Mark sometimes thinks Jackson is just a little too loud, a little too hyper, a little too much like a ball of overly bright sunshine no one can contain. And sometimes he tries to avoid him.

But Mark remembers how his heart wrenched as he watched Jackson’s crestfallen face, like he had been thrown from cloud nine to the lowest pit of despair, when they were shooting for ‘Roommate’. He remembers how that night when they had gotten back to the dorm, after the shooting and everything else was done, Jackson just shut himself down. Everyone knew he wasn’t mad, but they had never seen him so void of emotions either. It was like his soul left him, yet he tried to mask it with a cheerful front so hard it was borderline pathetic.

It was moment like this Mark remembers Jackson is actually 6 months and 24 days younger than him, that the rapper is only 20 years old despite how he usually behaves.

That night, when the boys retired to their beds, Mark quietly went to Jackson’s. He felt how the younger tensed and tried to restrain the soft sniffles when he noticed another presence but Mark knew better. With a “It’s okay, it’s just me”, the taller gently went under the sheets and spooned Jackson, fingers intertwining the other’s and lips pressing soft kisses over the mob of unruly raven hair. Mark whispered comforting words where his kisses lay, and when Jackson turned around to bury his face against his chest, sniffles turning stronger into hiccups, his long arms automatically pulled the younger in tighter and rubbed soothing circles on his back, pressing more deep kisses on the top of his head. The older boy’s heartstrings pulled at how fragile the usual wild and y Jackson Wang was being as his tears drenched the front of Mark’s shirt. It was only when Jackson’s breathing gradually evened out and his grips on Mark’s shirt loosened that the latter knew the rapper had been lulled to sleep and gently adjusted them to a more comfortable sleeping position.

Mark watched as Jackson went back to his cheery self the next day, and the day after next, and the days that followed. And he almost forgot that fragile soul that lives in the younger male, saved for the nights where Jackson quietly shuffled onto Mark’s bed and pressed himself flush against the latter, letting latter’s kisses and heartbeats lull him to sleep.

That is why Mark’s heart is filled with so much gratitude towards the much respected JYP when the man brought Jackson’s parents to Korea as the rapper’s Christmas gift on the same show that got the boy so disappointed. Because as much as the tears Jackson had shed when he met his parents, he had gotten back equally much glow, perhaps even more, after.

Now, Mark just thinks that Jackson is too loud, too hyper, and too much like a ball of overly bright sunshine no one can contain. But he doesn’t avoid the younger now.

Because Mark also remembers how his heart bloomed when he watched Jackson’s whole being was filled with happiness despite his tear-stricken face and unable to believe his parents were with him in that episode. He remembers that Jackson is 6 months and 24 days younger than him and that the rapper is only 20 years old.