoodie opened the door, greeting a sulky Yui with a blank face. She didn’t asked straight away but let me into her apartment she shared with Jaerim.
“Kwon Yui, what’s gotten into you today?” She shouted from the kitchen.
I moped my way in and plumped myself onto the sofa across the television. I hid my face under a pillow.
“Yah!” So Eun smacked my thigh.
The smell of my favorite coffee sipped into my nose. The sofa plummeted down as So Eun sat. I sensed her eyes were boring on my back.
“Spill it, Yui. What’s wrong?”
I removed the pillow from my face.“Help me, eonni. I don't know what to do.”
Unhesitatingly, I squeezed in for a hug. Everything inside me, the feeling I held at the meeting, hate, frustration, agony and fear evaporated. Having someone to lean to when feeling down was such a blessing.
Right when the meeting ended, I excused myself and got into the van. He tried to approach but I was fast to avoid. When he stood there, looking at me walking away, it reminded me of the past. I didn’t wanted to deal with him yet. I needed time. Maybe some preparation. Emotional preparation.
"Yui, are you crying?" So Eun comforted me, squeezing my shoulder lightly.
"No." Tears slipped down on my cheeks.
"Is this what I think might be about?"
"That, but a little bit complicated."
"That bad?"
"Yeah."
"Wanna tell?"
We went back to sitting facing each other. She handed me my coffee which I took with a reluctant smile. From the beginning, I told her, about him being back.
"I saw Doojoon during your party. You knew that, right? And it didn't just end there. Remember I told you I got new film offer? The first meeting ended a few hours ago."
"Oh my god, no ?" She gasped, covering her hands on . Her expression told me that she figured it out already.
"Yeah." I said. "And we develop a relationship in the film. Romantic relationship."
This time, she was the one hugging me. Then we sat in silence. So Eun was texting, probably with her fiance while I watched the TV quietly. We did nothing for an hour.
Then the door clicked open and came in Jaerim, giving us both looks. “I heard someone is having a bad day. Cheer up, sister-in-law!”
He kissed So Eun on the cheek before plugging in microphones to his karaoke machine. Yeah, he had one because he liked singing.
"Kwon Yui, I challenge you to a singing battle!"
So Eun pulled me up to my feet. She handed me the microphone and winked. “Good luck, Yui. You’ll win, I’m sure. Cause Jaerim at it.”
“I heard that, jagi.”
We ended up singing our hearts out, which meant sad ballad Baek Ji Young songs were a must. I aced at Baek Ji Young’s ballad, especially ‘Like a bullet’ and ‘Please don’t forget.’
I felt so much better. Singing eased my worries, that I just found out. Exhausted, we laid our backs on the cold floor, all three of us.
"Yui, I think you could do it. Trust me. Since you're going to be an onscreen couple, do your best with it." So Eun said to me.
"Bring back the feeling of being in love even though he's your ex now. Show Doojoon you have moved on. Prove to him he meant nothing to you now. I have faith in you, sister-in-law." Jaerim reassured me, placing a hand on mine.
“Act as if he was nothing, Yui. Keep reminding yourself it was not real whenever you were in a scene together. We believe in you.”
"Thank you, both of you. I love you guys.
Author's note: Hello, sorry for a late update. Thank you so much to those who subscribed and commented. It meant a lot to me. College life is hard. /cries/
I hope you like this chapter! Do subscribe and leave some comments! Thanks for reading, love you xoxo
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