BUT I HAVE TO

I opened my phone and suddenly this song played on and I remember something…

Something that huts me but now it’s just a memory of someone I used to  love.

 

I see your face in my mind as I drive away,

Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way.

People are people, and sometimes we change our minds.

But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.

 

It’s me just me… and it’s already 8 months since we end the what we called FOREVER the one word I thought would never end but the truth is it end. Who would ever thought that Sandara Park and Kwon Ji Yong will end like this well people change and so they are.

 

After that day I cried until my tears drained… I cried until my heart became tired… and I promised myself that I will never cry again. Thank God they gave us space… everyone support our decision.

 

Since the day that we break-up he always going to Japan everyone thought it’s because of their upcoming Japan tour. And for me there is something that suffocates me that I can’t breathe everyone knows the issue about him and her we thought we can fix it I thought he can protect me.

 

Music starts playin' like the end of a sad movie,

It's the kinda ending you don't really wanna see.

Cause it's tragedy and it'll only bring you down,

Now I don't know what to be without you around.

 

The songs that he composed and sing just for me those little confession in his interviews. Now it’s just all memories it used to bring smile but now it change and it so painful.

 

And we know it's never simple, never easy.

Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

 

After that day we never formally talk to each other. At the YG Family Concert we just say hi and hello and be professional on the stage I smiled a lot and just have fun like I used to do. But still there is something in my mind thinking “will he approach me… will he come to my side… will he cheer me up…like he used to do..”

 

And I can't breathe without you

But I have to.

Breathe without you

But I have to.

 

At first I can’t I really can’t breathe every time I look at his IG update…. The applers twits and how they cheer me up every time there is some issue about him… but I need to be strong for my fans and for my friends and family.

 

Never wanted this, never wanna see you hurt.

Every little bump in the road I tried to swerve.

People are people, and sometimes it doesn't work out,

Nothing we say is gonna save us from the fall out.

 

We try to save our relationship many times… I always try and understand every issue about him and her because I know I need to understand it… so sad that the weather is getting cold and he became cold too colder as I ever imagine… until the day I decided to end it up I am the one who give up first because I am afraid the day that he will be the one saying those painful phrase…

 

And we know it's never simple, never easy.

Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

You're the only thing I know like the back of my hand,

 

Yes It’s never easy but I manage… and now it’s already a new year… new beginning for me and for him wishing he will be happy… happier than he is with me.

 

And I can't breathe without you

But I have to.

Breathe without you

But I have to.

I have to forget him from 8 months of moving on or should I say building the new me I realize something that I can do things on my own. Love my self and be happy because behind those painful things he gave me something I never experienced in my past relationship.

 

It's two A.M.

Feelin' like I just lost a friend.

Hope you know it's not easy, easy for me.

It's two A.M.

Feelin' like I just lost a friend.

Hope you know this ain't easy, easy for me.

 

And we know it's never simple, never easy.

Never a clean break, no one here to save me.

 

And now it’s already the bridge of the song I lost a lover but maybe we can be friends like how we started. It’s not east but that’s how start right.

 

And I can't breathe without you

But I have to.

Breathe without you

But I have to.

Breathe without you

But I have to.

 

But I have to…

And I must do…

 

 

Note:

Thanks for reading my first one shot

hoping for some comments >,<