A field of green grass, shrubs, and trees was all that she could see. For a month where the rain fall is quite high, California’s sky was clear. The sun was shining brightly and the clouds were in neat formations, shielding beings under them from heat emitted by the ball of fire herself. It should be a beautiful day to enjoy with her loved ones. But there she was, sitting alone on a bench under the tree.

“I thought the sky would grieve today… Apparently not…” the young woman mumbled, to no one in particular. The only reply she got was the cool wind gently caressing her face. 

“Sica.”

Jessica turned her head, and she could see two good friends of hers hand in hand, both clad in black suits. Taeyeon and Sunny only wore light make-up, but it didn’t lessen their beauty. There was, however, a trace of sadness on their puffy eyes. She stared at them with an unreadable expression, waiting for them to say what they want to say.

“We’re ready for you. The service will start soon,” the shorter of the two softly said. She then released their tangled hands and walked over to Jessica before holding out her hand to hoist her up from her seat.

With a sigh, Jessica stood up, ignoring the hand Sunny held out for her. She then, however, held her friend by the shoulder and started walking towards Taeyeon, holding her by the shoulder as well. The two other women were confused with the uncommon gesture, but held the long brown-haired woman’s waist in between, matching their walking pace to enter the church.

#

Clacking sounds of heels were heard in the church. With firm steps Jessica walked to the podium, feeling the eyes of at least a hundred people following her. As she took out her speech note, she could hear sniffles and soft coughs from all around the room. She was the last one to give the eulogy after the Hwang family and Taeyeon did theirs before. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before starting her speech.

“Tiffany is a good friend of mine,” she started, her voice solid. “She might be my closest friend, even. We have this bond that formed immediately after our first meeting. When I asked her what kind of bond it is, she told me that it might be because we were born in the same year. I find that odd, because in our little group there are four others who are born in the same year and three who are not, and I’m pretty sure we can still get on each other’s nerves regardless of our age.”

The tension in the room was lessened as most of the people there smiled. Jessica continued, feeling a boost of confidence. “The nine of us met during high school. I was the last one to join them, and Tiffany was the one who dragged me to join. It didn’t take me long to get along with them, since we were the nine girls who had the same thought: we hate the prejudice that all Asians are nerds.” Jessica smiled at her friends, who smiled back at her with misty eyes while the rest of the congregation chuckled at her story.

“I’m really happy to know these eight amazing, beautiful, and funny girls. I felt that they were the only people I need in my life, the ones who deserve my kindness. Tiffany, however, disagrees. She always thinks happiness comes from giving kindness to every kind of people – even those who we think don’t deserve it. I think we all can agree that we all came here today to honor that, as we have all seen her done it to all of us.”

Jessica took a deep breath, her thumb and index finger gripping on the crumpling speech note. “For some of you, Tiffany might be an energetic kid who makes silly mistakes and comments to lighten up the atmosphere, and yet fails every time she does,” she glanced at her seven friends, who tried hard to smile with tears b on their eyes.

“For some of you, Tiffany is a good daughter and sister who love her family the most, even though she hates her Korean name,” she glanced at Tiffany’s family seated in front beside her friends.

“As for me, Tiffany pulls out the good side of me. The nickname Ice Princess my peers gave me melts every time we’re together. She…is a very special person…” clearing up , she glanced at her notes, not wanting to continue her sentence. She gulped, fighting back the urge to cry. She promised not to break down, not when she was nearing the end of her speech.

“She is a daughter, a sister, a friend, a work mate, a fellow fashion stylist, or a fellow church mate, but no matter what Tiffany means to each and every one of us, I think we all agree that her passing is a great loss. She is an angel, and God wants her back, maybe a little too soon to our liking. I’m not going to say that she’s in a better place now, nor that we need her now more than ever, but we should be thankful that for a moment in our lives we have her.”

A tear escaped, and Jessica quickly wiped it away. “She won’t be forgotten, ever. She won’t be just a name engraved on a gravestone. Remember Hwang Miyoung, Stephanie, Tiffany, Fany, or whatever you may call her. Remember her.”

#

Jessica stood in front of the gravestone, holding a stem of pink rose in her hand. The burial had just finished, and people were slowly leaving the graveyard. From her sunglasses, she could see some of them chatting amongst themselves, before getting inside their cars and drove away. Still, the brown-haired girl stood rooted to the ground, not wanting to leave anytime soon.

A pair of arms enveloped her waist from the side, and soon another pair hugged her from the other side. “We are going for a get-together in Sooyoung-unnie’s house. Are you coming with us, unnie?” the doe-eyed woman on her right asked.

“You should come with us, Sica. Us getting together, drink a little bit, maybe spend the night, just like before?” the tanned woman on the left added.

“It won’t be just like before, Yul, and you know why,” Jessica whispered coldly, her gaze never leaving the engraved stone. The hugs on her sides tightened a little bit, but she didn’t mind; it was her friends’ way of reminding her to be calm.

“She will be there. I know she will.”

The three of them turned their heads and saw Taeyeon with Sunny, Sooyoung, Seohyun, and Hyoyeon trailing behind her. Losing a friend they loved dearly was hard, and it started to take its toll on them. They were all tired from crying; it was evident from their gaze and facial expressions. They still managed to smile nevertheless, albeit it was a tired smile.

“Come join us, Sica. Weeping with us is better than wallowing in your sadness alone,” Sooyoung said, rubbing her back softly.

“And I’m sure Soonkyu has more than enough booze to make us drunk by tonight,” Hyoyeon smiled. The usual-energetic girl was weaker than the usual.

There was no way she could say no, so she nodded to her friends, and turned her gaze back at the gravestone. “Just give me a minute alone with Tiffany. I’ll catch up soon.”

They all exchanged glances and nodded, understanding that the second-oldest woman needed time. She took Tiffany’s obituary the hardest, and even though they didn’t see her crying her hearts out, Jessica was heart-broken; they knew that much was true. One by one, they patted her shoulder before slowly making their way towards their cars.

“We will be waiting for you in the car then, unnie,” Seohyun added. She was about to make her way to the car when she suddenly stopped and bowed at the gravestone, giving one last bow to her favorite unnie.

Once she sensed that her other friends had left her alone, Jessica took her sunglasses off. Her eyes were puffy, as she couldn’t stop her tear-drops during the burial. She only stared at the coffin, holding her left hand.

“Hey Tiff,” she whispered with a tight-lipped smile. “The annoying brats have gone; it’s only you and me now. I hope you are comfortable. Getting stares from that many people for hours must be awkward, huh?” she chuckled at her own sarcasm.

Exhaling heavily, she continued. “It was shocking, Tiff. The news hit me like a ton of bricks early in the morning. I didn’t believe it at first, so I went to see for myself. I mean,” she paused, “we just talked on the phone a few days ago and suddenly you’re gone.”

Jessica shook her head in disbelief. “You were scolding me for not coming back for spending New Years Eve with you and the girls. I was busy, and you hated it. You hated my selfishness for the job, since it took me away from spending time with you. Well here I am, not giving a rat’s whether my job is still there when I come back to New York, just to be with you…”

Droplets of tear started coming down as Jessica hung her head low. “…even though you’re not really here right now.”

Sighing, Jessica wiped her cheek with her sleeves. “You’re my sister, my mother, my manager, my best friend,” she choked, before adding with a shaky whisper, “my love... I’m sorry I can’t show it to you more. I should’ve, shouldn’t I? You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You left before I could show you how much you mean to me.”

By then Jessica had shook uncontrollably, but she didn’t care. She just let her tears stream down, her arms hugging her shaking body. “I miss you already, Tiff... I miss your hugs, and I swear I would give anything to feel your warmth right now…”

Clutching at her necklace, Jessica sobbed harder. It was a necklace Tiffany gave her the year prior, during Christmas. At the very same time, she also confessed to the eye-smiling girl, giving her the ring she bought. The very same ring was worn to her deathbed, after combating a losing fight. She didn’t care if people would look at her in pity. She was already broken ever since she saw Tiffany on the hospital bed, covered in shroud. Only then could she break down, letting her grief shown. After all, she could only show herself in front of Tiffany. 

But she was gone. Her love had passed, and for a second there Jessica didn’t know whether she could live on without Tiffany. She was sniffing amidst her sobs, when she smelled something familiar. She could smell it anytime someone sneaked up on her, trying to surprise her, and failed every single time.

It was Tiffany’s perfume.

Jessica blinked her eyes, letting the last few teardrops fall, before looking for the source of the smell. “Tiff?” she whispered. 

She looked around, and nobody was there. The cars where her friends were waiting for her were far from where she stood, and as far as she could see, there was no living soul there but her. Sighing in disappointment, she turned her gaze back to Tiffany’s gravestone, about to give her last goodbye.

Jessica had just clasped her hands together in prayer, when she felt warmth on her back, along with the familiar smell. Somebody was hugging her from the back, even though she knew there was nobody there. She didn’t need to see, but she knew it was Tiffany. The embrace, the warmth, the perfume, they were all too familiar. She might be delusional for all she care, but just feeling that warmth on her was enough to make her smile, even though another tear escaped and dropped to the ground.

“You’re here. You never left.”

The warmth on her back intensified, and whoever or whatever was hugging her, tightened their hug. The brown-haired girl closed her eyes, praying in her mind for Tiffany, and gave her thanks to God for giving her one last goodbye, for she had missed it before. She stood there in prayer, feeling the warmth from her back warming her from the cold January winds and the familiar perfume calming her down.

When Jessica opened her eyes, her chest felt lighter, as if a heavy burden was lifted. She looked up, staring at the clear sky. “So the sky is not grieving – it’s consoling.” A warm gust of wind caressed her face, and she smiled at that. She didn’t have to miss her eye-smiling angel anymore. Tiffany had united with the universe; from the clear blue sky, the fluffy cloud formation, the cool breeze, the refreshing raindrops, the fragrant flowers, the shielding trees, and the warm sunshine. Once she turned her body away from the grave and slowly made her way towards her awaiting friends her tears had dried, and a serene, angel-like smile adorned her face. 

a/n As some of you might heard, NovaSoshi has passed away. The news was really shocking, as she have left us much earlier. But God has a different plan for us humans, apparently.

As I have mentioned in the foreword, this fic is an homage to NovaSoshi, I also added a bit of Ace Family pairings here, in honor to her fic, Find Your Soul. AsianFanFics has lost one of its great authors, and as a fellow author this is the least I can do.

That being said, her account and story will not be abandoned. Her unfinished fic will be continued soon. Please keep subscribing, give upvotes to her story, and leave messages on her wall. She will be missed, and never be forgotten.