It’s half past one in the morning when Taekwoon hears a knock on his door. He had been expecting it, trying hard to stay awake despite having worked a ten hour shift at the daycare (also known as the most tiring, energy draining summer job of all time). 

He was actually expecting Hongbin to show up at midnight sharp, like he’s been doing every year at this exact date, but when Taekwoon opens the door, he knows why Hongbin is late.

“Hi,” Hongbin says, slightly swaying on his feet, a lazy smile on his face that Taekwoon knows isn’t genuine. He tries to stop into the apartment but trips on his own feet before regaining his balance, a giggle coming out of his mouth. 

Taekwoon sighs. “Bin-ah…” He steps out into the hallway to grab a drunk Hongbin around the waist and lead him inside.

Hongbin melts into Taekwoon’s side for a minute, but then straightens up, taking Taekwoon’s hand with both of his. “Woonie hyung,” Hongbin’s eyes are wide, lucid, as if Taekwoon’s touch had been enough to sober him up. Maybe it has. “Let’s go watch the stars.”

The corners of Taekwoon’s mouth curl up in the hint of a smile, a smile that only Hongbin seems to have the secret for. Taekwoon ruffles Hongbin’s hair, says: “Let me get the blankets. Can you walk?”

Hongbin scoffs. “Of course I can walk. I got here safe and sound, didn’t I?” He takes a seat on the arm of the couch, waiting while Taekwoon gets the blankets from the top shelf in his bedroom closet. “Besides,” he adds when he sees Taekwoon come back with blankets under his arm, “you wouldn’t let me fall.” 

Taekwoon makes a last stop in the kitchen, retrieves the single pink flower he has bought right after work and put in water as soon as he got back home. He makes his way towards Hongbin, who let himself fall down onto the couch, his feet dangling over the side. He only has to wave the flower in front of Hongbin’s eyes to get him on back his feet. 

“The flower,” Hongbin whispers, his fingers hovering above the petals like he’s afraid to touch it, “You never forget the flower.”

“You carry it,” Taekwoon says, placing it carefully in Hongbin’s hand. 

Taekwoon grabs his keys and makes his way out into the hall, but when he looks back, Hongbin is still standing next to the couch, staring at the flower in his hand.

‘Binnie?” And when Hongbin looks up Taekwoon can see the way his eyes are glistening with unshed tears. Taekwoon doesn’t mention it, instead reaches his hand out to Hongbin, silently asking him to follow. 

Once the door is shut and locked behind them, Taekwoon locks his fingers with Hongbin’s, squeezing once. “Let’s go,” he whispers into his hair before placing a kiss on his temple and leading them out into the night. 

☆

The cemetery is only a short walk away from Taekwoon’s apartment. The night is cold for July, the wind biting at their fingertips, Taekwoon hiding their entwined hands into his jacket pocket. Hongbin stays quiet the whole time, clinging to Taekwoon’s side while still making sure the flower stays safe, stays pretty.

Taekwoon leads the way around the graves, although Hongbin could probably find his way with his eyes closed.

They come to a stop by a tall tree near the back of the graveyard and Taekwoon squeezes Hongbin’s hand again before releasing it. “Tell her I said hi,” he whispers, and Hongbin nods before slowly making his way towards the nearest grave. 

Taekwoon watches Hongbin as he kneels in front of the stone, hears him say, “Hi mom,” and then Taekwoon stops listening. He never felt the need to hear more, Hongbin’s privacy always being more important than his curiosity. He lays one blanket on the ground, wrapping the other one around himself, and lies down, his earphones in. 

Taekwoon doesn’t know how long it takes before Hongbin takes out his right earphone and plugs it into his own ear. “Where you sleeping,” he asks, but Taekwoon isn’t even sure.

Taekwoon sits up for a second, wrapping the blanket around the both of them and looking straight into Hongbin’s eyes, ‘Are you okay’ on the tip of his tongue, along with ‘I’m here’ and ‘You know you can let it all out, it’s just me’. But he stays silent, his fingertips wiping the tear tracks left on Hongbin’s cheeks. 

Hongbin rests his head on Taekwoon’s shoulder, whispers: “Thank you, hyung.” And when Taekwoon glances back at the grave, he sees the pink flower carefully placed on top of the stone. 

☆

“Isn’t it weird,” Hongbin starts, and Taekwoon shifts slightly to get a better look at him. “How it’s been five years. Five years we’ve been doing this, and not once did we ever see a single cloud.”

Taekwoon brushes Hongbin’s hair out of his forehead, something Hongbin has always hates but Taekwoon likes the way Hongbin grabs his hand instead of swatting it away. Tonight Hongbin also presses his mouth to the soft skin on the inside of Taekwoon’s wrist. Just a slight, short brush of his lips before resting their linked hands over his heart. Hongbin is still looking at the sky. 

“Always a clear sky. Stars so bright… brighter than on any other night of the year. Did you ever notice?” Hongbin finally looks back at him, and it’s Taekwoon’s turn to look at the sky. 

“No,” he says, “I never noticed.” But now than he’s paying attention, the stars do look brighter than he’s ever seen them.

Hongbin scoffs, “Of course you haven’t. You never even look at the stars when we come here,” and then he laughs softly when Taekwoon’s eyes widen in surprise. Hongbin sits up, looks down at Taekwoon with amusement clear on his face. “What? You really thought I never noticed? How every year we come here to watch the stars but you actually spend the entire night looking at me watching the stars?”

Taekwoon feels his cheeks get warm, and tries his hardest to bring the blanket up over his face with only one hand, Hongbin not letting go of the other. Then he hears Hongbin’s soft giggle and it’s good to hear, it’s good to be reminded that Hongbin won’t always be sad. It almost makes him wonder why he’s hiding in the first place. 

Then the blanket is being pulled away, and Taekwoon is still hiding his eyes in the crook of his elbow when he feels the delicate press of lips on his.

It’s careful, playful, but it makes Taekwoon’s blood boil and freeze all at the same time. He feels like he’s going to explode. When Hongbin pulls away, Taekwoon drops his arm to his side and opens his eyes to see Hongbin hovering just a few inches away.

“Hi,” Hongbin says, his smile warm and sincere this time around.

And Taekwoon swears he can see a shooting star in his eyes.